uncontrollably laughing and crying, like i’m going mad…
i have my good days and bad days like anyone else, & i’ve no clue which way this one will go as yet… it’s cyclical, ebbs & flows….
this is mostly stress-related, compounded and accumulated, finally taking a toll (again).
it’s been a while since i’ve been this bad.
when i lost lana, i suppose i threw myself into work to a bit of an extreme. i burned out big time this round, & now having lost my income, i’m back to a very insecure position.
i could ‘suck it up’, go back to the cube farm corporate gigs, but i can assure that the periods toward burnout will only occur more frequent & harsh.
hunting for a shrink is surprisingly difficult in this town. it’s been decades since i’ve been hospitalized. i couldn’t afford the debt if it were an option. isn’t capitalism grand?
going to my GP today, refill of meds rigmarole, then back to my art — the only thing i find worth living for right now.
it’s not all doom & gloom. there’s still kitteh cuddles, bad sci-fi & crazed maniacal laughter.