Killian Jones, Emma Swan and the nuances of deeply emotional love-making.
A psychologist’s POV on why this particular couple hinting at sex riled up an entire fandom.
So what was it?
We have all been exposed to TV sex and (I assume) most of us have been exposed to a certain degree of personal intimacy with a significant other in our lifetimes. I’ve been witness to some unbelievably explicit TV sex myself, but I can say that not once before in my life, has the notion of an OTP “getting it on” made me daydream anywhere near as hard as Hook and Emma did last night with only the hint of post-climatic morning sex taking place on a kitchen table. I was emotional. (A bit hot n’ bothered too, but mostly emotional).
But why? What is so different about these two??
When we think about how things got started for this particular couple, it’s been a struggle for both, one in which many of us can maybe relate. Maybe you’re the lonely girl who lost faith? The guy who lost everything and is terrified of ever embracing love again? Maybe you’re both. all I can say is, we as humans have ALL felt this way, some maybe on one particular situation and some others could be facing ongoing faith trials in their lives. Regardless, seeing that an orphan and a bucaneer can find home, stability, and happiness is an overwhelming slap in the face. It’s super easy to throw the towel in; staying on the road and fighting, that’s what’s hard!! So to find these two connect that way, it’s almost like finding our own answers on the pages of a book. It’s almost therapeutic (though it would be completely unprofessional of me to say CS is a replacement for therapy, should you need it, lol), and this reaches very deep for some and many.
Now about the sex… why does this particular fandom crave to see them show at least a certain degree of sexual intimacy?
Killian’s question “Have you ever been in love?”, comes into play here. Have you ever been in love? because if you have, you will know very well how sex can change and solidify a bond between two people who are already developing such a strong connection. On a chemical POV, sex is basically a survival tool, designed to make us want it to the point of it being damn near unstoppable and thus guaranteeing reproduction. But there is something more: The bonding. The magic of Oxytocin, where your brain releases such unbelievable amounts of the stuff you find yourself suddenly unable to be without that other person. You find yourself even MORE joined together after sex than you did before, even when you didn’t think it was possible.
There is a huge huge HUUUUGE difference between the gratifying satisfaction that comes from casual sex and the overwhelming sense of completeness, peace and togetherness that derives from lovemaking, both individually and as a couple. Just think about it for a second: Love-MAKING. You are MAKING love. Making it. You are enacting love with all you have: Your body, your soul, your everything. You can only say “I love you” so many times before you feel like those words alone just don’t cut it: You want to become that person, be a part of his or her body, to be as close together as you possibly can, to find a way for your souls to commingle and embrace without the limitations of physicality. Is there physical desire though? Of course there is, we are also biological beings with a libido that needs a release. But when you are in love, there is another fuel behind it, a fuel that is not necessarily derived from just the attraction of “banging a hot guy or girl”. No matter what that person has done or what he/she looks like, you desire that person. You start to overlook the flaws, physical or character-wise, and you look deeply, into that person’s very soul, the soul you want to touch and be a part of… the person you LOVE.
So have you ever been in love? Have you ever made love, or been made love to? If not, you will know it when it happens to you… and if you have, then you will know exactly what I’m talking about.
Killian Jones was the first to fall in love in this situation. He suddenly found himself being rescued from a darkness he never believed could be overcome and there, at the end of a dark, dark tunnel, stood one Emma Swan. He felt intrigued and followed her into the light, only to find himself helplessly drawn to her on a much deeper, spiritual level. His way of proving himself to win the heart of the woman he now unquestionably loved was through loyalty. Unbarred, undeniable loyalty. And for a woman who was used to abandonment, finding a solid rock beside her who would be there for her regardless of the consequences was easily the biggest brownie point in her Captain Hook tally. Now they’re together, finding ways of fighting for that love and to keep it strong, burning hot and always beautiful.
Love-making is the next logical step; these two kids have desire for one another (that they’ve actually had for a long, long time) and while I am sure that they have already done the deed before the glorious little nuance from last night’s show, for us to witness that intimacy, that strength and that bond, is almost a reminder that there is a love strong enough for all of us, and that when we do find it, we have to hold on to it, tooth and nail, because regardless of it being an ever after love or a love affair that lasts less than what you hoped for, true love is solidified through unstoppable, devoted, deeply emotional and romantic sex, whether it’s slow and passionate or fast paced and fiery. It’s just that last bridge to cross to entirely become one with that other soul you love so much.
So there it is, kids. Hook and Emma love each other. And to many of us, this almost flawless, picture perfect version of what love could be (and actually really is with all it’s ups and downs and fights and blowouts and great, great sex) is what we all aspire to achieve at some point with our significant other. And what a fine example they are!!!!