[note: pictures are meant to be read left to right, top to bottom]
i am so PISSED. i dislike when my photos are reposted without credit but what i hate even more than that is when people try to defend themselves and claim they’re not doing anything wrong when they’re called out. just own up to your mistakes and do better in the future, jfc.
this girl blocked me before i could post that last comment and now i can’t see her IG page (but ya gurl still kept her receipts and took screenshots tho HAH) and i would really appreciate it if you all either reported her account or commented on her pictures telling her to cite her posts from now on! (or even just scroll through her account and tell her where a certain picture is from if you recognize it? honestly, anything at this point to get her to acknowledge this problem)
it’s not even like i asked her to delete all of her posts or go through each one and back search it to find the source?! like literally what i said is “cite FROM NOW ON”. that’s a completely reasonable request. i didn’t even report her right away - i offered her the chance to stop doing what she’s currently doing. like!!! i am being so fucking reasonable!!! and she’s just blowing me off!!! what the fuck!!!
so yeah. please tell her to start citing her pictures otherwise you’ll report her. she doesn’t fucking understand why what she’s doing is wrong and this is NOT okay. (like really though. go tell her. don’t just like this post. that won’t help anything.)
One thing that I really like about Shadowhunters (as opposed to The Mortal Instruments as a series of novels) is that it actually portrays healthy romantic relationships. The best thing about Malec in the show is that they are actually somewhat equal! It’s not just Alec running around begging for a crumb of affection from Magnus and being horrible when he gets nothing in return from a completely reasonable request (it’s totally ridiculous that Magnus won’t tell him anything about his past at first. Honestly. That’s a conversation that everyone has to have with their partner at some point. It doesn’t need to be in depth but come ON).
Yeah the effects are cheesy, and some of the acting is honestly terrible (I think Kat needs to tone it way the fuck down, but having seen some of her previous acting work I think she has always been an overactor and that’s fine I just appreciate more subtlety) but I think it’s so rare to see a healthy relationship of any kind, much less a healthy LGBT+ relationship and I think we all need that
I also love that Climon is a real relationship - Clary is with Simon because she loves him, not because Jace is her brother. I imagine they will eventually find they would rather be friends, but I love Simon and I hated seeing him used so poorly and knowing it.
We aren’t going to talk about the disrespect done to the beautiful angel that is Isabelle/Emeraude because I can’t without getting angry but I am so glad they shut that shit down even though it took far too long
i think at one point hannah says that alex kind of started it all when he put her name on the list but like?? didn’t it all start when bryce sent that picture that justin took on the playground?? hannah wyd
“We are NOT doing that,” Stan says, backing away. “Uh-uh, not happening, no fucking way.”
“Language, Stanley,” Ford says, even though none of the kids are around. Stan knows because he had glanced around frantically when Ford showed up in his room, half hoping for rescue and half hoping the kids would never see this side of their great-uncle Ford.
The side, specifically, that wanted to screw his werewolf brother.
Toronto Pride is going to be a shitshow this year. Fascist groups are planning on attending/marching because the believe they’ll have impunity without uniformed police marching in the parade. Already planning to attend to counter-protest. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a riot. No matter what happens, at the end of the day BLM is going to be blamed for their completely reasonable request THAT THE POLICE COMPLIED WITH to not have uniformed officers marching in the parade.
finds himself woken at sometime-past-midnight-but-before-sunrise and not by his
own design, he’s cross, until the security guard who’d shaken him awake informs
him that V is at his door, the one person the guards are allowed to wake Jumin
up for. Rubbing his eyes, he scrambles to his feet, digging his fingers into
the mattress to help him gain his balance, then he’s at the front door, where V
has already stepped inside.
“V…?” Jumin raises a tired
eyebrow, feeling odd at meeting his friend without even brushing his hair or
his teeth first. V’s face is expressionless and a little blurry, as Jumin’s
eyes haven’t yet quite adjusted to the light. “Are you all right?”
V musters an unconvincing nod, and
Jumin beckons V to follow him to the chairs by the balcony. V walks slowly
around the table and they take seats across from each other. The wooden chairs
feel hard and cold compared to the bed Jumin was comfortably sleeping in barely
a minute ago. He rubs his eyes again in an attempt to rid himself of some of
REQUEST: bucky/reader. He wakes up and goes to the kitchen to wash his face bc he had night terrors from all the tortures and killings he’d been doing for Hydra. The reader finds him bc she wakes up to drink some water. He has a moment in which he doesn’t recognize where he is and the reader comes from behind calling his name. He submits her and bends her with his metalic arm
Bucky Barnes woke up from yet another nightmare, with a sheen amount of sweat on his body and heart racing in his chest. It had become the norm for him to wake up in the middle of the night because of his nightmares.
Flashbacks of the torture and the things that he had done were coming back to haunt him. The amount of sleep that he had gotten those last few weeks were not enough and it was getting to him. He was snappy with his friends and exhausted the majority of the time.
Bucky got out of his bed and walked out of his room to the kitchen. It was closer than the bathroom and he wanted to splash some water on his face.
He assumed that everyone else was asleep since it was quiet.
(Y/n) had been awake too but on the roof. Normally when she couldn’t sleep she would go for a walk but she didn’t want to venture out of the tower that night. (Y/n) was still getting used to being an Avenger. She was recruited by Nick Fury and she felt like she needed to prove that she could do amazing things like everyone else.
When she started getting chilly she decided to head back inside. If she would’ve brought a jacket she probably would’ve stayed out there all night.
After opening the elevator with her fingerprint, (Y/n) pressed the button for the main common area. She wanted to get some water before retiring to her room to try and get some sleep.
She walked into the kitchen and froze when she saw Bucky standing by the sink. His eyes were closed and he was taking deep breaths. He was losing himself but she didn’t know that.
“Bucky?” She spoke softly. She didn’t know if he was feeling ill or anything.
Bucky’s eyes shot open when he heard her. He didn’t even hear her walk in. At first he thought that he was hearing things but then he turned and looked behind him.
He saw (Y/n) was standing just a few feet away from him. She was still in regular clothes and not pajamas. Her hair looked like it was a tad unruly from being outside.
Bucky could feel his heart racing and knew that his night terrors weren’t over. He closed the space between them with two strides. (Y/n) recognized the look on his face. In that moment he wasn’t Bucky Barnes.
He was The Winter Soldier.
Bucky grabbed her by the neck with his metal arm and lifted her off the ground. (Y/n) saw the look in his eyes. He was completely lost and she never experienced that without Steve around.
“Bucky!” She trying gasping for air, her hands flying to her neck trying to pry his grip off of her.
It’s like she never spoke at all. She swung her legs until one of her feet managed to kick him in his knee as hard as she could.
Bucky let her go and she landed on the floor gasping for breath.
“It’s me, Bucky! It’s me! You’re okay!” (Y/n) scooted back as she saw he moved closer to her again. Her arms shielded herself.
“(Y/n).” She heard Bucky whisper.
She lowered her arms and saw that the murderous look in his eyes had gone away.
“I’m so– I’m sorry I didn’t. I’m-” he couldn’t complete his sentences.
(Y/n) got up slowly. She could feel her neck beginning to ache already. She knew that she would have terrible bruises by dawn.
Bucky had started to tremble. He felt more guilt coursing through him. Another person harmed because of him.
He expected for her to run away and to get Steve or Stark. (Y/n) and Bucky never really had much of a friendship. They were cordial but that’s it.
Bucky felt one of her hands against his back in a soothing manner. He turned to look at her, “Why are you still here? I could hurt you.”
(Y/n) would be lying if she said she wasn’t a little scared, but she wouldn’t show that to him. She didn’t want to contribute to anymore of his guilt.
“You won’t hurt me.” (Y/n) surprised Bucky and herself by saying that. She took a step closer to him and wrapped her arms around his midsection. Bucky froze not knowing what to do at first. He hugged her back and felt his heart start racing again but for a completely different reason than before.
Harry: He was trying. Harry was focused and determined to get his marriage back in working order. They had been to a few sessions of couple’s therapy, they had been talking on the phone, and he was currently trying to weasel his way into a family dinner at his former home but, so far, his wife wasn’t budging. His mother had suggested to him that he give her Edwin for the weekend and take his wife up to the countryside, get re-acquainted but Harry wasn’t going to offer that until he had access into his old home again. For now, he made the most of the time he was allotted with his son. While Harry would never use his son for selfish purposes, he always made sure to tell Edwin to report back to his mother about what an amazing time he had with him before dropping the little boy off at home on Sunday nights.
Currently, Edwin was howling in the bath tub, the water just slightly above his hips. Even though Harry was sitting outside of the tub, dressed and dry, he still knew how to make his kid laugh until his sides were sore. He reached into the tub and took the remaining bubbles lightly into his hands, forming a feather soft beard around his shaven face. Edwin would reach up, fingers already like prunes, and poke at the bubbles. It happened every single time he had a bath, but every single time, it was hilarious. Secretly, Harry thought that if he returned Edwin to his mom polished and bathed every time that she would take notice and start begging for him to come home. It was silly, but Harry couldn’t help but be proud of himself as a father. While he had failed his wife in a handful of ways that he could admit, he knew, without a doubt, that he was an excellent dad. There was a time where he and his wife wanted a huge Styles brood, but now Harry was starting to wonder if that would ever happen.
“Let’s see those feet, kid.” Harry reached over the tub and pulled up one of his son’s soles. Edwin, while charming and cute, could not be contained by four walls. He was a bull in a China shop so Harry had kept him occupied in the backyard of his mom’s house (where he was currently residing) and it wasn’t until Edwin was covered in dirt from his toes to his nose that they would go inside. “We got to scrub these. Whoa!” He laughed along with his son who was reaching around for his plastic boat while Harry wet the sponge and started at the dirty feet. All day he had wanted to bring up certain things about the separation with Edwin, but fought his urges. Harry knew that it was impossible for a boy of three to really grasp what was going on and it wasn’t fair to burden his tiny mind. Edwin had stopped asking when Harry was coming home a week or so after he moved out. The boy was happy to have time with his parents regardless. Both Harry and his wife kept their issues away from Edwin and he never asked about them since he was wildly unaware. Harry couldn’t fight it anymore though. He shook off the last few soap bubbles from his chin and let his mouth do what it did best after singing and kissing, talk. “Hey, Eddie?” He put down the first foot and exchanged it for the other, rubbing a green bar of soap over it slowly. Harry’s son looked up from the plastic boat in his hands and up at his dad. His wet hair was already beginning to curl. He really did look like a miniature version of Harry (which Harry could not have been happier about). “What does your mum do when you’re over here with me?” He tried to ask innocuously, but Harry was terribly curious. In his last couple’s counseling therapy, she had brought up how she wasn’t ready to date yet and it nearly made Harry’s head spin. Of course, she shouldn’t have been ready to date – they were still married and working on their marriage.
“I don’t know. I’m here.” Surprisingly logical, Eddie told his father, his attention already back on the sailboat, dumping water out of it and on to himself.
“Yeah. Good point.” Harry mumbled, putting down his son’s foot and moving the soap upwards over his son’s little legs, just as pasty as his old man’s. “Has she ever said that she’s going out with friends or anything?”
“Auntie Nee-nah comes over.” Edwin annunciated. Harry rolled his eyes at the sound of his wife’s friends name, but then slid his stare over to his son to make sure that he hadn’t noticed. His wife was a grown woman, he couldn’t tell her who to spend time with, but in Harry’s opinion, Nina was a loon and just a bad influence. If there was anyone who was going to tell her to go out to the bars and hook up with random men, it would be Nina O’Shaughnessy. He still couldn’t believe Nina and Niall dated once, but that was a whole different story.
“Does she ever talk about me?” He asked, shrugging his shoulders casually. Harry felt found out. Edwin was looking up at him like he smelled something fishy and it wasn’t coming from the bottom of his feet. “I’m just wondering.” Harry shrugged again, his own eyes dilating as if he was defending himself to his own toddler.
“She misses you when we watch movies.” Finally, Edwin told him.
“Really?” Harry asked, careful not to sound too excited about the news. “Like how so? What do you mean?”
“Mummy is always saying that you know…how to work the movie player…and make the…popcorn and stuff…” He fumbled over his words, distracted by his toy and the water running from his head down his nose, but eventually Edwin got all of his words out. It made Harry smile to know that even if it was only in a small way that his family still needed him, his wife still required his assistance. One would assume she was born yesterday if they ever saw her try to put a movie on, the remote control became her biggest enemy in those moments and even Harry fancied himself an expert at the art of popcorn popping. He knew their microwave like an old reliable friend.
“Would you like me to come over for a movie night sometime? Maybe in a couple days…” Harry knew his week ahead was busy, but he would make time for the chance to be at home and hanging out in their large basement together. He wondered if his wife would even let him sit on the same couch as the two of them. It made his heart hurt to think of her sitting alone with Edwin, subjected to the same penguin movie over and over again but it sounded a lot better than how Harry had been spending his evenings, without either of them.
“Yeah!” Edwin shouted happily, throwing his arms down in the water and accidentally splashing some in his father’s face.
“Well, you got to tell your mum that.” Harry informed his mini-me, hoping that this wouldn’t fall under bad parenting. He wasn’t trying to put Edwin in the middle of his parents, he simply saw a door open and he was grabbing the opportunity. “Could you do that? Could you ask her to invite me over for a movie?” Dinner might be pushing it, Harry thought.
“Yeah, I’ll do it.” Excitedly, like a puppy after hearing the word ‘treat’, Edwin responded with a dramatic nod and wide grin. “Can we watch Happy Feet?” Harry couldn’t remember how many times he had seen the movie at this point. He blamed his sister entirely for showing it to Edwin when he was two, but he was too thrilled at the prospect of being in his own home again with his family to turn it down. This felt like a step in right direction to him.
Liam: It had been forty three exhausting days since Liam had picked up Belle from school. He would have liked to have seen her since then and his schedule had allowed weekends for him to come into London and spend time with her, but she never returned his phone calls or replied to his texts. He had argued with her mother twice over the phone, trying to force their fifteen year old to spend time with him, but the answer was the same both times: “She isn’t five anymore, Liam. I can’t tell her what to do.” Liam thought that was utter bullshit. While Belle certainly wasn’t five anymore, she also wasn’t thirty five. She was a teenager living under her mother’s roof and Liam thought it was completely reasonable to request that she be forced against her own will to have dinner with him. He had shown up at an awards ceremony for Belle, two weeks after picking her up from school, where she was being honored for having the highest grade in Physics in all of the United Kingdom. He absolutely beamed with pride and filmed the entire ceremony on his phone and while he waited outside the hall where it was held to congratulate her, give her a small bouquet of flowers, and get a photo with her, Belle never came out. She had seen him, they exchanged awkward smiles, but she never came to meet him. According to her mother, she had spotted Liam’s longtime girlfriend, Jenna, there as well and she wasn’t going to come out until Jenna was gone. Torn, Liam left the building with his hands in his pockets, head down, and heart absolutely shattered.
Sometimes, when he couldn’t sleep due to being racked with guilt over his relationship with his daughter, Liam wondered if he should stop trying. He felt like he was wasting his energy, but at the same time, Belle was worth all the stress to him. He tried to keep it to himself. There were very few people who understood. The press certainly would have a field day with the information anyway. Liam had learned to be very private after his daughter was born; the first ten years of her life were practically chronicled by tabloid magazines. Outside of the band, Andy, and his family, Liam kept the pain to himself. It was wearing on him though and everyone could see it.
The rain poured down and flowed off of the top floor balcony in Santa Monica, where he was staying while he and the boys worked on writing songs for their upcoming album. He and Jenna were currently looking for a house to move into together out there, but there had recently been some talk of, maybe, moving to London. Liam already had a spacious flat over there and he wanted to stay close to his daughter, even if she wanted nothing to do with him. Liam was ready to crawl into bed after a long day of running errands, working on songs and getting nowhere, as well as finding himself under a lot of pressure from his girlfriend to make a decision on where they were going to live. He couldn’t count how many times she said to him that she had a life too, not just him.
Liam stripped his black crew neck over his head and tossed it onto the chair by the rain stained window and stood in his Calvin Klein briefs, black everywhere but the waistline. He checked his phone, hopeful for a text from his daughter, but mostly checking to see if Jenna had anything more to say or if there was a new email from management, but nothing important appeared on his screen, so he crawled into bed and let the rain sing him to sleep as it came down harder and harder. His eyes had only been closed for a few minutes when the sound of a door slamming and feet shuffling with muffled voices caught his attention. He was pretty sure he had been the last one to go to sleep. Zayn had passed out before the sun even went down, exhausted from a very energetic weekend, Harry had gone home to be with his family, Niall had driven to San Francisco to see his girlfriend who was filming a pilot out there, and Louis had gone to bed just before him. Liam rubbed at his temple, the noise from outside his bedroom door making him cross. The light from the hallway poured into his room since he hadn’t closed the door, so finally rose from bed, throwing his legs over the side of it and shuffling out to the hallway. When Liam reached the top of the stairs, overlooking the mansion they were renting, he spotted Zayn in his underwear, pressing buttons on the wall to try and open the gate to the place.
“Did you call for a taxi?” He looked up and asked, his voice groggy as he had just been woken up from the sound of the intercom buzzing. Liam scratched at his bare stomach and shook his head ‘no’ as he yawned. Whether or not he should have, Louis let the cab in anyway. He thought, maybe, it would be Harry or Niall but he was sure one of them would just open the gate themselves. Curling his hands around the upstairs railing, Liam waited and watched with tired eyes. He was ready to be mad at who had disturbed him and almost looking forward to shooting them a glare born from the depths of Hell. The doorbell began to frantically ring, but Zayn pulled it open as quickly as he could – now just as eager to be pissed off as Liam was. He stepped back, though, once he revealed a very wet Belle Payne behind it. He raised his brows in astonishment and held the door opened wider to let her in. Even if Liam neglected to talk about it with him, Zayn was well aware what was going on between the two Payne’s.
“Belle?” At first, Liam sounded surprised as he spotted his daughter out in the rain, but as he went to jog down the stairs to her, he felt only concern grow inside of him. What was she doing here? She should have been in England. It was eight in the morning in England. Did her mother know where she was? How come she didn’t call him? “Belle, what are you doing here?” He reached his arms out to her out of instinct, running his hands up and down her arms in a poor effort to warm her up. She was shivering from being out in the rainstorm and drenched from head to toe. Her green hoodie stuck to her body and wasn’t doing the slightest thing to keep her warm. He wished he could have offered her his own shirt, but he was standing there in his underwear with Zayn wearing just as much behind them, locking the door.
“I feel like I’m going to explode…” Her eyes were sinking into her worn out face, Liam could only see it when she moved her soaked brown hair away her face. She didn’t wear much make up, but there was a smudged black line under her eyes and he had a feeling it didn’t get that way from the rain. Liam took his hands off of her and rubbed at his temple, confused and worried over the situation.
“I’m going to go get everybody some clothes.” Zayn pointed upstairs and nodded at Liam, knowing he probably wasn’t needed in the situation. In fact, he was happy for his friend that he was being given a chance to be a dad again. Liam was an excellent singer and performer, but everyone thought that he was born for the role of Belle’s dad the moment she came into his world. Zayn left Belle and Liam alone, going into Liam’s room to find some sweatpants and shirts for both of them to wear.
“Come into the living room.” Liam hesitantly put his hand on his daughter’s back, not sure if she would be okay with it, and then started to escort her to the room over. It dawned on him then that she hadn’t grimaced when he touched her before and he made a mental note of how good it made him feel. He put a couch cushion down on the leather recliner before she took a seat in it. Liam pulled up the foot stool and sat on the very edge of it, his elbows on his knees and stared at her with his hands cupping both sides of his face. “Belle, what is going on? Does your mum know you’re here?” He asked, noticing now that she was crying again.
“No.” She squeaked out, her face shriveling up as if her whole body was withering in pain. Liam hadn’t had any insight into his daughter’s life for a long time. She had shut off all of his ways to get to know her, so it came as a surprise to him for her to be acting like this. He always knew she was deeply emotional, but he hadn’t actually seen her so inconsolable and just plain sad before. Zayn returned into the room, handing his friend a pair of sweats along with basketball shorts and a t-shirt, he left the room again and let Liam take it from there as he went back to bed. Liam stood up only to slide on the basketball shorts, giving Belle the other two articles. “There’s a bathroom right around the corner.” He nodded and pointed in the dim light, knowing she would find it eventually. “Wash up a little bit, just put your wet clothes in the tub. I’m going to make tea, do you want some tea?”
Belle licked her lips, trying to sniffle away her tears, and just nodded a ‘yes’ before taking the clothes and going to do as her father said.
He headed to the kitchen to put on the kettle and start on making tea for himself and his daughter, something herbal and decaf. Liam was torn over how to feel. He was worried for Belle and confused by what she was doing at his place and in the US, but he was also filled with happiness that she had come to him. As he put the water filled kettle onto the stove top, he texted Belle’s mother to let her know that Belle was in California with him and she was okay. Luckily, she didn’t respond right away. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to deal with two crazy emotional women at once.
Liam pulled down two black ceramic mugs from the cupboard and turned around to see Belle had joined him in the kitchen. He grinned at the sight of his daughter. While she still looked sad and damp, she wasn’t nearly as disheveled as she had been. She was being swallowed whole by his sweatpants and blue Nike shirt. She had tied her hair up to sit at the very top of her head in a wet brown bun and Liam couldn’t help, but slightly smile at her. Belle was cute, even if she didn’t want to hear that from anyone – especially her Dad.
“Hey, it’s almost ready.” Liam put the mugs down on the counter before shuffling around the island in the middle of the kitchen and pulling out a stool for her, but she was already sitting down lazily on the one beside it.
“So, what’s going on, Belle?” Liam waited on the stool in his hands, sitting right beside her but trying to keep some distance between them. He didn’t want her to push him away again. “Are you okay?” His mind had stirred over a few possibilities over what could be going on and Liam was just praying it wasn’t gang-related.
The teenager slid her arms up and scratched behind her neck, looking away and trying to avoid her father’s eyes. It only made Liam more anxious. Belle smoothed her lips together, going in and out. Liam was just about to press her to spit it out when the kettle began to whistle, prompting him to get up and tend to it. As he moved the kettle to a cooler element and pulled down a set of tea bags to put in each mug, behind him Belle swallowed hard and began to speak.
“I…I…I just…” Liam looked over his bare shoulder, watching his otherwise highly intelligent daughter struggle to get her words out. “All week I’ve felt like I’m going insane, maybe even more so. Ever since the award ceremony, I keep being given these different tests and assignments, Hannah is ignoring me now because she thinks I think I’m too good for her, and there’s all these newspaper articles, and I just…” Once again, Belle started to cry. Liam put down the hot mugs of tea and watched his daughter with agony in his eyes. Belle had always been hard on herself, he imagined his lifestyles and the photographers that came with it probably had something to do with that, but he also knew that he was hard on her about grades as was her mother. They wanted her to be a star student; they thought it was what would benefit her in the long run. Liam couldn’t have been more proud of Belle, but his mother had mentioned that Belle’s blessing might turn into a burden and it was starting to seem like she was right. Liam rushed over to the stool again as Belle was crying into her hands and pulled her into his chest just like he would when she was little and required comfort from a nightmare. Soothingly, he hushed into her ear and rubbed her backside, feeling just how tense she was underneath the baggy clothes she had on. “Dad, I felt like I was going to explode. I was waiting for the tube and I couldn’t breathe…” Belle panted as she pulled away from her Dad, staring him straight in the face, their eyes locked, as she sat closer to him than she had in ages. Liam couldn’t believe it “And I just thought I need to calm down, I need to talk to someone, and Mom is no help, she thinks I’m like a genius, and I just….I just wanted you and you weren’t there.” As if on cue, Belle began to cry again, but this time she willingly put her head on Liam’s shoulder and sobbed.
“I’m so glad I can be here for you.” Liam had always told Belle that she could get on a plane and see him anytime that he had made arrangements for an open ended ticket to be in her name at Heathrow, but that was ages ago and she never used it – not once. Now though with his little girl in his arms, he was thrilled that he had never cancelled it. “Oh, Belle,” As happy as Liam was that she had come to him, that she wanted him, his heart hurt to hear her so upset. He thought she wanted to be the best in physics, he thought she was enjoying school. He had no idea that she was crumbling under the pressure. As he thought about it now though, she was fifteen and studying University level science. He didn’t even know the periodic table anymore. Suddenly, he felt stressed about science and he didn’t enjoy the feeling at all. Liam could only imagine how his little girl was feeling, though he did know many a thing about pressure. “Oh, Belle, I’m always here for you. Always.” He had told her that her whole life, but it seemed like she always needed to be reminded.
“I’m sorry that I’ve been so horrible to you!” She cried out, her voice croaking as her eyes looked up at him. Liam just shook his head and gently moved her back to his shoulder.
“Don’t be sorry. It’s okay, baby.” In a whisper, Liam told her. “It’s okay now.” And he really hoped it would be.
Louis: It was a simple request Louis thought. Stella had made it plain that she wanted to live with her father. She was twelve years old and, to Louis, that was old enough to make an informed decision for yourself. He wasn’t trying to take her away from her mother as Stella still wanted to see her mother; she just wanted to live primarily under her father’s care and in his home. He was no more than a twenty minute tube ride from his ex-wife. He was actually pleased to realize that this was something he could provide for his daughter. At first, Louis thought his job wouldn’t allow him to be the kind of parent that was constantly there, but after talking to other musicians he had come to know in his years on the road, it was more than doable. He had prepared himself for long conversations and heated battles with management, but they were more than accommodating. They thought it would be great for his image actually. It was Stella’s mother who was one hundred percent against it.
At first, she was emotional. She had lost two children before and the idea of having her living one taken away from her in any form caused her to throw a tantrum fit for reality television, but Stella, even at her ripe age, was able to sit down with her mom and calm her down. Stella’s mother said she would consider it, but a month went by and the idea was never discussed again. Every day, after school, Stella would go to her dad’s house, but always had to be home at her mother’s by eight. Louis had worked up the courage to bring it up with Stella’s mom again, but he had no idea that he would wake up the next morning to his publicist telling him that he had a lawsuit against him now.
“Breaking the terms of agreement? What?” Louis sat up and itched at his bedhead. It was a lot to take in in general, but worse when fresh from sleep. He had been having the best dream involving an ice cream sundae and a particular naked television actress he was quite fond of. He couldn’t believe this was what it was ruined for. “I haven’t broken any terms of our agreement!” Louis defended himself, not realizing his publicist couldn’t do anything about it. “I’m trying to alter them. That’s what Stella wants.”
“The agreement is that you have Stella every two weeks for a week and she has been at your house every day for the last month.” The sweet voice peeped on the other side, trying not to rain on his parade any harder than she already was. “Negligence.” She continued to read the custody papers to him.
“Negligence?!” Now Louis was simply insulted. He knew his ex didn’t love him anymore, that she had moved on but this was just low and hurtful. “How am I neglectful? You just said she has been at my house all month!” He was shouting and Louis rarely shouted, but at the moment, he wasn’t in his present mind. He was feeling enraged like he hadn’t in years. Without realizing it, he had risen out of bed and was pacing back and forth, completely naked in his bedroom.
“Well since Stella’s birth, you have been on a number of tours and promotional trips. You’ve missed a few birthdays…” Very quietly, his publicist reminded him. She wasn’t paid to stroke his ego, she was just paid to keep his life organized and this was new chaos. “Reckless lifestyle/endangerment.”
“Are you kidding? There’s nothing to back that up. That’s just ridiculous.” If Louis couldn’t feel his cell phone heating up in his hand, he would have been absolutely convinced that this was just a bad dream. A very bad dream.
“Well, you are a rock star. I’m sure they can dig up something.”
“So, what exactly does she want? What are the terms? Louis’s eyebrows lowered over his deep blue pools as he finally stood still, sucking in his gut in order to prepare for another hard blow.
“Full custody of Stella with alimony until she is eighteen.”
His eyebrows couldn’t come together any closer, his skin was starting to hurt over his face. Louis could feel himself heating up, hotter than the phone, and it took everything in him not to throw his cell phone across the room along with pieces of furniture – starting with the desk by the wall.
“This is insane. Doesn’t she know I’m not trying to take Stella from her? Stella can see her mother every single day; she just wants to live here. She wants her home to be with me.” He didn’t know why he was telling his publicist this. It meant nothing to her. Louis would have shouted this at a barista; he was just muddled and angry. He felt if he didn’t talk, he would punch, and punching would be a far worse decision. “This is what Stella wants. Surely, a court of law would grasp that.”
“Stella is 12, Louis. No one knows what they want at 12.”
He stroked his chin with his free hand, trying to digest everything he had just been hit with. He felt his phone buzzing in his hand and took it from his ear to see that his daughter was calling him. He wondered if she knew about all this.
“I’ll call you back. Stella is calling me.” Louis didn’t even wait for a goodbye like he usually did. He just hung up and retrieved his call after clearing his throat. He didn’t want to sound angry when talking to the most important thing in his life. “Hi Stella.” He answered, feigning happiness.
“Dad, I didn’t do this, I promise! I’m so sorry!” In one oversized breath, Stella let out on the other end. “I had no idea. I wouldn’t have asked if I thought this would happen.”
“Stella, don’t –“
“It’s all over the Internet and mom’s lawyer came over and had breakfast with us.”
“Stella, don’t tell them anything.” Louis warned. He hadn’t realized it had become public knowledge yet. His publicist hadn’t mentioned that to him, but he also hadn’t given her much chance to. Louis hadn’t had the opportunity to look at his phone either since his publicist had been the one to wake him up. He wondered if there was any messages about this since the whole world apparently knew. “Don’t worry about this. I will handle this with your mother, just go to school.”
“I’m going to tell her that I want to stay with her. I don’t want to put you through this. Dad, I’m really sorry.”
“Stella, stop worrying. Fighting for you is the only thing worth fighting for to me, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong, stop apologizing.” Even when the world was completely caving in on him and his body was struck by stress, Louis always knew how to be a good father. His daughter would always get the best of him.
“I feel so bad. I don’t know why she is doing this.” Stella whispered under her breath.
“Your guess is as good as mine, kid.”
“I have to go to class, but I’m really…”
“Stella, don’t.” Louis shook his head. He didn’t need an apology right now, well not from his daughter at least.
“I love you.” She said as quick as she could before hanging up on him.
Louis felt completely alone for a moment and he was able to really feel how stunned he was by what was going on. He reached behind him before plopping down on the edge of his unmade bed. He didn’t even look down at his phone in his hand though it wouldn’t stop buzzing. It could have been his lawyer, his mother, a sister, maybe even Harry or Niall, but he wasn’t checking. His relationship with Stella had been perfect, even after the divorce, and the idea of losing it curled him into a ball. He found himself under the covers again, his phone on the floor, and crying silently into his pillow case. He hadn’t been that way since his son died years ago.
Niall: “Janie!” Not even a nanosecond after throwing open the door of his flat, Niall held his arms open wide and greeted his ten year old daughter as loudly as he could. Of course, she wasn’t accompanied by her older brother, Dylan, but Niall was prepared for that. His relationship was Dylan was barely existence anymore, but the constant chill between the two of them somehow kept it together. Things with Jane were easier somehow and Niall always looked forward to having some quality one on one time with her. He remembered finding out that he would be the father to a girl, twelve years ago, and how it petrified him. He didn’t know anything about girls, just that they could be crazy all the time if they really wanted to be (sometimes even if they didn’t want to be), but Jane had never been a handful for him. There hadn’t been any issues with drama, boys, or body parts – not yet at least and Niall was praying he would not be around for any of them.
“Let me help you with that.” Niall held the door open with his back and reached to grab her gym bag from her shoulder. She was a little thing, all legs, and the bag looked like it was wearing her down into the hardwood floor. Jane was only going to be staying with him for two nights, but she had brought her backpack and a huge bag for her football match on Saturday afternoon. Luckily, waking her up at night while watching sports games had done him well as Jane had grown into an athlete and adrenaline junkie. While he knew his daughter was looking forward to her game, Niall was especially excited for it. He loved seeing her on the field and in action. Niall carried it down the hallway to Jane’s room, following her as she walked through his place as if she was there every day. Niall loved that she was so comfortable and content there. As soon as she had put her backpack down on the single bed, Jane whipped around ponytail first and gave her Dad a hug around the neck.
“It’s nice to see you.” She hummed against his cheek before kissing it and letting go of him. They had had plans to get together on Tuesday, but Jane had been busy with a practice and was swamped with a project on Winston Churchill.
“Oh, you too, my girl.” Niall smiled as he held her back, her gym bag thunking to the floor as soon as he saw her arms coming towards him. Harry was always warning him that one day she would be embarrassed by him, one day she wouldn’t be as affectionate and sweet, so Niall savored every hug and smile that he could get out of his Jane. He knew from Dylan how terrible it felt when it went away. “I’m thinking we should order some Chinese and just pig out while we watch the game tonight? How does that sit with you?” He leaned against the door frame and watched his daughter as she went into the closet that she kept at his place, pulling out a knit sweater from her grandma and sliding into it. He really was very proud of the little lady that she was growing into. He wondered if he could take any credit for it.
“I’m all for it except when you say Chinese, you mean pizza, right?” Jane laughed, her accent as thick as her father’s, as she reached up and tightened her bright blond ponytail to the top of her head.
Niall just grinned back, “You really are my kid.” He laughed. Jane loved to eat as he did, specifically pizza. “I’ll get on it right away. Did you bring your homework?” Niall asked though he was already walking down the hallway and over to the kitchen where his cellphone was.
“Yep!” He heard Jane call back from her room.
Once he had ordered a large deluxe pizza for him and Jane to share, he wandered out of the kitchen to find Jane in the living room. She was curled up at the corner of one couch, texting madly on her own phone.
“Hey. Put that down, I never get to see you!” Niall laughed, sitting on the other side of the couch and reaching over to snatch her phone. Before he could reach it, Jane slid it into the pocket of baggy pants and focused on her Dad. “How was school today?” It was cliché, but a father had to ask.
Jane just rolled her eyes and dramatically threw her head back. She, unlike a lot of Niall’s friend’s kids, always told him a full story. It was never just a simple ‘fine’ with Jane.
“Dylan got in a fight with Robbie McGuire again and every time this happens, I get called to the principal to, like, be advised to watch out for him, but I can’t tell Dylan what to do. He’s so stubborn like Mom and he’s grades above me. We’re not even in the same building!” Jane explained to her Dad just the way she would one of her girlfriends.
“Why is he getting in fights?” With his face scrunched up like a pug dog, Niall asked. It wasn’t a surprise to him, he knew his son had a chip on his shoulder, but Niall didn’t think that he was giving anyone, but his old man a hard time. He believed that his son was a happy kid when he wasn’t around him. “Your mum’s never mentioned that to me before.”
“Robbie makes fun of One Direction a lot and Dylan handles things with his fists.” Jane told Niall like he should have just known that. “I know he doesn’t act like it, but Dylan idolizes you so it really pisses him off when someone is making fun of you, ya know?” This was all news to Niall though and his face must have shown his surprise since Jane kept trying to explain what was going on to him. “Come on, Dad, he’s wanted to be you since, like, forever. You’re his hero that’s why he’s so mad at you. His hero disappointed him; his hero left our house…” Jane knew all about her brother’s issues with her dad, she had been in the room while they battled one another, throwing insults and shouting at the top of their lungs. Even at ten years old, she had full prospective. “He would kill Robbie McGuire just for singing a lyric of yours wrong.” She laughed, watching her dad’s face soften. He seemed to be sort of complimented by everything she was saying. “I see light bulb just went off in your head.”
“You’re really smart, you know that?” Finally, Niall spoke and reached over to squeeze his daughter’s shoulder.
“Yeah, I know. I don’t know who I get it from though. Not you.” She teased, sticking out her tongue playfully at her Dad. He was also her hero, but Jane just assumed he knew that already.
Zayn: After washing the dishes, Zayn walked through his very quiet apartment. It was always quiet since he didn’t have a noisy wife and little three girl running around all the time. However, he hadn’t expected his month with Vera to start off so quietly. After the incident at the park, Zayn was really looking forward to having a whole month with his angel. Even if he did have to work for some of it, he was happy to have her all to himself and he knew that she would be fine backstage when they had to go to a few dates. Lou had always taken great care of Vera backstage ever since she was born and he knew this would be no different. However, since he had picked Vera up from her grandma’s house at noon, the toddler was very quiet. While Zayn cooked dinner, she sat on the floor with their dog, Paolo, and colored (or scribbled) through the pages of her Jasmine and Aladdin coloring book. Zayn was singing, offering to let her stir the stirfry, and even trying to get her to dance around the kitchen with him, but Vera just shook her head and talked to herself as she colored. Zayn’s daughter always wanted to dance and sing and it struck him as severely odd that now she had no interest. He wondered if toddlers could be diagnosed with depression and if the divorce was having a huge effect on her personality already?
He walked to the makeshift room he had set up for her and watched in the doorway for a moment as she sat on the big girl bed with Paolo, giving him kisses only to have her entire face covered in slobber moments after. It made her fall over with laughter. Zayn couldn’t help, but laugh himself. Even if he wasn’t responsible for it, he loved seeing Vera happy and smiling. She was three and she should always be happy in his mind. “You ready for peejays?” He asked, expecting Vera to look right up at him, her eyes just as dark and deep as his. She didn’t look at him though; she just looked down at Paolo and began to pet him over and over. Zayn thought he may have caught her nodding ‘yes’, so he walked into the room and over to her ladybug suitcase to find the pajamas that she had come with. “What do you want to read before bed?” Zayn asked, rifling through Pull Ups, dolls, and small little girls clothes on a quest to find pajamas for her.
“Clifford.” Quietly, Vera mumbled. In her mind, Paolo was a big red dog. He was certainly a lot bigger than she was after all. “Mommy packed it.” Vera continued before talking to Paolo about something that Zayn couldn’t understand. Sometimes, he could swear that she was speaking her own made up language.
“I got it.” The flat paperback book had been on the very top of the rest of her packed things. Zayn looked behind his shoulder and waved it at her, desperate to earn the slightest smile out of her. Zayn recognized a small night shirt in the pile he had created, a little green dress that he had bought her when he was off performing in Brazil. He always tried to find something special for her from every place he went, but Zayn was also very careful not to spoil Vera. Only recently, Zayn had begun to worry that Vera might be influenced more and more by her mother and he really didn’t want to put a brat or diva out into the world. He stood up straight, his back cracking, and walked over to his little girl on the bed. “Arms up, V.” He smiled down at her and waited for her to comply. Usually she was excitable, but everything she did now seemed so demure and hesitant. It was very worrisome to Zayn, but he wasn’t sure how to bring it up in a way that a child of three would understand. He bent down at his knees, whistling for Paolo to leave the room, and started to help his little girl out of the cute little jumped and denim set she had been wearing all day.
“Daddy, why didn’t they let me come?” She asked, her little legs hanging over the bed as Zayn helped her out of the tiniest pair of jeans that could have ever been made. Zayn just looked up at her, her eyes searching his face like the answer to her question might have been written on it. “Mommy and her friends and Sterling went away without me. I’m lotsa fun.”
Zayn knew that was being serious, but he couldn’t help but be amused by how sweet she was.
“Well, your mum’s coming back. She just vent on a….Mommy vacation.” Zayn wasn’t thrilled about the whole thing himself, but he couldn’t let his daughter know that.
“You go away lots without me and now she is always with her friends and Sterling and they don’t want me around all the time. Am I not a fun friend, Daddy?” Vera asked with her arms up as Zayn pulled her night shirt over her underwear clad body.
“Oh, Vera, you’re very fun.” He looked at her, matching the distress on her face. He leaned in and kissed her nose before helping her off of the bed. “You’re my best friend, honey, and I always want you around no matter where I am in the world.” He hoped that would help her, that she would understand, but he never knew if Vera was old enough to know what he was trying to say. While Zayn loved Vera more than he ever imagined he could love anyone, he wasn’t always sure how to communicate with someone her age. “You know that nobody loves you more than I do, right, baby?” Silently, he prayed she did. He had been so hurt by how she ran to her mom’s new boyfriend at the park. It really ate away at him even though he knew she didn’t realize that her actions had any effect on anyone. Zayn trusted that his daughter wasn’t an evil little troll and didn’t mean to hurt him. Vera nodded her answer and lifted her arms up as a sign that she wanted to be lifted up by him. Happily, Zayn obliged. He bent at the knees and picked her up so she could fold her feet over his hip. He walked over to her suitcase to grab the book with his free hand and headed to the living room with her. He figured they could lie on the couch together with a blanket and work on her reading with a cup of warm milk. For Zayn, he thought that would be the perfect way to end his first day with his daughter in what felt like eons.
“Daddy, I love you.” Vera looked up at him and said once they were on the couch, her back flat against his chest and her toes just barely reaching his knees.
“I love you.” He smiled down at her before putting on his glasses in order to see the print on the book’s pages.
“Will you do the voices?” With hope, she asked.
“If you read some of it, yes.” He nodded, planting a kiss on the top of her head and then opening up the book. He blushed at the feeling of her little lips kissing the tip of his scruffy chin. Privately, Zayn hoped this was the start of things with him and Vera going back to normal. He could only wish for the rest of the month to feel as natural and joyful.
It was a popular request and I hope it was alright. Feedback is always nice. Requests are open.Thank you.