Both my partners are living together hours away from me and I don’t have any way of contacting either of them and recently I’ve been having a lot of relationship insecurities. Usually I talk them out with my partners but I can’t do that and I don’t know when I’ll be able to speak to them again. I don’t know what to do.

It sounds like your inability to contact them is the core issue here - my advice is to consider that situation an emergency and do what you need to do to resolve it. Is it a person in your life or their lives who is being controlling and restricting contact? Is it an issue of access to technology? Is it funding? Make a plan to get some kind of contact in place, whether it’s sending emails from a library or writing letters or buying a burner phone. Start a GoFundMe, enlist a friend to help - do what you have to do.

If you really can’t talk to your partners, you’ll have to find other ways to work on those insecurities. Try journaling about them, joining a polyamorous chatroom or forum, talking to a therapist, spending time with friends you trust, or working on a self-help workbook focused on whatever you’re specifically struggling with.

Talking to animals via vibration

You know the thing you do when you see a puppy or a kitty or a huge glorious cake?? You get good feelings swelling inside, it charges the air around you. Animals respond to those feelings in the air. Letting out loving and respectful vibrations from your heart center relaxes them and opens them up to communication. I’ve used this method for years and I rarely have issues with any animals. Thing is animals can pick up really well on this, if you are giving out fear they will know and reflect this fear usually. Give them kindness and they will usually reciprocate. They will also know if you are grieving, having anxiety or have become ill. 

I use this when hiking or camping, by interacting this way with wild animals/nature I guarantee a safer trip. I let them know that I am no harm to them and I respect them. They will in return respect me and my space, generally. Use common sense though, don’t take raw food with you while camping or hiking. Freeze dried is safer. 

Tips for starting vibration communication:
1.Meditate daily it can be for 5, 10, 30, or 60 minutes. No matter how long it helps center and increase your ability to sense and project your energy. 
2.Stop fearing animals. You would not believe how many people I run into that are scared of things like small birds or squirrels. They can feel your fear. Not fearing them doesn’t mean you want to go hug them it means you just let them live, and you give yourself peace. 
3. Look upon them as a relative, we are all connected through life, don’t look at them as some kind of pest or monster. Some of the biggest can still be gentle.
4. Spend time outside just sitting and observing, it will familiarize you with your local wildlife and let them get used to your presence. Animals can usually recognize people and will remember the ones who don’t chase or try to hurt them.

Be aware, even domestic animals can turn on people, they are still an independant living being. They can have their own points of view and moods. There has been some research in recent years that animals can actually get something similar to dementia like humans develop. A friend of mine had her own dog turn on her and her other small dog. If you have ever cared for a friend or family member with that illness you know how easily they can become confused, violent, or disoriented. It does not mean that the dog/cat is a monster, it can just be sick. There is no cure though, and they have to be put down.  Also always try to wash your hands after petting a domestic animal. 

Disclaimer: please dont try to touch wild animals, or feed them. Making them comfortable in your presence is alright, but use common sense. I’m not necessarily saying they will attack you, but they can also carry ticks, rabies, or other diseases/bugs.

how the signs start a conversation

check mercury

aries: boldly ~ aries will come out of nowhere with something to talk about, the conversation will usually be short and quick but full of enthusiasm or new ideas.

taurus: slowly ~ taurus take their time starting conversations mainly because they like to think things over. their practical nature tends to make people listen to them more as a result.

gemini: sporadically ~ much like aries, geminis like to start a conversation randomly and quickly, they often interrupt others because their thoughts are so scattered.

cancer: easily ~ cancers tend to ease into conversations, often beginning with formalities and polite small talk before getting to the main point. they usually are very thoughtful.

leo: loudly ~ regardless of the volume of their voice, a leo’s authority makes it easy for them to be heard. they use creativity and warmth to win the attention of others while also standing out.

virgo: orderly ~ virgos tend to avoid being flashy but still appreciate their intellect being acknowledged. they control conversations by focusing on little details or planning what they have to say.

libra: smoothly ~ libras are diplomatic when it comes to talking and try to please everyone with fair intellect. their charm gets them a large audience but they can seem like a perfectionist with the rants and tangents they go on.

scorpio: urgently ~ scorpios aren’t the most talkative sign but when they want to talk, they try their hardest to get straight to the point. they enjoy observing and discussing more deeper matters.

sagittarius: optimistically ~ they enjoy looking at the big picture and don’t care too much about little details or organization. they tend to have flaws in their arguments due to their scattered thinking, but their enthusiasm can convince many.

capricorn: methodically ~ capricorns tend to start talking slowly, mainly because they need to organize and structure their thoughts. they tend to be skeptical and authoritative.

aquarius: quietly ~ although they enjoy breaking the rules, aquarius tend to quietly slip into conversations without being flashy. they enjoy arguing and often win due to their intellect. this can cause them to push their ideas on others, giving them a subtle authoritative demeanor.

pisces: softly ~ pisces aren’t too concerned with details but will be good listeners. this results in them seamlessly entering conversations with indirect statements or the occasional rambling when they get the chance. they have a tendency to fib in order to avoid offending others.

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One of my favorite things about Maggie is that she is an excellent communicator AND listener. Regardless the situation, she will always try to make sure things are okay and/or that the person she is talking to has an open channel to communicate further, if they want to.  If they don’t want to talk about it, she never presses further. You can tell it’s important to her that the people she cares about are okay. That they feel that they are being cared about. That they feel they are being heard. 

Maggie is excellent at detecting changes in verbal and non-verbal cues and understands the communication atmosphere on another level. She is always gentle when questioning further and doesn’t seek to just get answers; she questions to understand. 

This is such a wonderful characteristic because you can see just how much Maggie cares for those around her. She wants to make sure there isn’t conflict in her relationships and that those she cares about are emotionally healthy. While we don’t know her backstory, we can gather that Maggie values healthy communication in her relationships and prioritizes others’ emotional well-being, even over her own. Protecting those she loves is of high priority

Maggie really cares about those she surrounds herself with and she values clear and open communication. Maggie Sawyer is a model communicator and a wonderful girlfriend/friend. 

Aries Mercury: Mind is always ablaze, tongue easily lit on fire with risky messages, decisions on a whim. Popping with mental sparks.

Taurus Mercury: Mind as sturdy as a mountain. Persistent dreams. Decisions are weighed on heavy branches reaching out to the physical world.

Gemini Mercury: Spread and gain info like the wind. Mind always racing. Observant bird. Quicker than you. Bright eyes. Jokester. Gossiper.

Cancer Mercury: A locked room to open and discover. Let’s your secrets sink to the bottom of the sea. Reads your discomfort or joy. Gets it.

Leo Mercury: Warm and spirited words. Confident presentation. They are what they say. Their expression sticks like ash and shines like the sun.

Virgo Mercury: Owl eyes + song birds mouth. Thoughts go through gears of analyzation. Guilty pleasure is gossip. Always listening…

Libra Mercury: Poet’s mouth, sweet nothings fall out. Peacemaker mind. Decisions are always balancing on a scale. They ask if you want to not will you. 

Scorpio Mercury: Are your oceans as deep as theirs? Give them late night talks. Spots sailors intention immediately. Motivator. Influencer.

Sagittarius Mercury: Words inspire. Wields knife called truth. Exaggeration is temptation. Heart on their sleeve. Smiling eyes. Laughs much.

Capricorn Mercury: Keeps to themselves inside a cave of information. Powerful voice. Prove you’re worth listening to. Helps you decide.

Aquarius Mercury: What did they just say? Goofy, speaks in riddles. Watches you more than you realize. Impatient like the breeze. What a mind!

Pisces Mercury: Stuck in a dream world. Romantic and creative mind. Says what you want to hear. River of impressions. Feels what you say.

Typical Traits of Mercury in the Signs

What style of communication do we use? How do we make decisions? How do we pick up, process, absorb, and exchange information? These questions are answered, in part, by Mercury’s placement by sign of the zodiac. Mercury refines the Sun sign, and it helps to define how we take in and give out information from the world around us.

ARIES:

  • fast decisions, often driven by the need for instant gratification 
  • childishly assume that others will accept their opinion smoothly, criticism or negative feedback can be taken personally
  • excellent at promoting their new ideas


TAURUS:

  • rely on their senses when it comes to processing information (smells, noises, and mood)
  • brutally honest. That “say it like it is” style gets mistaken for rudeness and disrespect sometimes
  • when it comes to learning, they prefer demonstrations, concrete answers, and basic concepts


GEMINI:

  • they know a little about everything, though their learning is a little superficial — they generally have too many interests to delve too deeply into any one
  • a nervous energy here is unmistakable
  • able to quickly spot human weaknesses and then play around with them it’s done, usually, with a sense of humour


CANCER:

  • very subjective and personal (if Sun in Gemini or Leo they may come across as more sensitive than they actually are)
  • fast at forming opinions and making decisions on first impressions
  • best listeners of all the signs


LEO:

  • they speak with authority, some come across as know-it-alls
  • very attached to their opinions, taking pride in their beliefs, which are often rather idealistic, desire for self-expression
  • with intellect and ego so closely tied, the ability to separate fact from fiction can be complicated


VIRGO:

  • adept at organising, planning on a short-term scale, and doing errands 
  • capable of learning a lot
  • rarely flashy in their communication style, but they do appreciate it when others acknowledge their brainpower


LIBRA:

  • very diplomatic,  long for equality in the intellectual world
  • trying too hard to score intellectual points instead of truly listening to people, which often comes across as self-centered
  • extraordinarily uncomfortable with extremes of opinions


SCORPIO:

  • tendency to focus on the false in order to get to the truth 
  • very distrusting towards strangers’ opinions, therefore observant and wary
  • absolutely driven to win every argument, which they usually reach with the help of destructive criticism, sarcasm and manipulation 


SAGITTARIUS:

  • communicate in an optimistic, forward-looking manner, their ideas are generally very big, not focused on details
  • restless intellect, they learn best when they are given the freedom to think for themselves
  • they’ll be the first to spot bias or prejudice in everyone else’s communication, but they can be a little blind to their own


CAPRICORN:

  • easily get frustrated when too much information is thrown at them at once, tend to close themselves off
  • don’t appreciate being taken off guard, and they quickly become impatient with people who don’t honour their word
  • ability to listen carefully and to choose their words wisely


AQUARIUS:

  • enjoy breaking the rules, even though they aren’t necessarily loud or flamboyant people 
  • their perspective on issues can be delightfully unusual, quirky, and surprisingly insightful
  • always express their opinions, speak up for themselves, sometimes in a quite detached and even impolite way


PISCES:

  • an unpredictable way to communicate, you never know when they’ll be in a quiet mood or a yakking state 
  • dreamy and indirect, it’s easy to adapt them to anyone’s belief or decision, they are an easy target
  • they instinctively express what others want to hear to make them feel comfortable, which often comes across as lies
Want to Improve your Communication Skills?

1. Listen carefully when others are speaking. Keep your mouth shut – and focus totally on them.

2. Never, ever talk over other people. This is disrespectful – and a real turn off.

3. Even if the person leaves an hour between each word, resist the temptation to complete their sentence for them.

4. Don’t interrupt - let the other person finish. Then, acknowledge what they’ve shared before adding your own thoughts.

5. Paraphrase or summarise what’s just been shared. It shows that you have listened – and are keen to understand.

6. Maintain good eye contact as this says you’re interested, and the speaker and their story are important to you.

I want people to stop thinking that alternative methods of communication are subpar to speaking

I want people to stop treating signed languages, writing and various technology as stepping-stones to “speaking properly”

I want people to stop treating people who can’t speak verbally like they’re less intelligent for their inability to use speech

I want more emphasis in disability circles to be put on the general ability to communicate rather than just the ability to speak words

communication ability > speaking ability

Not all people are the worst, but let’s be realistic here: If you’ve tried to talk to your friends about your problems, and they laughed at you, ignored you, or told you that your problems don’t matter, it’s entirely possible those friends are assholes.

But it’s also possible they are perfectly normal human beings who just happen to be the wrong person to talk to about that particular problem.

Saying “you should talk to someone” is like saying “you should take some medicine.” So, what medicine? Because it kind of matters. You don’t want to treat insomnia with a high dose of laxatives and uppers. You don’t want to treat a floppy boner with that burning muscle relaxant gel that makes it feel like your skin is being devoured by fire ants.

If you don’t pick someone who knows about your situation, you may as well be rambling about thermodynamics to your cat. When you’re having money problems, asking for advice from your friend who’s on the verge of eviction could result in an extended, “Oh screeewwww yooooouuu …” At the same time you wouldn’t ask the rich, silver-spoon friend who thinks you can buy a house just by cutting back on coffee.

5 Mistakes You Make When Trying To Talk About Your Problems