completely different to what i wanted to do

Creepypasta #1139: I Found New Life On The Deep Web

Length: Medium

Remember when deep web stories were the fad? Every week, you’d find a new tale of someone going too far on the deep web, finding something terrible, and ending up getting attacked for speaking out against it. This story’s a bit similar.

The difference is, I still love the deep web.

Let me explain. I was a senior in high school at the time, and I was definitely no popular kid. My friends were the oddities of the school, the few people who dared to defy the norm. It was them who told me about the deep web – a place on the internet where you are completely unwatched, anonymous, capable of doing whatever you want. Of course, I was intrigued. Most of my friends just used it to buy drugs, but I thought a little bigger. I wanted to know what happened in the darkest parts of the deep web, whether or not my friends were telling the truth when they talked about horrible fetish sites and assassins you can hire to kill anyone you like.

Of course, I wasn’t planning on using any of it. I’ve never been particularly interested in sex, so fetish sites don’t interest me, and there’s really nobody I’d like to kill. It was the mystery of it all that fascinated me.

At the time, I was tired of the monotony of life. I’d get up at the same time every day, go to school, attend the same classes, talk to the same people, go home, play some games, do homework, go to sleep, and then… it’d repeat. I wondered if other people got tired of that.

It took me a while to actually dive into the deep web. As fascinated as I was, I’d been warned of what could happen to me – I read the stories I talked about, too. Who isn’t afraid of being threatened by hackers, or stalked by some creep you piss off online? That kind of shit kept me from actually going on the deep web, until the day I manned up and decided it was time to break the monotony. It was time to delve into the underbelly of the Internet, time to see a world I had only dreamed off.

It was just drug sites, and stuff where people exposed government secrets, or whatever. Nothing as dark as I expected – I don’t even do drugs, so that was useless to me, and I wasn’t into politics. There wasn’t really much I was into back then. So, I was disappointed. The only reason I kept exploring was my sheer desire to experience the world I thought existed on the deep web. That world was darker than any drug site. That world had murder, torture, fucked up porn for fucked up people, and all sorts of nasty shit.

Just when my apathy towards the deep web got to its highest point, I found what I was looking for. The site didn’t have a name – I thought it was a broken link for a bit, since it only led me to a black screen. Right before I could click out, however, a chat box opened on the screen. Someone using the name ‘admin’ typed in the chat box, saying:

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I find it sooooo funny (aka annoying) that straight people will never truly understand the real goals of the gay community

Like they think all we want is to be treated like everyone else. To not be ostracized for being who we are. And they’re right.

But then they take this goal they think we have and somehow in their tiny Het brains it translates to “they want to be seen as straight people, they want to conform, they want gay to become a meaningless label”

So then ally culture becomes “I don’t see gay people as any different, I don’t care about sexuality, the only difference between us is who we love etc.”

And they completely miss the point that we loooove being gay. We love pride, we love talking about our sexuality and how it affects us (if we’re safe to do so) we love having a sense of community and belonging.

What’s gross about this mindset is it stems from the fact that straights cannot even fathom treating gay people like their equals without erasing our identity and forcing us to conform. “I don’t care about your sexuality, I still love you” is false allyship, and in the long term does more harm than good. What gay people truly want is “I see your sexuality, I recognize that your struggles and goals are different than mine, and I’m still going to treat you like a human and give you the rights you deserve”

If you can’t see me as your equal while also recognizing that I’m a lesbian, you are not an ally.

SKAM S04E05 Clip 4 - Humble

SANA: What are you doing?
MOM: Have you seen my green veil?
SANA: *Speaks Arabic*
MOM: Yeah..
SANA: Yes! Why?
MOM: Because I don’t know what you’re up to anymore.
SANA: I’m not up to anything!
MOM: You are out with all your friends and suddenly I see you outside with Yousef and then you don’t tell me anything. I’m worried, don’t you understand?
SANA: You talk about my friends like they’re criminals or something. It’s not like all non-muslims lie, drink and have lots of sex!
MOM: I know that, Sana.
SANA: Yeah, then why can’t you trust that I have friends who are good people?
MOM: I trust you, Sana, but I know lots of young people don’t follow the same rules as you. And you know that Norwegian society have lots of customs that don’t fit us.
SANA: There are lots of things in Islam that doesn’t fit me either! Like its view of homosexuality or why does Islam say that muslim men can marry non-religious women, but muslim women can’t. Isn’t that a bit sexist? At least in the society we live in and when Islam says the Quran can adapt to every society you live in…?
MOM: Where is this coming from?
SANA: I’m just asking! Aren’t you allowed to ask?
MOM: Yes, you’re allowed to ask. You’re allowed to ask.
SANA: But what? You don’t have any answers?
MOM: I’m just worried about you, Sana. I don’t want you to get hurt.
SANA: I won’t get hurt!
ELIAS: *Speaks in Arabic*
SANA: *Answers in Arabic*
ELIAS: I heard. What were you doing with Yousef the other day?
SANA: With Yousef?
ELIAS: Yeah, mom told me she saw you together.
SANA: Oh, yeah. He just walked me home from Noora’s.
ELIAS: You like him!
SANA: Huh? No!
ELIAS: Yousef is a nice guy.
SANA: It’s just that he’s not a muslim.
ELIAS: Yousef is the most muslim guy I know. He doesn’t drink, he’s always respectful to everyone.
SANA: Yeah, but he doesn’t believe in Allah.
ELIAS: Doesn’t believe in Allah.. Do you know how many people I know who say they believe in Allah? But they still drink, steal and vandalize. What’s more important? Saying you believe in Allah or live like you believe in Allah? The most important thing to me at least, is that my sister is doing well with a good guy and.. not only goes to the Mosque.
SANA: I don’t think mom agrees.
ELIAS: You know mom just wants what’s best for us. It’s just that she was born in a completely different country in a completely different time, so she doesn’t know what it’s like to be us. You have to stop having such a sad face. Because when you’re sad, I’m sad too.
SANA: I’m not sad.
ELIAS: That’s good.
SANA: There’s a party at Løkka* tomorrow. If you want to come.
ELIAS: With your friends? Those who were at the flat the other day?
SANA: Mhm.
ELIAS: Fun! Fun. Yeah, of course we’ll come.
SANA: Bring Yousef!
ELIAS: Yeah, I’ll do that

Here’s the full transcript of Mark talking Darkiplier in the livestream

(Time approx. 3 hours, 52 minutes to 4 hours, 4 minutes into the stream. And, yes, this took forever). Thought you’d like this, maybe.

I’ve bolded stuff I find especially interesting.

~~~~~~~

Mark: Long ago, a long time ago, I liked to do these scary edits because I just felt like doing scary edits and this is how Darkiplier got born. And then what happened was over time Darkiplier became less and less about the scary figure and more about this romantic figure, and it always rubbed me the wrong way. And I kind of shied away from Darkiplier for a while. And I really really really- if I was going to bring Darkiplier, and when we thought about this, we thought, okay there should be a Darkiplier route. And that was there from the beginning, and so when I wanted to do it I wanted to do it my way, and I wanted to do it right, and I wanted to have this unending level of creepiness. And at the same time, I didn’t want to step on the toes of Antisepticeye because I know there’s a big fan base of that, and I didn’t want to get in the way of that at all and I really don’t care that there’s more than one dark personalities of people. But when I saw the opportunity to have this character here, I spent like 8 hours editing this, like just meticulously every single RBG. This is a layer, we green screened this one, I color corrected it, I separated the RBG layers I added the shakes and glitchiness every frame. I worked on the voice, too. The voice took me the longest to figure out. Like the shakes! And my computer was dying this whole time cause I put my effects on here.

Tyler: The amount of time you had to spend rendering this.

Mark: And so, the audio’s actually three separate layers. It would have been two, but Kathryn helped me out on that one to make it more clear. It’s a normal pitched layer that’s edited, echoed, reverbed, mastered, and convoluted which means it’s just thrown off to the left and right, and then it’s a deep layer of that. But then to make it really come together- it didn’t live without this center channel that wasn’t convoluted but was centered. But getting that voice right was so pinnacle, so paramount to what I wanted to come out of this. And we did like thirty minutes of shooting various versions of me talking to the camera and I wanted to pick the exact dialogue that really kind of gave away my idea of what Dark is in not a terribly obvious way.

Tyler: The other thing, this was supposed to all be one video.

Mark: But YouTube annotations, this new version doesn’t allow you to link the same video multiple times, so these are literally the old videos that I first did when Darkiplier first came about, like, these are the ones, especially this one here, and then this is my cheap knockoff Darkiplier.

Amy: Canon Darkiplier.

Mark: Canon Darkiplier. And I’m going to readily admit something. I joked about Darkiplier because it didn’t seem like something people wanted to take seriously, and I’m okay with that on certain aspects but it had diverged into multiple different facets and multiple different personalities, and everyone had their own version of Darkiplier, and I thought it was hilarious that, “Hey, here’s my version of Darkiplier, and he’s an idiot.” Like, he’s just this weird emo kid. And then I stepped back from that, like, I stepped back. And you can even- in that time, when I was doing those videos, in this era, I was not very happy. I was kind of… I was pessimistic about a lot of things. And I felt like that bled through in a lot of things I did. And that’s why even October of last year I literally made Darkiplier an emo character. And then when we were getting to this, I thought about it like very carefully and I thought back to why I did it originally, and I did it originally because, well, Darkiplier wasn’t even a thing. Darkiplier was not a thing when I was making those videos. I just wanted to make some creepy stuff. And then I thought about that, and I was like if I want to make a statement about who this is, I need to own that and I need to put something out there that is not ambiguous, because I realize that’s where I went wrong. I didn’t have a solid character so obviously, people would come up with their own versions, they would fill in the gaps where they saw fit. So, when I made this I had to embrace it fully and fine-tune it down to exactly where I wanted. When you choose the “fake” choice carrying through to this one, I really wanted that to come through, except at the end to this video, where it gets silly, but that’s because the real me comes in and the real me’s an idiot. And I’ve actually watched this over and over again because I’m listening to the takes I put in here and I’m listening to my inflection and my tone, my demeanor and I’m imagining like how to refine it better next time when I bring him back, like how to do it better.

Tyler: I remember now, I set up the table.

Mark: Yeah, you did. You set up the table we had to change it out for clear glasses because the green screen was reflecting through. But yeah, even this, like the intersplices of anger, and this is me getting real deep in the meta of Darkiplier, like if that’s even a thing that can be- let me just pause it here. I don’t read too much into this but if there’s something that I want to take seriously, I want to actually do right. So, in my mind, Darkiplier is an entirely different person from me. But, much like Warfstache, doesn’t obey the laws of physics. He exists in another world entirely and bleeds through into this one. This is sounding really nerdy of me.

Tyler: I remember the Warfstache talk.

Mark: So Completely unironically, Darkiplier is a completely separate entity from who I am. But, he admires what I’ve accomplished, and he’s very much… people picked up on this, and people thought it was really creepy, because it’s what I wanted. He’s a social manipulator. He is literally, 100% manipulative. He leads you into this false sense of security, and he wants you to trust him because he wants to take advantage of you. That is literally what I wanted for Darkiplier. And how creepy and scary that actually is from the surface. Especially in this first bit, where he says, “If dinner is what you want, then I can provide.” And I wanted this to come across in a seductive way while also masking, like, this burning rage inside that breaks through the suave nature of it. That was my clue to reveal he’s not your friend. He’s not here to help you. He’s here to use you. And that also came across when I was thinking about, like, the effects. Like, his image shatters, he separates because he’s not entirely kept together, you know what I mean? So, I wanted like the drastic impacts of the rage pulling back suddenly to the calm nature and the demeanor and this last one, I was thinking was especially telling. It’s not me trying to break through, it’s his shell cracking.

Kathryn: I love that.

Mark: Yeah? It’s my favorite of all of them.

Kathryn: That’s one’s my favorite. I have legitimately just gone and watched that bit.

Mark: Yeah?

Kathryn: It’s really good.

Mark: Oh, thank you.

Kathryn: I really like that.

Mark: Yeah. And number 1 the visuals work hard on this one, but nailing the audio- that high-pitched ringing that a lot of people were like wow that really hurts my ears, that was by design. That was supposed to hurt because listening to him- a lot if inspiration for him comes from G-man from Half-life 2 and 1, like this weird interdimensional person that seems human but is obviously not and doesn’t obey the laws of physics, and is just like this shell of a person that’s in a suit. Not a suit, literally a human suit, and is trying to figure out how to puppet it right that you believe him, but he’s really good at it. And that’s where the scariness of Darkiplier, I think, really comes from, is because he seems like someone you can trust, and he will manipulate you, and take advantage of you, and literally use you, and to me that’s terrifying. Like that’s the antithesis of what I want to be and so if I’m going to make an opposite version of me, he’s gonna be the fucking worst. Like worse than any romantic story can ever bring about. He’s fucking awful.

Amy: It was convenient, though, I like the way it goes from Relax to this, like the video “Relax,” because then people were not expecting this. But it’s so nice to have it on Valentine’s Day. It works so well.

Mark: And then came the bullshit transition that we had to do. So, this is comical in a way.

Amy: It doesn’t drag it though.

Mark: Yeah it doesn’t drag. You get the scary. Tyler’s here-

Tyler: In Mark’s suit, which I have fit in, but not the pants.

Mark: He didn’t fit, we forgot to get a tie, like, we printed out a mask, and I looked at this and was like I could try to make this creepy, and then I went, I objectively can’t. Let me throw in some punch sound effects.

Tyler: I have to make sure, cause-

Mark: He couldn’t see shoot.

Tyler: No, I couldn’t, and I had to keep moving the mask cause there was one time we did this that the mask ended up completely on the side of my head and I was just like, hey Mark, you can’t touch my face.

Amy: The convenient thing about this, though, with all the glitches is that you can hide stuff with it.

Tyler: Yeah, and there’s a reason I never let go of Mark I have no clue where anything is.

Mark: Yeah, oh man. Oh, this, oh my god. Oh, and secret Easter egg- you know who Dark is because he doesn’t have a shadow. Totally intentional and by design.

Amy: His toes are missing too, but.

Mark: Shh he doesn’t have toes he’s so scary.

~~~~~~

.

3

WHAT I WILL NOT DRAW:

  • nsfw
  • nudity
  • complicated designs
  • mecha
  • heavy gore
  • armor

WHAT I CAN DRAW:

  • oc’s
  • characters from different fandoms
  • ships(unless it makes me uncomfortable)
  • etc

ADDITIONAL STUFF:

  • when you send me an email about a commission you want please elaborate completely!
  • additional characters will be an additional $2 !!
  • i can’t do invoices sorry :”U
  • i will only accept payment from paypal

if you have any questions feel free to drop an ask!

contact me at scribsvee@gmail.com(note tht this is not the paypal address, just somewhere we can discuss about the commission)

paypal address is  jremonde2000@yahoo.com

tysm for reading!! tips for commissions are always appreciated!

The possibility of Otayuri becoming canon

So in this post-Welcome to the Madness daze and with the information that has been released today, I would like to do some speculation about the character dynamic between Yurio and Otabek and the possible implications for this ship to become canon. I have already written a bit about this in a comment to another post here, but I would like to elaborate.

Again, this is just me throwing around ideas, with a good dose of wishful thinking.

-          Otabek enters the story quite late as a character. He is there from the beginning but we only get to see him interact with the others from episode 10 onwards. The focal point becomes what his relation is to Yuri. He whisks him away on his motorcycle, takes him to one of the most beautiful vistas in the city and then casually drops how he has admired him for the past five years. Then he offers Yuri his friendship, which has apparently never occurred in Yuri’s life before, they go for a coffee and Mari is stunned to see Yuri normally interact with another human being for a change. It’s up to you to ignore any fond gazes during this scene. What’s worth mentioning is that Yuri seems kind of perplexed by this whole thing. The “eyes of a soldier” line gets to him, because it is probably the first time someone sees him for who he wants to be.

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Billboard: Niall Horan Braces for Stardom Outside One Direction, With Advice From Justin Bieber & The Eagles

When Niall Horan decided to move from London to Los Angeles in early 2016, it’s no surprise that he chose a house in Laurel Canyon, the epicenter of ’60s folk-rock culture. Horan was the one ­toting a guitar in One Direction, the British boy-band juggernaut that was just then going on a hiatus, and he’s got the soul of a singer-songwriter: He’s charismatic, witty and sensitive, but also easygoing and no-nonsense. Viewed alongside his bandmates – born rock star Harry Styles, “sensible one” Liam Payne, “funny one” Louis Tomlinson, moody R&B prince Zayn Malik – Horan, 23, is sort of like the middle brother: the most ­approachably handsome, the second-most popular across social media (29 million Twitter followers; 19 million on Instagram) and the most likely to lust after a gig at the historic Los Angeles rock club The Troubadour. “Playing for, like, 500 people. What more do you want?” says Horan. “I’ve had some good moments with screaming ­teenagers, but I like when the room is completely dead. It’s a ­different kind of respect. People are actually listening.”

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heartbreak chronicles {2} | M

PT 1 | PT 2 ONGOING

Contains: smut, sexting {fuckboy!jimin}

Words: 5,764

Summary: Park Jimin had it all — good grades, a place as the soccer team’s captain and, more than that, the broken hearts of at least half the campus’ population. Though, one thing he did not have was someone willing to break his heart and, after you were dragged inside a miraculous plan to play that part, the last thing counted on was the preposterous idea that, perhaps, you could fall for him as well.

[img cr]

A/N: Can you believe that I managed to come up with a quick update? Me neither.

Monotone, drowning in tedium — that was how your first Monday class begun. Somewhere deep inside your mind, you could hear your teacher going on about an empty subject, filling the air inside the classroom with disconex sentences and incomprehensible claims; your own perception far beyond the yellowed walls of that room. Perhaps, sitting on the last row was not helping your lack of focus; but, much to your personal bliss, Jennie was right next to you, taking the notes you would make sure to use later.

In all honesty, your mind was in the same location as before: the party. Equivalent to what unfolded during the weekend, the story repeated itself amidst your tired daydreams; dragging your consciousness towards the bubbling, divergent feelings inside your chest. Unlike what you first expected, the anguish and guilt of your acts did not last longer than the ride back to your dorm, instead morphing into a sense of curiosity. After all, there were so many details that you waited to be presented with — the second step, the collateral damage it would have on your friendship and, more than anything, Jimin’s reaction.

You just did not expect it would come that instant.

The cloudy preoccupations of your chaotic thoughts dissipated as a light buzz sounded below you, your phone lighting up with a new notification. With a frown, you stared down at the illuminated screen, eyes falling to the white text.

The second you read it, your heart skipped a beat.

[10:22] Jimin: we need to talk

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i’m so excited i could cry like what is the album gonna be called????????? how many songs is it gonna be??????? what is it gonna sound like??????? is it completely different like did he want to explore a whole new genre????? is it going to be more than one genre???? are they gonna be more upbeat or more slow?????? is he gonna do some more falsettos like in home????? what’s the album cover art gonna be????? what’s his name gonna look like on it?????? WHAT ARE THE LYRICS GONNA BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IS HE GONNA RIP MY HEART RIGHT OUTTA MY GODDAMN CHEST

What the Signs Need to Hear

Aries: That single homework assignment you forgot to turn in? Those tests you just couldn’t seem to pass? You’ll wake up 10 years from now and wonder why you ever even worried in the first place

Taurus: Of course it’s ok to be cheerful, to smile, to pretend that everything’s fine. But it’s also ok to break down, to cry, to feel inadequate because that only reminds us of our humanity

Gemini: It’s ok to compromise, but only do it when you can. If you believe in something, stand by it! Somewhere along the way you’ll discover someone who’s on the same boat

Cancer: Don’t worry so much about finding yourself so quickly, one day you’ll eventually realize who you really are and come to appreciate yourself as much as I do

Leo: Insecurities, no matter how much others try to trivialize them, always affect us in a big way don’t they? But even with all of them, I wouldn’t consider you any less of a person

Virgo: Never settle for what could have been, you’re worth more than second place

Libra: Although it’s ok to listen to others, always know yourself first. What you want to become and what other people want you to become are two completely different realities

Scorpio: If you don’t succeed now, succeed later. Try again. There’s no shame in that, and I believe in you more than you’ll ever care to know

Sagittarius: Don’t feel like there’s too much to do and not enough time to do it. Catch your breath. It may not look it but it’s going to be alright

Capricorn: It’s not always about numbers and deadlines and quantifiable competence. Stripped of these things you still matter, you are valued, and you are loved

Aquarius: Let your ideas flourish, don’t keep it all to yourself. Sure, there will always be people who don’t care, but your voice matters, and anyone who says it doesn’t is dead wrong, make some noise

Pisces: Stop feeling sorry for things that were never your fault, and apologizing for problems that you never caused, the things that you’ve had to go through are not always who you are

Look at your Sun 🌞and Moon 🌑

doing this can be hard on it’s own without things like depression, anxiety, etc. weighing you down so some of these tips will be general and others more specific to certain disorders or situations.


staying focused:

easier for some than others, depending on your particular illness. these tips will remain a little vague but take them at the intensity you need.

  • have a routine
    • it doesn’t have to be followed perfectly each and every day and it doesn’t have to be a super detailed plan either. write down somewhere (word document, sheet of loose leaf) what you want your days to look like. for example, on thursdays i only have one class and it’s later in the day so i will plan to wake up at ___ and do ____ until my class starts then, after class, i will ___… so on and so forth. once you get into the swing of things, it will be a lot easier to stay on track.
  • sticky notes, everywhere
    • if you can never seem to remember what you have due next week or what you’re supposed to be doing that very second, write it down on a post it and stick it somewhere you’ll see it often. 
  • make a weekly/daily study schedule
    • sit down at your laptop or take out a sheet of paper and schedule out when you want to start completing what assignment. it’s easier to do things when you have a set idea on what you’re actually going to be doing day to day. this is different from planning a routine. a routine will say “start studying at 9 a.m.” but your study plan will say “study history/math/etc.” i usually set up a small week calendar and do bullet points with what i have start doing on what day and when that’s due.
  • let your friends know when you have something you’re supposed to be doing.
    • if you try to make plans or try spending the day on your phone, it’s good to have someone who will catch you and remind you that, “hey, aren’t you supposed to be doing ___ right now?”
  • go to a quiet study environment
    • this could be the library, a café, anywhere really that you find to be designated for studying when you bring your stuff with you. give yourself no other option other than doing what you’re supposed to be doing.
  • make a study playlist
    • find music that pumps you up or keeps you relaxed and ready to study. there’s also a lot of different apps you can try for background noise if you don’t want to listen to music.
  • try different techniques
    • if you find it helpful to use a pomodoro timer so you stay more on track, do it! do some research into other study techniques that you might not know much about and test them out during a relaxed study session. 

staying motivated:

  • have purpose
    • this one is tough for those who have trouble seeing or wanting a future for themselves. for you, i’d say have the mindset of wanting to do something not because your studies will take you to, say, your dream career but they’ll put you in a better position once you get to your future. it seems unsure and unstable but focusing on something that could propel you forward can really do some good. 
  • work with friends!
    • having someone motivated around can certainly rub off on you. take a dedicated friend with you to the library to help you and keep you motivated when you start slacking off or feeling like you’re “done with your work.” if you have no one to go with, again going to a study environment like the library can be quite motivating on it’s own. try setting a timer for the minimum time you have to stay and challenge yourself to stay past the time.
  • reward yourself
    • work can be tough and exhausting, make sure at the end of the day you do something nice for yourself. this can motivate you to push yourself during your studies to get this reward. it’s easy to say “well, i sort of did something today so i should get something” but you have to get around that and know that if you’re doing it all the time even when you don’t do the work, it’s no longer a reward. try choosing something you wouldn’t have on hand like starbucks or a visit to your favorite store. 
  • make it into a game
    • similar to rewarding yourself, try doing this to make things more entertaining. like timing yourself in the library, see how long you can stay (within a reasonable amount) and how much you can get done. do flashcards with a friend in the same class as you and turn it into a trivia game to see who can get the most right. you might as well make it fun if you can!

remember to always keep your mental health and yourself in mind before all else. school can wait so make sure you’re taking care of yourself but any assignment or any course. also, talk to the disability services at your school and see what they can do for you. best of luck!

7

So, long ago and far away, I’d read this excellent GF/RnM fic that inspired me so much that I wanted to draw sequentials for it. Unfortunately the author is rather busy and may have lost interest in completing their fics, leaving me wondering if it’s worth it to finish drawing the rest, or if I should just repurpose the pages I’ve completed for an entirely new story instead? I’ve no idea what the original author wanted to do with their story – make it a ship fic (which would be a-okay by me!), or scrap it and adhere to Journal 3 canon (not necessary if it’s an AU, imo), or, who knows…! 

That said, the artwork is still mine, and I can tweak it for small changes if I decide to continue the story as a completely different, separate narrative altogether. 

O peanut gallery, lend me thy thoughts! What should I do with this?

Cassian Andor: A Character Analysis

Before I begin, I would like to make 2 things perfectly clear:
1.  I am not a therapist or anything like that. I am just stating my opinions/observations/assumptions. None of which need be taken seriously. 
2.  Here there be spoilers.
Now, let’s get started, shall we?

Who he is:

Originally posted by enalgunlugar

Cassian Jeron Andor is a loner; he has maybe one friend at the start of the movie. He is quiet; he rarely says more than needs to be said at any given moment. Both of these traits stem from one: practicality. Cassian is an unbelievably practical man. He doesn’t bother with friends because he doesn’t see the point. He doesn’t get very emotional (even though he does have emotions) because what would that accomplish? He’s a no-nonsense, get-in, get-out, focus-on-the-mission kind of guy. This is likely a result of his childhood (or lack thereof), but it is also not a bad thing. It’s simply the way he operates.

What he is:

Originally posted by fuckyeahrebelcaptain

Loyal. To a fault. Once he decides on a path (or a person), he will not leave it. A long time ago, he chose to align with the Rebellion. And so a rebel he is, and a rebel he will stay. Even when being such requires him to do things he doesn’t want to do. Which brings us to…

How he feels (at the beginning of Rogue One):

Originally posted by krasnaya-ledi

When we first meet Cassian, he is burnt out. He is still a good spy, soldier, captain, ect., but he lacks conviction. He doesn’t fight because he wants to, but because he thinks he has to. To put it bluntly, he’s in a dysfunctional relationship with the Rebellion. (Odd way to describe it, yes, but I’ve been in a relationship like this before. Please bear with me while I explain.) He gives everything to the rebel cause: his time, his skills, his opinions, and, most importantly, his morals. He lies, steals, kills, and/or lets die, if the mission requires it. All the while, he tells himself that it’s not really wrong, because he’s not doing it for himself. He’s doing it for something he cares about- the Rebellion. This does not make his actions right, of course- murder is murder, no matter the reasons behind it. And Cassian feels this, even if he doesn’t admit it. Saying anything he does is wrong is the same as saying the Rebellion is wrong, and that completely contradicts his “Rebellion = Good” mindset, so he pushes his guilt away. He stuffs his opinions, and, at times, gets angry at himself for having them at all. As Chirrut puts it, he is in a prison of his own making. But fortunately for him (and all of us RebelCaptain shippers), he meets Jyn.

What Jyn means (to Cassian):

At first, Cassian thinks Jyn Erso is nothing but trouble. She is reckless, unpredictable, and selfish. In other words, she does what she wants, when she wants. And that is a very big problem to Cassian, who never does what he really wants to do, deep down inside. But as he soon learns on Jedha, what Jyn wants to do is pretty… great. He witnesses firsthand her kindness, bravery, and selflessness as she risks her life for random kids, risks her safety for his own, and risks getting shot for his only friend, a snarky droid. And she didn’t do any of it because she was told to, or because of the mission. She did it only because she wanted to. This awakens something in Cassian. Call it jealously, if you like. He wants what she has- the freedom to do the right thing, even if it means disobeying orders, even if he doesn’t have permission, even if it’s not practical. He wants to be free to choose. In his mind, Jyn quickly changes from a troublemaker to the embodiment of his trapped morality. And that’s when the real fun begins.  

What he’s going through:

Originally posted by tfa

So, as stated above, Cassian is devoted to the Rebel cause. But as the movie progresses, he starts to feel a kind of loyalty to the cause that is Jyn. Unfortunately, these two causes don’t mix well. The Rebellion doesn’t need Jyn after Jedha, and Jyn doesn’t want any part in the Rebellion. And then there’s that whole issue of him being on a mission to assassinate Jyn’s father, who may or may not be a rebel in his own right. Cassian is a good soldier; he follows orders without question. Right now his orders are to kill Galen Erso. But his instincts (and Jyn, and Bodhi, and Chirrut) tell him that his orders are wrong. His interests are divided, his thoughts conflicted, and thus he becomes more and more frustrated. On Edu, he lashes out at everyone around him. But he’s not mad at them- he’s mad at himself for questioning the Rebellion, and he’s mad at the Rebellion for asking so much of him. 

What he does about it:

Originally posted by diegolunadaily

He doesn’t take the shot, obviously. And it’s easy to say, “He didn’t kill Galen because he cares about Jyn” or “He couldn’t pull the trigger because it didn’t feel right”. Both statements would be true. But there’s so much more to it than that. By choosing not to shoot Galen, Cassian finally admits that the Rebellion doesn’t necessarily dictate right and wrong in the Galaxy. He finally allows himself to see the flaws in his “the Rebel cause is always good and perfect” ideology. Finally, for the first time, he goes against direct orders and does what he wants, because he knows it’s the right thing to do. That’s why he looks so distressed on that ridge: he’s just busted through a huge barrier in his subconscious. And you know what? It feels like crap.

What changes:

Originally posted by forcewakens

At first, it seems like nothing is different. Even without his help, the mission is completed. Galen still ends up dead. Jyn still ends up angry with him. And when they fight, he defends himself, although every one of Jyn’s accusations are true. Even (dare I say especially) her Stormtrooper comment. In this one line, she has him pegged. Cassian refuses to admit it right away, but he is very much aware and ashamed of this fact. He is also aware that the Rebellion will never green-light a mission to Scarif with the evidence they currently possess. Thus, he finds himself at a fork in his road: Does he continue submitting to the Alliance, to his commanding officers, to his cause, even if their next decision will be the wrong one? Or does he follow Jyn into what he knows, in his heart, will be the best hope for the Galaxy? Thank the writers, he chose the latter.

What comes next:

Originally posted by rebelcaptained

I see a lot of posts talking about the times Cassian came back to Jyn. But what a lot of people (including myself) fail to notice right away is the most important time- the time he stands in front of her and so many others and says, “I believe you.” All the other times are vital (life-saving, in fact), but this time, it’s different. He isn’t acting on instinct; he isn’t rescuing her; he isn’t making excuses. He is making a conscious, life-altering choice to break free from the Rebellion, from the only life he’s ever known, and take up her cause. Finally, he frees himself from his prison and does what he wants. And the irony is that siding with Jyn is not just the right choice, but the practical and loyal one, as well.

How he feels (at the end of Rogue One):

Originally posted by swr-girl

Content. Yes, yes, I know there’s more going on than that. There’s also sorrow and regret and fear and pain and longing. But Cassian Jeron Andor, the Good Soldier, the Selfless Spy, the Rebel Captain, must’ve imagined he’d die at the hands of the Empire. And he likely begged the Universe more than once to let his death be quick, and let it mean something. Well, folks, now, on the beach of Scarif, it’s his time to go. He knows these are his last moments. He knows, too, that he’s done more for the Rebellion on this day than he had in the 20 years previous. He knows he’s completed his mission; he knows he’s given Jyn what she needed; he knows he’s made the right choice, and that it was his choice alone. He knows he’s dying for the cause he lived for. And above all that, he knows he isn’t dying alone. 

It’s probably not the end he’d asked for; it’s more. 

What is a magic system?

When writing speculative fiction, one of the writer’s most important jobs is to establish the new rules for their world. In many branches of speculative fiction, especially fantasy and even horror, this is magic, though it can also be technology and alternate scientific rules for science fiction. Whatever alternate fact(s) or reality you utilize to make your fictional world possible, that qualifies as a “magic system.” Your magic system is most often defined by what it can’t do rather than by what it can.

Why do I need a magic system?

When writing speculative fiction, it’s usually assumed that something about your world is different than ours. That can be a small tweak or it can be a complete dismantle-and-reassembly of physics as we understand it. Whatever system you choose to implement, it needs to have internally consistent rules. If, throughout the course of your book, magics begin to contradict each other, then it will disturb your readers suspension of disbelief. You don’t want your awesome magic to yank your readers from the believability of the story. But…most important of all…you have to establish some sort of rules and limits in order to prevent yourself from pulling a deus ex machina. No one likes a poorly executed deus ex machina. Few people like a well executed one (is there such a thing?). If you have rules, limits, cost, built into the magic or technology of your world, then you establish something that is not only nuanced and interesting, but believable.

But…but…it’s magic!!!

Why write speculative fiction if I have to create and follow all of these tedious rules?! The real world has rules enough.

It’s true. But following your own rules and following real worlds aren’t the same thing. Lots of you have probably heard the little saying, “Give your world a Flux Capacitor.” If you think about it, Back to the Future’s Flux Capacitor doesn’t make a lot of sense. It’s not explained. But we accept it because it’s magic. And when Doc says, “Here’s this thing. It makes time travel possible.” We accept it because it’s a simple alteration. He doesn’t try to use it to do more than what is initially established. It never breaks that rule. It’s not used to get Marty out of an impossible situation, defying any previous understanding of the technology. That’s why it works.

So where you do start?

First, you need to probably choose what type of magic you will use. Will be elements based? Or energy based? Spirit? Physical? Time and Space? What things is your magic summoning/manipulating/drawing from?

Now you’ll want to focus on the parts that make your magic yours. Sure, elemental magic has been used half a zillion times, but it can still be interesting if you do something new with it. The best way to do something new is to alter its limits, change the cost, give it a new spin that makes your regular ol’ fire magic something intriguing.

You can do a little bit of research into ancient forms of magic, into other literary uses of magic. See what those before you have done and use it as an inspiration.

If you’re having trouble knowing where to start, I’m here to provide you some thoughts concerning the skeletal-assembly of your magic system! Use these prompts as you see fit!

What does magic use/alter/manipulate?

  • visible energies
  • gravity
  • laws of physics
  • light
  • thought
  • water, only, in all of its forms
  • fabric of space
  • elementary particles
  • items of specific color or texture
  • perception
  • plant life
  • the dead
  • blood
  • magnetic forces
  • demons
  • vibrations
  • earth
  • emotions

Who possesses magic?

  • scholars
  • children
  • random lucky people
  • anyone
  • everyone
  • the elderly
  • anyone who’s ever petted a dog
  • specific animals
  • deities

How is it acquired?

  • at birth
  • intense study and training
  • gifted
  • through random action
  • through a ritual
  • as one ages
  • stolen

From where is power drawn?

  • internal mana
  • heat energy
  • alignment of the stars
  • physical contact with _____ (the earth, another life force, a drawing or rune)
  • kinetic or potential energy
  • the moon(s)
  • other realms
  • movement of tectonic plates
  • spiritual energy of those nearby
  • consumption of specific foods/drinks/elements

Check out the rest of the Brainstorming Series!
Magic Systems, Part Two
New Species
New Worlds
Cultures
Civilizations
Map Making

Politics and Government
Belief Systems & Religion
Guilds, Factions, & Groups
War & Conflict
Science & Technology

[TRANS] 2017 BTS LIVE TRILOGY EPISODE III THE WINGS TOUR (Program Book - Yoongi)

Q: Difference between 화양연화 and Wings.
YG: 화양연화 is about the pain of youth while Wings is about the temptation of youth.

Q: Upon formally starting the activities for your 2nd full album “Wings,” what is your newly formed goal?
YG: I want to complete the Wings tour in my best possible condition.

Q: What would you do if you have wings?
YG: I might not fly to any place.

Q: What did you prepare special for ‘2017 BTS Live Trilogy Episode III The Wings Tour?’
YG: To manage my condition, I have been taking health supplements and in order maintain my physical strength, I have been exercising.

Q: With Episode I, II until Episode III, what are the changes that happened since then?
YG: From the group, regardless on how it was done, we have performed for many of times so our teamwork has gotten better. From myself, since there have been a lot of performances I have become more sophisticated.

Q: In your tour, where do you want to go again and what food do you want to eat?
YG: I only have happy memories with the cities and countries we’ve been to, so I’m looking forward to each city that we’ll be going to in this world tour.

Q: What do you want to say to yourself and BTS who are preparing for the concert?
YG: Do not think about anything, just enjoy it.

Q: If I was an ARMY, I want to __ at the concert.
YG: Sing (with BTS).

Q: To express your feelings for the upcoming ‘world tour,’ make a 2-lined acrostic poem using it.
YG: win - wings tour is
gs - a concert that we can enjoy

Q: A word to ARMYs who have given BTS wings?
YG: I will live with the wings you gave us, and will fly in the direction of getting higher and farther away**. Thank you everyone.

** = expanding himself
cr. BONBONNIERE时差站
trans. by maeli (@xingyoon)

Jungkook Ship Fic Rec 2

Since so many of you asked me for another Kook ship fic rec, here I am! All smut will be bottom Jungkook as always. I’ve gotta admit, it’s really hard to find recently but I’ll pull up as many as I can because I know the feeling of wanting more bottom kook but finding none haha. These will be separated by ship! Oh my god it was so hard to find anything for jikook OTL well to be honest, I don’t know why it was so difficult to find fics this time.

Taekook

Resonance AO3, Oneshot, I already know it’s good because it’s by Rix. AND IT’S SOUL EATER AU. I NEVER THOUGHT I’D SEE THIS BUT YASSSS. This is actually one of the hottest things I’ve read in awhile. Like O_O wow.

I Just Had Sex (ft. Jungkook) AO3, Oneshot, first time bottoming and Tae is kind of angry because Kook almost missed his bday but things work out. 

Sugar and Spice AO3, Oneshot, Daddy Kink but the love is sooooo real, soft affectionate Kook (I honestly can’t tell who actually has the power anymore between these two). 

Night Winds AO3, Oneshot, Alpha Tae and Beta Kook, they could never work out but they did. 

Suit and Tie AO3, Complete, I’m still not over how good this is, the power struggle of two hot CEO’s, and then the budding cuteness.

I Can Make You (Cry For Me) and Empty Spaces Don’t Talk About It AO3, Complete, Taekookseok with taekook end game, there’s junghope but it’s not as present as Taekook, the second part is ANGST GALORE but it ends well.

Fuck the Rules AFF, Oneshot, Taekook think the new PDA rules are stupid, it’s not exhibitionism in case you were wondering lol.

I’ll be a man (of you, you, you babe) AO3, Oneshot, Tae always bails Kook out of arranged dates.

After School AO3, Oneshot, canon compliant with Tae at the dorm and Kook at school, this is actually kinda cute at the end lol.

Topsy-Turvy AO3, Ongoing, hate to love, stepbrother au.

The Smell of Peaches AO3, Ongoing, THIS IS SO FREAKING GOOD, abo au, taekook are ex’s but Kook gets his heat and they become friends with benefits but with hidden feelings, and oh my god the angst and smut is A++++++. This is my current obsession lol.

Jikook

it must be fate (or you’re stalking me, who knows) AO3, Oneshot, this was actually quite cute, Jimin is the definition of cutie in the streets and senpai in the sheets (lol I love that tag)

Restrictions and Rewards AO3, Oneshot, Kookie needs the proper motivation. 

See Through (If You Will) AO3, Complete, Mpreg Kook, hurt/comfort, I love the hurt.

Will You Stop Time AO3, Oneshot, Jungkook loved Jimin even if he pushed him away (but he always apologizes at night), the feels were real.

Bloom AO3, Oneshot, First Times, a little bit of angst.

No Strings Attached  AO3, Complete, recently finished camboy Kook au and wow was it good, go read it you won’t regret it. 

In Your Eyes (I’m the Best/I’m the Worst) AO3, Oneshot, fair warning this may or may not be your cup of tea, it’s humiliation kink well more like Jimin legit gets angry at Kook for being a brat all the time and insults him but Kook likes it (?), if you don’t like this kind of stuff, don’t read it. 

power struggle AO3, Oneshot, Omega Kook and Alpha Jimin, i really really love the jealous hurt/comfort.

Becoming Bad AFF, Ongoing, Subscribers Only, Jimin the bad boy taints Innocent Jungkook.

Don’t Hesitate Any Longer AO3, Oneshot, Adult Ceremony dance practice into something more, hyung kink. 

Every Morning (and Night) is Perfect With You That Christmas Evening Eros and Perfectly Imperfect AO3, Oneshot, yes shameless self-promotion but all of them are legit just bottom kook smut with feelings and tiny bit of plot.

Animal House AFF, Ongoing, Members-Only, Jungkook is the bunny cop that meets Fox Jimin, they room together and feelings develop but there’s something evil going on.

The Way You Move It (I Can’t Believe It) AO3, Oneshot, Jungkook is failing his Cha Cha class because his hips are stiff, Jimin shows him how to sway those hips and maybe more.

One Page Pornography Ch. 28 AO3, Oneshot, I was honestly craving hurt/comfort Jikook plus smut and dang did this provide. I loved the angst and it hurt so so good all the way up until Jimin comforted him and then the phone sex and actual sex was A+.

Kookiemonster

Golden Boy AO3, Complete, VOLLEYBALL AU, also angst and smut (hot smut) but angst, it’s a wild ride. 

House Made of Cards AO3, Oneshot, you’d think it’s just smut but wow the underlying emotion is whew.

Got Me Baited and Bruised AO3, Oneshot, Awkward flirting guys lol.

Junghope

I’ll Give You Love (You Wanted Nothing) AO3, Oneshot, Junghope discuss marriage and I love the written dynamic here. 

There and Back Again AO3, Oneshot, okay this is really cute, college au.

While You Were Sleeping AO3, Oneshot, Kook has a wet dream and Hobi takes care of it for him while he’s asleep, totally consensual, this it pretty hot. 

Joke AO3, Oneshot, Kook is a complete brat to Hobi (because he’s an extreme tsundere) and Hobi shows him that he is very capable of fucking Jungkook up. 

Sugakookie

Bittersweet AO3, Complete, this was a smut/angst ride too, darker themes but wow it’s good, mafia au. 

Sweet Baby Boy AO3, Oneshot, yup just pure smut indulgence.

Tied Up AO3, Complete, I suggest you read the whole series by Rosiex.

White Lines, Pretty Baby AO3, Oneshot, Yoongi is Kook’s boss (well he’s a drug dealer) and they develop an unconventional relationship. 

Good Boy, Baby Boy AO3, Oneshot, Daddy kink, lace panties, you get the idea.

Pretty Boy  AO3, Oneshot, Daddy kink, crossdressing, Kook tries to prove that he’s not pretty using shock factor but it doesn’t really work out.

Whenever You Smile (I Smile) AO3, Oneshot, Hogwarts au, I love this, it was so cute and gahhhh it’s a great example of how fluffy sugakookie can be. 

Mingling AO3, Complete, Werewolf Kookie meets ancient vampire Yoongi that’s actually a huge flirt.

The Assistant AO3, Complete, I honestly love this so much because it’s not just an interesting au with good smut, but the depth of the feelings. It’s a really healthy relationship between Sugakookie of course but also Kook and Jimin’s friendship. 

Jinkook

You’re So Beautiful That I’m Scared AO3, Oneshot, indulgent smut with light dom/sub undertones, soft feelings. 

So Nice and So Cool (So Good and So Hot) AO3, Oneshot, Seokjin the TA accidentally fucks one of his students

JungkookxEveryone

Pastel AO3, Ongoing, I think you all know this one by now but just in case you don’t, Kookie likes feeling pretty and he likes being taken care of, his hyungs find out one by one.

Vminkook

Crushed Lungs AO3, Ongoing, it’s kind of a love triangle but without the whole “i hate you” thing which I like. 

Yoonkookseok

a sleepless night again today AO3, Ongoing, I love this ot3 and the relationships are developing right now but it already looks amazing. 

Jihopekook 

Accidentally Right There AO3, Ongoing, this does have jihope with bottom!Jimin but it explores Jungkook’s one-sided love (it really isn’t that unrequited) and the hurt/comfort is great, Jungkookie is a sub and he wants to be loved, I just really love it okay?

Jikookiemonster

oh baby (what’re you doing to me?) AO3, Complete, there’s a big of angst because unrequited love and stuff but then Jimin and Joon take care of him and the FEELS.

Yoonjinkook

Loving You (Is Not a Mistake) AO3, Oneshot, this is really really good and what I’ve been craving, Valentine’s Day but it’s different, hurt/comfort and oh god the Yoonjinkook ot3ness was amazing.

I Play To Win AO3, Oneshot, Alpha!Yoongi/Omega!Seokjin/Alpha!Jungkook, they all play Overwatch and Kookie sets his eyes on Yoongi (who basically hates him at first lol). I love the clash between fiery explosive Yoongi and Tease of the Century Tsundere Jungkook but things work out because you have Seokjin the peacemaker. Basically Yoongi fucks the submission into Kook.

Yup, this is all I could find for now so happy reading? I’ll update this when there’s more fics. HERE is the first fic rec I did in case you missed some of these. 

10 ‘Huge’ Spoilers from US Weekly
  1. That baby is definitely coming. “We will see a baby” King said. “That story line is really one of the most out there story lines we’ve done”
  2. But also: The baby story line will blow your freakin’ mind. ‘Remember how King said in the paragraph above that the story line is “out there”? Let’s just say you should take her word on that.’
  3.  Toby is dead — or is he? Keegan Allen assured Us that Toby dies in that car crash at the end of the first half of season 7. But we’re going to go out on a limb and assume he’s pulling our leg.
  4. However, two major characters will indeed kick the bucket. King might have dreaded the idea of calling Allen to tell him his character is dead, but she did have to make that call to at least two — and possibly three! — cast members who play popular characters that get killed off in 7B. 
  5. A.D. is definitely not who you think it is. Tyler Blackburn claims about A.D., “You’ve never met them.” Say what?! He then clarifies, “You kind of have. When you see it, you’ll understand what I’m saying.”
  6. Wedding bells for Haleb? There will definitely be two weddings in 7B — one happens earlier in the season, and the other takes place during the finale. Benson says that Haleb will “100 percent” have a happy ending at the end of the series.
  7. Emison forever — right? Shay Mitchell (Emily) admits that it “would be satisfying” for Em and Alison to end up together, but she also thinks it would be fine if her character remained single.
  8. Say goodbye to Ms. Nice Mona. “She will definitely be in the thick of things — she’s going to try to help the Liars figure out what’s going on and solve the puzzle of who is A.D.,“ the actress says of her character. "You might see a little of darker Mona come back.”
  9. Ezria will always be Ezria. Ian Harding (Ezra) says that the pair will have a “rocky road” in 7B, but he also reveals that his character and Aria (Lucy Hale) will be getting quite hot and bothered at some point. He says of one upcoming 7B scene, “It will be the sexiest in history. I read it, and I was like, ‘Are we on HBO?’ But no, we’re on Freeform, also known as Freebase.” He adds that the same episode has a particularly gory scene, and when he read it, he thought, “There’s no way that’ll pass because it’s so bloody.”
  10. That finale will give you what you want. Except when it doesn’t. King is confident that the finale will give you what you want — but not necessarily what you think you want. “I’ve realized with the Mona reveal and the Toby surprise and the Charlotte reveal, there’s this fine line — hopefully I’ve learned from all of those — but there’s a fine line of people wanting to be surprised, yet not totally, completely surprised,” the producer tells Us.“They want to be a little bit right,” King continues about the show’s fans. “Somebody said recently, 'You always do the twist on the twist — that’s what makes your show different.’ This one has, I think, the biggest twist-on-the-twist we’ve ever done.”
5

I’ve been waiting to post this draft for a while hahah but I’ve been rebooting my Redbubble store for the past month and there’s new art stuff and I’m excited.