come to my office

Maximum Gratitude

Today, I am thankful for the following:

  • My best friend and love of my life, Georgie;
  • My two cats surviving the February housefire;
  • Martin O’Malley following me on twitter this past June (I never mentioned it before now because I don’t like to brag or be a “show off” about awesome shit like that);
  • Coffee;
  • The fact that my doctor hasn’t forced me to come into her office in almost a year, despite the fact that she’s right down the road from me (I dread going to the doctor because of germs and waiting);
  • Frogs;

And of course -

  • All of you, my tumblr followers!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! And to those of you who don’t celebrate Thanksgiving - Have a wonderful day!

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[ スタイリッシュなGUYS⭐! ]

NCT fire drill (insp.)

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female awesome meme; 1/5 ladies with the best development: rachel green (f.r.i.e.n.d.s.)
“i was gonna give you a chance to apologize to me. you had no right coming down to my office. you don’t bring a picnic basket to somebody’s work! you want me to quit my job so you can feel like you have a girlfriend? do you realize this is the first time in my life i’m doing something I actually care about? the first time i’m doing something that I’m actually good at.”

Office-mate who loves CNN but doesn't understand how televisions work is destroyed by that which she loves most.

I work in a small office with only 6 people. The way the office is broken up I share my office with another person, so we’re essentially facing each other. It’s away from the other offices, so we’re kind of left to our own devices. I’ve been working here for about three years now, and have always gotten along with my office-mate. My old office-mate left to start a family, so I’ve been alone for a bit before they hired Marge.

Marge is what you’d find if you googled “worst office-mate.” She brings in smelly food she eats at her desk, she plays loud music in our shared space (even after being asked not to), she fights with the boss on every little thing, she’s nosy (always asking me where I’ve been when I walk back into the office, and I’ve literally caught her listening in at the bosses door). She asks me invasive questions, and when I finally snapped at her to mind her own business she acted like I’d personally assaulted her.

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“Maybe I should stop talking…. maybe you should stop talking too”

“I’m actually a pretty big fan of not talking”

“We don’t have to talk at all”

“I’m sorry, you just- you just had to stop talking” (bonus points if you know where this one is from)

The gays just don’t like talking what can we say

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Old post in drafts. i JUST KEPT GOING WITH MORE SKetches

More Ageswap AU Mob Psycho 100 - captions on pics

I can’t believe this. I’m on campus to meet with a professor I’m interested in working with and I’ve been out in the hallway rehearsing our conversation in my head for like 30 minutes to make sure I don’t make an ass of myself. And when I finally work up the nerve to go in her office the first thing that comes out of my mouth is “Doop.” Just the word “doop”, nothing else. I stood there in silence with our eyes interlocked while we both tried to mentally process what “doop” means. I can never show my face here again

Cop on a power trip gets grilled by a judge....and tries to shit talk me, then gets probably fired/moved away.

Okay so background: my house is literally connected to my elementary school’s perimeter. I occasionally used to go there at the ripe age of 15 to rip around with my RC nitro cars on weekends. No cars, actually the parking gates were closed but not the human entrances.

Rinse and repeat for 2 years with no problems. I even had patrolling RCMP officers come over and try out my kewl toys. In return, they would oull out a HUGE drone from their car and fly it around me to show me what drones are like and what speeds they can go at.

This went well till 2015. 2016 June comes and I am still doing that stuff while suddenly I hear police sirens. Out comes a cop, gives me a HUGE lecture about how I’m on federal property and I need to IMMEDIATELY get off because I do not have permission. This hot shot acted like I was stealing shit or something, he even looked through my bag without permission and found a pack of “dangerous liquid packs” which turned out to be rubbing alcohol for my hands.

Anyways, he issues me a $187 ticket for unlawfully operating a remote controlled blah blah (I forgot).

I was thinking, f*ck this. I’ll fight it in court. I did my research and the ticket he gave me was actually for people who rip around in their oil powered RC planes in private spaces without permission. This was obviously some bullshit. I even got the recording of his car dealing with me.

A few months later, I go to the court to contest it (that’s the set date). A**hole cop is there, and he tells me that before I go to the court, he can make my fine half if I plead guilty. I say no and I am pretty sure he said “f*cking b*tch” under his breath.

We go inside the court room, a**hole is all loud and proud when giving his statement. He straight up LIES, saying I was being belligerent and I almost ran away in fear.

Well, cameras don’t lie a**hole! When it was my turn to give my statement, I played back his cruiser dashcam, which CLEARLY showed him being a dick, pointing his hands away as if he’s going to fight a 17 year old puny 5 foot 8 guy.

The judge f*cking grilled him. She constantly said this was an abuse of power, a waste of resources, and that recommended the officer to read up on what public and federal restricted property was. The whole ordeal was embarrassing for him and I kind of felt bad because people were giving him dagger eyes the whole time.

Anyways, ticket is thrown out and I head out the room. I see the cop on the parking lot, and right as I pass by, he says exactly “f*cking brown motherf*cker, get f*cked”. I was f*cking shocked by this, so I went home and filed a complaint at his Depot.

No response for 7 days, then 15. So I call them back about it.

“Yes, he is not working at this branch anymore, we can still assist you with anything pertaining to this report sir.”

“No it’s alright, thanks”.

That was it. A**hole either got fired, or got moved away.

Hit the Books

Summary: jealousy is no one’s friend || prof!//college au

Pairing: professor stan & evans // evanstan x reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: flirting, sexual innuendos

A/N: uhhhh there might be a part 2? if y’all want it? let me know


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our little family pt.4 | park jimin

Originally posted by bwiseoks

Pairing: Father! Jimin + Reader

Genre: Fluff/Angst + parent au

Word Count: 4.7k

Summary: You were just a pre-school teacher, a simple dream that came true as you always adored children. But what you didn’t know, was how one child and her very special father would change you dream forever.

Parts: 1 2 3 4

AN: mAN THIS ONE IS A LONG ONE BUT EEEEK ITS MY FAV PART SO ENJOY GUYS!!!

Reader’s POV

Readjusting your hat on your head, you rested a hand on your hip before wiping away the sweat that trickled down the side of your face. Who would’ve known that the day you had planned a field trip for the kids was the day of the record highest temperature your city had seen in the last decade.

Clearly you didn’t, because here you were with twenty sweaty, hungry and excited children all screaming and attacking you at once.

“Ms.L/N! Ms.L/N?! MS.L/N~” the children yelled, snapping you out of your trance, the heat making your head spin.

Looking down at the two children tugging at your skirt, they pointed towards the playground nearby and begged, “Can we all go play at the playground over there Ms.L/N? Please~” as they continued to put on their puppy faces, knowing well enough how irresistible they were to you.

Sighing, you nodded and immediately after, the rest of the children followed the two, running towards the playground and attacking the swings, slides, and see-saws with all their might.

“Be careful! And don’t fight- Minjae-ah! Get off Eunhae!” you yelled in exasperation, picking up your bag and trudging your way to the playground ahead. Finding a spot in the shade, under a big tree, you set down your stuff on the bench beside it. 

Taking a walk around, you made sure all your kids were playing together, none of them hurting one another or themselves, at the least.

After you finished breaking up a fight over the sandbox, got a screaming kid off the monkey bars who was too afraid to let go and trying your hardest to calm down a crying child who accidentally stepped on an ant and killed it, you went to sit under a large oak tree, wanting to be away from the blinding sun.

Why are children so difficult to handle? you helplessly thought to yourself as you momentarily laid back against the tree trunk, your eyes fluttering close.

Just then you felt something wet stain your arm.

As you peeked your eyes open, you looked up to see a crow sitting on a branch as it blinked at you, making you slowly look down to your right arm.

“You did not.” you gasped as you looked back up at the crow and down at the large pool of shit it left on your arm.

After blinking at your for a bit, almost mockingly, it flew away making you mutter a couple words you knew you shouldn’t have said with all these children around.

As you made your way to the bench where all your stuff were, you pulled out your water bottle and washed the sticky mess from your arm. Casually looking around the playground, you started to make a mental count of all your kids, when suddenly your eyes went wide.

It was as if it all happened in slow motion.

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we’re not allowed to listen to “Closer” by the Chainsmokers anymore because one time my roommate was on a bus and the girl next to her listened to that song on repeat for the ENTIRE 6 hour bus ride, and jammed out EVERY SINGLE TIME so every time it comes on my roommate just looks into the camera like she’s on The Office and whispers “bus girl”