It’ll Be Okay [Requested]
You stared in silence at the far wall on the couch. You felt your phone vibrate, but it was a considerable amount of time before you actually went to answer it.
How’s your day been?
Wanna hang out? I’ve got a concert tonight. Need to kill time J
Sent 18mins ago
You just blanked. You weren’t really feeling much of anything, but you know you didn’t really want to move from your spot on the couch. Curling your knees to your chest, you completely forgot the phone in your hand. It slipped from your fingers and nestled in the cushion next to you. It wasn’t until it vibrated again that you slugged out of your trance.
[F/N], I know you’re
there! You said you didn’t have anything to do today :P
Sent 1min ago
You frowned at your phone and started to type a reply.
I don’t really feel up to it
You sent the message and stood, barely stretching as you meandered to the kitchen. You saw a package of cookies and considered reaching for them. Your body made no effort to move closer, and you decided that you didn’t really want them. You stood there for god knows how long, finally making a slow hobble back to the couch. You flopped into your spot.
After staring at your knees for about five minutes, your eyes started to well up. You squashed the tears down and checked your phone as a distraction.
I’m coming over. Brace
Sent 23mins ago
Your eyes widened, and, as if on cue, the door knocked a couple times and opened.
“[F/N]?” J-Hope called. You looked up and gazed at him with no thoughts in your head. His eyes locked with yours, and you could have sworn you saw worry flit across his face for a moment. He smiled kindly and sat a respectable distance away from you on the couch.
“You don’t look too hot,” he remarked with no emphasis. “What’s wrong?”
You didn’t react for a moment, but then you shook your head. You didn’t really know. You saw him peeking up at you; he had leaned forward and was making a silly face. You thought it was funny, but not enough. Your expression didn’t change. His lips pursed and moved to the left as he thought carefully.
You didn’t know how long he was thinking for, but your mind was being ravaged by your own thoughts. You could hardly feel anything; you briefly wondered if you couldn’t feel anything physically, too. Were you going to feel this way forever? A light panic overtook you as you thought about things that held meaning to you, but none of them had any effect on your emotions. The only thing you felt was panic. What were you going to do? What was going to happen? What if you couldn’t feel happy again? What was even wrong? What—
“I’ve got an idea,” J-Hope murmured, snapping you out of your thoughts. You were immediately relieved of your down-spiral, the panic easing its clutches on your chest. “I know exactly what you need.” You stared at him, a stirring of curiosity rising in the back of your mind. He stood upright, walked a few feet away, and faced you.
“I’ve seen the posters in your room and the pictures on your computer!” he declared dramatically. “I know that what you crave the most is attractive men! So… I must give you what you can only stare at on a screen!” He started to pull up his shirt, adding to your growing confusion. Your eyes widened again, but, surprisingly, your cheeks started to flush as he started to reveal his abs. You averted your gaze immediately and bit your lip. He started laughing and pulling down his shirt.
“Sorry, sorry. That was a joke.”
You looked back up at him, and his expression was satisfied.
“It worked, though; your face has a bit more color in it,” he smiled, striding towards you. He knelt on the ground and looked up at you once again. He brushed your cheek with the backs of his fingers. “You look prettier this way. We just have to get you to smile; then it’ll be perfect.”
You stared at him blankly, though you felt something stirring in your chest.
He got up and collected some things from around your apartment. You had no idea what he was doing, and you didn’t know how to react when he dropped a pile of pillows and blankets in front of you. Glancing between J-Hope and the pile, you sat completely still. He rearranged the pillows and blankets into something that resembled a cave around your TV. He then left the room and returned with several cases of DVDs, plopping them down on the table in front of you.
“We’re going to watch a movie before the concert, which you’re going to go to,” he stated with a no-nonsense attitude. You stared down at the cases, not feeling any particular way about any of the movies he had pulled out. You picked one at random; it was a comedy. J-Hope crawled into the cave-like creation he had made with the movie and didn’t reappear. He called out to you from inside, telling you to go in. You did as he said, amazed to see the cushy interior. It made you feel relaxed.
J-Hope lay back on the cushions, and you looked around you for a place to sit. You felt inclined to ask to cuddle with him—the warmth seemed appealing—but you kept quiet and curled up with your knees to your chest. He laughed through a lot of the movie, and you felt the ghost of a smile creeping on your face for some parts.
Your back started to hurt from your position, so you stretched out uncomfortably. It didn’t help your back at all. You were surprised that you had even noticed the back pain in the first place. After a couple seconds of your fidgeting, you heard J-Hope.
“[F/N], come lay down with me,” he murmured. You looked at him, but he only wore an encouraging smile. He lifted his arm as a silent offer. You crawled over to him and snuggled against his side; you immediately knew you had made the correct decision. He was warm, soft, and definitely cuddly. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and rested his cheek on your head. Throughout the rest of the movie, you could feel his chest hum when he chuckled.
The movie ended, and you were feeling a little bit lighter. J-Hope rubbed his thumb against your shoulder and sat up slowly, enabling you to move yourself before he dropped you.
“It’s time to go; can you be ready soon?” he asked as he turned off the TV. You muttered a “yeah” and left the tent, glancing down at your clothes as you stood. You didn’t really register what you were wearing, so you just put on your shoes and socks. J-Hope led you outside, not really paying much attention to your outfit, either.
You felt sluggish and unenergetic the entire walk. Your body felt heavy, and you felt like lying down and not getting up again. Almost as if he sensed this, J-Hope grabbed and held your hand. He paused at a small market and glanced at you.
“You haven’t eaten, have you?”
You didn’t respond.
“I’ll be right back; don’t go anywhere.”
He left inside the store, and he was only gone for a few minutes. He came back with a small apple and a small granola bar. He gave them both to you, and you only looked at him when you held them.
“You don’t have to eat all of it, but you need to eat something,” he smiled. You blinked slowly before taking a small bite of the apple. J-Hope took your hand once again and led you to the venue. He told you that you could stay backstage and watch the concert from there if you didn’t feel like being in the crowd. You took another tentative nibble of the apple, putting the granola bar in your pocket for later.
You took J-Hope’s offer to stay backstage for the duration of the concert. You ended up finishing the apple in the time it took for the concert to end. You threw the core away, and when you returned to your stool, you heard J-Hope talk on the stage.
“I know you must be tired,” he said to the crowd, “but can you stay with me for one more song?”
There were excited cheers from the audience, and a small smile slipped onto your face.
“I need you to remember to not give up, no matter how you may be feeling. So I’m going to sing you something to help you remember.”
You slowly realized that he wasn’t talking to the crowd. He was talking to you.
He started to sing a slower rendition of “Tomorrow”; you were surprised at how sweet and soft he sounded.
“I have a long way to go, but why am I running in place?” he sang.
The familiar lyrics made their way to your heart, settling there and uncovering your emotions. You sat, stunned, as a mix of sadness and hope started to fill you. You stayed frozen through the entire verse and chorus, and you heard V and Jimin join in singing.
“Don’t give up, you know; don’t get too far away, tomorrow.”
Tears sprung to your eyes, and you finally started to cry. One of the makeup noonas spotted you and checked to see if you were okay. You could only nod, and soon, you were drowned out by the sounds of the screams and applause as the boys finished. You felt a familiar pair of warm arms wrap around you and hold you close. You sobbed into J-Hope’s chest, and the tears were extremely relieving.
“I’m sorry,” you choked out.
“It’s okay,” he murmured. “It’ll be okay.”
His hand moved to the back to your head, and he let you cry till you were almost asleep against him. He walked you to a couch in the lounge room and laid you there. He promised he would be back soon to take you home as your eyes slid shut and you drifted to sleep.
<3 Admin Bibi
Hey! I didn’t kill anyone this time!