coming apocalypse

concept playlists;

you’re lying on mossy forest floors, slowly transforming into a nymph, your fingers are turning into flower vines, your limbs are bleeding honey & growing thick skins of sepia bark, wings sprout in between your shoulder blades. your breath sounds like the wind. fireflies litter the air above you

you’re hold up in an abandoned church, outside there’s a raging storm & a horde of zombies roaming around, pressing up against the entrance doors. you & a small band of survivors are staying inside for the night in hopes to ride the bad weather out. you take first watch & listen to these tunes on an old ipod while everyone else tries to get some rest & the undead crawl outside, awaiting the taste of human flesh.

you’re in your boyfriend’s pickup. he’s asleep in the passenger seat, you’re driving without a destination in mind & you have the window down as you let the cool night air whip against your face in a state of pleasant delirium

you’re on a rooftop somewhere, there’s 5 am air on your skin, streetlights glint like coins at the bottom of wishing wells from where you sit. you’re feeling peaceful for the first time all week

you’re lying in the middle of a crop circle forty miles from your grandma’s old house waiting for aliens to come and abduct you

it’s four pm in the afternoon and you’ve got your head in the lap of the only boy you’ve ever loved & you’re reading jane eyre & he’s sipping on tea & it’s the kind of weather where it’s just warm enough for you to pretend it’s summer & it’s drizzling & you’re listening to the rain beat softly against the windowpanes

you’re curled up in bed as it pours outside, there’s a citywide blackout and the last candle you had left has finally blown out, but you feel strangely at peace within the warm, all-consuming dark

you’re making out in the bathroom of a house party with someone that makes you feel like you’ve swallowed the sun

you’re standing amidst a city you burned to the ground. the apocalypse has come & gone. all that’s left is ashes & mortar & sad bones but you’re feeling empowered. a slow smile creeps up your lips as you realize how you’ve always wanted to watch the world burn

you wander into wonderland and now you’re suddenly being crowned fairie queen, apparently there’s a prophecy waiting to be fulfilled 

it’s mid morning but it’s dark outside from the rain. you thought the tapping on the window was from the rain but it’s actually a crow that flickers out of sight when you look directly at it

you’re sipping on cherry cola by the pool on a lazy sunday & you’re feeling younger than you’ve ever been

you’re summoning old ghosts in an abandoned parking lot on a smoggy thursday night

The Great Flamingo Uprising

(Edited after additional information was obtained from zookeeping cousin)

I told this story to a few guildies a while back and decided to archive it in a longer format; so here is the story of The Great Flamingo Uprising of 2010 as told to me by my favorite cousin who was a keeper at the time.

In addition to the aviary/jungle exhibit, our zoo has several species of birds that pretty much have the run of the place.  They started with a small flock of flamingos and some free-range peacocks that I’m almost certain came from my old piano teacher’s farm.  She preferred them to chickens.  At some point in time they also acquired a pair of white swans (“hellbirds”) and some ornamental asian duckies to decorate the pond next to the picnic area.  Pigeons, crows, assorted ducks and a large number of opportunistic Canada geese moved in on their own. 

Now; the ponds that dot the zoo property (I don’t remember how many there are but the one by the picnic area is the only one with swans) were also full of ginormous koi fish, some of whom by now are at least three feet long.  Sensing an opportunity to cash in on the koi, the zoo put up little vending machines all over the place that dispense handfuls of food pellets.  I swear to god the fish can hear the crank turning, and will show up at the nearest railing, blooping expectantly at whoever happens to be standing there and doing their best to appear starving and desperate. 

Like this.^  And they weren’t the only ones who learned to associate the sound with the imminent arrival of food.  The Canada geese knew a good deal when they saw one, and had long since ceased to migrate anyway.  They formed roving gangs of thug-geese and staked out their turf around the vending machines, ready to mug anyone with pocket change.  Picture yourself as a small child squaring off with a bird as big as you are fully prepared to strip search you while standing on your feet and yelling “HWAAAAAKK!!” in your face.  It’s deeply traumatizing to you and incredibly hilarious to your parents.

Anyway.

The flamingos had their spot near the zoo entrance and never seemed to mind the presence of the other birds, as they kept themselves to themselves and didn’t really like the taste of fish pellets.  The problem lay in that their shrimp pond was close to a vending machine.  Ordinarily that wouldn’t have been an issue at all, but eventually the goose population grew large enough that one of the gangs decided to annex it.  Being territorial little shits, they would harass the poor flamingos any time they strayed within ten feet of it.  The flamingos tolerated this for years until one day they snapped collectively.  Here’s a summary of the incident in chronological order.

1.) It was a hot day, so everyone in question both human and avian, were cranky by the time the zoo even opened.
2.) A few flamingos (let’s call them The Jets) strayed into the radius of the vending machine and were immediately confronted by the indignant hissing geese (The Sharks)
3.) Possibly due to heat and the simple fact that the geese had been giant douchebags for far too long, the flamingos decided fuck it, this time they were going to FIGHT BACK DAMMIT, and swarmed the geese en masse.
4.) Chaos ensued.  The geese were outnumbered 4 to 1 but had the advantage of being able to scream for back-up. 
5.) Hearing the shrieking Canada geese and the bellowing of the enraged flamingos, the peacocks came to the conclusion that the apocalypse had come upon them and began to gather in the surrounding trees in droves and wail in despair.  Or cheer them on, whichever.
6.) NOISE
7.) Apparently one of the siege tactics employed by geese is to shit explosively all over everything.
8.) The geese, having secured reinforcements from all over the zoo, went berserk and proceeded to attack EVERYBODY who had come to watch be they human or otherwise.
9.) The flamingos were chasing/being chased by the geese through the crowd accompanied by cheers/wails from the peacocks in the box seats.
10.) Complete pandemonium when the zoo tram became stalled by the flamingo pond due to battling birds.  The Jets, sensing these were somehow reinforcements on the side of the Sharks, charged the tram.  Adults were doing the duck and cover.  Small children were screaming, adding to the noise.  People were slipping on goose shit and hitting the ground in the fetal position, only to be stampeded by the rampaging flamingos.
11.) The koi continued to bloop hopefully for food.
12.) Two of the geese were cornered by a rival gang of their own and were chased into the swan pond.  Cue slow-motion.
13.) The swans detected an enemy presence in their territory and by god, SOMEBODY was going to PAY. 
14.) The staff were having no luck in breaking up the fight and on the verge of giving up and just building another zoo elsewhere when the hellbirds stormed the battlefield, trumpeting battle-cries, to dispense feathered justice.  The staff promptly dropped their brooms and fled.
15.) Birds scattered in all directions.  Up, down, sideways.  Some people not present in the park circle swear a couple of geese flat out teleported into the petting zoo. A few ducks vanished in the chaos, presumably eaten by the swans.
16.) Two of the zookeepers barricaded themselves in the snack bar and refused to come out. 
17.) The uprising was squashed in less than two minutes.  Number of casualties was unknown, feathers were flying everywhere and there was enough goose shit to build another bird.  One staff member had been knocked to the ground and was left with a melon sized bruise courtesy of one of the hellbirds.  Several children were traumatized, probably for life.  The zoo eventually removed the vending machine by the flamingos. 

The geese went back to being giant douchebags. Because geese*.

Addendum:  Somehow, my aunt D got hold of this story and posted a link along with the comment: “This sounds exactly like our zoo!” 
Zookeeping cousin replied: “This was exactly our zoo.”

*I’m really not kidding.  This is a photo, taken at our zoo, of a gorilla being chased by one of the thug geese.

The zombie apocalypse has come. But so has the robot apocalypse, and the Illuminati takeover, and the alien invaders… It seems everyone played their hand at the same time.

Don’t feel well? Watch Brooklyn Nine Nine. Long day?  Watch Brooklyn Nine Nine. Fallen out with everyone you love? Watch Brooklyn Nine Nine. Pet ignoring you? Watch Brooklyn Nine Nine. The pressure of living life under a society thats unfair getting to you? Watch Brooklyn Nine Nine. The apocalypse coming? Watch Brooklyn Nine Nine. 

Watch Brooklyn Nine Nine. 

AN IMPORTANT REMINDER TO EVERYONE WHO HATED THE TMNT 2012 FINALE

(seriously, almost all the “Tales” in season 5 are just non-canon “What If?” side-stories)

somebody told me nightcore mp3 rip
somebody told me nightcore mp3 rip

The year is 2012. You and your friends just got back from another day of voting for Barack Obama and reading Fifty Shades of Grey. You decide you want to play a nightcore mp3 of “Somebody Told Me” ripped from a YouTube video featuring a static picture of an anime girl.

As the song plays, the song gets more nightcore and the mp3 quality gets shittier. Grumpy Cat appears and has a dance battle against Honey Boo Boo. The apocalypse is coming.

Papa Bird Headcanon

So by now, I think most of the fandom can agree that Warren has certain “bird-like” instincts, like preening or imitating mating rituals.  One thing I haven’t seen people comment on is the fact that male birds make Really Good Dads.

No, seriously, offspring care is shared equally between both parents in most bird species and some species even have the male be the primary care-giver.  Since Warren doesn’t have any kids of his own, this usually means he has an uncontrollable urge to protect and nurture any child that comes within five feet of him.

At first, no one notices.  Warren’s got a tough-guy persona going on and everyone assumes he doesn’t really like kids.  Then one day, one of the younger students comes up to Warren and asks if she can pet his feathers.  Everyone braces themselves because they’re sure Warren is going to yell at her, but he just kneels down and is like, “Sure, okay, just be careful” and lets her pet him.

After that, there’s no use hiding it.  Warren’s surrounded by too many kids to bother covering up these instincts, so he sort of embraces his new roll of unofficial babysitter.  It becomes an unwritten rule among the younger kids that if you have a problem, Warren’s the one you need to find.

Fell and scraped your knee? Go find Warren, he’ll fuss over you and get you a band-aid.
Can’t reach something on the top shelf? Go find Warren, he’ll fly up there and get it for you.
One of the other kids is picking on you? Go find Warren, he’ll intimidate them into leaving you alone.

Pretty soon, Warren’s just got a gaggle of little kids following him around between classes like a line of ducklings.  The girls think it’s the cutest thing ever.  Scott and Peter tease him mercilessly about it.  Kurt’s a sucker for a man with dad skills and is ready to propose whenever he sees Warren carrying one of the smaller kids around or letting them fall asleep on his shoulder.

Whether or not Lup’s full name is “Chalupa,” the idea that Lup is Taako’s twin really gets more plausible the more I think of it.

Considering that:

  • We can take it as more or less fact that Lup is the Red Robe Taako got the Umbra staff from, since it wrote her name on the wall in an attempt to communicate.
  • She was also probably the one Barry Red Robes loved since he almost lost his form when he heard they’d found her, and since the voice in Taako’s head said “love Barry.”
  • It’s also likely the voice in Taako’s head, the one that filled him with a feeling of intense love, was channeled through the Umbra staff in some way. 
  • The Umbra Staff refused to be used by Magnus, and instead leaped back to Taako’s hand when he tried to loan it to him. Presumably Lup and Magnus were friends as well, so that provides pretty strong evidence she has a special connection to Taako that she doesn’t have to the others.
  • Something that at the time was just the result of a dice roll but might be retconned into the narrative–Merle tried to take the Umbra staff and it threw him off. Taako was able to grab it successfully, possibly because he was the only one who the staff would allow to take it.
  • We know his connection to Lup is not a romantic connection since Taako is gay and Griffin wouldn’t put some random straight romance in his backstory that Justin had no say in. It’s possible they’re just very close for some other reason, of course, but a family relationship seems like the most obvious direction to go.
  • We’ve already seen sibling elves who became liches and who doesn’t love character parallels?
IT masterlist - 24.11.17

reddie (richie tozier x eddie kaspbrak) -

  playlist


  •  truly madly deeply : request // Eddie reflects on his and Richie’s relationship. (future fic) pastel!eddie x punk!richie warnings : SUPER fluff af


  • smoke rings : request // eddie finds richie smoking and he’s not happy about it. (future fic)warnings: angst & smoking


  • wonderless : request // eddie admires his boyfriend from a far. (future fic) warnings : minor sexual implications  


  • same game : request // five times eddie kaspbrak was oblivious to richie toziers flirting and the one time he wasn’t. (modern au) warnings : none


  • loving someone : years after the IT incident, the loser’s drift apart due to misunderstanding on eddie’s behalf. the misfits haven’t been the same since that summer. now eddie comes face to face with a mistake he made six months prior and his world gets turned upside down all because the losers didn’t try hard enough. (future fic) warnings : depression, suicide, homophobia, self harm, drugs
  • part one
  • part two
  • part three
  • part four (coming soon)


  • running on ice : request  // pastel!eddie x punk!richie, someone flirts with richie’s man and he’s not happy. (future fic) warnings : none


  • cigarettes after sex - short drabble list  I heard one song from this album and feel in love with the idea of this just being a reddie album so I wrote these lmao. they don’t have to be read in order, ships include : reddie, stozier, stenbrough, stanlon, kaspbrough, beneverly, streddie



  • joker and the thief : request (coming soon) // zombie apocalypse


stozier (stan uris x richie tozier) -

  • prompts : “I love you” “I hate you” “Go fuck yourself” (coming soon)


headcannons -


moodboards -


shitposts -  

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listen i knew the moment that I saw @yuutayo‘s revamped apocalypse au that i HAD to cosplay it, and i finally got an opportunity to get the gang together at AFO this weekend! We looked so awesome i’m so happy ;w;

Shiro: @soysombra  Lance: @eccentric–fox  Matt: @backupmakeshiftlifeinwaiting and special thanks to @sabinecosplay for taking the group shot <3

EDIT: SO FAR THIS HAS BEEN TURNED OUT TO BE A HOAX. PLEASE SEE OTHER, PERHAPS MORE RELIABLE RUMOR, FROM HERE

REMEMBER ALSO REBOOT VERSUS XIII PETITION

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