Composers According to Tumblr

Bach — Have you heard the good news about our Lord and Saviour Herr Baroque Sassmaster? Haters can fugue off.

Haydn — pretty much a source of puns about his name

Handel — such pretty choral music! I can’t even Handel it! Teehee…

Brahms — beard guy

Beethoven — do not fight Beethoven. I MEAN IT DO NOT FIGHT BEETHOVEN!
YOU DON’T STAND A CHANCE!!!

Mozart — *loving voice* ‘Wolfie, you little shit…’

Schumann — wasn’t he married to Clara or something…?

Schubert — precious tiny morbid Austrian. Composed cute little songs that are actually about death.

Wagner — bastard

Rossini — delivered sick burn to Richard 'Dick’ Wagner, therefore we love him.

Chopin — *sobbing pianist voice* 'You cause me nothing but pain! Why do I still love you?’

Liszt — Chopin’s boyfriend with the yaoi hands

Mahler — he loves hammers

Tchaikovsky — he loves cannons

Shostakovich — beautiful Stalin-hating cinnamon roll to good for this world, too pure

Stravinsky — You sure love sacrificing virgins. Are you alright, lad…?

Glass — he repeats himself he repeats himself he repeats himself

Strauss — Der Rosenkavalier = hot mezzos in armour = everyone’s happy

Which American Composer should you fight?

John Philip Sousa: Will you win? Probably not. He was in the marines, so he’ll probably kick your ass. But do it. Punch John Philip Sousa in the face. For all of us. I will pay you to fight Sousa.

George Gershwin: You could probably win this fight, but what will it accomplish? Nothing. He’ll just cry and you’ll hate yourself for making him cry.

Leonard Bernstein: Are you kidding? Have you ever watched Lenny conduct? Have you seen his music and time signature changes? He’ll kick your ass.

Aaron Copland: DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT FIGHT AARON COPLAND. HE IS SIX FEET OF PURE, CONCENTRATED ANGER. AARON COPLAND WILL DESTROY YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU LOVE.

John Cage: Fight John Cage. Just do it. You know you want to after that 4'33 bullshit. Use your rage to fuel you and you will win. Just remember: people buy sheet music for 4'33.

John Williams: Don’t fight John Williams. He will crush you with his massive amounts of money. You will die, suffocating under the checks for Hedwig’s Theme and The Imperial March.

Louis Moreau Gottschalk: You will definitely win this fight. No one really knows who he is, but fight him. There is no chance you will lose

Eric Whitacre: ABORT MISSION. I’m like 80% Eric Whitacre is some sort of God incarnate and you don’t want to incur his wrath.

Charles Ives: Do not fight Charles Ives. He is a precious cinnamon roll, too good for this world. Too pure. Just let him continue writing his weird music. He hurts no one.

The composer Hans Zimmer was at work on his score for Man of Steel when Nolan approached him [for Interstellar]. “Chris said to me, in his casual way. ‘So, Hans, if I wrote one page of something, didn’t tell you what it was about, just give you one page, would you give me one day of work?’” Zimmer recalled. “‘Whatever you came up with on that one day would be fine.’ I said, ‘Of course, I’d love to.’ One day, an envelope arrived, almost handed to me by Chris. It was on quite thick paper, typewritten, which told me there was no carbon copy. This was truly the original.”

On the paper was a short story, no more than a precis, about a father who leaves his child to do an important job. It contained two lines of dialogue – “I’ll come back” “When?” – and quoted something Zimmer had said a year before, during a long conversation with Nolan and his wife at the Wolseley restaurant in London. It was snowing, central London had ground to a halt, and the three of them were more or less stranded. “There was no movie to be made, there was no movie to discuss, we were talking about our children,” said Zimmer, who has a 15-year-old son. “I said, ‘once your children are born, you can never look at yourself through your eyes any more, you always look at yourself through their eyes.”

He worked on the score for a day and then let Emma Thomas know he was done.

“I said, ‘Do you want me to send it over?’ She goes, ‘Oh, he’s curiously antsy, do you mind if he comes down?’ He got into the car and drove to my studio in Santa Monica and sat down on my couch. I made the usual excuses a composer makes when they play something to somebody for the first time. I played to him, not looking at him, I just stared straight ahead at my copy of the screen and then I turned around and he’s sitting there. I can tell he was moved by it. He said, ‘I suppose I’d better make the movie, now.’ I asked him, ‘Well, yes, but what is the movie?’ And he started describing this huge, epic tale of space and science and humanity, on this epic scale. I’m going, ‘Chris, hang on, I’ve just written this highly personal thing, you know?’ He goes, ‘Yes, but I now know where the heart of the movie is’. Everything about this movie was personal.“ (via)

Sometimes I like to imagine classical composers with sassy t-shirts

For example

Chopin:

Mozart:

Brahms:

Shostakovich:

Bach:

Liszt:

Mahler:

Mussorgsky:


Beethoven:

Stravinsky:

10

RIP James Horner (1953-2015) - The great composer of nothing less than 156 projects, died yesterday on a plane crash. Horner’s music was known for his distinctive use of chorus or soloist; or in the case of villains’ presence a four-motif note was easily recognisable, sometimes to the point where audiences already knew not only who’s providing the music but could also point out where else such similar theme was used. The peak of Horner’s career was with Titanic (1997), the biggest-selling orchestral soundtrack in history, earning him two Oscars (also as composer of the hit My Heart Will Go On), two Golden Globes and two Grammy’s, in addition to the other 3 he had, for Glory (1989) and An American Tail (1986). The list of directors he was closely associated has names like James Cameron, Phil Alden Robinson, Ron Howard, Mel Gibson, Alan J. Pakula, Phillip Noyce and Edward Zwick, working with them more than once. Credits include: The Hand (1981), The Dresser (1983), Cocoon (1985), Aliens (1986), The Name of the Rose (1986), Field of Dreams (1989), Dad (1989), Class Action (1991), Patriot Games (1992), Sneakers (1992), Swing Kids (1993), Legends of the Fall (1994), Apollo 13 (1995), Jumanji (1995), Ransom (1996), Enemy at the Gates (2001), A Beautfiul Mind (2001), House of Sand and Fog (2003), Troy (2004), The New World (2005), Avatar (2009), The Amazing Spider-Man (2012) and most recently Southpaw (2015) and The 33 (2015).