comp exam

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AP LANG EXAM SURVIVAL GUIDE

1) The AP College Board, who makes these tests, are MOTHERFUCKERS. They may give you a prompt that they KNOW you give zero fucks about. So you better get ready to fake those fucks.

2.During the allotted 15 minutes to read your prompts don’t spend all your time on Synthesis sources. You will get down and intimate with those prompts later. Read ALL prompts AND pre-write ideas. You will be tired! PRE-WRITE. Synthesis LAST. LAST. It’s an easier puzzle to piece together in a time crunch.

3. If the argument or synthesis asks you to write a letter or to argue your point to a specific group…DON’T WRITE A LETTER! HOE DON’T DO IT. If you do you’ll use too much first person and personal opinions and it will lose its argumentative style. THEYRE NOT YOUR FRIENDS, THEY ARE YOUR ENEMY. Don’t make them love you - make them scared of you because of your solid AS FUCK argument.

4.HAVE A MINT. HAVE ANOTHER. SUCK THAT MINTY SHIT BITCH IT STIMULATES YOUR BRAIN SHIT. LIKE WEED BUT MORE LEGAL.

5. Don’t spend a year in each multiple choice question. Some problems are on a curve. If they feel impossible, it probably is. (Unless you have Jesus. Phillipians 4:14 “I can do all things with Jesus” But you’re at an AP Exam - this is hell and Jesus is not nearby.) So it’s okay if they’re too hard babe.

6. If you can’t think of book references for an argument - think of the news, appropriate films, and personal experience. If you have none, make one up. THIS IS NOT MORALITY. THIS IS SPARTA. DONT BE KILLED by lack of literary references.

7. Remember that you are a deep thinker. Most teenagers are baby pool shallow. So if your writing is ass - dig out that insight and prove you are at LEAST 5'6 deep. NOW GO FORTH MY YOUNG NIGGA.

Little AP test week things:

“Wait that’s today?”

“I don’t care all I’ve got is one mechanical pencil and I’m using it”

“I think I may have spelled my name wrong on the bubble sheet what do I do”

“I’m about to take a $92 nap”

“If I get tears on this will it still go through the machine”

*pulls handfulls of mints out of backpack* ok I’m ready lets go

“What’s this class called again?”

Reblog with a crazy thing you've written on an AP exam frq.

Don’t say anything too specific though cuz the collegeboard will get ya.
I’ll just start by saying I took four this year and the last question of the last exam was just idk.idk.idk.idk. So I said something to the effect of “I have no idea and honestly I don’t care anymore”.

That moment when you completely forget a word during the AP Lit essay 2 portion, but you need it in order to make your point, so you end up calling the relationship between Elizabeth-Jane and Henchard Fuckface as “masochinistic” because you just make up a fucking word. Instead, you accidentally spell it, “masochistic” for the entire essay and you realize 2 hours later that masochistic is a word and what it means and realize that you just kinked an AP exam. 

Just me?