this vlog was honestly so aesthetically pleasing :) this was really fun to do and it really the first big thing ive done digitally in a while and the first that im super proud of! i hope you like it too!!
why keith is considered ‘the best pilot of his generation’
can eat a whole mandarin in one bite, skin and all
knows all the words to ‘paul blart mall cop’
swallowed some tadpoles at the garrison because a kid dared him he wouldn’t and he also wanted to see if they’d grow into frogs in his stomach
his favourite snack is tomato sauce on ice cream
once made eye contact with a baby at walmart and refused to look away for 46 mins for fear of looking weak
stubs his toe on a daily basis and doesn’t even flinch
mispronounces 'ask’ as 'axe’
spells it as 'axe’ too
'i’ll just axe him nicely shiro’ 'ok keith let’s not do that’
chews on pencils instead of sharpening them
still believes in santa claus at age 18
'i have a crush on lance what should i do?’ 'flowers are always nice-’ 'you’re right shiro i’ll steal his social security number and get him arrested for fraud, then bail him out so he falls in love with me’
can sing in a perfect falsetto all the words to celine dion’s 1997 smash hit 'my heart will go on’
bought his jacket from the kids’ section
legally changed his name to 'flurb’ because he was feeling sad and needed something to make him laugh
can flip pancakes perfectly
doesn’t need to use conditioner
wears leather and carries lighters to impress boys but lies down on the sidewalk and wails when he sees a small dog
grew a mullet because nobody trusts him near scissors
can’t use his knife to cut it either because truthfully he doesn’t know what knives are used for, he just thinks they look cool
got expelled for coming to an exam 2 hours late and yelling 'what the hap is fuckening’
keith: 'so i’m half alien…is this why i pour milk before cereal?’ kolivan cringing: 'no that’s just you’
So I was going through our bookshelf yesterday, because we’re fast approaching the point where we need a clear-out, and I came across one of my all-time favourite creations ever, probably even beating shit like the wheel and penicillin. Years back, before leaving The Man to pursue his dreams of being a sort of professional clown-thing, my husband used to be a translator for Neath Port Talbot Council; as is often the way with Welsh councils, though, owing to a lack of money and also everywhere is really close to each other (this country is 150 miles wide at its widest point, and about 47 miles at the thin bit. Ver ver small), NPT Council’s translating department was shared by Swansea Council. Thus it was that, in the halcyon days of circa 2009, the two decided to team up and produce a new Welsh language book for learners between them, and thus it got sent through to Steffan to proof read it.
A Thing You May Not Know: Welsh is one of ten indigenous languages to Britain, arguably the oldest, and has been viciously oppressed over the last millennium and a half as part of England’s big If You Destroy Their Culture They’ll Be Glad To Be Ruled By You policy. These days, it’s nonetheless still spoken by approximately a fifth of the Welsh population; a hell of a feat, considering, but the suppression of it continues to this day (just in cleverer, sneakier ways now than whipping people’s children if they’re heard.) But it is classified as Endangered. Thanks to Welsh-language schools now being a thing (though supply is much lower than demand), transmission rates to the younger generation are pretty good; but, Welsh is peculiarly dependent on adult learners.
This means that learner books might have to appeal to both children and adults while using very simple language, which I explain in case it in some way justifies the bewildering weirdness of what I’m about to show you; because at first glance, this book is simply for children. But it’s… Well.
I present to you, with translations in bold and commentary by me, Y Babi Sinsir.
Literally, “the Ginger Baby”, but they mean ‘ginger’ as in ‘gingerbread’. Literal ginger. Not the colour.
This is Mr Jones. This is Mrs Jones.
What’s wrong, Mrs Jones? I want a baby.
Note: there will be some confusion in this book about whether the narrator is speaking, or anyone else. It might seem cut and dried here, but there are no speech marks around “Dw i eisiau babi”, whereas later speech marks are used, and also in two pages’ time the narrator will actively pass a value judgement using first person, so… Well.
But, so far so good.
Mrs Jones is making a Babi Sinsir.
… okay, so I like this page because of the capitalisation of Babi Sinsir and the lack of definite article. She’s just making a Babi Sinsir. You know, a Babi Sinsir? Magical baby made of gingerbread that you make if you can’t conceive but can’t afford IVF? Yeah. A Babi Sinsir. That’s right.
Let it be known that this is Not A Thing in Welsh folklore or mythology. What the fuck. How does this work. Where does the magic come from? Do you need a faerie ingredient? Will the next page tell us?
This is the Babi Sinsir. I like the Babi Sinsir.
But it is apparently shit-capable and needs a nappy. It’s good that the narrator likes it anyway.
The Babi Sinsir is bad. He’s running.
“Come back, Babi Sinsir.”
Look how Worried the Joneses are. Funny how they don’t seem to be calling that enthusiastically, though. I’d have expected an exclamation mark at least. Did Mrs Jones always have a massive left arm? I can’t remember.
“Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”
Yeah, okay, so that’s the Welsh for “Run! Run! As fast as you can! You can’t catch me, I’m the gingerbread man!”, but once again, I’m going to have to draw attention to the lack of expressive punctuation here. It really feels like this naughty Babi Sinsir’s heart is just not in this.
“Come and help, Mr Horse.” “Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”
Cool, look, a floating horse has come to help.
The pen there, incidentally, was an attempt by the translators to work out who was talking. I can’t imagine why. This dialogue is on fire, everyone can tell.
“Come and help, Mrs Cow.” “Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”
Now they have been joined in their high-speed zombie shuffle by a married floating cow who is, if I’m not much mistaken, high as shit.
“Come and help, Mr Goat.”“Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”
I’m starting to suspect the artist only knew how to draw the legs on animals in one way.
“Come and help, Mr Dog.”“Run, run, Catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”
Yes, that dog is definitely here to ‘help’. Also… the Babi Sinsir is literally within reach of Mrs Jones’ massive left arm now. Why is she not just picking him up?
“Come and help, Miss Cat.” “Run, run, Catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”
You may be wondering at this point if this is just… the whole book. An ever-increasing flock of floating zombie creatures shuffling after a naughty gingerbread baby in a nappy who is committing the cardinal sin of running. I mean… where can they go from here, amirite? A sheep? A squirrel? A chicken? We can hit a hundred pages this way, easy. The concern is the artist, whom I think was stretched a bit beyond their means on this project anyway.
BUT WORRY NOT! Shit’s about to go down, guys.
Oh no! Here comes Mr Wolf. Mr Wolf runs and catches the Babi Sinsir.
THAT IS A FOX
THAT IS A GODDAMN FOX YOU HEATHEN FUCK
WHAT THE FUCK
AND WHY THE FUCK IS IT WEARING CLOTHES WHEN NONE OF THE OTHER ANIMALS WERE
WHY IS IT DRESSED IN DUNGAREES LIKE A LAZY FARMHAND ON AN AMERICAN RANCH IN THE 1800S
This doesn’t bode well for the -
Half of the Babi Sinsir is left.
Quarter of the Babi Sinsir is left.
WHY DOES IT STILL LOOK SAD AND HORRIFIED WHY IS IT STILL ALIVE OH MY GOD
The Babi Sinsir has gone! There’s tasty.
I realise this is not the main point to make here, but two pages ago it had eaten half of that nappy, and now it’s whole again and delicately discarded to one side, I just want
It’s okay, right? This happens in fairytales? Little Red Riding Hood? Someone will eviscerate the fox and out will come the Babi Sinsir…’s pieces, and they can be baked back together…?
No one cares!
Mrs Jones is making another Babi Sinsir.
The new Babi Sinsir loves Mrs Jones.
…okay, so there’s a lot for us all to take in right now, and we’re all going to get through it at different speeds. But I’m just going to draw attention to the fact that Mr Jones is now merely depicted as a picture on the wall, and the new Babi Sinsir apparently only loves Mrs Jones, and…
Okay so they just lost their beloved baby gingerbread son because he got eaten alive by a fox in dungarees calling itself a wolf, right? Mrs Jones apparently couldn’t give less of a fuck if she tried, as long as she has some flour and ginger left over to make another. This one she made to love her.
Mr Jones, I presume, had a total mental breakdown and drank himself to death. At the very least, he’s left her, look. All she has left is the photo.
But does dim ots! Mae’r Babi Sinsir newydd yn caru Mrs Jones.
And that is the story of Y Babi Sinsir, aka the greatest work of literature ever written.
I totally get the sentiment going around that people don’t want Percy to be a god’s champion just because everybody’s doing it, particularly because he’s got such a rough relationship with gods.
But I think that’s because he sought out the Raven Queen first, and the Raven Queen and Percy don’t understand each other. The Raven Queen is fatalistic. In her eyes, humans begin their lives imperfect, march toward their fates, and perhaps they achieve greatness, but they all end the same way: they go to meet her. Percy just doesn’t think in those dimensions. He altered the course of humanity with his invention, and blaming that on fate would be to shirk responsibility. He has seen people defy and defile death time and again. When he pleads with the Raven Queen for a way to fix what he’s done to the world, he is thinking of redemption but also that he lives as long as Whitestone lives, and that the impact of his weakness will matter, will change lives and end them, long after he is gone. The Raven Queen comforts him by saying humanity can achieve great things, but that is no comfort to Percy, whose greatest achievement is arguably the very weapon that killed him.
If there is a god who would understand him it would be Ioun. She’s a goddess of knowledge, an inventor, and like Percy she was betrayed and wounded in the course of invention. Ioun is blinded; Percy’s soul is in tatters thanks to Orthax. She lives in a place of uncomfortable paradox, where all knowledge should be shared for the sake of progress, and secrets are blasphemous, even if that knowledge can hurt or break or kill - but even then, even she has secrets she can’t afford to share. We haven’t seen much of Ioun, but I think she would think like Percy. Not along the threads of fate, like the Raven Queen and her champion, but in an impersonal chemical chain of combination and creation, knowing well the unforeseen impacts of discovery. She despises the aspiring god who took Percy’s family. Her domain is profoundly controversial and unsure. Percy asked his questions of the Raven Queen, and she answered the wrong questions. Ioun has probably asked Percy’s questions a hundred times about herself.
And of course there’s something delightful about the fact that Percy could earn the favour of the goddess that Pelor is protecting.
It’s likely that any number of entities will be fighting over my soul when I die, he says. I know, says the Champion of Pelor, I’ll be one of them.
So I love headcanons where Mitsuki and Inko are friends before having their boys, but consider that maybe Inko and Masaru knew each other first!! Since he’s a fashion designer and Inko is a seamstress (I mean come on Deku’s first hero outfit looks COOL! She took that design and made it for him!!!) it just makes sense that they might’ve been in like a fashion club together hehe!
Then after that Inko meets Mitsuki and they become BEST FRIENDS!!!
Also here’s a bonus thing NO ONE IS GOING TO GET!!!
Can I just talk about how proud Peter was with his homemade Spider-Man suit? In the beginning of the film, he wasn’t aware that Tony Stark made him a suit so the kid brought his own costume. When he was filming everything he said “Okay, Peter. You got this. You got this.” while looking at the mirror looking nervous but excited at the same time because out of all the people, he was going to help Mr. Stark fight Captain America.
So when Happy said, “What are you wearing?” Peter was so confused and the camera showed him looking down to his outfit while saying in such an innocent way, “It’s my suit!”
You can tell it in his tone of voice that this was something he was very proud of. He most likely even sewn it himself. It’s something a 15-year-old with not much allowance can come up with. It wasn’t about just looking cool (for a kid), it was something that he would be wearing around comfortably, swinging here and there. I mean, it’s made up of a hoodie, long sleeved shirt, and joggers. Tony may have made fun of it and called it pajamas, but it’s something Peter was happy about because he designed it himself and you can even notice the spider symbol on his hoodie chest was drawn using a sharpie. He didn’t have resources but he improvised.
His homemade web-shooters? According to the Art of the Movie book, his web shooters have two separate cases that contained two chemicals and when he presses the button, it mixes as it moves forward to produce his webbing. That’s pretty darn neat that he came up with it and manufactured it himself. And I absolutely loved the fact that he was making his web fluid during chemistry lab class in secret when his teacher wasn’t looking and that’s just pretty realistic because again, he didn’t have the materials at home. He’s a dumpster diver and I wouldn’t be surprised if his web-shooters initially came from that.
And his mask? It can squint and everything and then I realized, he made it especially like that because his senses are dialed to 11 and he needed to focus because there was just too much input for him. As much as possible, he’d like to prevent sensory overload. I liked the fact Tony took this into consideration as well since the new suit was able to do that too.
Peter’s a resourceful kid and I loved that about him. So when Happy showed him the new and improved suit made by Tony Stark, he was so over the moon and went “Oh my god. I-I… I don’t understand. Is it… is it for me?!” It was just so pure and the innocence around it was amazing.
And honestly? He deserved it. He deserved it so much and I’m so happy for him that he got a multi-million dollar suit and yet he still kept his first suit.
regarding the Italian entry for Eurovision Song Contest 2017, I’d like to tell you what the song is about. I’ve been reading a looot of comments, people yelling “cultural appropriation” and “racism” which are two very importants problems in our society.
The song is called “Occidentali’s Karma” and it’s by Francesco Gabbani.
“Occidentali” of course is not an English word, it’s Italian and it means “Westeners”. So the title is basically “Westeners’ Karma”. (I might also explain why this anglicism in particular but then the post would be too long)
Because the whole song is a CRITIC to Western misuse (and abuse) of wisdom, religions, concepts that belong to Oriental cultures.
The song mocks all those people that act all spiritual and stuff but don’t go deep enough to understand a culture, or a religion. The words you hear in the song, and that make you angry because you think it’s wrong that he, a white Italian guy, is singing them, are actually quotes. He’s not making fun of a culture when he says Namaste: he’s quoting those who get tattoos of stuff they don’t get and that say random foreign words just to be cool, and yes, he’s making fun of those people.
He’s basically saying; “look at us, we go look for wisdom in Orient and we come back quoting stuff to look cool and enlightened but in the end we’re all “naked apes” dancing (he literally says “La Scimmia Nuda”, ahem https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Naked_Ape)
He’s not an idiot. He knows what he’s singing about. He knows the importance of the many Oriental cultures and religions and he also knows those people who act like “web’s know-it-all” (”i tuttologi del web”, as he says in the song) and pretend to be experts of those cultures, because they had a yoga lesson once or because they eat sushi every Friday. He talks about evolution, he uses scientific and religious terms as someone who’s trying to look cool would use them. (Namaste? Aleeeè!) (ever been to a footbal match? Aleeee alee aleee aleeee) (same thing)
I KNOW that cultural appropriation is a very important problem, but Francesco Gabbani knows too and he’s basically as pissed as you are, and he made a good song about it.
I know that if you don’t speak Italian and look at the lyrics you’d start screaming, but instead of using, idk, google translate (which is terrible when it comes to Italian, go ask my high school professors who still yell at the students who use it for their homework), ask us to translate it. Ask us what the hell is the talking about. what people is he talking about.
And that said, see you at Eurovision, come dance with us