“There are a lot of things I wish I could’ve seen before.” Dean’s voice gets a little rough, a little too strained for the quaint atmosphere of the bustling coffee shop. “A lot more things I did see but I didn’t appreciate.”
He didn’t get a response, but he could sense the deeper breaths from his coffee companion. Being immersed in darkness for so long made him sensitive to other facts of life. Like how he knew his friend had ordered a hot chocolate, could smell the marshmallows melting. Like how he knew there was a cute girl, with a giggly personality and a love for lavender bath bombs, who stopped by their table frequently as if she couldn’t stay away from them.
What he didn’t know was how they got to this point. They’ve been friends for years and Castiel never brought up Dean’s past, Dean’s loss of sight. It was one of the reasons Dean treasured their friendship. But now… now Dean couldn’t help the disappoint as he continued to talk into the dark abyss that smelled of coffee.
“I wish I would’ve paid more attention to my mom’s smile and my dad’s grin. I wish I could’ve known to memorize Sam’s boyish features. But I don’t. I have nothing to remember my parents except the ghost of their words.” Taking a deep breath, Dean readjusted the cane by his side. The cold metallic feel underneath his fingertips brought him some sense of safety. “I wish I could see a lot of things, Cas.”
Still sitting in silence, Cas shifted in his seat. Taking a soft breath, he finally parted his lips. “I’m sorry that I asked that question. I know that… I want you to know that I really don’t see you as a blind man. It only recently started to bother me.”
And there it was. The statement that made Dean’s face harden into a grimace. That one sentence crushed everything he had built with this other man. “I’m sorry it bothers you.” He couldn’t help the venom dripping from his words. He was halfway on his feet when he heard a hiccup.
Turning his head just the slightest, Dean heard it. Crying. Quiet enough as if Cas was using all of his energy to hold it in. That was not what Dean expected. He found himself sitting back down and trying his hardest to look in his best friend’s direction.
“I-I just…” Cas’ words were breaking, his breathing choppy and violent. “I didn’t care before because… because you were my friend. But now… now I f-fucking fell in love you and you’ll never see me… you’ll never see the smile I get when you walk into a room or know just how much I stare and it’ll never be okay because I want more than anything to have you see the way I love you.”
A single cool tear slipped past Dean’s cheekbone. Without a word, he maneuvered himself from his chair to kneeling beside Cas. With a heavy heart, Dean reached up and took his hand in his own. “Castiel, I don’t need to see.”
Cas sniffled, calming himself. “What do you-“
“I hear every smile you have. I hear every sigh and little gasp from your lips. I don’t need to see you to know that you love me. Just as you don’t need to hear me say it to know that I love you. Jesus Christ, Cas, I…” Without hesitating Dean reached his hand toward the breathing he was so tuned into. His fingers cautiously brush Cas’ stubble. “I love you.”
Dean didn’t need to see to know his friend was smiling. He didn’t need to open his eyes to know that Cas was staring right at him, right into him. And he sure as hell didn’t need his sight to lean forward and press their lips together.
“Let’s get out of here.” Dean whispered against tear-soaked cheeks.
Cas nodded, clinging to Dean’s shirt. “Is it true that sex with a blind person is quite mind-blowing?”
That, that was why Dean loved Cas so much. “You can tell me that answer tomorrow morning, sweetheart.”