real talk though: in the fault in our stars, hazel and gus use “stars” to refer to both their thoughts (“my thoughts are stars i can’t fathom into constellations”) and champagne (“come quickly! i am tasting the stars”) so if you were really good at misunderstanding things the title could mean “the fault in our expensive alcoholic drink” instead of “the fault in our thinking” i love double metaphors
first kiss at a party in a friend’s basement, we are 13 and you have braces and my friends and i had talked about whether that would be a problem. i wore a yellow dress over black skinny jeans because i liked to feel rebellious and i hated tights. 6 girls texted me to tell me i was a slut, a whore, a tramp, a bitch, a cunt, a man stealer. you had broken up with her a month ago and i didn’t see the problem.
first kiss outside of starbucks because that’s what we think dates are, i am 14 and you are 15 and you kiss me upside-down like spiderman after saying “hey, i think i might love you,” after deliberating for three whole months of frappucinos. the men at the table next to us cheer, for you, because you have made a conquest. you run home, embarrassed and happy, and i get in my mom’s car, embarrassed and happy.
first kiss was probably in your bed, but im not sorry to say i remember all the times i rejected you better than i remember the times i actually kissed you. i am 15 you are 17 and i am again a slut, a whore, a bitch, a cunt, a lying man-stealer and a shitty excuse for a friend. i used you as an excuse to end a friendship that didn’t need to end and i spent two whole years trying to rebuild a bridge i burned for a boy i hated.
first kiss on the couch in your basement watching the shining, i am 15 you have just turned 16 and we are nervous and sweaty in june, and i laugh at you later because you dont know what a hickey is. you accidentally say “i love you” and i say it too and i laugh and take it back, quickly. im still not a black hole, im still not your summer.
first kiss on my porch, you are so excited you accidentally tell me you love me, we have been waiting for this one for what feels like forever but what has actually only been four days, four days of the forest and watching stars and sneaking out and falling too fast. i am 15 you are 16 we lie about the kissing for another month so we dont hurt any feelings, but we come home covered in grass stains from ignoring the fireflies in the park. the idea of kissing you tastes like dirt now, tastes like blood and worms.
first kiss was a mistake on the couch, at least we’ll pretend it was a mistake that never happened because i am 16 you are 16 we are both supposed to be kissing other people. you run away for a whole week and my head feels empty. i pretend i havent spent two years filling the hole shaped like you with other mouths.
first real kiss in your car, spontaneous, you tell me you dont think its safe for you to drive home and i spend the whole night laughing because ive spent months crying and i think i feel happy again. we are 17 and this must be love, but i wont say so yet. i dont want to jinx it. give it a few days, and then sixteen hypocritical texts remind me that kissing people to make myself happy is selfish and i dont deserve to smile like that. i ignore them.
first kiss because we are drunk and we are best friends and we are 17 in the woods behind the mormon church and our friend has told us we should. thats what friends are for.
first kiss because we are drunk and we are friends and we are 17 and it is prom, isn’t it wonderful, please pass the bowl.
first kiss because you want to kiss somebody, and it is a sweet peck, and we are 17 and it is prom and friends are for smiling.
first kiss as a joke, we are 17 and drunk. id say its the second worst.
first kiss we call it a joke, i am 17 and you are 18 and we are drunk and there are fireworks everywhere, and it was only a kiss, and thats what friends do, they kiss and light fires.
first kiss after the crying, i am 17 and you are 18 and i am so sorry. i kiss you like theres nobody else. theres nobody else. it shouldn’t count as a first kiss, because it must be the one hundred thousandth kiss, but it felt like a first kiss when i thought id never kiss you again. this time, i called myself names, said fool and fuckup and idiot and loser and moron, told myself i deserved whatever you gave me. i didn’t expect to deserve love.
first kiss at a party, we are 18, you are brokenhearted and lonely and i am leaving, it is a peck to reassure you. this is what friends are for.
first kiss when i am 18 and you are 18 and we are 18 and we are alive. it’s not really a first kiss. i just like writing about your mouth because it writes me into existence. kiss me again.
A sturdy young waiter with wavy blond hair appeared. He was maybe even taller than Augustus.
“ Do you know,” he asked in delicious accent, “what Dom Pérignon said after inventing champagne?”
“No” I said.
“He called out to his fellow monks, ‘Come quickly: I am tasting the stars.’ Welcome to Amsterdam. Would you like to see the menu, or will you have the chef’s choice?”
Luke didn’t like the way that man was looking at you. Not at all. He know, as well as you, that a cantina was a sketchy place. So much so, that if he didn’t see someone that made his skin crawl, he would have worried. Still, the man that had his eyes on you was worse than any of them. He looked off- even in the cantina- which made it even more of a problem. He had seen you catch his eyes on you a few times but each time you politely smiled and returned to what you were doing. Even so, his eyes remained on you with a sly smirk on his face. Luke sat in the chair next to you, eyeing the man down, but he didn’t seem to get the hint. “He’s got to be drunk.” Luke muttered to himself under his breath, as he took a sip of his drink. “What?.. Who?” You turned in your seat with an inquisitive look on your face. “Huh? Uh, nothing.” He shook his head, waving dismissively as he put his drink back on the counter. Raising an eyebrow, you looked at him with an expression that read, “Seriously?”. “Come on, Luke. Who? We’re in a cantina, everyone is drunk. They must have been doing something to stand out from the crowd.” You smiled with a small laugh, as you playfully nudged his arm. But seeing his expression harden as he looked at someone behind you, not giving in to your playful manner, you gave him a look of concern. “Come on, What’s wrong, Luke?” He sighed, taking another sip of his glass. “I just don’t like the way that guy is staring at you.” He half mumbled the response, not wanting you to hear it. But you heard it anyways, as you turned around in your chair scanning the room and answered, “Who? I don’t see any……Oh. That guy.” As your eyes met his, he sent you a smirk and raised his glass, tipping it to you, and then taking a huge gulp. You rolled your eyes as you turned back to face Luke, “Don’t worry about him, Luke. He’s been doing that all night. Probably thinks I’m an easy target.” Scoffing at those words, you continued, “Big surprise he’s gonna get if he makes a move.” You took a sip of your drink waiting for Luke to talk. He didn’t however. Instead, he just took another drink, giving the man a glare that probably would have scared the pants off of the Emperor himself. Looking at the lack of reaction to the man, you muttered to yourself, “Yep, definitely drunk.” The both of you sat in silence, drinking your drinks for a few moments before you saw the man stand up. Strangely, a feeling of dread washed over you. You knew you could handle yourself, you were training as a Jedi for the gods’ sakes. But nonetheless, you felt it. He stood up walking, more like stumbling, slowly towards you. Luke stood, grabbing his robe and your waist slightly. “We should go.” He said pulling you from you chair and out of your daze as if he could feel your discomfort. “Yeah..yeah we should.” Quickly grabbing your own robes, you and Luke began to walk briskly out of the cantina, Luke’s arm still ghosting around you waist, guiding you out. The chilly night air of Coruscant greeted the both of you, as you stepped out of the cantina. It was making you angry, the nerve of that guy, and you made it pretty clear with your words, “If that guy even thinks about coming out here and making a move on me I am going to kick him so hard where the stars don’t shine, he’s going to be tasting the leather of those pants for a week.” Luke looked at you with his eyebrows raised, slight shock on his face. You turned around, blood boiling, as you looked him in the eyes, “I mean it, Skywalker.” He laughed lightly and grabbed you gently pulling you with him, “Come on, (y/n). I think you’ve had a little to much to drink tonight.” You wiggled from his grasp and pointed your finger at him, “Damn Straight!” But before Luke could say anything, the cantina doors opened to reveal…him. You whipped your head around, inraged once more. He was definitely drunk, very drunk, as he tripped over to you. “Hey, pretty lady. How bout you come home with me tonight?” His words were slurred and disoriented as he got close to you. Luke was furious, seeing your leg swing back, ready to power kick the man, he stepped in between the two of you. “Why don’t you just back off, buddy, before somebody gets hurt.” He was trying to keep the peace, even though he wanted to kick the guy just as much as you did. The guy smirked, pointing at Luke with the bottle in his hand, “Ooh, look we got a tuff guy over here. Maybe you should back off. I think the girl would prefer me over you.” He poked Luke in the chest, which was just enough to set him off. He shoved him back and went to step forward to get the guy, but you had sped in front of him and sent a kick at the man. But in your drunken stupor, you kicked him in the shin, missing your intended target. He grew instantly angry, bringing his hand back, he backhanded you across the face, “That’ll teach you to disrespect me, slut.” The moment the words hit Luke’s ears, his anger got the best of him. He jumped at the man, instinctively grabbing for his lightsaber, and igniting it. The weapon was held against the, now terrified, man, “You will never touch her again, Do you understand me? Now I want you to leave, and I should never see your face again.” The growl in Luke’s voice sunk the message in further, as he let go of the man’s collar. You ran over quickly to the two men before the creep could leave. Death glaring him, you put every inch of power you could muster, including the Force for an extra hit, into your leg and you sent it towards him. This time, you could aim. He keeled over, face scrunched in pain. “Now get out!” You yelled at him, causing him to pull himself up, looking at Luke with a frightened glance, and limped away. You smiled at your work, but it only caused your cheek to hurt. You brought a hand up to rub it, but Luke stopped you. “I just want to see it.” He spoke calmly to you, tilting your chin up towards the light to see the bruise that had already formed. He gritted his teeth, but calmed himself, as he gently brought his hand up and brushed his thumb over your cheek. “Bastard.” He muttered under his breath as he looked at the mark. “It’s fine,” You shrugged your shoulders slightly, “I’ve had worse.” Luke looked into your eyes for a moment, so much care and worry in his gaze, and then smiled. Laughing a little, he let go of your face and wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “Come on, tough girl. Let’s get you back to the Falcon before you crash.” You grinned, walking with Luke back to the ship, talking and laughing the whole way.