company policy

tbh I’d love a horror-comedy about a retail worker accidentally becoming a ghost/demon hunter because they’re just so unfazed by difficult and weird and bellicose customers that evil entities aren’t much more of a challenge.

“sir or ma'am or neuter, I’m going to have to ask you to stop crawling on the ceiling, you’re disturbing the other residents”

“please leave this place before I call the exorcist to remove you from the premises”

“company policy forbids me from accepting power from customers in exchange for my soul or firstborn child”

“sir, if you keep speaking to me like that, I’m going to have to end this spirit board conversation. have a good day, goodbye”

Public discussion of periods is still a taboo in many parts of the world. But this week in India, everybody’s talking about the topic.

The reason: an announcement by a Mumbai media firm called Culture Machine: The company has announced that its 75 women employees could take the first day of their period as a paid day off if they experience pain or discomfort. Some reactions have been supportive — and some not.

The rationale at Culture Machine: to reduce the stigma around menstruation as well as make it easier for women to catch a break if they’re coping with period pain. Devleena Majumder, president of human resources at the company, said the new policy was formulated after a conversation she had with her team about three weeks ago, over evening coffee. The women were saying how difficult it was to commute to work by public transport on the first day of their period, but they didn’t want to use their sick leave to stay home. As the company explained in an press release, they decided that giving woman time off to “keep up with their natural biological cycle” would “empower them to be their "prime selves.”

Company In India Gives Women A Day Off If Their Period Is Painful

Illustration: Hanna Barczyk for NPR

Call me a terrorist and threaten my pay? Enjoy your nuked careers, yuh heathens.

(long story. tl;dr is at the end)

I used to work in hospitality in a metro known for it’s obscenely huge tourist population, you know, the city built around the Mouse. I was a manager for the recreational division of the hotel. So one day, my boss (who we’ll call Mary for the purpose of the story) comes into the shared managers office and starts rummaging around for something, and strikes up a small conversation about work related minutiae with me. It’s important to note she is actually 2 tiers above me, but was acting as head of the department while searching to replace my previous boss who recently quit (great guy by the way, huge loss to the company).

As we’re talking, she abruptly stops and says “By the way, you need to shave your beard, you look like a terrorist and I don’t employ terrorists”. Haha, funny joke between colleagues, right? Nope. I am half Indian and I do look middle-eastern, and have been taking this kind of shit since middle school. Plus, we’re not close, at all. So I reply as calmly as I can muster, “Hey, I get you’re trying to be funny, but on my end it comes off as pretty ignorant, so I’d appreciate it if you chilled out with the terrorist stuff” to which Mary retorts “Oh, I’m ignorant? We’ll see how ignorant I am during your annual review”, and proceeds to walk out of the room in a huff. My jaw dropped so low I could taste the floor.

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Accuse me of not working my full 40, we'll see about that.

(long story: tl;dr at the end)

My job received some dramatic changes with the labor law changes from late last year. While it’s not technically law right now, my company is enforcing our policy to test the waters and see how it works for us. Basically this means, I can only work 40 hours a week. No overtime approval is available. Any days we work over 8 hours we have to use compensated time (comp time) to even it out. To help maintain office coverage we have meetings to plan our comp time.

To clarify, we can only use our comp time only on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays since we need a full staff on Monday and Fridays to assist our sales team. Also we can’t use it to come in late or leave early. So basically we’re left with taking long lunches (2.5-3 hours sometimes) right in the middle of the work day. But randomly, they’ll give us full days off when we work 6:30-7 hours on a weekend (which is nice, but this also is creating productivity problems). The staff who are a part of this have grown very frustrated because these long lunches are interfering with our work, meetings, appointments, and for the commuting staff they have to sit in their office for a long period of time and do nothing. Finally after a few months of this ineffective system, we told our CEO that we need to discuss some changes we think would make this better for everyone. He meets with our Exec Team and they agreed to attend our comp meeting to discuss things.

So, this Monday we all walk into the meeting with some level of hope. At the very least we’ll be heard and be able to say that we’d like to be able to come in a little late or leave a little early when things are slower. Our CEO explains his view on comp time and then a co-worker of mine explains how it isn’t working for us and it’s causing problems. Now our CEO is normally a chill guy, but he used an angry and defensive tone I’ve never seen before and went on a 15 minute rant about comp time. His rant included:

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I never told you guys my petty revenge story.

So it’s ten till close at the pizza place I worked at. A man and his daughter walk in to order. I tell them it’ll take a bit longer since the oven has to reheat. He says it’s no problem, but people lie.

While waiting I am forced to listen to this asshole whine about how long it’s taking and about how unprofessional we are and his daughter just laughs it up. Whatever. One well done pizza later I ring him up. His daughter asks about the delivery driver opening, sneaking in a lovely comment about how we looked like we needed the help, earning her a beaming grin from the father. I tell her if she’s over 18 (company policy) I could give her an application, to which the father responds

“Ah shes only sixteen. What a shame she’d be perfect for the job. Pretty girls get all the tips”

He then takes a long look at me and writes a big fat zero under the tip line. His daughter is in hysterics. Now I was very self conscious about my appearance, and this was the first time in months I had the confidence to go out without makeup on. This absolute foot of a person decided he has the right to tear me down like that? I am furious, humiliated, and just want to go home so I usher him out. I am interrupted by a

“Wait, this pizza isn’t well done enough. You need to send it through the oven again” followed by a snide remark to the daughter about incompetence. I accept the offering the karma gods sent me. I inform him that sending it through again might burn it, and it can’t be voided if it happens. But he insists. So I take my sweet time, listen to them bitch, hum a little song, I enjoy this.

I give him his disaster of a pizza. Its blackened, hard, and completely inedible. He’s practically smoking out of his ears when he sees it and demands a refund. I politely inform them that I told them earlier the policies, and was unable to authorize it. Bewildered that he didn’t get what he wants he goes scarlet and demands to speak to a manager, practically screaming.

I put on my sweetest smile and say with a voice that is borderline psychotic I say

“I am the manager”

I assume it’s pretty hard to talk shit when you have to eat a near black pizza because that was the last time I saw him.

AU where Geno and the pens are part of a secret organization that time travels to maintain the flow of historic events, and on one mission, Geno is tasked to go back to the 1820s to save a man (whose great-great grandson will eventually be key to a medical breakthrough that will change history) from a freak accident involving a horse carriage gone rogue. 

Anyways, the man is super thankful and insists on treating Geno to dinner, and Geno is hesitant because he’s really not supposed to interact this much with the subject but the man won’t hear a no. So Geno gets taken to this guy’s estate and meets Sidney, the man’s youngest son, who is beautiful and intelligent and basically Geno’s exact type. So right there and then Geno knows that he’s screwed. 

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anonymous asked:

Fuck regulars who think they deserve special treatment because they come frequently, and fuck managers who cave and give them special treatment after they've screamed their head off at employees for just following company policy. I don't care if you spend 2 dollars or 500 dollars here, that doesn't give you the right to yell and degrade me and insult my intelligence because store rules say I can't do something for you. And fuck the weak managers that just give them what they want anyway.

Give me more work? Hope you like waiting!

I work a crappy retail job, and we just started putting out our christmas stock (It kills me to say that when it isn’t even Halloween yet). I was working the register while my coworker was in the back room handling a delivery. It was a quiet night, no customers for about half an hour, and in walks a woman with her three year old daughter.

They start looking in the christmas aisle. I happen to walk by it about ten minutes later, and the aisle is completely trashed. I watch as her daughter pulls three pegs worth of garland off the wall, then as her mother picks out the color she wants and leaves the rest on the floor. This woman had allowed her daughter to do this for nearly everything in the aisle. She saw me, took her daughters hand and said “Come on honey, lets go check out while this nice lady cleans up.” And she leads her kid toward the check out.

Well, jokes on you, lady. I’m the only one working them tonight! I start cleaning the aisle (very slowly) while she waits at the register. After a few minutes, the lady looks at me and clears her throat. I look up, smile and say “I’m sorry, but company policy states that I can’t leave any obstruction in an aisle unattended. I’ll be with you as soon as I can.” And I go back to cleaning. Made her wait for a good twenty minutes trying to entertain a bored, increasingly whiny toddler before I came up and wrang her stuff up. I made sure to give her my biggest smile as I handed her her change and said “Have a nice night!”.

Please fire me. I had to call in sick to work today (I have bronchitis & Pneumonia), and my supervisor replied that I needed to give them two hours advance notice. I called at 8:30 AM, my shift starts at 9:30 AM, and my supervisor doesn’t arrive until 8:00 AM. I’m sorry, was I supposed to call at 7:30 in the morning to a location where no one will pick up the phone?

Tales from a Summer at an Amusement Park Food Line

- While attempting to close on my very first shift, I accidentally dropped an entire container of Italian dressing on the floor. Most of it went into my socks. It made for a very unpleasant ride home.

- The line I worked in served personal pan pizzas, club wraps, carved turkey sandwiches, salads (side salads as well as Mediterranean salads), very large pickles, and a variety of desserts made in store. We were allowed to alter recipes as people requested, within reason. One person requested a pizza without sauce. I respected her decision. A surprising number of people requested pizzas without cheese. I questioned theirs, especially since they got pepperoni.

- We offered a gluten-free pizza that took twenty minutes to cook (ordinary pizzas took five). There was one man I came to recognize who showed up at least every other week to order a gluten-free pizza. I very much hope that he had a season’s pass, or he was spending upwards of $70 a week for the privilege of waiting on a pizza.

- A child came in with his parents one day and they began asking about the ingredients in all our food. As my coworker began to answer, I stopped him and asked if this were an allergy question; when told yes, I asked them to wait and went to hunt down a manager, as company policy stated that only managers or higher could answer questions regarding allergies. My coworkers did not understand why I was wasting people’s time like this. I attempted to explain to them that I had no desire to kill a seven-year-old because I thought I knew better than the allergen manual. They continued to ridicule me. The mother made a point of thanking me in front of my supervisor when she arrived for apparently being the only person who was concerned about the well-being of her child, who was evidently allergic to everything.

- This was far from the only argument I had with my coworkers about allergen safety. I fear for the customers.

- A man came into my line one afternoon, looked at me, looked at the salads, looked at me, looked at the salads again, looked at me, pointed directly at the salads, and said, “You sell salads?” I expended every ounce of willpower I had left not to respond, “No, sir, those are small ornamental shrubbery.”

- Victoria Justice came to give a concert at our park one afternoon. I have never heard any of her music, but between the fact that she was apparently an elitist bully to the ride attendants (and other guests) when she was enjoying her day at the park and the fact that the park was sold out that day with mostly girls under the age of twelve, all of whom wanted pizza for lunch, I have decided that I hate her.

- A couple came through my line. We recognized each other. They were parishioners at the church I had worked for prior to the amusement park. I left the church because I was fired in a very underhanded and unprofessional manner. I cheerfully told them to say hello to everybody for me. They left very quickly.

- Part of our job was to engage any guests waiting in line in conversation, especially the children. I was exceptionally good at this part of my job. My coworkers were either in awe or jealous.

- The number of people who did not understand that I did not have their special orders ready before they thought to order them was mind-boggling.

- A toddler came into my line and began chattering with me. This would not have been unusual, except that his parents were nowhere in sight, nor was any other adult, as they were all in the other room watching the show. I leaned as far over the counter as I could to keep the little guy talking and in sight until an adult came to take responsibility for him. To this day, I sincerely hope that the adult who came for him was actually his mother.

- While attempting to close down our second line, I used one of the four doors to the small refrigerator cases to support myself as I pushed myself from a squatting position to a standing one. I ripped the door off its top hinge.

- My coworker made a joke one night about something she would like to do. I explained how it would be possible. Her eyes filled with fear. I had to explain that I am a writer and had done research for a mystery novel and that I have not, in fact, ever cut someone’s feet off at the ankles with a cake knife.

- I became somewhat well-known among my coworkers for knowing all the words to the songs in the shows that went on in the dining area while we were cooking/serving. Strangely enough, my coworkers were less confused as to how I, a 23-year-old, knew ‘80s pop songs than they were as to how I, a 23-year-old, knew German drinking songs.

- Three days before the end of the summer, having been friends with one particular colleague for nearly five months, I had to pull out my ID to prove to her that I was in my twenties and not, in fact, nineteen.

TalesFromTheFrontDesk: The second-closest I've come to fighting a guest

Around midnight, a tallish guy with a build on the larger side of small, with face tattoos and his hood up came to the desk and started laying out a tired old story: “My name’s Jason Anus. My wife and baby are up in room 99999. I went out for a smoke but I left my key in the room, blah blah blah.”
As I’m sure you’ve guessed (and in compliance with ancient tradition), his name wasn’t associated with the room in any way, so we had to get permission. After knocking, calling the room, and calling his wife’s cell phone to no avail, the guy goes “Just let me in the fuckin’ room.” Sorry Mr. Anus, rules are rules. You’ll just have to try again later.
This escalated to the point where he and I were standing in the hall several doors down from the room in question. He was shouting and swearing and trying to bully me into opening the room with my staff key.
After ten minutes of this, just when I was about to tell him he needed to leave the property and wait for her to call him, she opened the door. Great. I turned to walk away without a word of acknowledgment. He walked away as well, but just as he was entering the room I heard him announce loudly enough for everyone on the floor to hear “This fuckin faggot wouldn’t let me into the room.”
I could have kicked him out five minutes ago; I decided if I got even the slightest hint of trouble from him, I’d expel all three of them from the property. I turned around to tell him this and I saw him bounding up the hall at me.
Anus: “Put my name on the fuckin’ room! I better not have trouble getting into my room again!”
Me: “Actually, you’re about two seconds from getting, kicked out.”
Anus: “You can’t make us go anywhere, we’re not leaving.”
Me: [impersonation of him calling me a fucking faggot] “I’m at work, I don’t need to deal with half the bullshit I’ve dealt with from you.”
He took a step forward and got in my face and I noticed he’s actually a lot smaller than he seemed when I met him a few minutes ago, when I was sitting down. I didn’t shy away, and in a voice quiet enough for only him to hear, I told him to get away from my face. He leaned in even closer so we were nearly nose-to-nose; he told me to get the fuck out of his face. What? I didn’t budge and he leaned in closer. I still didn’t budge and he said “Get the fuck out of my face and go back to your little desk!” I was standing up straight with my shoulders back this whole time, so I know I wasn’t the one who was getting in anyone’s face. He touched his forehead to mine and I felt some of his sweat transfer to my forehead. It occurred to me he must have been a lot more excited than I was at that moment. He said something like “Where I’m from we’d mouth you for this.” Mouth me? I’ve never heard of that. I put my hand on his chest and applied light pressure to communicate my patience with his hostility had expired.
At that point, a proper shove was warranted; but I felt like I was right up against the line where if I didn’t exercise maximum restraint then I’d just cut loose completely and there’d be a fistfight on the second floor. He sort of weakly gave me a shove back, but didn’t get any closer to my face. The rage bubbled up but I stifled it and turned to address his wife. I took a step in her direction, but before I spoke he jumped forward and gave me a more violent shove back, but I caught his body with my hands and shoved him harder than before, a few steps back away from me toward his room, ordering him to keep his fucking hands off me. He said “That’s my fuckin’ wife in there don’t go in my fuckin’ room.” I ignored him and told her “I’m sorry I have to do this, but he can’t control himself so you all have to leave.” Her answer wasn’t “Stop it Jason you’re being an idiot,” she looked at me and said “No.”
Well great, I won’t feel burdened by guilt for throwing out the baby with the bathwater. I’m just throwing out a bunch of babies. The guy started receding into the room, so I felt the conflict had reached a stopping point. Sarcastically and with anger obvious in my voice I said “Have a good night.” and he said the same thing in the same way. The door slammed and I dialed local police dispatch while I strolled away, down the hall.
Since some of you might ask: I didn’t press charges. It would’ve been pointless and the situation didn’t escalate to a point where I felt I was in any danger. The kid was obviously just a punk barely out of his late teens. All he really deserved was a good punch in the face, but that’s against company policy.

By: thegovernment0usa

I work in a kids clothing store and so naturally we also have small toys and things aimed at kids so they can endlessly pester their parents to add more things to the pile. Anyway, one day we were having a big sale and the sweetest girl (couldn’t have been more than 7) came up to check the price of this one selfie stick microphone hybrid. And it came up to about $30. The little girl thanks me and runs off, about 5 minutes later she comes back over with a $50 bill and says “I think this is enough” and so I ring her up. We’re not allowed to keep $50s in the register so we have a safe that scans it and keeps it in there.
About 2 seconds after I put the $50 in the safe, where I cannot get it out, her mother comes over and says “Never mind she’s not getting that”. I tell the mother that since I had already put the $50 through that I would have to finish the transaction and then start a return right after. She looked mad, but said ok. So I handed her the change from the first purchase and I start processing the return, she then gives me the dirtiest look and says to me “You’re allowed sell to minors?” And I look at her and say “Yeah, kids come in here without their parents a lot.” And the look on her face was like if I had just cursed her out. She then told her daughter “You’re not allowed to buy anything, you’re too young.”
Eventually we get to the end of the return and the company has a policy where they need to know certain information to prevent fraud and stuff, and when I asked for the information this woman got all offended telling me that for her first name I could put “M” and then got even more angry when I said “No ma'am, I need your full name.” I apologized and told her it was company policy but she was still pissed at me. The worst thing though. Is parents do this ALL the time, even when it’s the kids own money. Long story short, parents are terrible.

anonymous asked:

Ahhhh I would love it if you shared more about trans Peter Parker! I really want to headcanon his friends and family being super supportive, and maybe Ned's annoying at first with all the questions, but Peter tells him, exasperated "please use google first," and Ned gets better, and Peter still has all his friends, IDK. (Just want my trans son to be happy)

Buckle in folks bc this is a loooong answer!

1) Family and Friends

I think Ned was really good overall, like he was totally lost and didn’t 100% understand boundaries but once he got it all straight in his head he was like the best ally. He’s totally the kind of person to aggressively call Peter “dude” and “man” and stuff like that.

I really love NB MJ but whether or not she is she just doesn’t give a fuck when Peter comes out. She’s just like “okay dude, if that’s your thing then whatever”. But she never misgenders him.

May has some issue and kinda misses her niece, but she loves Peter and does her absolute best to respect him. Sometimes she takes out old baby pictures late at night and cries but she becomes the most protective mama bear.

Flash calling him ‘penis parker’? Yeah that’s because he doesn’t have one.

Even when Peter wasn’t out he dressed in more ‘masculine’ clothing so the wardrobe isn’t really a big change.


2) The Avengers

Steve - dad

Tony - dad 

Clint – big brother 

Natasha -unknown?? Aunt perhaps?? 

Bucky - dad 

Sam- big brother 

Bruce – uncle/doctor 

Thor – weird family friend/uncle

The Avenger Family vs School

  • bucky weirdly goes back to his old flirty and smooth self and just talks up all the moms to pacify them. hes a social butterfly 
  • or hes got his dumb eyeliner and is driving the car with pete and natasha and everyone is confused and scared
  • also fuckin stevie being like “peter. if you ever feel uncomfortable or scared to go somewhere, call me okay?” and from behind him is just sam going “yeah no one will fuck with you when youre with this 6’ stack of pure muscle” and natasha is just like “and hes captain america”
  • Steve is not afraid to back chat and full on argue with mums at the school
  • PTA dad ultra duo
  • tony is passive aggressive: like “oh sorry linda, whos snicker doodle cookies sold out at last weeks bake sale? was it yours? i dont think so.”
  • “hello my name is Steve Avenger and this is Peter’s older brother Clint Avenger”
  • and everyone is so confused and dazzled they just kinda let it slide
  • bc they all know who the avengers are
  • but also bc they seem to be having fun pretending to be the Avenger family so they just let them do their thing
  • bc, you know, theyre THE AVENGERS
  • also bc the school knows peters fam is just May
  • Also Peter first getting his suit and trying to get things off of high shelves n shit with his Web shooters ans so much shit gets broken
  • Pete thought it would be Steve who would freak out but it ends up being Tony
  • tonys like “Young MAN! You have wrecked my kitchen on time to many! OUT! You are banned from this place just like Clint! No coming into the kitchen without my express permission!
  • Tony comes down at 3 in the morning to get a drink and finds Clint eating the weirdest shit bc hes hormonal 
  • cue clint doing the dramatic head turn while eating a bowl of tuna salad with crunched up in it and a cup of no-alcoholic rose
  • he’d always be really annoying about making plans with ant-man bc “we bug based super heroes have to stick together. thats why me an natasha are so close #spiderbuddies”
  • originally bc of the whole #buglife joke but they actually enjoy hanging out together


Steve is a trans guy too (i have a whole load of stuff about him too, but basically the serum was like Ultra T for him), so he just kinda gets Peter? He adopts him and gets the whole spiderMAN thing. Total dad, super protective.

Bucky adores Peter and he kinda freaked out at first because he totally saw pre-serum Steve in Peter? Like he sometimes forgets it isn’t him, but he is fiercely protective but is also really good to just hang out with. Also, Peter weirdly really good at calming down Bucky when he flips out. Like him and Steve are the go-to people and no one can work out why, but its because to Bucky when he’s in that state they both just remind him of how everything used to be? 

Sam and Clint teach Peter a bunch of weird tricks. Also both Peter and Clint are banned from Tony’s kitchen, so they bond over that.

Natasha trains him in combat and acrobatics and bc of her and his spidey stuff hes really, really good.

Tony doesn’t know at first, but Steve has a private word with him and he changes all the company policies. Discrimination now includes against transgender individuals and the insurance covers transition.

Bruce is really good about trying to find transitional methods and hormones that work with Peters spider stuff. 

Thor’s brother is genderfluid and has become a horse and made magical horse babies so he just doesn’t have any opinion on it past “Don’t hurt the child.”

Thats most of it I guess? 

 ((  http://archiveofourown.org/works/11569668/chapters/25994403  ))

I wanted a break from studying, so I whipped up this quick fic that I couldn’t get out of my head. NOTE: Sorry if the characters are OOC and the grammar is bad. I wrote it very quickly. Also, Al= Allura. Enjoy!

   Lana sat behind the counter at Voltron Café viciously flipping through her Engineering Math notes. It was around 1PM so an upside was that the cafe wasn’t as busy as it usually is in the morning hours, but the downside is that she has exactly 24 hours to learn three chapters worth of math so that she has a sliver of hope to pass one of Ms. Iversons notorious exams. Lana pressed her face into her textbook and groaned into it.

“Engineering?” a voice chirped above her. 

“No. It’s actually witchcraft mixed in with an ancient alien language. But, I mean, I guess you could call it Engineering.” Lana replied. 

“Yup, that sounds like one of Iversons tests.” Hunk laughed beside her, putting away freshly baked chocolate chip cookies in the baked goods display. Hunk hovered over her best friends shoulder, reading the problem she was working on. Lana quickly stole one of Hunks cookies. “Lana, all of your work is right. All you have left is to take the derivative and plug in the x.” Hunk mused. Lana quickly did as Hunk instructed her to, and, sure enough, she got the right answer.

Lana looked up at Hunk with her best puppy dog eyes, “Hunk. Bffl. My bestie for life. My sun and stars. The best human being I’ve ever known.”

“I can’t Lana, I have a chem test tomorrow that I have to study for.” Hunk pouted, fiddling with the burnt orange ribbon she always tied her thick black locks in.

Lana smiled, “It’s cool, dude. But don’t think I’m not gonna be texting you problems that I really don’t get.”

Hunk beamed, “Deal. But I know this other girl who’s in Iversons class this semester. She comes into the cafe at around this time, maybe you two can study together.” Lana knew exactly who Hunk was referring to. Dark hair, sparkling eyes, always wearing some form of leather.

“Why do I have a feeling that this girl always comes in on a red motorcycle, sits right behind me in math, and is the bane of my existence?” Lana frowned.

Hunk shrugged, escaping back into the kitchens, “I dunno about all of that, but I do know you made out with her for a good thirty seconds on New Years before dipping out.” she winked. Lana turned a brilliant scarlet, just as the door chimed.

“Welcome to Voltron Cafe!” Lana called out, already scooping whipped cream into a cup. The drink was already finished by the time the customer made it to the counter. Lana turned, hot drink in hand, to face none other than Kat Kogane.

“Whipped cream with a three shots of hot coffee for Kat?” Lana asked in her best customer service voice. Kats eyes widened at how fast Lana made her order. She didn’t even get a chance to watch the cute barista make her drink from afar.

“Y-you- You remembered my order?” Kat stammered out.

Lana shrugged, punching numbers in on the cash register, “It’s not that complicated. And don’t worry, I tried not to make it as foamy.” Kat internally winced at the mention of foam and her awful attempt in looking cool in front of her crush.

“You’re never going to let that go, huh?” Kat frowned as Lana counted out her change.

“Tell you what, Kitty Cat,” Lana smirked, handing Kat her change. “Help me learn the last two chapters for Iversons math test from hell, and i’ll let it go. Shoot, i’ll put every bad interaction we’ve ever had behind me.”

“How generous of you.” Kat deadpanned, taking a sip of her perfectly made vienna coffee.

“I know, i’m just a wonderful human being. So will you do it or not?” Lana sighed, cocking a hip to the side.

“Throw in a couple of those chocolate chip cookies and you have a deal.” Kat smirked back.  Lana threw two cookies into a bag and practically jumped over the counter with her spiral and textbook. “Deal.” Lana will deal with Al’s lecture later, right now, she needed help.



BONUS:
       After a long study session, Lana and Hunk cleaned and closed up the shop together. It was company policy that workers should throw out any leftover baked goods, so that fresh ones can be made in the mornings. That never did sit well with Lana. Hunk was an artist in the kitchen and her food tasted like it too. She wasn’t about to throw that art away, with only racoons to savor it! So she packed up her besties leftover treats in a box and closed the shop. Lana bid Hunk goodnight, and walked to her blue Prius. There was a cherry red motorcycle parked right next to her car. Lana couldn’t help the smile that stretched across her face.

“Hey.” she called out to the other girl, handing Kat the box that was in her hand. Kat cautiously looked at the box and looked at Lana. “It’s not filled with snakes or anything.” Lana rolled her eyes.

“Are you allowed to be giving me this?” Kat asked in a hushed voice.

   Lana laughed, “You don’t have to whisper. They’re cupcakes, not cocaine. But, yeah. It’s company policy that we through out all unsold baked goods. But I usually just take them home, or hand them out to other poor starving college students like myself.” Kat only nodded her head, unsure of what to say. “This was more of a thank you, for agreeing to teach me math. And giving me a sliver of hope for Iversons test tomorrow.” Lana blabbered. Kat turned to put the box of treats on her motorcycle and pulled out a pen from her pocket. Kat grabbed Lanas hand and scribbled her number onto her palm. Kat silently prayed to whatever God was listening to her that her hands weren’t sweaty. It was Lanas turn to look at the palm of her hand, then Kat, then back to her hand.

“It’s my number,” Kat explained quickly, “in case you have any more questions.” Lana stared at Kat with wide blue eyes, and they narrowed immediately. Kats face burned in embarrassment. Did Lana know that she had a massive crush on her? That Kat was dying to give the pretty brunette with crystal blue eyes her number? Shiro always told her she was a shit liar, but Kat thought she had a pretty solid alibi!  

“Oh hell no.” Lana finally spoke. A part of Kat died inside. “I will not let you beat me in the flirting department! That was smooth as hell Kitty Kat, but i’ll woo your socks off. Just you watch!” Lana called, walking to the drivers side of her car. Kat let out a breath, and chuckled.

“Yeah, yeah lover girl. How about you focus on aceing our math test tomorrow?” Kat called, mounting her bike. Lana rolled down her passenger side window to wink at Kat before bidding her goodnight. Kat couldn’t help the stupid grin that was stretched across her face the entire ride home.


——–


((V: I AM LITERALLY SCREAMING RIGHT NOW OKAY, THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!! ASDFHUJIARLEKWDSFHUGIJRKLFDMS!!! I seriously was not expecting this when i logged in today!! Dude!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! 

Lana is SO ON POINT!!! Like, i couldn’t even portray her better than this!!! And it’s so funny omg, I already wanna doodle this omg I love it so much!!! Everyone is so great and aahh this is perfect!!! Thank you for this!!!!!

Y: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa THIS IS TOO CUTE OH GOSHHHHHHHH!!! Thank you for this this was just so cute and honestly made my entire day! I was screaming at Kat this whole time when you mentioned her fuck up like “GOD KAT WHAT IS YOUR DEAL???” 

This is absolutely beautiful and super cute! I loved the way you portrayed Kat as this bumbling awkwardly in love idiot! Like that’s what I’ve been trying to get her to come across as this whole time and you’ve done it so well! SO MUCH BETTER THAN I COULD HAVE OMG THANK YOU!!!!

Thank you so much for this this was just so wonderful! Thank you for putting up with us and our shenanigans and inconsistent updates (mostly me sorry about that yo school kicking my ass im sorry) 

We promise to update much more in the future!!!!))

claireifythat  asked:

A customer comes to complain to me that there was a man in the bathroom she was using. I assume she's talking about a trans woman and start to explain that company policy allows trans people to use the bathroom that matches their gender identity, and she cuts me off. That's not her issue. The line in the women's room was too long, so she went to the men's room. There was a man in it. This was upsetting to her. I tell her that men are allowed to use the men's bathroom.

HOW DARE SOMEONE WHO IDENTIFIES AS MALE BE IN THE MEN’S ROOM

Mystic Messenger MMORPG AU

I’ve always wanted to do a really detailed, indepth Mystic Messenger MMO AU but here’s the summarized gist of it I’ve had knocking around in my head for awhile.

The RFA - short for Rika Family Atelier - is a mercantile guild (with a heavy emphasis on charitable philanthropy) that exists within the hot new virtual reality MMORPG, Mystic Message Online. It’s lead by V, who is one of the lead art directors of C&R Development (who manages and funds the game), though company policy demands that those who work at C&R keep their admin accounts and personal accounts entirely separate. The RFA is given some leeway in this, due to V and Jumin being the founders of the game, but they still try to remain a sense of propriety about it all. Mystic Message Online was Rika, Jumin, and V’s childhood fantasy game, the thing that they always wanted to create. Rika was the programmer, V was the art director, and Jumin both provided the funding and did the company work that all games need to succeed. Together, they started a game that exploded in popularity, and has now become a worldwide sensation.

Back in the glory days of the guild, the RFA used to organize server-wide events within the community to help people socialize, make connections, and have fun. They frequently provided tutoring for newbies, created compendiums and guides for the playerbase, and in general were a welcome and loved presence in Mystic Message Online. Most famously, they coordinated enormous and expansive player-run markets, as the crafting/trading aspect of Mystic Messenger Online is particularly robust. However, after Rika’s peculiar and strange death, V practically abandoned his ‘for fun’ characters in favor of work… and the RFA has since stagnated without an active leader.

The RFA gets shaken up when, in a strange turn of events, Rika logs on again - except, it’s not Rika. Its MC, having been told to access RIka’s account by a strange e-mail sent to them the day they bought a copy of Mystic Message Online…


Yoosung plays a holy paladin who’s always helping newbies in the starting area. He’s pretty generous with his items, and he quasi-roleplays with the rest of the RFA where he dramatically says he’ll protect them from all harm. He’s pretty good at his class - which isn’t surprising, considering that he is online 24/7, much to the detriment of his real life. On his own time, he tries to organize events for the community, but it’s very difficult without the backing of the rest of the RFA. He loves dungeoning, raiding, and chasing after the latest rumors he’s read on the forum. 

He’s easily taken in by scams, and he really, really hates Player Killers.

Zen plays a bard, and he works as a voice actor for C&R. Every character he voices is incredibly popular, and he has a blog where he’ll fill silly requests for the community. He’s stopped playing the game mostly, instead hanging out in cities to network (and be fawned over) by other players… which makes Yoosung particularly sad, since they used to go on tons of quests and dungeon runs together. Zen is, honestly, a bit burned out on the game, and only sticks with it because he works with the company. When “Rika” logs in again though, his interests is certainly piqued… 

Jaehee plays a cleric, and she’s the saltiest, most tired healer on the planet. She usually logs on in tandem with Jumin, as after she’s done running around the office for him, she duos quests and heals him in dungeons. It’s a bit exploitative, and Jaehee is always tempted to just let Jumin die. She is afraid she’ll be fired if she does that, however. Jaehee wasn’t around when the guild was big into the mercantile and shopkeeping aspect of Mystic Messenger Online, which makes her really sad, because she’s always wanted to pursue a crafting profession… maybe cooking?

Jumin, the heir of C&R, is a wizard who spends at least half his time taking screenshots of his familiar, Elizabeth the III. He’s socially oblivious, has no concept of online decorum, and is the kind of guy who’d roll ‘Need’ on an item because it looks cool. He is also an absolute encyclopedia of information about Mystic Message Online, so if you need to know how to do something, how to solve a quest, or where something is, ask Jumin. Of course, he doesn’t really offer this information unless you specifically ask…

Seven is C&R’s lead programmer (taking over after Rika, the old lead programmer), and the reason why Mystic Message Online has so many ridiculous and weird, quirky features is DIRECTLY because of him. He’s frequently caught up in passion projects, and he loves pitching bizarre, horrible dungeon mechanics that make people suffer. Despite Yoosung’s begging, he will not give him advanced information about anything going into the game. His main character is a mechanic - a class focused on making and controlling robots, turrets, and technological magic - but he has a number of side characters, including one who he has in a prominent PK-ing guild. Vanderwood is part of this guild as well.

V is an illusionist, which is a special brand of magic user that focuses on buffing allies and debuffing enemies. He never logs in anymore, instead throwing most of himself into his duties at the company… or that’s what he says, at least. V was honestly never very good at the game when he played. Jumin always had to explain things to him, take care of him, and tell him what to do. They had a lot of fun though, especially when they were first developing the game…

Unknown is… a mysterious presence within the game. He appears to have a glitched avatar, and he also seems to have strange admin powers. Following the appearance of MC are a number of other strange elements in the game, such as a odd, out-of-the-blue update which adds an entirely new area to the game, along with a faction called ‘Mint Eye’. They seem to be a religious faction, but all the NPCs aligned with Mint Eye seem…. really developed and advanced?! Almost like they’re indistinguishable from real people…

Vanderwood is a PKer with no association to C&R beyond knowing Seven. They’re pals online, and Vanderwood is kind of a shitty person who likes hunting other people down to blow off stress from their demanding and stressful dayjob. However, they get really, really curious about the new ‘Mint Eye’ quest, and start pursuing it with Seven, who is very, very confused about all of this content thAT HE DID NOT DEVELOP, WORK ON, OR KNOW ABOUT IN ANY CAPACITY. Their quest to uncover the truth is interrupted by something, however.

Following the update, no one in the game can log out.

Bodyguard AU

So imagine Steve works for a group of highly trained, deadly assassins- consisting of him, Bucky, Natasha, Peggy and Clint. They’re the best. The most efficient. You get taken out by one of them?
No one will ever find the body.

(Unless they want people to)

And of course, because Steve is team leader and he has Scruples and Morals etc. he makes sure that any kills they make are against bad people. The worst people. The ones that need to go. He prides himself and his team for doing rigorous background tests before the deal is confirmed, in order to check that the person they’ve been hired to take out is really better off dead.


One day, Steve gets a call. 


They ask him to take out Tony Stark.


And yes, that’s the Tony Stark. The billionaire weapons designer, making his fortune off bombs and WoMD’s at the age of thirty. The one in the front of magazine covers and the center of scandals and the highlight of every party.

The client tells Steve that he’s been dealing his weapons to terrorists under the table. That he’s responsible for funding groups like the Ten Rings, who are slaughtering people in the middle east. They don’t give a name, but Steve guesses they work closely with Stark.

By the end of the call, he’s already pretty convinced. 

Unfortunately, because this is Tony Stark they’re talking about here, they can’t just go in and do a background check. They’re smart, and Natasha can hold her own against firewallas and computers, but this isn’t the same thing.

Because it’s Tony Stark.

If they pulled it off, it would be the biggest deal they’d ever made. It would make them infamous. They could throw money at any charity they wanted, give back to community in more ways than just killing.

Steve is half the way to just packing up his sniper and finding a rooftop. It’s only when Bucky gives him a stern talking to about getting trigger-happy that he realises company policy still stands. Even with a man like Stark.

“How the fuck are we supposed to work out if the claim is true or not? We can’t get near the guy,” Steve argues.

Bucky just smiles, and raises an eyebrow. “Unlike you, pal, I actually did some research. I got contacts around them businesses, and you know what I found out? Stark wants a bodyguard. His old one’s been injured and can’t come back for six months.” The man claps delightedly. “We got ourselves the perfect way in, Stevie.”

Steve frowns, because that sounds like it’s going to take a long time and if what their client is saying is true, they need to stop him, now. “So what, you gonna go in there all glammed up and offer yourself as his body-guard?”

Bucky grins, and pats him on the shoulder. “Nope. You are gonna in there all glammed up and offer yourself as his body-guard. I got Natasha to get you an interview, and Pegs is working on diverting any other potential candidates away. You’ll get it, no problem.”


Steve gapes, and Bucky just laughs. “Get ready to get up close and personal with Mr Terrorist, Tony Stark.”

Sweet Like Caramel pt. 1- Delitoonz

Part 2

by Faith (just-delitoonz-things)

Jonathan had only worked at the coffee shop for a month before he decided that this was the best job in the entire world. For one thing, he got coffee 50% off, which for a guy living on his own in New York, paycheck to paycheck, was life changing. For another, he got to make coffee for cute guys, specifically one cute guy who had come in every morning since Jonathan had started working there. His name was Luke, and that’s pretty much all Jonathan knew about him except for the fact that he always came in at 6:30 sharp looking like he hated the world and everything in it. Jonathan hoped that the extra caramel he always put on his large caramel macchiatos made Luke’s mornings a little better.

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