communal

About as long as I have been on this blog, I’ve never seen our African, Caribbean or Afro Latina sistas talk about about tragedies in their home. Like the zika virus, or the flood in I believe it was Nigeria or Ebola. We always hear about what’s going on here in the states, but I also care about what’s going on with your home. Most of the time we have to get our news from you guys. I just don’t want you guys thinking that here in the states we don’t care about our other sistas. Idk I just feel bad because we don’t be knowing what’s going on but you guys know about our brothers and sisters killed from police brutality here in the states.

Il congiuntivo is the name for the Italian subjunctive. This is a mood rather than a tense and is used quite often in Italian day-to-day conversation. 

How to form the subjunctive:

In the present tense, the subjunctive is formed by taking the infinitive stem and adding these endings depending on the type of verb: 

-ARE verbs: -i, -i, -i, -iamo, -iate, -ino

-ERE verbs: -a, -a, -a, -iamo, -iate, -ano

-IRE verbs: -a, -a, -a, -iamo, -iate, -ano 

Forming past tense (passato prossimo), means using the auxiliary verb in the present subjunctive tense and adding the past participle. This is why it’s very important to know avere and essere as they are irregular. 

Present Subjunctive Avere: 
abbia, abbia, abbia, abbiamo, abbiate, abbiano 

Present Subjunctive Essere: 
sia, sia, sia, siamo, siate, siano

Similarly to the present tense, the imperfect subjunctive is formed by taking the infinitive stem and adding endings: 

-ARE verbs: -assi, -assi, -asse, -assimo, -aste, -assero

-ERE verbs: -essi, -essi, -esse, -essimo, -este, -essero

-IRE verbs: -issi, -issi, -isse, -issimo, -iste, -issero

…and like the past tense, the trapassato is formed by using the imperfect subjunctive of the auxiliary verb. 

Imperfect Subjunctive Avere:
avessi, avessi, avesse, avessimo, aveste, avessero

Imperfect Subjunctive Essere:
fossi, fossi, fosse, fossimo, foste, fossero

When to use the subjunctive: 

The subjunctive mood seems to be used in Italian a lot more often than in French, for example. In general, the subjunctive is used with verbs which express wishes, thoughts, beliefs, worries, and doubts… and it is pretty much always used following the word ‘che’. 

you didn’t know
that I have spent
countless times wondering
if ever I could find
a home in you, if I
could linger on the
edges and corners
of your spaces
but you never let me
stay, you never let me live
inside you and I think
that maybe you will never
let me.
perhaps that’s just how
it is, that’s just how
we are, we long for people
to stay, to linger
yet we don’t let them
close enough to.
—  Kai Masa
Gaining Confidence

Sometimes I feel down about being a young black women, because other people of my race would bring me down. I am gaining confidence to accept who I am as a young, educated, African American lady. No one has the power to take my confidence away that God has given me. I refuse to be in the shadows anymore. I stand my ground and fight for what I believe in.

Card Confessions:
Today at Barnes and Nobles while I was checking to see if they had any new Tarot decks, I met a really nice mother and child at the New Age section of the store. The child, who was about twelve or thirteen years of age was asking for a set of Unicorn Oracle cards but the mother looked down, almost ashamed and said in a more quiet tone, “Maybe next time, we just paid our rent honey.” The child looked sad and put the deck back on the shelf as the mother kept reading through her angel book, trying not to notice the child’s disappointment. I remember both those looks. The look of not being able to afford something your child wants, and the look of disappointment after finding something that resonates with you but you can’t obtain it because there just isn’t a means for it. I decided to not buy my usual coffee and biscotti, or my own deck for that matter and decided to do something selfless. I sneakily went to the other end of the new age section, picked up a copy of the unicorn oracle deck and the angel prayer book the mother was thumbing through. Practically ran to the front of the store to pay then ran slowly back to the section of books where they were. Nervously I told them, “I want you to have this. I apologize if I am intruding but I wanted to pass on some goodness. I remember being that age and being interested in these cards. They have given me so much hope. Even till this day.” The mother looked at me, then looked in the bag. At first, she said, “oh no you didn’t have to do this.”  I told her that her bond with her child resonated with me and reminded me of my family. I gave her the bag and she hugged me on the verge of tears. She gave her child the deck, they hugged me, thanked me and then I left on my way to the train station.  


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Since there still seems to be confusion, I'm writing a thing for witchlings.

If I write anything incorrectly or get any information wrong, please let me know. It’s 1:25 AM and I’m barely able to keep my eyes open as I type this on a phone screen.

Since many witchlings are still learning and seem to be misguided (NO fault of their own) on the various terms used in the community, I’ve decided to write out a rather straightforward post to help clarify some confusion.

Here goes nothing.

*cracks knuckles*

Wicca is an earth- based religion. It is about 60 years old and has traditional rituals and sets of beliefs Wiccans follow such as the Wiccan Rede and The Law of Three. If you are not Wiccan, you do not need to follow these beliefs.

Witchcraft is an ancient practice or art that can be practiced in a number of ways. It does not require a religion or religious “flavor” in order to be valid.

Paganism is an umbrella term used to categorize polytheistic, sometimes earth- based religions and practices that can include Wicca, Voodoo, Hoodoo, Santeria, Druidism, and other religions and practices. Some of these religions and practices are CLOSED. Research which ones are closed (Voodoo, Hoodoo, and Santeria definitely are closed practices). Native American (Indigenous) cultures are also closed. This means you cannot borrow terms, rituals, or practices from them.

BUT WAIT!

Unless you are:

*Raised in an indigenous tribe and have exposure and experience with their practices and traditions

*Raised learning about a particular practice/culture/tradition through family/community

it’s both disrespectful and inappropriate to borrow from closed cultures/religions. It doesn’t matter what some random New Age author tells you (I’m talking to YOU, Silver Ravenwolf, you disrespectful scumbag. Don’t worry, I’ll get to you soon on another post) if it’s appropriate or not to use a certain concept or term from a closed culture or practice. It is not their judgment call to make.

What actually matters is what the cultures and members of the communities THEMSELVES say. If they say “Please do not steal or borrow our rituals, terminology, or practices” and you are not a member of their community, LISTEN TO THEM AND DON’T STEAL OR BORROW THEIR RITUALS, TERMINOLOGY, OR PRACTICES. It is not yours to take or use. It is not up to you to decide what/why/how you use a certain aspect of their culture or practice as you are not part of that culture or practice.

Research. Read. Read beyond the New Age, Neo-Paganism, and Wicca movement titles. Many of these authors have an agenda they are fiercely pushing. Many times, the information they are wanting for you, the reader, to digest may be factually wrong or biased. Always take what you read in these books with a grain of salt. Who wrote the book? When was it written? Are their sources reliable? Always ALWAYS question.

Ok. Let’s break this down a bit further:

*Not all witches are Wiccan.

*Not all Pagans are witches.

*Not all witches are Pagan.

*Not all witches follow the Wheel of the Year.

*Not all witches work with deities.

*Not all witches are psychic.

*Not all psychics are witches.

*Not all witches use divination.

*Not all divination practicioners are witches or psychics.

*Not all witches work with spirits.

*Not all spirit workers (could include necromancers) are witches.

What’s the point of my writing all of these things? Never assume what someone is and/or what their practice consists of as you may not always be correct in your assumption. Another important tip: Do not take your personal beliefs and attempt to shame or guilt trip another person because their practice is different from yours. It will not end well. Rather, be open to learning about different paths and practices.

Ask a person what they are, what they call themselves, and what their practice is made up of, and (if you’re curious) how long they’re been practicing. If their blog has a FAQ or About Me page, read it. It is full of information about themselves and may most likely answer some questions you may have had for them.

I truly hope this helps people. If I come across as condescending or nasty, it is not my intention. We have all been there, starting off on a new spiritual journey full of wonder and questions yet sometimes feeling overwhelmed and confused. It’s okay! Learning is part of the process. If you make a mistake, it’s okay. The way to make the mistake worthwhile is to learn from it and grow.

Best of luck to you, witchlings. You will eventually make it. Give yourself time.

So I feel like sooner or later we all need to talk about this thing that many people with physical disabilities and illnesses go through where…it’s not quite PTSD but it’s not quite not PTSD either. Because PTSD sort of implies that there’s one trauma whereas this is that feeling that most people with physical disabilities get when they’ve spent their entire lives dealing with hospital visits and pain and terrifying things like operations or medical emergencies and it affects them for life even in the tiniest ways like them not being able to be in a room with bright lights because they look eerily similar to the operating room lights or always knowing where the door is in a room in case of medical emergencies or panicking slightly when they hear beeping because beeping means that the monitors don’t like something or not sleeping because in a hospital you don’t ever sleep (*glances at the clock, realizing that it’s 1:47 AM*) or not being able to eat a certain food because you ate it in the hospital every day for weeks or having the pain scale memorized right down to the faces etc. etc. etc.

And the thing is almost everyone with a physical disability goes through this but nobody in the abled community even knows because even though we go through it every single day, it’s become so commonplace that nobody talks about it and I really feel like we should. 

reminder that asexuality isn’t a cohesive identity and can only accurately exist as a modifier to a pre-existing orientation or to describe a complete lack of attraction and while therefore being a real identity that exists and faces problems it does not have any kind of unique narrative needed to make it an inherently lgbt identity.