TT- Internet Secretes Edition

I love the internet. Its a little embarrassing. Until I realize how dumb and sad I’d be without it. I mean really, me, left to read books and talk to people face-to-face??? You though Norbit was a disaster!

Still, I’m dancing around the point. Here are 3 internet accomplishments I’ve been wanting to achieve. It may sound stupid to have “internet goals”, but seeing how well my “career goals” are going, I’ll probably reach these first.

1. TO BECOME AN ARISTOCRAT ON WITSTREAM- I know its dumb. I know its all politics. I know they don’t pay you, etc. But after “applying” once or twice without hearing back, I did the classy thing and included a name drop list of all the Witstreamers who follow me. They started following me, and I eagerly awaited feedback of any kind. That was about a year ago. Nothing. I’ve sent a few DMs letting them know I’m still interested, but then I started to feel self conscious, convinced MIB was sitting in front of his computer screen saying “This Rosa bitch need to STFU.”, so I stopped. So I guess I’ll just sit and wait summore. My pillow fucking loves my current events jokes.

2. TO HAVE AN EPISODE OF NITWITS BASED OFF ONE OF MY TWEETS- I LOVE NitWits. I think its a brilliant idea, and its really well produced. I want to write for TV eventually, and what cooler way to start than to write a short based off a one liner and have it produced?! I’m very proud of all my friends who’ve made one so far (cough Tracy xaBillion) and maybe that’s why I like them so much-because I know the writers and know how awesome they are. And yeah, I’d fly out to LA just to be present for the shoot. I’d do that.

3. BE THE GUEST ON AN EPISODE OF COMPATISH- I’m a really, really, pointlessly competitive person, so I basically just want video evidence of me beating 3 guys at whatever task we were thrown. I’ve talked to Cornell about this. We’ll make it happen just as soon as I can make it out to LA for a visit.

I feel like I should put a Kickstarter plug _____here____. Or is this more of an IndieGoGo type venture?

PS- Yeah, I wrote “secretes” up there and not “secrets”. I did it on purpose. Congratulations. You passed my version of the April Fools Test your teacher tells you to read over first and it says just to write your name and turn it in. Only I’ve never met anyone who ever really took that quiz.