communication 2.0

anonymous asked:

“i don’t want to go to bed angry.”

Robert wrapped his arms around himself as he watched Aaron fling pillows from their bed, making room to sleep. He usually made a joke about the amount of decorative pillows Robert had put on their bed, but not tonight.

Tonight, Aaron’s shoulders were stiff, his posture closed off. They’d been fighting all day, over small things like Aaron using all the milk before Robert could have breakfast, and then, well it had escalated, Aaron furious when he found out Robert was negotiating a new contract with Home Farm and the Whites. 

“Aaron -”

“What, Robert?” Aaron snapped, yanking his side of the duvet back. “Are you going to tell me I should be happy about this? I’ve heard it all, how it’ll bring in plenty of money for us, and funnily enough, I don’t care. You being involved with that family has always brought us nothing but hassle, and I’m not going through it again.”

Robert shifted uncomfortably, watching his husband carefully. “It’s late, we should sleep.”

“I was trying to.” Aaron practically growled back, getting under the covers, switching his bedside lamp off before Robert could even attempt to get into bed.

In the dim light given by his own beside lamp, Robert clambered into bed beside his husband, a knot of worry in his stomach. “Aaron?” he said quietly, the two of them in complete darkness now, Robert having switched his own lamp off.

What, Robert?”

“I don’t want to go to bed angry.” Robert finally managed to get the words out. They’d been going to counselling for a few months now, marriage counselling, and the one thing their counsellor always seemed come back to is the idea of not going to bed angry.

Not going to bed without letting each other know how much the other means.

Aaron shifted so he was looking at Robert, his face having softened slightly at Robert’s admission. “You are an absolute idiot, but I love the bones of ya. Alright?” he said, his words putting Robert’s worries at ease.

“I love you too.” Robert breathed out, the words bringing him as much comfort as he knew they did Aaron, when he said it. 

“I’m still going to be angry with you tomorrow.”

Robert nodded. “That’s okay.” 




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Stargazer Lounge 2.0 

 ~ An EA lot makeover ~

The original “Stargazer Lounge”, built over 30 years ago, has been totally renovated to cater to those seeking pleasure in an upscale and modern environment.

It still retains the essence of its past life; but it now features floor to ceiling windows to take advantage of the beautiful city views. A second floor was added with additional karaoke rooms for private parties, and a room has been set aside for local musicians to show off their talents. 

The main floor provides various seating for intimate chats, a bubble blower for whose that wish to unwind, and a dance floor beside the heated pool. And don’t forget the bar, which is staffed by our award winning bartenders!

We hope you enjoy the changes that have been implemented in the new “Stargazer Lounge 2.0″. See you soon!


  • Lot size: 40 x 30
  • Cost: $167,179
  • Lot location in my game: Uptown, San Myshuno
  • Lot type: Lounge
  • Lot trait: Romantic Aura


  • I have all expansion, stuff and game packs
  • Enable the “bb.moveobjects” cheat before placing the lot.


This lot can be found in the Gallery under my Origin ID: erisema or via: #simgurl

The Invasive and Compulsory Binary System Within the Transgender Community

I wrote about this awhile back, but since then I’ve added some new thoughts and experiences. Think of it as a 2.0 version. ;)

Since discovering the language to express my gender identity within the last year, I have felt a great sense of empowerment, freedom, and validation. I am able to move through the world identifying in a way that makes sense to me in a way I didn’t even know possible. I am able to embrace the parts of myself that I didn’t think were acceptable to embrace as the “girl/woman” I was socialized as. I am able to make a deeper connection to my queer identity and also connect with others who feel the same empowerment and solidarity in embracing trans and non-binary identities. But I’m hesitant to claim trans, and I’m not alone in this dilemma.

I am non-binary.

I am not a woman. I am not a man.

I am somewhere on the spectrum, and never static.

I use gender neutral they/them pronouns and I like to fluctuate between the terms non-binary and genderqueer, as they leave room for fluidity and change.

I am femme, and because of that particular aspect, my trans identity is particularly complicated.

My hesitation is intrinsically linked to the fact that society holds a warped and inaccurate perception of transgender and what it means, defaulting to viewing it as a single identity and abandoning the complexity that gender identity truly embodies. Though transgender is an umbrella term for ALL who do not identify as cisgender (the gender one is assigned at birth), it is not the binary structure that society has appropriated it to be, which continues to view gender as a dichotomy, and ultimately reinforces the idea that “authentic” trans identity is either “male to female” or “female to male”. This doesn’t mean that there aren’t trans folks who identity within the binary genders, and I am in no way seeking to invalidate their experiences or identity, but rather, I seek to challenge the single story of trans in our community and how that skewed representation further marginalizes a large amount of folks who identify as trans.

Due to the pervasive gender binary system, mainstream society’s inaccurate ideas of trans folks having to go from “one gender to the other” is the only definition of trans that is known and, more importantly, accepted. And I understand why; look at what little trans representation we have in the media: mainly Laverne Cox, Janet Mock, and Caitlyn Jenner. All trans women who self-identify as women, and in addition, fit the gendered stereotype of what “women” look like in Western society, as they are feminine in the sense of our cultural ideas of femininity, and they are all conventionally attractive when examined through the perspective of Westernized beauty standards. Again, I am not working to invalidate the identities of these folks, nor assert that they shouldn’t express their gender identity in a way that reflects the larger societal expectations of transness. Rather, I am calling to attention the ways in which queer identities and narratives are often constructed by the larger society to reflect cis-heteropatriarchal ideas and resist more complex and radical ideas and politics surrounding identity. Representation of trans folks who identify within the binary is not inherently an issue; the issue is that is the only representation that is being displayed and accepted in the larger society and even within queer/LGBT spaces. Just because I look like what our society has constructed as a “woman” doesn’t mean my gender identity is invalid. I can wake up feminine one morning and feel more masculine the next. I can feel both at the same time, or one more than the other sometimes, and that’s okay.

The problem with seeing transgender identities through a binary lens is that it erases and further marginalizes the non-binary identities that also fall under the trans umbrella, implying that there is only acceptance and validation for those who “pass”, or conform to traditional ideas of how “men” and “women” should look. It also implied that all trans people want to pass as cisgender, which is not always the case.

It tells us that masculinity belongs to men and femininity belongs to women

It tells non-binary folk that they MUST fit into one or the other, or they are not trans or trans enough.

It tells my trans-masculine partner that he can’t be on testosterone, use masculine pronouns, and reject the label of “man” simultaneously.

It tells me, a non-binary individual, that because I present as feminine, I must be a girl, and cannot identify as transgender/non-binary, the community in which I belong.

It tells trans boys and men that they are not allowed to be feminine, or they aren’t really trans boys if they are lacking a particular amount of masculinity.

It tells trans women that they can’t be women unless they are inherently feminine in the ways society values femininity.

It leads to the misconceptions around transgender as an identity in which can be different for many.

It leads to uncomfortable and unacceptable questions from friends, medical professionals, and strangers, such as “when are you getting surgery? Are you on hormones? What do you have down there? When are you going on hormones? How do you have sex? What is the name you were born with?”

Side note: No one is “born” with a name.

Ultimately, the problem with the binary lens is it frames the idea of being trans as one particular experience, which takes away the beauty of fluidity that trans and non-binary identities permit. The binary system, in connection to the transgender community relates being trans to physicality and only physicality (hormones, genitals, physical appearance), which inaccurately clashes against the reality of trans as an identity.

There are trans folks who don’t feel the need to go on hormone replacement therapy or have surgery. There are some trans folks who do. There are some trans folks who experience dysphoria on multiple levels, and there are some trans folks who don’t. But we are a diverse, fluid, and non-conforming community, and that is just the point.

We as a society need to look past the single story of what it means to be transgender and look more in depth to the variety of identities within, embracing the idea that other folks know their gender better than anyone else, and refusing to question that. We need to be just as accepting of the trans folks who don’t “pass” in society as the ones who do. Additionally, we need to stop assuming that all trans people want to pass. We need to let trans boys be feminine and let trans girls be masculine if they please. We need to let non-binary folks claim the trans identity without feeling like they can’t because they “appear” to be one gender or the other. In essence, we need to stop assuming anyone’s gender, and additionally we need to lift up the experiences and narratives of those who have diverse gender identities.

Maybe then, with that mindset, we can get past the microaggressions and inappropriate questions, the locked gender roles that are in place even for transgender folks, and the idea that somebody who “looks” like the gender they are assumed to be may not be correct; and accept that without questioning. We can stop telling non-binary folks (especially those who are read in society as cisgender) that they are not trans because they don’t want to physically transition. We need to get past viewing gender as two genders in opposition to one another. We need to acknowledge that just because there are identities we haven’t heard of, those identities still exist. If we can get past these things, we can work on focusing on what is urgently important in the trans community:

Trans women of color are globally the largest demographic of assaulted and murdered people.

Black trans women in the U.S. have a life expectancy of 35 years old

Almost half of transgender folks attempt suicide in their lifetime

The pervasive transphobia in our society leads to transgender folks facing disproportionately higher rates of job and food insecurity.

Houselessness in transgender communities is on the rise, and trans populations in higher education in the U.S. continues to fall.

It is legal in most states in the U.S. to be fired for being trans, or turned away from housing.

In several U.S. states, it is legal to kill a trans person as a result of “trans panic”, defined as ask a jury to find that a victim’s sexual orientation or gender identity is to blame for the defendant’s excessively violent reaction. The perpetrator claims that the victim’s sexual orientation or gender identity not only explain – but excuse – their loss of self-control and subsequent assault of an LGBT individual.

There is so much more in the community to be addressed, but what the binary system works to do within the trans community is shift the focus from these issues to the body, the physical transition (while assuming that’s necessary), the level at which someone “passes”, and ultimately, to only accept certain transgender folk as authentically trans.

With that, it takes the attention and focus away from the very real, very imminent, human rights violations, violence, and pervasive macro and microaggressions that transgender folks face every single day. That is what we truly need to focus on.

Because, my friends, we as the transgender community are in a state of emergency.

Speaking is not Communication 2.0

All day long I can hear people talking out loud…

But when you held me near, you drown out the crowd…

Old Mr. Webster could never define, what’s been said between your heart and mine…

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me…

There’s a truth in your eyes sayin’ you’ll never leave me…

The touch of your hand says you’ll catch me if ever I fall…


Credits go to Ronan Keating for the lyrics