comforter-set

the private you
  • applies to both Moon and IC. the private you, but also a deep part of you. it's possible that you can relate to it more than any other signs because it's a deep part of you, it's your foundation
  • Aries IC/Aries Moon: needs independence from loved ones, so isn't always present. this need isn't obvious though. quick to react. privately wilful and sexual. wants to explore all things and all desires and not hold back. inwardly feels separated from everyone. intense feelings dominate but this is not obvious, feelings often kept hidden. secretly wants to be alone, might feel bad for admitting it so just does things alone anyway. not afraid to act by itself.
  • Taurus IC/Taurus Moon: privately very stubborn and resistant, and privately needs comfort in all things. wants to have beautiful things and comfortable things, but in private, comfortable settings (i.e. they might pretend that comfort isn't a priority for them to not seem like babies, when really it is). privately lazy and loving. rarely change their lives once it is in a settled pattern. emotionally blunt.
  • Gemini IC/Gemini Moon: wants to have an intellectually stimulating open house system. inwardly feels bipolar and changeable. cleverness is kept private, as are all their thoughts. interested and observant of everyone but doesn't make this known. usually do not express emotion and tend to intellectualise just about everything.
  • Cancer IC/Cancer Moon: whatever they own will be held very closely. wants to belong to a close-knit circle so close that they consider themselves family. tends to protect and take care of. inwardly is an emotional mess and nostalgic but this is kept private. feel a lot, but rarely express a lot. sensitive to anything from their past. easy to express simple emotions like joy, but not easy to be vulnerable and show anything deep.
  • Leo IC/Leo Moon: wants to be the entertainer but in private, comfortable settings. inwardly feels special and creative. ego can dominate but is kept private (i.e., you'll deny that feelings or ego dominate) the full extent of your creative gifts may also be kept private, but you inwardly feel very creative. needs to feel regal and august.
  • Virgo IC/Virgo Moon: very helpful and competent, but privately. domestically refined, secretly critical. very perfectionistic and usually doesn't express emotion. wants to be of use to people but in private, comfortable settings. inwardly feels inadequate or that there is always more they should be doing.
  • Libra IC/Libra Moon: strong desire for companionship and tend to not enjoy being alone. ask people constantly for advice on what to do. wants to share and be relational, but in private, comfortable settings. inwardly feels sensitive and indecisive. needs to feel equal, i.e. the woman who must feel equal to a man, and vice versa. secretly diplomatic and a peace-keeper. struggles with comparing themselves to others.
  • Scorpio IC/Scorpio Moon: when emotions hit they are powerful and they feel chaotic. often emotionally dramatic. wants closeness and intensity but pushes people away at the same time. inwardly an emotionally troubled person, tends to hold onto intense hatred. struggles with emotions and whether to act on them or not. despite this, their intensity is only shown to their loved ones.
  • Sagittarius IC/Sagittarius Moon: feels like they are able or wants to travel and leave home in the blink of an eye. needs to feel free. emotionally irresponsible and will reject whatever does not give them freedom. wants to explore cultures and the world, but in private, comfortable settings. inwardly feels rootless and lost. constant searching.
  • Capricorn IC/Capricorn Moon: dislikes being shown affection unless they initiate it. needs to feel respected. emotionally responsible and capable. wants recognition but in private, comfortable settings. ambition is strong but can be kept private. inwardly feels serious and does not find it easy to spontaneously express joy or sadness. usually this does not bother them as they prefer to keep to themselves.
  • Aquarius IC/Aquarius Moon: often feels pressured to express emotion but just can't fake it. needs to feel free and respected for their knowledge and unique traits. wants friendship and kinship. platonic love dominates over romantic. inwardly feels rootless, empty and fiercely resistant. wants to be open and ridiculously funny and eccentric, but in private, comfortable settings.
  • Pisces IC/Pisces Moon: no emotional boundaries. wants connections that feel special and glamorous to fulfil their own need for something that is so otherworldly. often escapes reality. compassionate and sensitive, but in private, comfortable settings. inwardly feels like a lost soul, so clings to fleeting things that allow them to escape.
  • I've also found that planets in the 4th house, and Moon aspects to planets can apply here too. i.e., Neptune in the 4th house can relate to the Pisces IC/Moon. Jupiter in the 4th can relate to the Sagittarius IC/Moon, Mercury for Gemini and/or Virgo, etc. Moon-Pluto aspect can relate to Scorpio IC/Scorpio Moon. Moon-Uranus aspect can relate to Aquarius IC/Aquarius Moon.
  • Examine your IC, 4th house and Moon to explore who you are deep down.
  • The IC sign is the foundation of your entire chart.
Shh || Tom Holland

Relationship: Tom Holland x reader

Summary: there is barely a plot its just goes from fluffy to sexy times

Warnings: S M U T (18+)

Word Count: 1222

A/N: this fucker has been harassing me for far too long i had to write him


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tarot prompt list

a tarot card inspired prompt list for all your shipping needs, feel free to use any one aspect of a prompt you wish, or let it inspire you in your own way~

  • the lovers: love, harmony, mutual attraction
    “I love you so much.”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: fluff, soulmate au, confessions, mutual pining
  • the fool: innocence, playfulness, recklessness;
    “Let’s go on an adventure!”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: treasure hunter au, worrying, games  
  • the magician: transformation, beginnings, good omen;
    “I guess today’s my lucky day.”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: first meeting, supernatural au, witch au  
  • the high priestess: magic, dreams, knowledge;
    “I had this dream, and now…”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: visions, sold fortune, magic au  
  • the empress: passion, ferocity, fertility;
    “You cannot do this!”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: motherhood, protectiveness, villain au  
  • the emperor: authority, discipline, stubbornness; 
    “You will do as I say.”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: kingdom au, argument, enemies to lovers
  • the hierophant: community, learning, rituals;
    “We’ll always help each other out, right?”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: found family, highschool/uni au, teacher au  
  • the chariot: sacrifice, struggle, travel;
    “I’m sorry… I have to do this.”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: boss fight, (assumed) goodbye, traveller au
  • strength: courage, obstacles, urges;
    “Together, we can do this!”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: slow burn, action movie au, fighting together 
  • the hermit: solitude, withdrawal, introspection; 
    “Leave me alone. Please.”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: hurt, stranded au, feeling-focused, lost  
  • the wheel of fortune: optimism, success, luck;  
    “We did it! I can’t believe it!”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: genie au, chance/fated meeting
  • justice: karma, honesty, decisions;
    “I don’t know what to do.”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: superhero au, dealing with consequences  
  • the hanged man: suspension, potential, indecision;
    “I can’t stay here, but I don’t know where to go. I’m stuck.”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: prison/ex-convict au, internal conflict  
  • death: destruction, loss, change; 
    “I lost you. And it was unbearable.”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: stages of grief, new beginnings, ex au  
  • temperance: communication, healing, moderation;
    “I’m here for you. You can talk to me.”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: comfort, deep talks, hugging, woundtending  
  • the devil: failure, lust, temptation; 
    “You want it too…”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: desire, nsfw, unrequited love, demon au  
  • the tower: drama, catastrophe, pride; 
    “Don’t be like that!”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: angst, (post)apocalypse au, break-up
  • the star: renewal, hope, rest;
    “I feel at peace.”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: star-gazing, lazy days, cuddling, spirit au
  • the moon: emotion, fantasy, confusion;
    “That’s rough, buddy.”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: fantasy au, werewolf au, late night talks  
  • the sun: joy, friendship, prosperity;
    “I’m so happy.”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: friends to lovers, love realization, coffee shop
  • judgement: awakening, resurrection, absolution;
    “Why did you have to do this?!”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: reincarnation au, criminal (au), mistakes
  • the world: fulfillment, experience, completion; 
    “Do you remember, back when…”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: old age, happy end, fantasy world au
How to Increase your Motivation to Study

1. Reward yourself for studying and working on assignments. However, you need to do this after you’ve done everything you planned to do!

2. Study with others (But make sure you work and don’t just socialise.

3. Keep your long-term goals in sight. They’ll slip through your fingers if you don’t do the work.

4. Cut out distractions. If you’re surrounded by things that you’d rather do than work, you’ll probably abandon your boring studying.

5. Develop an interest in the subjects you’re studying. That way, the work won’t be such a drag.

6. regular breaks. These should be at logical points in your work. That makes it easier to resume your studying, and to remember what you were working on before.

7. Work somewhere bright, warm and comfortable.

8. Set reasonable study goals for each session.

9. Start early in the day at weekends, and early in the evenings on week days. The longer you put it off your studying, the harder and more onerous it seems.

10. Just do it. It’s surprisingly rewarding to do something that’s tough!

Ok so, anti Kylo Ren people - I don’t understand them. Not in the sense that I can’t understand why someone wouldn’t like Kylo - you like what you like or not - but it’s the analysis of the character, something you can interpret on a sliding scale of better or worse accuracy, that strikes me as profoundly odd. It’s completely in defiance not in just to what we’ve been given in the material but also to the things the directors and actors have said themselves explicitly. Which is just…weird. It’s like alternative facts land. It gets especially weird when comparing him to Anakin, which antis always seem to do in a way that treats suffering as a vulgar balance beam of precisely measurable and predictable quantity and quality. 

“Unlike Anakin, Kyle Ron grew up with 2 parents who loved him”

No offense but - so?? Barring the very few wrongheaded outliers who label Han and Leia as abusive and uncaring (and to whom antis seem determined to sniff out and then cling to like a barnacle as a way of judging the wider fandom), most of us recognize the genuine parental love Han and Leia have for their son. My question is since when has love alone ever been enough to keep a young man from falling into darkness? Especially when said young man is growing up in a complicated family situation. If that were the case our world would be a less fucked up place than it is now.

Yes, Han and Leia loved Ben. But guess what? You can love your child and still be a dysfunctional family. You can care a lot for your kid and still make bad choices. You can still try to do your best and fail miserably. You can even do these things and inflict damage because you love them so much. Leia recognizes this - she thought she was doing good in sending Ben away to Luke for training. She was wrong and the decision hurt rather than helped, regardless of her intentions. She said so in the fucking movie.

I find it funny that the people who are vehemently against the idea of love, either from Leia or Rey or Luke or whoever, playing a part in Kylo’s redemption because they think love doesn’t redeem bad men and the notion is toxic are the same people who think love should have kept Ben Solo from becoming Kylo Ren in the first place. That’s some outstanding cognitive dissonance. The idea that because Han and Leia loved Ben and he grew up in a materially comfortable setting compared to his granddaddy somehow eliminates for him profound suffering and turmoil or immunizes Han or Leia from making long-lasting errors as parents and human beings is laughable to me. 

I grew up with a super critical and moody father. It often felt like he didn’t like me or my brother. It was only later that my dad confessed that he thought he was being helpful by chewing us out all the time even though it had the opposite effect on us. And my dad loved the shit out of me. But he didn’t realize the damage he was doing and it wasn’t intended but his own flaws kept him from realizing that and by then, the damage was done and there was no taking it back. Granted, I didn’t join a murderous regime, but then again I don’t live in a galaxy far, far away.

To refresh, reminder that these are canon facts: 1. Han admitted to being uncomfortable around Ben because of his powers. 2. According to both Carrie (”We neglected him a little”) and Adam Driver (”having these incredible powers and not having his parents really be around”), and supplemental material (Bloodline) that Leia and Han ran a contentious household with their work keeping them divided at times. 3. Ben didn’t even know about his true heritage and he found out not through his family but through someone outing his mother as Vader’s daughter. By then he had already been sent to Luke to learn to control himself.

And honestly, to reduce the Solo/Organa family situation as being informed above all else by the love Han and Leia had for their son is to completely erase the strength that outside forces had in tearing the family apart. 

Antis will unfavorably compare Anakin’s life to Kylo by saying “Anakin was a former slave who was then manipulated by Palpatine so it makes him more understandable” but like uh Ben was preyed upon by a dark entity since he was in the womb - since he was in the womb. Mama Leia says even says in the movie that it was Snoke who seduced their son, so I don’t get what distinguishing Palpatine’s manipulations while erasing Snoke’s does except make anti-Kylos look like hypocrites. 

And then there is this whole “Han offered Kylo redemption and he didn’t take it so that’s that!” 

Yeah. Han offered Kylo a chance to come back. It was the last thing he did. And he did it 6 years after Kylo fell. And after 29 years of constant struggle and misunderstanding that constituted Ben/Kylo’s life. He did so at Leia’s prompting. Not that he didn’t want his son back too - he did and he was sincere about it - but he also showed more doubt than his wife. This is gonna sound harsh but from an in-universe perspective and certainly from the character’s perspectives that’s not good enough. That’s not to downplay the love with which the gesture was made or the wrongness of Kylo’s decision. But what Han offered in that moment was just that - a moment. And redemption needs more than a moment, it requires a journey. Han even acknowledges his failures in the last moments of his life, hoping that Kylo will someday forgive him too.

What Han did wasn’t showing a way back, it was a more of a drop-everything-and-run-away-with-me proposition that did not resolve all the underlying issues subsequent actions that led to their estrangement in the first place. 

Again, there is a certain irony that anti-Kylo/anti-redemption folks who quip this line that Han was offering redemption and Kylo rejecting it and killing him therefore his chance are over are often the same ones who scorn the idea of Rey or Leia playing a role in Kylo’s redemption. Yet (putting aside that this is mischaracterizing how most of us envision the redemption arc going) by taking the position of the former, aren’t you contradicting yourself with the latter by acknowledging that yes, redemption can be given through love? Because that is what is being said when you say Han had the solution. 

At any rate, the way back must be something that Kylo finds on his own, not have given to him, with others serving as influences and inspirations but not as his patrons of good. This whole analysis of redemption being closed to Kylo Ren, of him being a “privileged white boy” who threw it all away or of his life being so comparatively better than Anakin’s thus rendering any parallels between them moot is just wrongheaded. There is a lot we don’t know yet and have been promised by those involved in the film to see, including Kylo’s “humanity”. If you’re one of those people with the viewpoint that I have spent this entire post taking down, my honest to god non-snarky recommendation is that you either adjust your reading of the material and change your expectations or not see Episode 8 at all. You will be profoundly confused, angered or disappointed otherwise.

10

Reveal: The New Honda Civic Type R

Honda has revealed the all-new Civic Type R at the 2017 Geneva Motor Show, ahead of the model’s European launch in the summer. The new car builds on Honda’s heritage in developing high-performance hatchbacks, and represents the segment’s ultimate expression of dynamic purity.

Sharing the same fundamentals as the new Civic hatchback, the new Type R has been engineered from the ground up to deliver the most rewarding drive in the hot-hatch segment – both on road and on the race track.

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Originally posted by imaginesfortwilight

Not my gif. Gif credit goes to the amazing creators!


Anonymous said:Could you do what it would be like to be Jasper Hale’s mate? Thank you :))


A/N: Heya, lovely! Thanks so much for requesting! Jasper is truly one of my favorite characters, so I really loved writing this one! Sorry it took awhile to write, I hope that you enjoy what I’ve come up with and it’s what you expected! - Admin Kat 💟


Being Jasper Hale’s Mate Would Include:

- Obviously Jasper knowing what you’re constantly feeling, and due to that, having a deep bond.

- Tracing over all of Jasper’s battle scars, declaring that he’s still handsome, no matter what.

- Jasper explaining his past tensely and becoming very protective over you.

- Being Jasper’s mate won’t ever be boring.

- Constant teasing.

- Sex.

- Like seriously, the best sex ever!

- I believe beds and other objects shall be broken!

- Rough sex.

- Passionate sex.

- Hugs from behind.

- “Darlin’, I don’t know how I ever got by without you.” Jasper would hum attentively into your ear.

- He’s not really that into PDA, but you know, he gives off the vibe that says “Back off! They’re mine!

- Jasper won’t always be the type to say ‘I love you’, but he makes that heavily known in lot’s of other ways.

- The entire Cullen family loving you.

- Constant teasing from his adopted siblings.

- If someone upsets you, Jasper will be all over it! (And vice versa.)

- Despite Jasper’s experience and such, you’re very protective of him, which he finds really cute and hilarious.

- Little arguments or fights here and there, - unless called for, e.g. putting yourself in harms way, etc.).

- Definitely being a power couple.

- Turning heads when you walk by.

- Jasper would be ‘reluctant’ to cuddles, but let’s face it, he’d deeply love it. So he isn’t going to start it, but won’t stop you from initiating it.

- I think that when you’re at home, alone or in a comfortable setting, you’d face one another and playfully slip each other’s hands into the other’s back pockets.

- Jasper being too serious and you lighting up the mood, forcing him to smile.

- “Don’t worry, Jake! Ain’t nothin’ but a chicken wang!” you hollered after the chuckling wolf.

- “And I believe Emmett can come up with something better than that, darlin’.” Jasper would laugh.

- “What? Aren’t we meant to be comrades with them or something?” you’d inquire truly clueless of what you’d said.

- Having your own peculiar and useful gift that Jasper is totally fascinated by.

- Asking Jasper, - in the beginning of the relationship -, to make you feel different emotions/sensations because you think that his gift is cool.

- It’d eventually get a bit dirty because he’d start kissing you, then suddenly you’ll get into the mood (but obviously, if you’re adamant on not having sex, he’ll stop).

- When you’re “in that mood” Jasper feels EVERYTHING you do, so it EXCITES him more.

- You’d love each other wholly, devotedly and unconditionally.


Please keep requesting imagines! If you like it, please follow more.

Cardiovascular Palpitations Part 1 (ft. Jeongguk) [M]

Originally posted by theking-or-thekid


→ fluff, angst, smut, mentions of blood/surgery
Jeongguk ft. Taehyung | friendswithbenefits!au, doctors!au
part 1 | part 2story talk

It was complicated. But it worked. You two were doctors, cardio surgeons at that. Complicated was usual, it was your business, your work, your lifestyle. And neither of you had time for an actual relationship, for the hours of work for writing heartfelt letters or planning dates out on the beach. Both you and Jeongguk needed quickies in the stockroom, someone to dress up and look hot so he can get revenge on his ex, someone to give a blow job or finger you to relax your nerves before an important presentation, someone to understand the burdens and harsh lifestyle of being a doctor. And somehow in that chaos, you’d found eachother and it worked out. 

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10

6`000 Follower-Gift Part 1 ( Tumblr dont let me post all Screenshots in one post )

Gosh, guys! It`s breathtaking! I have no idea what I can say…THANK YOU all so much for following me, like my stuff, reblog my creations and for all your lovely comments! Love you all!

Special thanks to @sssvitlans for reblogging my Creations/recolors. Without you we all would miss a lot of great Creations and creators! Thanks Lana! <3

Here is my “Thank you Gift” for you, Guys.

The Urban City Living-Set.

I post it in 2 Parts, because I have so many Pics that tumblr dont let me post all in one.

What you get:

All Meshes I used for my recolors are inclued!

A big thank you to @leo-sims @chillissims and thenumberswoman on TSR for give the permission to inclued the Meshes!

-Sofa, Loveseat and Armchair ( Mesh by leosims ) - 6 colors

-Pillows ( Mesh by chillisims ) - 30 Swatches

-Big Urban Pictures ( Mesh by thenumberswoman ) - 10 Swatches

-3 Tile Urban Pictures ( Mesh by thenumberswoman ) - 10 Swatches

-Urban Canvas ( Mesh by thenumberswoman ) - 12 Swatches

-Urban Rugs ( Mesh by thenumberswoman ) - 14 Swatches

-Urban Walls - 4 Patterns in different colors

-Urban Carpet - 3 Patterns in 3 colors each

-Urban concrete Floor - 6 colors

I hope you like my Urban City-Set!

PS: Sorry for the crappy pictures/Screenshots! I working on this set for weeks in my short free time I had. After its finaly done, I wanna share it with you today. So I didn`t have the time to make nice pics.

I would love to see when you use my stuff in your pictures, houses, rooms etc. So please tag me/give credit to me ( not a must ). Thanks!

Download

Here goes nearly 3k words of single daddy!Bucky/kindergarten teacher!reader headcanons just because me and @pimpdaddysebastian​ love corny shit. <3

Tag list: @tasting-writers-block​, @nadtandy​, @yoinkpeter​, @ipaintmelodies - I’m still understanding how this works but if any of you don’t want to tagged anymore, hmu with an ask! ;)


A few years in into being an official member of the Avengers, Bucky thinks he’s got everything figured out.

After the accords fiasco and his homecoming, Bucky seems to think that joining the Avengers is the only way he can redeem himself for the harm he’s caused with HYDRA and so he falls just right into the team with his skills, being assigned to special and specific missions by Steve and Natasha.

Since Romania, many things has changed for him – now he’s back in America with his best-friend by his side, a new arm that doesn’t feel like a dirty reminder of his past and a mind to call his own thanks to T’Challa and the wakandan doctors. He’s no longer considered a fugitive, he doesn’t have to worry about looking for his back anymore and he’s glad about having a proper roof upon his head for a change. 

Bucky thinks he’s got everything figured out until he’s assigned to a mission in Germany. 

The gruesome memories of his past hits him hard as he enters the shady lab, originally meant to experiment on humans and mutants but now looking recently abandoned at the word of the Avengers arrival. And even though the atmosphere is way too familiar for his own comfort, Bucky is set and focused to finish the mission. 

That is, until the hears the soft cries of a baby coming from one of the cells. 

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Blue and White Blossoms

@sir-scandalous this is the hanahaki Shance au I mentioned, it was written a few months ago, and I pretty much forgot about it until you mentioned hanahaki disease in a post, and I remembered I wrote something for a hanahaki au. I posted it and hope you like it! 

It might be awful, I’m not the best author.



Lance sat on the observation deck, watching the stars and universe. It was once a dream, to go into space, and to travel the universe… Lance winced as his chest suddenly burst into flames nearly, it hurt, but it was gone just as quickly. He blinked at the stars, something he’s used to seeing so often now.

He managed to go into space, along with his team and rival, and his hero. Thrown into a war they didn’t know about, something ten thousand years in process. Fighting for the fate of the universe, to protect their home planet and many others, most of which had no idea they were even doing it.

It made Lance’s eyes burn with the beginning of tears, and he blinked them back. He was afraid of someone seeing him cry, of seeing his facade dropped. He wasn’t really useful, or talented, but the least he could do is keep the team together, happy and laughing, even if it means he will be hurt in the process and he would suffer in the dark, quiet and hidden.

Lance also knew he was far too self-sacrificing, taking on the anger of the others to keep them from fighting with themselves, hiding his pain and accepting others to bring out smiles. He knew it was not good to do it, but he was far too much like his oldest sister, too self-sacrificing and willing to suffer for others.

Ah, not good… Lance grimaced as he felt his eyes blur, wiping his tears, Lance stiffened as footsteps echoed in the halls, getting closer to him. Blinking away tears and plastering a fake smile, though he could feel he wasn’t doing to good at it, Lance kept his eyes locked on the stars, the footsteps stopped at the entrance, as if he surprised whomever it was he was there.

Well, of course he did, he shouldn’t be up so late anyways. Lance turned and blinked at the figure who had stopped in the doorway.

“Lance? What are you doing up?” Shiro asked, continuing to walk up to him. Lance almost flinched when the pain returned to his chest.

“Ah, Shiro. I couldn’t sleep, figured I would watch the stars.” Lance laughed as he looked out to the stars again, he was afraid to look at Shiro, he was found in a weak spot and he didn’t want Shiro to notice. He wasn’t a fool, he knew Shiro was more observant than he let on, and that was dangerous.

“Oh?” Shit, Shiro didn’t believe him “I hope you don’t mind me joining you” Shiro said and Lance nodded, trying to act tired to make up for his lack of boisterous nature.

Lance stared out at the stars and found his mind turning to his previous thoughts, his older sister Mira. He was very close to her and- Shaking his head discreetly, Lance forced his thoughts away, to talking with Blue, or teasing Pidge.

“Lance? You ok?” Shiro asked and Lance jumped a bit, Shiro was looking at him, trying to see his face. Lance blinked back more tears and turned to flash Shiro a smile.

“Of course!” Lance said, pulling on as much bravado as he could, but he was tired from holding up his mask all day, he hadn’t expected anyone to come into the observatory so he wasn’t prepared to throw it back up again.

“Lance.” Shiro was using that tone, Lance knew it too well, it wasn’t the Lance, enough tone, it was the I’m not that easy to fool, so start talking tone. He’s used it on Lance plenty enough times, but Lance always managed to escape it. No one was around to make a distraction, he couldn’t pick a fight with Keith, or use Hunk as a way of escape.

“I miss home.” Lance said, not entirely telling the truth. Shiro’s eyes softened as he nodded, Lance couldn’t help the feeling in his chest as he realized just how deep in love he was, and just how bad that was.

“We all do… It’s ok to be homesick, we all are. Protecting home is important too.” Shiro said and Lance bit his tongue to keep from lashing out, he was getting irritated, but he knew he shouldn’t be. He wasn’t used to being worried over, it was weird because he was so used to keeping people from noticing, he’s forgotten what it’s like.

“I-I know… I’m not going to leave, I just… feel bad for worrying my family, they have no idea where I am.” Lance said, before shaking his head and letting out a laugh, though it sounded empty to his own ears.

“Lance…”

“I’m fine, just tired is all.” Lance said, standing up and backing away a bit. Shiro stood up as well, and when he reached out to set a comforting hand on Lance’s shoulder, Lance fled.

“Good night Shiro.” Lance said, before turning tail and nearly running from the room. He heard Shiro mutter a ‘good night’ too, but he had been so focused on getting away he didn’t register it much.

Making it to his room, Lance sat on his bed and closed his eyes, clutching his chest as it became difficult to breathe. Lance coughed suddenly, it hurt and burned as he violently tried to expel whatever was in his lungs.

Lance blinked at the handful of petal in his hand, a few violet ones and white petals, blood was with them. Not much blood, but there was still some. A little blood dripped from his chin and Lance used his free hand to wipe it off as he let out a laugh.

Lance knew it was possible, despite how rare it was. He seen it happen, and now, he get’s to learn more about it… Because the seeds have already been planted.

Now they’re blooming, and things are going to get difficult.


Lance had always been told he was so much like Mira, too self-sacrificing and too quick to take the pain of others. Too thoughtful, too selfless, too much kindness and not enough selfishness.

He was too much like his beloved oldest sister, too quick to make people happy, no matter how much it hurt…

Now he was even more like her, falling in love and it being unrequited. Too sentimental to give up his feeling of love, and too selfless to tell anyone about it in fear it becomes requited because of it.

Hanahaki.

Laughing bitterly, Lance crushed the flowers in his hand as he shook his head, tears falling. His love would not be requited, there was no possibility, and because he knew that, and accepted it, they bloomed.

Shoving the flowers into a drawer, Lance cleaned his hands before running one hand through his hair. He knew it was foolish, he was too selfless to fall in love, too quick to accept his fate, too dearly holding on to something knows he can’t have.

Maybe that’s why he laughed, knowing he couldn’t fix it. He knew when the seeds were planted, he knew it, because he knew his feelings, so he knew when they started.

Coughing more, Lance stuffed more flowers into the drawer, wiping his hands on his black flight suit. Sitting on his bed, Lance recalled the day he found out Mira had Hanahaki.

Lance sighed as he finally got home, he managed to escape his bullies. Mira was visiting and he was excited to see her. She had been seeming down lately, her skin grew paler, she lost her bright smiles and grins, and she began to lock herself away. She was coming home more often though, and he he tried to make her happy, telling her stories and adventures he had just to get her to laugh, because she was pretty when she laughed.

He was happy to see her, he never really asked about her, because his Mama and Papa would grow sad. So he kept quiet and waited for the times she would visit.

Running inside, he set his bag down and ran towards her room to see if she was already there, only to stop at gagging in the bathroom. Quietly peeking through the crack in the door, to see his beloved sister vomiting in the toilet. He went in to rub her back and hold her hair back, he did it for his other sisters when they were sick, and some of his long haired brothers. It always made him feel better to know he could help out, even if it was just a little.

“Hermana?” Lance whispered, and his eyes widened in horror when he saw her vomiting up flowers and blood… Lots of it. He panicked and rushed to her, hugging her and sobbing, all the while she cried and hugged him close, whispering in a hoarse voice about how sorry she was.

Two months later, Lance came home and looked for his sister, she began living with them again, only to find her collapsed on the floor, blood and flowers pooled around her body.

“Mama! Mama! Mira, Mama, Mira!” Lance frantically called his mother, who rushed home to find him wailing and hugging his sister. The flowers grew and wrapped around her lungs in vines and blossoms, filling them and tearing them open, while crushing her ribs. She suffocated on the flowers and blood, dying at the delicate age of 23.

It killed Lance inside.

“Lance! Wake up!” Hunk called through the door and Lance jumped, he hadn’t realized he had been so lost in his memories. Tears fell down his cheeks and he was shaking, wiping his eyes Lance frantically shut the drawer with the petals in it. Mira died long ago, twelve years ago, and… He might just join her.

Standing up, Lance put on his armor and left his room, meeting Hunk in the hallway. He missed breakfast so Hunk came to check on him. Lance smiled confidently as he patted Hunk’s shoulder, playing his normal overconfident self.

“Sorry Hunk, Beauty sleep is important!” Lance boasted as Hunk lead him to the kitchen. Him and Hunk talking as normal, the day going by like every other. Training, talking, bonding.

Of course, Lance limited his interactions with Shiro the best he could, because he loved him. It was a horrible thing to know it would never be requited, and he almost got over his feelings for the slightly older teen, only to suddenly help save him and be trapped on the same ship with him. He hid his feelings so well, at least, until he acknowledged he wouldn’t have his feelings returned.

Then the flowers bloomed and his chest began to burn and contract. It got worse the more Shiro smiled and praised, the more Shiro touched him, the more he looked at Shiro.

It hurt, so so much. He wouldn’t let anyone know, and always brushed off their concern with a joke or snarky comment. Shiro would look at him suspiciously, after running into him on the observation deck, Lance never returned, instead hanging out in Blue’s hangar.

Shiro obviously knew Lance was limiting their interactions, and he didn’t look pleased at all. Lance laughed and joked with Hunk, teased Pidge, and bickered with Keith as usual during lunch, but then Shiro walked in and Lance’s chest constricted painfully, the more he was around Shiro, the more his love solidified and the more flowers grew, constricted, and filled his lungs. Lance rubbed his chest, trying to make it seem unsuspicious, before he excused himself from lunch.

“I’m heading to visit Blue.” Lance said as he stood up, Shiro had been there for a few minutes, but the pain was getting bad, the disease was getting worse. Standing up, Lance quickly turned and left the room, aware someone was following him. Turning, Lance tensed, it was Hunk and the look on Hunk’s face told Lance this wasn’t going to be pleasant.

“Lance, you feeling ok?” Hunk asked and Lance went to sigh, but leaned against the wall with a shoulder as he coughed harshly into his hands, eyes widening at the horrible timing, blood poured into his hand, as well as a bunch of petals, blue and white. Hunk gasped in horror.

“Lance! You have Hanahaki?” Hunk cried and Lance looked around, glad no one seemed to hear, because no one came rushing up.

“Hunk shh! It’s fine.” Lance said as he stuffed the flowers and blood into his pocket. Hunk opened his mouth to argue, but Lance shook his head. “Please Hunk, don’t tell anyone.”

“Who? Who is it?” Hunk asked and Lance frowned, he couldn’t tell Hunk it was Shiro. If Shiro knew, he would reciprocate his feelings, and Lance would feel like shit. Hunk set a comforting hand on Lance’s back as they leaned against the wall, Hunk partially blocked Lance from the end of the hallway where the kitchen was. The comforting affection and trust in him had Lance breaking, he couldn’t lie to Hunk anymore, he couldn’t do that to his best friend.

“I-It's… It’s Shiro.” Lance whispered, and Hunk blinked before he began to hug Lance closer. “I didn’t think I fell so hard. It’s… It started blooming when I realized I couldn’t be with him, it… It wasn’t possible.”

“This is going to be just like-” Hunk swallowed heavily, the weight of it hitting him. “Just like Mira…” Lance just nodded, and it was quiet before Hunk took a deep breath and sighed.

“Ok… I won’t tell anyone. But if they find out on their own, I’m not covering.”

“Thank you Hunk.” Lance whispered, leaning into Hunk as he wrapped him in an embrace, Lance loved Hunk’s hugs, it was comforting and warm. It felt safe, even with him dying. It hurt so much more to force his best friend to keep his feelings hidden, the chest pressure and pain was horrible, but he hated doing this to Hunk.

“You know, now I’m dying in a beautiful way.” Lance joked dryly and Hunk groaned as he tightened his grip. Hunk was a great friend, and though he knew Hunk would be distraught about Lance refusing to confess to Shiro, he still would keep his promise. The cure was right there, and Lance refused it, and it was going to kill Hunk inside.

“Please don’t joke about this… Never something this serious.” Hunk said and Lance nodded, before he was released and Hunked watched him go to the Blue lion’s hangar. Lance spent a lot of time there, Hunk often seen him sitting with the Blue lion and talking to her, sometimes he was in the Blue lion, sometimes just polishing her metal. The two were close, even Coran and Allura admitted that Lance and Blue had an unusually strong bond, even for the blue lion being the one of loyalty, bravery, and courage.

Hunk sighed as he turned to go back to the kitchen, blinking a bit in surprise as Shiro stepped out, nearly bumping into him.

“Oh, Hunk. Is Lance ok?” Shiro asked and Hunk nodded, smiling as he rubbed his neck.

“Yeah, Lance is ok. Just a little homesick is all.” Hunk said, turning and going into the kitchen, he was a terrible liar, and if he didn’t get away, he’d break his promise to Lance.


Shiro noticed it more during training, a while after Hunk found out. He had been noticing Lance was seemingly ignoring him, only talking with him when it came to missions, training, or when Shiro scolded him. Lance wasn’t joking around or just talking with him anymore, and it hurt.

Lance had been sparring with Keith when he had jolted, and slid around Keith before dropping his bayard and bolting from the room.

“Bathroom.” was all he choked out as Keith blinked in surprise and the others confusedly looked at each other. Hunk worriedly watched the door, Shiro nearly chased him down, but decided to wait.

It was nearly twenty minutes before Lance finally came back, his eyes were slightly puffy and his hair was ruffled a bit, most likely from running his hands through it. Lance looked pale, and that’s extremely worrying because the teen was normally tan. Lance laughed off their concern his hands stuffed into the pockets of his armor.

Keith grouched at Lance for running off in the middle of their spar, poking at Lance for being afraid, and Lance pointed a dark, kind of damp looking, gloved hand at Keith saying something about Keith’s mullet making him sick.

Shiro sighed and broke up the impending argument, catching on to the quick dodge Lance made to avoid Shiro’s touch. Turning and huffing, Lance turned to Hunk. Nothing was said, but Hunk smiled and Lance grinned back, something didn’t feel right and Shiro resisted the urge to force Lance to speak up. There was something he was missing.

If it was serious, Lance would say something. He never hesitated to say anything before.

“Let’s continue.” Lance said, turning back to Keith after retrieving his bayard. Shiro watched in concern as Lance sparred with Keith, he was hiding something, and it was bothering Shiro…

More frustrating, Lance was avoiding Shiro.

~

Shiro didn’t want to bring it up, and he kept telling himself Lance would tell him eventually. Lance, however, continued to joke around and play it off, avoiding him, and coughing into his hand and dismissing it. Shiro admitted that if it wasn’t for the slight red on Lance’s hand, Shiro may have let it be.

Lance hid it well, frighteningly well that if he hadn’t caught on to something being wrong, he wouldn’t have known. Anytime someone brought up his cough, he would brush it off with his usual overconfidence and bravado. Shiro kept telling himself that if it was serious, Lance would tell him, but the way Lance has been avoiding their interactions made it clear he wouldn’t. So when Lance suddenly got up from dinner, spewing some excuse and bolting, Shiro followed him.

Lance had run to the bathroom and was crouched to to the toilet, huffing and coughing. Lance laughed weakly as he ran a shaking hand through his hair.

“Haha, figures…ack.” Shiro flinched when Lance started coughing, and vomiting, the sound of liquid hitting the toilet made Shiro worry. At first, he sounded like he had a space flu or something, but then Lance leaned back on his heels and put his slightly red stained hands on his knees, and Shiro caught sight of the blood splatters on the toilet seat and flower petals. Frozen in horror, Shiro watched as Lance suddenly threw himself over the toilet again and began vomiting more blood and petals, a lot of it.

“Lance?!” Shiro yelled as he rushed up, Lance’s eyes widening in horror at the sight of Shiro. “What’s going on?!” Shiro demanded and Lance scrambled and flushed the toilet, and blocked the blood on the seat as he faced Shiro.

“Nothing! It’s just the space flu!” Lance said quickly, and Shiro floundered for a minute, he didn’t actually know what space flu looked like, but this didn’t seem right.

Lance.” Shiro knew his sounded angry, and Lance flinched before standing up and shoving his hands in his pocket, his tense shoulders relaxed as Lance sighed, though it sounded rough. Lance could feel the barbs and vines in his throat and lungs.

“Seriously Shiro, it’s just the space flu, I didn’t say anything because it’ll just pass.” Lance said and Shiro pinched the bridge of his nose in anger, and to hide his hurt. He hated that Lance was hiding something from him, he may not know what the space flu looked like but something in the back of his head was telling him- screaming at him not to believe what Lance was saying, that something wasn’t right.

“I-Next time, you better tell what the hell is really going on.” Shiro said, his voice was intimidating and Lance looked away as Shiro stormed out of the bathroom, too angry to stay there and too afraid to let his hurt show and cause a problem. He was angry that Lance was lying to him, afraid that Lance didn’t trust him, it made his chest ache and burn.

Lance sagged on the bathroom floor, weakly breathing as tears welled up in his eyes. Brushing them away, he cleaned the blood up and the flowers, before making his way to his room. Lance was relieved that Shiro didn’t seem to remember what Hanahaki was, but he was also disgusted in himself for being caught.

“What am I supposed to do? I’m a fool.” Lance whispered to no one as he fell onto his back, the soft and comforting Altean mattress didn’t help his despair. Lance curled into himself and cried, quiet sobs and his body wracking in pain. The flowers blooming in his chest making it hard to breathe.

He was hurting everyone he loved, this disease was horrible. It was getting harder to hide, but now that Shiro knew, Lance was terrified everyone else would know. Blinking his teary eyes, Lance couldn’t stop the horrible memories from getting to him.

Mira coughing up blood and flowers, Angela starting to as well before being put into surgery. Lance threw and arm over his eyes as he let out a watery chuckle, though his chest burned and tightened.

“I’m sorry.” he whispered, he wasn’t going to have his feelings removed with the flowers. It was horrible. Angela never truly loved after that, and the one she loved never connected to her again, their bond ruined by the feelings being taken. He couldn’t risk ruining the bond, however fragile it must be now, with Shiro.

He couldn’t risk it, only hope that he could last long enough to do his duty until his death. Lance’s blue eyes dripped tears, locked onto the ceiling as he bitterly laughed, though it hurt terribly.

“It’s unfair.” His muttered, the beautiful flowers that fell from his lips, white hydrangeas and blue wisteria blossoms. Unfairly beautiful signs of his upcoming death. He always hated Hanahaki, it took Mira, shattered his family, stole an important bond from little Angela. She was only twelve, she didn’t deserve such a fate at a young age.

Sleep stole him away, into a darkness too terrifyingly familiar. Hospitals and graves, the very flowers trapped in his beloved sisters lungs graced the floor as she had her love taken, and familiar beautiful flowers gracing a far too familiar grave. Nightmares of memories, his broken family, his sisters, his scared little siblings, sad older siblings, his Mama’s broken heart, his Papa crying for the first time, but not the last.


Lance shot up in his bed, tears cascading down his face as he covered his mouth to muffle the screams that he knew would have been ripping from his throat had the flowers not been choking him. Coughing more up in the bathroom, Lance stumbled toward the hangars, he wanted to talk to Blue, to apologize for being too weak to give up his love. Only, he bumped into Keith, who was coming out of his room.

“What? What the hell are you doing up?” Keith whispered, but Lance only shook his head, reigning himself into control.

“Don’t worry about it mullet.” Lance said with his usual snark, but Keith only narrowed his eyes.

“What’s going on with you? Everyone is worried sick!” Keith hissed and Lance turned away, he could tell Keith was clenching his fists and gritting his teeth, he was too easily angered and impatient.

“Nothing you need to worry about mullet. It shouldn’t matter.” Lance said, he felt bad for his irritation, but he didn’t want Keith to know. He didn’t want anyone to know at all. Pulling from Keith’s reach, Lance turned and stalked down the hall to Blue, Keith fuming in the hallway. As soon as he was out of sight, Lance ran to Blue, rushing up to her as he coughed a few more flowers up.

“Hey Blue, I’m sorry.” He said as he ran a hand along her metal paw, the resounding purr through their bond and link comforted him.

Worry… Paladin… Affection. Lance smiled at the feelings, and laughed a bit at the image of them flying together.

“Of course Blue, til the moment every blossom stops.” Lance said and Blue rumbled in sadness, and Lance lowered his eyes a bit.

“I know, but there isn’t anything we can do Blue, I’m weak, I can’t risk it. I’m so sorry.” Lance said and Blue rumbled again, bending her head down so Lance could rub her nose, even though he knew she couldn’t feel it. He still did it because he knew she enjoyed it.

“I’ll do my best, but I can’t promise you something I can’t control. Night Blue.” Lance whispered, watching his lion return to her position. Leaving the hangar, Lance headed back to his room.

~~~~

Training the next day was awful, everyone was tensed and watching him in worry. Pidge knew something was off, but because no one said anything or jumped at him, Lance knew no one but Hunk knew of his disease. Shiro didn’t remember what it was, and he didn’t seem to go to Pidge with his concerns, so Lance continued training.

He did well, despite the pain and suffocating feeling. It wasn’t until Lance suddenly leaned over and began gasping as a flower blocked his air way. Coughing, Lance’s eyes widened in horror as everyone rushed over to him. Shaking away the hands and escaping, Lance collapsed against the wall of the training room, he faintly heard someone stop the training. Lance held a hand against the wall for support as everyone called out for him in worry, but his vision was going dark as he tried to dislodge the flower in his throat.

It was a full patch of Hydrangea, not just a few tiny individual blossoms. Lance weakly groaned as someone grabbed his shoulders.

Shit…” Was all he gasped out, as he slumped down, everything going dark.

~

Lance sprung up from the bed he was laid in, the burning in his chest and constriction was still there. Blinking, Lance barely registered someone speaking, maybe to him or not… He couldn’t tell.

“M-Mira…” Lance choked out as a petal fell from his lips. Suddenly, he noticed someone was shaking him. Eyes adjusting, he realized it was Coran, and he was speaking.

“C-Coran?” Lance asked Coran sighed, Pidge was in the room too. Rubbing his eyes, Lance turned to Coran.

“Pidge and Hunk explained to me what this Hanahaki disease is. Quiet odd that flowers grow in your chest. But! It would be rather easy to remove them, despite that you have a rather lot.” Coran said and Lance shook his head, waving off Coran as he stood.

“Lance, don’t be stupid.” Pidge said and Lance sighed as he tested his balance, before sticking his hands into his pocket.

“I’m not… I know what this does.” Lance said and Pidge rubbed her eyes. Lance groaned as he turned to face her.

“Lance! This isn’t something you can just brush off!” Pidge yelled, frustrated tears collecting in her eyes as Coran set a hand on her shoulder.

“If nothing changes, you’ll be getting the surgery no matter what.” Coran stated and Lance shot a bitter look at the Altean.

“No. Nope. Not gonna happen.” Lance said as he stalked towards the door, Pidge groaned and followed him, but he didn’t miss her worry.

“Lance, we need to tell the others. You shouldn’t be hiding this.” Pidge spoke up and Lance whirled on her, a horrified and fear wracked expression.

“No!” Lance said and Pidge jumped, before Lance turned away and covered his eyes. “Please, just… Let me tell them, I just need a little time.”

“Lance! You have fucking flowers in your lungs!” Pidge cried out exasperated and Lance turned to look at her, blue eyes glistening with tears.

“Please Pidge.” Lance muttered and Pidge’s breath hitched but she nodded, though he knew she would tell them if he didn’t sometime soon.

~~~~

Lance didn’t get to his room in time, hoping to avoid Shiro. He knew the others knew he had Hanahaki, but he knew Keith and Hunk wouldn’t say anything. Keith, because he probably was too emotionally distraught and Hunk was probably panicking so they wouldn’t be able to explain.

Lance seen his room, but failed to get there because Shiro suddenly grabbed him by the waist, pinning him to the wall. Lance tried to force his feelings down, he couldn’t start blushing and stuttering, this wasn’t the time.

“You aren’t going anywhere, now talk.” Shiro growled out, his flesh arm was gripping his waist and his Galra arm was on the wall beside Lance’s head.

“I-I don’t know-” Shiro caged Lance in more at Lance’s attempt at escaping. Shiro narrowed his eyes as he kept Lance trapped.

“Lance-” Shiro was cut off as Lance shook his head, trying to figure a way to escape.

“It’s nothing Shiro!” Lance exasperatedly said, he couldn’t tell him it was because he loved him. It would put unnecessary blame on Shiro. He couldn’t blame himself if Lance never told him.

“This isn’t nothing Lance!” Shiro yelled and Lance tried pushing Shiro away, but the slightly older teen refused. Fully pinning Lance against the wall, Shiro narrowed his eyes, daring Lance to lie.

Then the alarms went off, signalling they were under attack. Shiro growled as he narrowed his eyes at Lance.

“We aren’t done talking.” Shiro said, before letting Lance free, and they both ran to the hangars. Getting into their lions, Lance let out a relieved breath.

Lance felt awful, Shiro may have sounded angry, but Lance has a lot of siblings, he knew when someone was using anger to hide worry and fear.


The Galra kept them from forming Voltron, so they had to fight separately. Lance coughed up more flowers, Blue keeping them from being damaged while he threw up more flowers and blood. It was getting worse, the flowers were nearly fully bloomed and there was more blood.

Lance glanced at the controls and sighed a bit, the rest were doing good. Rushing and clearing more ships, Lance cursed in spanish as he was knocked to the ground. Blue was knocked out of commission for the most part. Lance could hear the others yelling at him as he left Blue, yelling at him to return to the controls.

“Blue’s out of commission, gonna have to do it the hard way.” Lance yelled back, shooting all the Galra rushing towards him, shooting ships out of the sky, protecting Blue the best he could.

“Lance! It’s not safe!” Shiro yelled at him, and Lance felt bad, there was terror in Shiro’s tone and he couldn’t help but like the concern. Shoving it back, Lance choked as his body felt on fire, his chest was crushing and he couldn’t breathe, but he kept shooting.

It wasn’t long till Blue jumped back in and blasted a Glara ship out of the sky, saving Lance from what would have been his demise. The battle was done and Lance could hear everyone breathing out and calming down over the comms.

“Lance?” Hunk spoke and Lance put his bayard away. Grunting, Lance began coughing violently, the terrified voices of his friends nearly overlapping each other over the comms.

“Lance!”

“Shit! Lance!”

“What the hell is going on Lance?!”

“Don’t you dare Lance!”

Lance blinked at the waterfalls of blood and flowers falling from his lips. Blinking blearily, Lance heard him being yelled at not to pass out. Lance laughed though, as he hunched over and began vomiting up more waterfalls of blood and flowers, so beautiful despite the fact that it was a sign he was going to die soon.

“Lance! Shit, don’t- god please!” Shiro cried into the comms, and Lance felt himself chuckle bitterly. He didn’t see his life flash before his eyes like in books or something, he just felt the pulling sensation in the back of his mind. He was in a lot of pain, and he felt weak as the world seemed to darken.

“O-Oh shit…” Lance said as the black lion landed near him, he looked at the ridiculous amount of blood and flowers, there was so much.

Lance finished coughing, and blinked at the figure running towards him as he crumpled. He got caught before fully hitting the ground as all the lions landed. Blinking up, Lance realized Shiro was yelling at him and looked on the verge of tears.

“Lance! Shit shit shit, don’t close your eyes!” Shiro was yelling, not understanding what was going on as the others dropped to their knees around him. He vaguely noted that Shiro wasn’t mad anymore, if anything, he look horrified.

“Shit! Why didn’t you tell anyone you had Hanahaki?” Keith yelled and Lance let out a pained cough, another flower falling from his mouth.

“I-I did…” Lance weakly said and Hunk shook his head.

“You should have told us all, not convinced me to keep quiet.” Hunk cried and the group began to panic. Pidge muttering quick explanations on the Hanahaki disease while Shiro rushed Lance to his lion. Hunk and Yellow brought Blue up to the castle ship while Shiro panicked with Lance and his fading pulse.

“Shit, god, Lance please.” Shiro muttered in panic as tears fell. He didn’t know what to do, he was missing to many memories, he couldn’t remember what Hanahaki disease’s cure is or if there even was a cure. His chest was burning and he felt like he was suffocating, fear and terror ripping him apart at the seams.

“I-It’s F-Fine…” Lance weakly said as he struggled to breathe, the flowers were getting worse, it was almost time. It’s been going on since they left Earth, but Lance has loved Shiro longer than that, which was why it was so bad.

“It’s not! Please, oh shit, Lance don’t leave… What do I do?” Shiro was definitely panicking now as they landed in the hangars.

“D-Don’t… Don’t let them… re-remove my l-love.” Lance muttered and Shiro blinked, before he finally remembered.

“Shit shit, who do you love? Fuck, we can find a way to-”

“S-Shiro… S-Stop…” Lance whispered and Shiro began to sob as he ran from his lion to the infirmary.

“Y-You can’t die! P-Please, d-don’t leave us… Don’t leave me.” Shiro cried, his hidden feelings, locked and pushed way coming to light. The others remained quiet as Pidge cried with Hunk, and Keith kept his eyes cast on the floor, tears dripping from his chin, Allura and Coran unable to do anything.

“S-Sorry…. S-Shiro.” Lance muttered as he lifted a shaky hand to Shiro’s cheek, having been placed on a medical bed. Shiro felt his chest burn, it hurt so bad, but he was too distraught to care.

“Please Lance… I love you.” Shiro begged, the last part his whispered as he closed his eyes and sobbed, the other paladins already past that point as they openly sobbed, wailed, and cried. Allura turned away and Coran covered his teary face in his hand.

Lance fell limp, and that was what shattered everyone. Shiro stood up, his chest aching as he brushed Lance’s hair back. Lance’s head fell to the side, everyone calmed down and grief strickenly moved over to Lance.

Only for blood and flowers to fall from his lips, Lance began to violently cough and hack it up. The blood stopped coming, but Lance continued to cough.

“Lance!”

“Shit, breathe man breathe!”

“He’s choking Keith, he can’t breathe!”

“Not the time Pidge!”

“Q-Quiznak-” Lance muttered before violently coughing again, Shiro helped him sit up, though Lance kept leaned over as he hacked up flowers. There were so many that just piled up, Shiro was terrified, and the other’s panicked as they tried to help, rubbing Lance’s back, helping Lance remove the flora by gently pulling the flowers and vines out.

It was a long painful process, but Lance finally fell still. Panicked, Pidge checked his pulse, but breathed in relief at the weak, but still there, pulsing. Lance was quickly scanned and laid back down, until those last few flowers come out, Coran couldn’t put him into a cryopod. Shiro didn’t let anyone try to perform the surgery, Lance had been adamant about that.

Then, about an hour later, Lance began coughing again, so they helped him up and lean over, as more flowers fell, then silence.

Everyone started crying, he was breathing, and coughing, but no more flowers fell from his lips. Coran scanned him again, before rushing him into a cryopod.

Then it was a waiting game. Shiro never left the room, watching Lance rest in the pod and heal, others came in and watched over him, or made Shiro eat.

Not once did Shiro leave the infirmary.

~

Lance vaguely remembered collapsing after the battle was over, he remembered darkness and flowers, then he remembered Shiro holding him and crying as Lance talked to him, but Shiro didn’t hear him over his panic and tears.

It’s fine… I accepted this… He remembered thinking that he was going to die choking on his blood and pretty flowers, though he thought it was nice to be in the arms of someone he loved.

Then Mira crossed his mind, she died alone, in pain and suffering, and Lance felt awful to have the person he loved hold him while he died.

Then he was thrown into darkness again, blood and familiar flowers surrounded him. White hydrangeas, blue wisteria, all so pretty, but they floated endlessly in the blood. Lance cupped one in his hands, vaguely aware that something was off, but unable to register it. Looking at his reflection in the blood, Lance noticed blood dripped from his chin and ran down his bare chest to meet the blood he was waist deep in.

Lance

Blinking he looked around, someone was calling him… Who was it?

Lance!

Shaking his head, he turned back to the blood, only to see a woman in white sitting in a white boat. She was beckoning him with a hand, her skin was nearly translucent, her eyes were closed and long bright hair framed her face. There were flowers falling from her mouth, the same ones Lance seen all around him.

Lance!

Hesitant, Lance decided to ignore the voice, going to the woman. The flowers were beautiful, and maybe she would lead him to other flowers. Reaching to touch the blue wisteria blossoms on the bow of her boat, Lance ripped his hand away as a familiar voice called out again.

Please Lance!

The woman beckoned him more impatiently, and Lance reached out again.

I love you.

Lance blinked as the voice finally opened his eyes. Shiro? Lance wondered, turning from the woman, and looking out over the blood and blackness, tons of white hydrangeas and blue wisteria floated in the blood, but Lance couldn’t see the source of the voice. Suddenly, Lance began to sink in the blood, it whirled around him with the flowers, the woman and boat disappearing.

“Quiznak.” Lance muttered as he was suddenly coughing up flowers and shit tons of them. A little blood too, he heard people talking but he was exhausted, his chest hurt and he felt like he was under water, so everything sounded distorted.

Next thing Lance knew, he was stumbling out of the cryopod, confused, dazed, and tired. Someone caught him, and on instinct, Lance tried to pull away.

“Lance!” the person holding him cried out in relief, and Lance blinked, he couldn’t quite think, his mind fuzzy from the pain he had been in and just coming from the cryopod.

“W-Wha? W-Who?” Lance muttered, coughing violently, but no blood or flowers came out thankfully.

“It’s me, Shiro. Pidge, Hunk, Keith, Coran and Allura too.” The voice said and Lance nodded weakly.

“Ugh… Am I dead?” Lance groaned as he suddenly dropped limp, he heard his name being yelled and then nothing.


Shiro jumped at the sound of Lance’s cryopod opening, the tired teen stumbled out and into Shiro’s arms, saving him from hitting the ground. Shiro hugged him close, so relief swarming his being. The burning lessened, but was still there.

“Lance!” Shiro cried in relief, everyone else jumping and rushing over. Lance coughed violently, but no blood or flowers fell.

“W-Wha? W-Who?” Lance muttered, sounding dazed as he finished coughing. Shiro pulled away a bit as he smiled at Lance.

“It’s me, Shiro. Pidge, Keith, Hunk, Coran and Allura too.” Shiro said, watching Lance in worry. Lance blinked slowly before he nodded weakly.

“Ugh…Am I dead?” Then he suddenly collapsed, but he was still breathing. Shiro hugged him close, before lifting him up. Nodding to the others, they followed Shiro to Lance’s room, only to grimace when they opened the door. Blood and flower petals littered his bed and floor, a half open drawer was filled with bloody flowers, they didn’t even dare look in the bathroom.

“I’ll… put him in my room.” Shiro said and the others nodded, Coran and Hunk moving to clean Lance’s room while Pidge and Keith worriedly watched Lance be moved to Shiro’s room.

Setting Lance down, Shiro covered him and breathed out in relief. The pain in his chest was gone, Lance was alive and breathing. Standing up, Shiro quickly pressed a kiss to Lance’s forehead. He’d apologize for being mad when Lance woke up and was coherent.

He cornered and yelled at Lance because he was worried and upset that Lance was lying to him and hiding things from him. He was fed up with Lance running and avoiding him to, so he pinned Lance to get answers.

Who knew his desperation to strengthen their bond would bring so many complications? For now, Shiro just wanted Lance to be ok.

They would figure the rest out later.


Well there it is, I know it’s short and probably a mess. I love the Hanahaki disease Au, its a great way to have angst and tragedy.

OUATVAN 2017 - Sunday, Gold Panel with Lana Parrilla

(x)

  • Lana is still waking up (x)
  • Lana is wearing a dress from Eva longoria (x)
  • Lana loves the GVRD in North Van (x)
  • Lana tells everyone to go see how beautiful BC and Vancouver is (x)
  • Lana says tonight is a specials ep (x)
  • A beautiful scene will be happening between Regina and the EQ tonight (x)
  • Pilot is Lana’s fave ep (x)
  • Lana had to give Lenny away because Fred is allergic (x)
  • Lenny is living with Lana’s best friends and she sees him all the time (x)
  • Lana had tarantulas as pets when she was younger (x)
  • The feather on Jareds shirt is my Lana’s feather (x)
  • When the tsunami hit in the early 00’s Lana was working at camps in Sri Lanka to help children (x)
  • Lana would like to build a charity organization (x)
  • Lana likes to wear the most comfortable costumes on set (x)
  • Lana really loves the red velvet dress and the black rubber dress (x)
  • Lana likes the costume in the musical episode. She dances a lot (x)
  • Lana did a bit of research about what it’s like to be teasered before the torture scene in S2 (x)
  • Lana just gave a lesson on how to act long shots and close ups (x)
  • Lana loves working with Bobby. They are good friends and work super well together (x)
  • The GQ chemistry was Lana and Bobby’s acting chemistry (x)
  • Lana and Bobby always thought that Regina and gold were father and daughter but then there were moments when not (x)
  • Lana says Regina and gold are family in a weird way (x)
  • Lana likes the scenes between Emma and Regina where they have the most honest conversations (x)
  • Lana thinks Trina is still swinging (x)
  • Nina is going through quite a bit according to Lana. She is still trying to figure out her life (x)
  • Lana thinks Eva zambrano is saving lives and saving people (x)
  • Lana thinks Teresa became a badass cop (x)
  • Lana loves the young Regina moments with Barbara (x)
  • Regina was manipulated by her mother subconsciously (x)
  • One of her fave moments was in hell when they saw Cora wake up and make amends (x)

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anonymous asked:

I'd love to hear your thoughts on La La Land's ending! If you don't mind.

SO HERE WE GO. I’ve heard a lot of think pieces/complaining about how the movie is about hollywood, or white men saving jazz, or unrealistically fulfilling your dreams all at once, etc., but I don’t see how you can watch that ending and come away with those things. Sure, the movie dabbles in all of that, and you can make commentary on how unrealistic that is, or in the case of John Legend’s role in the movie, how shitty it is—but then, there’s that ending. That glorious, perfect pitched ending.

The last we see of Mia and Sebastian together, they’re making a choice many of us have or will make in our lives; a turning point in a relationship, where you have to choose what you’re willing to sacrifice, or give to keep the love that you have. They make what I would say, as a person who has made this very choice, the right choice, and seperate for the good of their careers. And realistically, painfully so, that is a lasting break—we jump five years, and things have happened that make their separation permanent (Mia is married, she has a child). That’s startling and, because it happens so quickly instead of the slow and quiet way that it occurs in real life, unbelievable. We think, they’re playing a trick on us, this can’t possibly be where this movie of sparkling lights and love songs is going to end. But the longer the scene goes on, and we see Mia in the car with her husband, so comfortable, it starts to set in, and then, even though we know it’s coming, when she sees the sign at his club—the sign she made for him—we feel the way she does. It’s been five years for her, and she has that space that we, as an audience, were not given from the main storyline, so she’s surprised, and suddenly longing, and that’s an emotion we can feel. 

But the ending isn’t about where Mia finds herself, it’s about Sebastian. He plays his song, and the fantasy begins for him and we get to go along with it. Mia may have moved on, but Sebastian is closer to us, he still feels that sting when he sees her, much worse then she felt. The cinematography here is beautiful, and the music carries us through it, and it’s satisfying, just to retrace the steps of where we have already been with these characters, to hear the same cords they sang together. You can’t tell me it didn’t hit you when, in the bar, the music swelled and he walked right up to kiss her. 

Because this is from Sebastian’s point of view, we see the way he wished it had been, how they could have stayed together, and it is so firmly planted in what he could have done differently. Mia still takes the audition, gets the job, goes to Paris, but he never takes that job with the band, he’s there at her show, he goes to Paris with her. His fantasy includes being there for her, in a way that he never really was during their relationship. He puts her, her dreams and ambitions, first, so that in the end, Mia ends up exactly where she is now, where she’s meant to be, but she’s married to him instead. And even while he’s thinking of it, the unreality of that situation bleeds in—through the film set, the Van Gogh-esque swirls of Paris. It could never have been real, because he was a different man then, he would have always made those choices. He had yet to learn his lesson.

In the end, they are able to smile at each other and part again, because this isn’t a love story. This is a story about growing up. It’s a story about how a person can mean so much to you during one point in your life, how they can change you, can take up all of the space in your world completely, and how much you can love them in that moment—and how beautiful that is. It isn’t lasting, it’s not guaranteed, it’s something you may regret and dwell on over and over later, but it is beautiful. Sebastian’s dream looks so unreal because not only did it not happen, it couldn’t have happened; there were a gulf of reasons why the two of them never would have worked out, even if he had gone with her to Paris. 

But they changed each other. They nudged each other towards their futures. They were each other’s turning point, towards success, their dreams, all the things that felt out of reach when they met. So when they said, before they parted, I will always love you, what they really meant was; I will always love what you have given me.