So... lemme try to explain what’s going on, here.

It seems to be taking it all very seriously, so here goes.

There’s a monster, with no nose, who’s allegedly a computer virus that’s escaped into the real world…

…who can literally suck the ones and zeroes out of monitors, not the computers themselves…

…and who – if you try to use a landline phone next to a coffee cup that’s plugged into a TV – will…

…possess the phone with its virus-ness, I guess, physically tearing it apart, and…

…um… and then ‘program’ the ten feet of wire inside the phone to leap out and attack you…

…because, uh… because it, um…

…because it can do that.

I mean, sure, not everyone had the best grasp of technology, science, and science fiction in 2001, but still, I can only assume the writer based this all on a 10-minute inebriated tech support call he had with his nephew last spring.