comparison-tattoo

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today I’m completing 1 year and 5 month on T and here are a little motivation for my guys! I look to these old pictures and  I think on how fast everything happens and when I look back seems like this was the longest year in my life. It’s strange and exciting at the same time, I can not wait to see what the future holds and top surgery here I go!!!

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I can’t tell you how many times I get told that I look exactly the same as I did before I started T. That’s fine if you don’t see the changes, because I do. I see myself standing up straighter. I’ve seen my face becoming one I’m happy to see looking back at me in the mirror. I feel my body getting stronger. I see myself smiling more, feeling more, and all around just LIKING myself more. I’m not here to please others with some drastic transformation, I’m here to be myself… as I’m becoming more myself. You’re welcome to watch, but this journey is for me

Way pre-t vs 15 months on T. (The picture on the left was the day I chopped my hair off).

A year before #wls I looked like that on the left. I was huge. I hated how I look. I was tired. I ached. I was unhappy. This past Saturday, two days after my two year #surgiversary I was brave enough to bare my stomach and legs. I’m still soft, but not overweight or obese. I’m 100+ pounds from the highest I knew I weighed. One hell of a #transformationtuesday! Photo on the right by @sventure_snaps #tuesday #startrek #captain #ariel #halloween #cosplay #comparison #sidebyside #beforeandafter #wlsstrong #weightloss #extremeweightloss #weightlosssurgery #vsg #vsgcommunity #tattoos #thightattoos #redhead #formerfatgirl

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this is how you raised us–
you brush dreams into our hair, press them into our cheeks and foreheads at night before we sleep, tell us that we are princes and kings, princesses and queens, presidents, superheros, anything that we want to be.

this is how you raised us–
you spoonfeed us your definitions of success (rich, beautiful, perfect, loved), lace our fingers with comparisons, tattoo magazine spreads along our ribs and tell us to count the inches around our waists, our thighs, tick off weights we can lift along our spines, and drug us with so called truths and lies and tell us to keep going. listen to us–chin up, love, and keep going.

this is how you raised us–
in a dying world, crying with problems you’re too afraid to own up to and so you tell us it’s our responsibility to clean it up, all the while you spin our doubts into weaknesses, our insecurities into life-defining faults and force us to drink down the poisons you all call reality and then you take our hands and tell us that we can’t be anything other than mediocre, that normality is all that we should aspire to be.

this is how you raised us–
to be dreamers, to have wings, to want and desire, but then you shackle us down to a crumbling earth with these responsibilities. you feed us the opium of happiness (by your definition and convince us it’s the only way), take it away, rip off our wings and watch us scream.

this is how you raised us–
and you have the gall to sit across the coffee table, ask me what i want to be, and when i say “a dreamer”, you laugh like it’s the most ridiculous thing.

—  and still, we dream, don’t we?