do u think its okay to use a label i don't identify with 100% for the sake of convenience? like i think im masc nb but i want to come out as a trans boy just so it's easier to explain/come out? is that ok?
So we’re at a friend’s house having a party because he’s back in town from work . Everyone is pretty drunk hanging around the bon fire . One of my “buddies” starts throwing around offensive terms regards the lbgtq community . I ask him politely to stop . (Mind you the little brother of my friends house were at is gay )
I told him it’s not cool and he needs to stop saying those words .
So then he proceeded to call Me those words . And mocking me for telling him to stop .
Hence I got more abrasive. Getting up in his face a little . (Drunk) and he tried to initiate a fight . Stilllll using the offensive words … Took everything I had in me , but I just walked away . . His friends I didn’t know were giggling a little bit as I walked away. .
Eventually I got sick , threw up , and passed out . .
But I’m still pretty salty about the scenario
I just sent a message to one of my friends who I’m about to come out to. I said there is something important I need to tell him. I’m planning on coming out to him as Polysexual first, then if that goes well, I’ll tell him I’m genderflux on a different day. I’m just waiting for him to reposed now. I’m really nervous.
I was down at my parent’s house and I decided I had to go for it. Spent the afternoon writing her a letter, and managed to only get a few tear stains on it. Left it on her desk and left to drive back up just before she got home.
Every time I think I’ve run out of tears, I seem quite able to find more. Explained to my person that it feels weird, like I should be happy-crying. But I suppose it’s so much bigger than that. Just a day of endless cry-crying, I guess.
I’m happy they’re ok and their friends love them, but considering how much it was stressing Bitty out, and how convinced Jack has been that he has to stay 100% closeted, it’s kind of … upsetting that their friends were so flippant about it? Their friends knew, for going on two years, and kept making jokes, referencing girls Jack dated while Bitty looked uncomfortable, and said the idea of Jack and Kent hooking up was ridiculous? They let Bitty and Jack suffer silently? That’s kinda fucked up!
Like in situations where someone partially closeted comes out to a friend and the friend says “I always knew” … the next comment from the queer person is usually gonna be “wait, you did? How?! Tell me what I did so I never do it in front of strangers/my boss/my older relatives/etc. again!” It’s not a funny moment, it’s a terrifying moment. We survive by blending in, by not being noticed, even by those closest to us. Even today, for many of us, staying closeted is the default to keep ourselves safe.
Bitty’s not out to his family. He’s from the deep south and seems to have a contentious relationship with his father already. Jack thinks he has to stay closeted for his career, though he seems a bit more open to the idea of coming out now than he was before. They can’t be visibly queer in public in many instances. (Hell them sitting together in the diner with Jack’s arm around Bitty’s shoulders made me nervous!)
Considering what they’re risking - Bitty doesn’t seem to have an independent source of income, he’s there on an athletic scholarship, and Jack’s y’know, career, not to mention their personal safety - coming out to even their longtime friends is a huge deal. Their friends now have the ability to ruin their lives if they so choose, or if they get really drunk at a party sometime and talk to the wrong person. That’s a really big fucking deal. The time to joke and talk about settling bets is not in that moment. It’s a huge serious thing and their friends should know and understand that.
(Also to all those people I see talking about how now they gotta tell the Frogs … um … fuck no. They barely know those kids, some just joined the team like a few months ago, and many of them can’t hold their liquor. Why the hell would you trust life-shattering secrets with them?)
I know it’s not some dark gritty angsty comic, but Check Please has touched on some serious subjects before. So honestly, I can’t tell how serious the coming out plotline will be handled and it makes me anxious sometimes.
i've been thinking about coming out to my family, or at the least my mom. i'm just honestly not sure how they would react because they're all pretty conservative. my stepdad's even said before that he's rather i "come home with a d*ke than a n*****". i don't want to hide who i am anymore but i don't want them to hate me or shame me.
god, that’s awful. just don’t come out unless you’re sure you’re safe, okay?
Hi, Meg. Congratulations on your coming out. I’m truly happy for you. If it’s not crossing a line, I was wondering if I could ask you some questions about how you figured it out. I’ve been questioning my identity ever since I came out and I don’t really have anyone to talk about it with.
hi!!! thank you :)
it’s definitely not crossing a line, don’t worry, i’m pretty open (maybe too open) about everything on here.
It took me a long time, tbh. I sorta always knew i liked girls but i wasn’t for sure what i would label myself as because i always liked guys too. i thought i was bi for a long time when i found out there was other identities other than gay and straight, and i liked (well thought i liked) guys all the way till my freshman year of college.
I had a boyfriend and obviously i was excited bc OMG SOMEONE LIKES ME and he knew i was bi and was actually bi too. so yeah i was still nervous bc im always nervous, but then he kissed me and i was like “eh its okay” and then well…other stuff happened and i basically hated it. it just didnt feel right, like, at all but i didnt know if it was just him or what.
then i dated two other girls after that and not only was i more comfortable, i was just more….me? ig? and just….kissing felt right, you know? it was like… “yes, this is what its supposed to be like” and i didnt even really like the girl (lol).so for a long time i still called myself bi or pan bc i still wasnt sure (and seriously you never have to be sure, i just want to know or it’ll bother me, personally, but dont ever let someone tell you you HAVE to be a certain something).
and then, get ready for the cheesy shit, i met and fell in love with my girlfriend and we talked about it and i just sort of knew like….i stopped looking at boys (and not just bc i was taken) but i just….i didn’t like it? i don’t know, it was just one of those things where i just didnt want to be with a guy and i just wasn’t comfortable with it. and lots of people say “oh thats just cause you havent met the right guy yet” like……i dont……i dONT LIKE DICK. lmao.. it sounds hilarious and it kinda is but i just like girls.
I still love J2M, like, honestly they are the exception, and thought i talk about them and think about them sexually i’m 99% sure if i were ever given the chance i wouldn’t like kiss them or anything unless it was like an I LOVE YOU kiss.
but, yeah, i don’t know, its a weird process but I’m comfortable like this, I’m comfortable being gay and I’m in love with my girlfriend and I just….I want this, I want to be who I am and, again, finding out your sexuality/identity is something that’s up to you. for me, it just sort of came to realization after lots and lots of….quizzes.
idk if this made any sense AT ALL but I hope it helped <3
My wife, Zoe, is transgender. She came out to us — the kids and me — last summer and then slowly spread her beautiful feminine wings with extended family, friends, and neighbors.
A little coming out here, a little coming out there — you know how it is.
It’s been a slow, often challenging process of telling people something so personal and scary, but pretty much everyone has been amazing.
However, she dreaded coming out at the office.
She works at a large technology company, managing a team of software developers in a predominantly male office environment. She’s known many of her co-workers and employees for 15 or so years. They have called her “he” and “him” and “Mr.” for a very long time. How would they handle the change?
While we have laws in place in Ontario, Canada, to protect the rights of transgender employees, it does not shield them from awkwardness, quiet judgment, or loss of workplace friendships. Your workplace may not become outright hostile, but it can sometimes become a difficult place to go to every day because people only tolerate you rather than fully accept you.
But this transition needed to happen, and so Zoe carefully crafted a coming out email and sent it to everyone she works with.
The support was immediately apparent; she received about 75 incredibly kind responses from coworkers, both local and international.
She then took one week off, followed by a week where she worked solely from home. It was only last Monday when she finally went back to the office.
Despite knowing how nice her colleagues are and having read so many positive responses to her email, she was understandably still nervous.
Hell, I was nervous. I made her promise to text me 80 billion times with updates and was more than prepared to go down there with my advocacy pants on if I needed to (I might be a tad overprotective).
And that’s when her office pals decided to show the rest of us how to do it right.
She got in and found that a couple of them had decorated her cubicle to surprise her:
And made sure her new name was prominently displayed in a few locations:
They got her a beautiful lily with a “Welcome, Zoe!” card:
And this tearjerker quote was waiting for her on her desk:
To top it all off, a 10 a.m. “meeting” she was scheduled to attend was actually a coming out party to welcome her back to work as her true self — complete with coffee and cupcakes and handshakes and hugs.
NO, I’M NOT CRYING. YOU’RE CRYING.
I did go to my wife’s office that day. But instead of having my advocacy pants on, I had my hugging arms ready and some mascara in my purse in case I cried it off while thanking everyone.
I wish we lived in a world where it was no big deal to come out.
Sadly, that is not the case for many LGBTQ people. We live in a world of bathroom bills and “religious freedom” laws that directly target the members of our community. We live in a world where my family gets threats for daring to speak out for trans rights. We live in a world where we can’t travel to certain locations for fear of discrimination — or worse.
So when I see good stuff happening — especially when it takes place right on our doorstep — I’m going to share it far and wide. Let’s normalize this stuff. Let’s make celebrating diversity our everyday thing rather than hating or fearing it.
Chill out, haters. Take a load off with us.
It’s a lot of energy to judge people, you know. It’s way more fun to celebrate and support them for who they are.
I have no time for people invalidating Mara Wilson’s coming out because of “the timing”
This is her way of dealing with the Orlando tragedy. By adding her voice to the millions of other LGBT+ people spreading messages of love and support. It’s not “bad timing” or “capitalising”. By showing solidarity with the community, she’s giving more young LGBT+ people another positive role model in this time of tragedy.