“how my small talk at family reunions usually goes”

Meeting a celebrity
  • Me: *hands them a piece of paper*
  • Them: Who should I make it out to?
  • Me: oh, haha, no, that's not for you to autograph. That's the URL to my amazon wishlist, alright, bye.

@piierogi​ Realizing She Isn’t Making Any F***ing Sense Because She’s Been Awake So Long: A Verbal Memoir

“I just got a weird tickle in my throat. I think it was ghosts. I don’t like that Jasper can sense ghosts, they’re too–” [20 second pause] “What the f was I just talking about”

“I just had a daydream where you were being trolled by gamegrumps and there was a handpuppet nomming on your scalp and you’re like ‘why this’ “

“My wrist really itches, and my thumb, I wish it would stop. Have you considered this: stop. Just stop. #stopwristitch2k14 . Wait, no. Yes. Stop the itch two years ago.”

“Anywho here’s bupperball. Y’know, like, [to the final fantasy fanfare tune] BUP BUP BA BAA BUP BA BUP BUP BAAAAAA.”


Link realizes he still doesn’t know how to talk during his own wedding.

Chapter 2: Sleepiie Speaks

@piierogi Realizing She Isn’t Making Any F***ing Sense Because She’s Been Awake So Long: A Verbal Memoir

it’d be funny if in elevators people would randomly waddle to the corners and stand there facing the wall being all sad twiddling their thumbs “I don’t wanna talk to anyone”

I imagined these like kinda like a gif but it’s black and white and there’s a long hair lady and another person idk what they look like but they look at each other and someone is like “now kiss” and they’re really in love

I wonder if you can radio skate when you’re drunk as funk

these poor birds are gonna like, be why am I in this Christmas party

you were pecking a rock with your nose making the game grumps face :I

shimmies with the bear on the floor, so I don’t shimmy alone, but this bear may actually be a dog

I gotta go sleep, maybe if I draw Connie it’ll help me sleep, so I gotta pee, did I mention that yet? / wait, you’re going to sleep? / NO I’m going PEE / said sleep, but also how would drawing Connie help you sleep? / it was Stevonnie / that doesn’t answer my question at all

I was trying out the sniper, the wind is here, and so is my food, and my daddy’s gone

you should tell your dad next time to give me some delicious green tea

apparently I just trapped him into helk- hel– heck. with junkrat. he can’t compete with my awesomeness

the movie came out when I was 7 years old? Pokemon 2000. I’m ash from tallet pown and I gotta catch em all!!

I don’t think there’s any more chronic ones to open. listen. listen. listen. listen. listen.


Totally normal Winston Play of the Game