comfortable-relationships

Listen when someone makes posts that go “it’s okay to not to want date aces” instead of like. Being more specific. I’m gonna assume the poster does not like aces much.

Like ppl have said this stuff while equating being ace to not having sex and there’s also the thing where “ace” can be and often is used as an umbrella term for various ace-spec identities and it’s at best just super unclear and unnecessarily hurtful to have a dozen posts going around about how it’s totally okay to not date aces? It feels pretty othering and shitty like

If someone is honestly meaning to say they would not feel comfortable in a relationship where the other person(s) is not sexually attracted to them, you’d think it would make the most sense to put it like that and not make it specifically about aces? And if someone is honestly meaning to say they want sex in a relationships, it would also very much make sense to just put like that.

There is no general social pressure to date aces (and ppl often have very gross opinions about aces in relationships or otherwise), so when a while ago I saw a lot of posts like “it’s okay not to date ace ppl!!” that seemed very…

(Also I find this really bewildering in light of how many exclusionists condoned that vile “talking with anyone about being ace who’s not a partner™ is TMI” shit. But hey whatever)

the only difference between my internet self and my irl self is im more comfortable talking about my relationship with god on tumblr and twitter

redwitchrising  asked:

Hi there, I just discovered your blog and I want to say that I'm grateful that to find discourse that actually puts words to how I feel about my poly relationship. I'm new to being poly, and my sweetie lives 3 hrs away, so we don't see each other very often. It can sometimes be a little lonely, especially because I'm not out to many people, but I feel more comfortable in a poly relationship than I ever did in any monogamous ones. It's a relief to see people who think the same way.

Concept: we’ve made a blanket fort. We’re laying on piles of pillows and playing video games. I keep winning but I think you’re letting me. This is the most at-home I’ve felt in weeks, and I feel more comfortable with you every day

10

“We are each other’s shelter from the storm.”

What made this relationship special for me is how tender these two are always with each other and the way they showed their vulnerable side to one another. When it comes to seeking solace, empathy and understanding, Clark and Diana would often turn to each other. It speaks about the level of trust and love they shared, be it as best friends or lovers.

anonymous asked:

HC that Keith has rlly bad nightmares, and even though they're rivals, he always goes to Lance's room. He'll wake Lance up and Lance doesn't say anything, he just holds up the covers, letting Keith climb in. Lance will pull Keith close and rest his chin on Keith's head, one hand in his hair and the other rubbing circles in his back,, kissing Keith's forehead and telling him that everything is OK,until he falls asleep. And in Lance's arms it usually takes about 5 minutes for him to fall asleep

oh my goooooddd this is so 👌 good omg

  • okay so the first time this happened lance was pretty grumpy because he doesn’t like to be woken up from his beauty sleep
  • and he didn’t notice keith had been crying because it’s so dark and he was about to kick him out until he heard the crack in keith’s voice when he said his name, and lance had never heard keith sound so…vulnerable?
  • he immediately sat up and in the softest voice “hey, hey, whats wrong keith?”
  • “I-I just..can’t sleep alone tonight. I keep having the same nightmare over and over again” and he starts rambling and he really doesn’t want to cry again, not in front of lance and why did he even come in here but the more he talks about it the more panicked he gets and the tears just burst out of him
  • lance is completely baffled because he had no idea this side of keith existed or why keith would come to him of all people and the implications of keith not wanting to sleep alone?? all he knew was he was pulling keith towards him and “you can sleep with me tonight, okay?”
  • keith just nods into the crook of lance’s neck and as soon as they lay down keith shrinks into lance’s embrace so how could lance not pull him in closer and whisper to him it’s gonna be okay
  • keith doesn’t have nightmares like this, this is good
  • being with lance is good
  • lance comes to expect keith in his room every night so he just keeps keith’s pillow there now
  • one time lance accidentally fell asleep without waiting up for keith, so keith just cozied up next to him and pulled lance’s arm around him. lance woke up shocked and briefly flustered, but something about waking up next to keith made him happy
  • keith now has the pleasure of knowing that lance mumbles in his sleep
  • after a while lance is so used to the routine and is entirely comfortable with keith laying next to him that one night, after letting keith crawl into his arms, he instinctively kisses keith’s forehead and then immediately freezes because oh nonononono i just made this awkward
  • he feels keith stiffen in his arms and is about to let go but then keith bless this boy he can’t look lance in the eyes but he mumbles a thank you into lance’s chest. lance is afraid to move at first but then he slowly runs his fingers through keith’s hair, and when keith doesn’t complain, lance adds “touching keith’s hair” to the list of hobbies he’d like to take up
  • so they just fall into this routine where they cuddle together and are at peace together and keith doesn’t have nightmares anymore and he doesn’t want to find out if they’ll come back once he’s on his own. but he honestly looks forward to this every day because…lance hugging him, and kissing his forehead, and the way they fit together when lance has his chin on his head and his arms around him, and oh man this wasn’t his intention when he wandered into lance’s room that first night
  • keith might be able to kick lance’s ass in combat but the thought of lance doing anything remotely affectionate towards him makes him weak
i guarantee you that one day you’re going to need me. you’re going to need me to comfort you like i did, to care for you like i did, to give you unconditional love like i did… but you took advantage of it back then. so when that day comes, just know that i won’t let you use me again
—  i won’t make the same mistake
What's the key to successful relationships?
  • Without quality time, your relationship will not survive.
  • You will both need security, comfort. A good relationship is built on compromise and a great deal of give and take on both sides.
  • Keep your dependence and independence in balance. Tell and show your partner how much you need them, but don’t cling, as that can make your partner feel trapped.
  • Encourage them to listen to you, by showing appreciation when they do. By the same token, show interest when they talks to you.
  • Make them appreciate you. Don’t wait for a spontaneous compliment, but say something good about yourself and ask for their agreement.
  • Learn to do the one thing that is most likely to restore good feeling in your relationship - giving your partner a genuine, loving and approving smile.
  • Often those subtle quirks that first attracted you to your partner can, with time, turn around and become toe-curlingly annoying habits. Learn to love them, warts and all.
  • Hidden resentments poison a relationship; so if something bothers you, say it. 
  • Learn that punishing your partner won’t work. It may make you feel better to give them a hard time, but it will actually make them dig their heels in more. A better tactic is to reward the things you like and ignore what you don’t like.