come out of the bathroom

i genuinely don’t think i have the motivation to finish this but here it is i guess

also don’t reupload this unless u want to get ur balls cut off

Alex refuses to take Kara to any human bars because every time they go out Kara will go to the bathroom and never come back, and when Alex goes to investigate she’ll find Kara sitting on the counter surrounded by drunk girls and they’re all just complimenting and validating the shit out of each other and basically every drunk girl that Kara meets immediately clings to her like velcro and its just one big validation fest and honestly it becomes a fire hazard with all those girls in there

Your Spouse goes into the bathroom only to come running out 15 seconds later. Clutching you close they tell you they fell into another dimension and what felt like seconds to you was a 1,000 years to them. They now want you to follow them back because they have built a life for you there.

The first time he sees you in lingerie - Male Avengers Headcanon

This wasn’t requested but idc, @scarlettsoldier and I were talking about plus size models lmao

Originally posted by little--batman

Bucky: 

He’d be so taken aback, but in the good way. He’d look you up and down, drinking you in. He’d bite his lip as he would make his way over to you, absolutely lost in the scraps of lace and bare skin, then he’d look into your eyes before mumbling that you’re so beautiful, before kissing you so passionately with his fingers tangled in your hair. “You’re gonna kill me, darlin’” 

Originally posted by ohevansmycaptain

Steve:

Steve would be so flustered, having never seen a woman in lingerie in the flesh. He would be rooted to to the spot once he walked into your shared bedroom. His facial expression would make you nervous, “Steve…Do- Do you like it?” “Oh G-God yes I do, doll, you look marvelous” It would be you that’d have to make the first move, you would take his large hands in yours and place them on your silk covered hips. He felt like a virgin again, but Jesus H. Christ, he was going to try and not ruin those skimpy piece of fabric the moment he got a hold on himself.

Originally posted by littlemisssyreid

Sam:

You’d be looking in the vanity mirror in your bedroom, catching a glance of the handsome man at the door in the reflection before smirking at him. You’d bought the undergarments as his birthday present. You blushed as his slender fingers made their way along your shoulders to move your hair out of the way. He would press kisses to your neck and mumble “happy birthday to me” whilst smiling as his hands wandered…

Originally posted by rad-aar

Tony: 

You’d walk into his lab wearing a black trench coat over the top, of course. His head didn’t turn until he heard your voice say “FRIDAY, lock the doors please.” He’d cock a brow up at your dolled up form, his eyes would travel down your legs and then his brows would raise when he saw them bare, his jaw would fall slack but would quickly pick back with a sly smirk. As you would unbutton the trench coat, letting it slide to the floor (whilst keeping eye contact and also biting your lip) you’d hear the words “Oh, my beautiful baby girl, come to daddy…”

Originally posted by theplacewheredreamsgo

Thor:

You had definitely remembered to pack your black corset number in your bag before Thor took you to Asgard for the first time. You wanted this trip to be memorable as possible. When he first sees you in it, you’re both in his bedchamber, you’re coming out of the en suite bathroom and his mighty facade drops completely and he chokes on his mead, he’s completely awestruck, for he had never seen such undergarments, ever. He would gently pull you between his open legs, trailing his large hands across the rigid bones of the black corset, to the silk panties below, all the way down to the lace tops of your stockings. “Do you like it, my love?” “I love it, My Queen.”

Originally posted by luvn-loki

Loki: (slightly AU)

Loki had been down the past couple of weeks, trying to adjust to being an avenger and the people around him. You wanted to cheer him up with something new, you knew behind his hard facade there was a troubled man. So you rummaged through your drawers and found the one thing you needed, the unused white lace panties and bra. You hastily slipped them on before throwing a t-shirt and shorts on over the top, before calling Loki through FRIDAY. As he opened the door to your room, he would give you a small smile before laying down next to you. “I have a present for you, darling” you would say, “and what would that be, my love?” “me, now I want you to take me out of my packaging” As he would peel your shirt up, his eyes would widen at the unusual underwear you were wearing, his hands would come to cup your breasts but at the same time, admire the fine lacework, he would let out a soft groan as he saw your panties..

Originally posted by justawkwardgirl

Bruce:

Oh god, the GIF says it all. He’d be quietly reading in his room, when you’d just saunter in casually in your pyjamas. You both usually slept in underwear, or naked *wink wink*, so as you padded towards the bed, you began to remove your clothing, as Bruce caught a glimpse of purple from beneath his lashes, he looked at you like so, and put his book down. He would murmur ‘oh god, oh god, oh god’ under his breath as you crawled your way towards him, straddling him. You would grab his hands and place them just below your breasts where the purple lace finished, urging him into touching you. His touches would be delicate and curious at first, “You like it, Bruce?” “Uh- Uh yes, baby it’s beautiful, but not as much as you” he would proceed to grasp your hip tighter as his other hand brought your chest down flush onto his, he would moan heavily into your kiss at the feeling of the lace scratching against his skin

Originally posted by arlothia

Clint:

As soon as he would see you, his mouth would go completely dry, and if you were in a cartoon his eyes would pop out of his head. He’d mumble, “Oh fuck, YES!”  before making grabby hands at you, begging you to come and sit on his lap (I mean seriously, look at them thighs!) He’d become bold and immediately kiss your breasts over the velvet fabric as his hands would ping the elastic of your stockings. He’d tell you how sexy you’d look on top of him in such attire whilst his hand would come to softly grasp your throat…

Originally posted by son-of-a-blake

Pietro:

You would be getting ready for a party- you didn’t intend for him to see you in your lacy undergarments until after the party! It was supposed to be a surprise! But as Pietro would come through your door he would make said face, giving you a once over, (ogling at your behind, obviously) whilst having a devilish grin on his face whilst saying “Ah, princezná, all for me?” making you whip around in shock. 

Period Struggles Compilation For No Particular Reason

giant blood diaper

the bathroom stinks to hell for a week

sneezing

coughing

laughing

yet somehow crying my eyes out doesn’t cause debilitating pain

speaking of - CRAMPS

ALL OF THE CRAMPS

SERIOUSLY IT FEELS LIKE THAT METAL HEAD-THINGY THAT GIRL WORE IN THE FIRST SAW MOVIE IS AROUND MY HIPS

googling ways to relieve cramps and seeing pictures of women all folded up like human pretzels like what human being can actually do that with a pad on wtf

saying “fuck” every three minutes 

it’s 3 in the morning and I’m standing here in my underwear washing blood out of my pajamas literally fuck everything 

wtf these aren’t my usual pads what’s this bullshit why do these even exist

then when I get my period in a hotel and they give me cheap, crappy pads with no goddamn wings what the fuck kind of customer service is this

*drops something* *tries to pick it up without bending over*

*in the shower* is that dust or blood clots

oh hey look there’s blood on the floor again

*wakes up in a panic* IS THERE BLOOD ON MY SHEETS

oh good there’s nothing

*wakes up again two minutes later* BUT IS THERE BL—

*lies awake in bed all night convinced I’ve got a leak*

*one time, just one time, has a peaceful night’s sleep* *wakes up with a leak*

that weird feeling like you’re being stabbed in the vagina by tiny people with tiny swords

that other weird feeling like a zombie bit you inside your uterus and now it’s slowly rotting from the inside out

no I’m not exaggerating that’s exactly what it feels like

crying for no reason

did i mention giant blood diaper

because it’s literally a giant blood diaper

maxi pads. fucking maxi pads. 

hey if i jump out that window will i die 

lying in bed, curled into a tight ball, praying for the sweet embrace of death

pink painkillers 

all of the hot water bottles 

but let’s be real that shit doesn’t work 

neither do the painkillers tbh 

so then I come home and collapse onto my bed and suddenly my dog is there sniffing my butt like seriously as if this wasn’t embarrassing enough already

“alright class today we’ll warm up by running around the field” *screams* 

every time you sit out during the swimming unit in pe and the pe teachers side-eye you the whole time

plus all the girl’s periods synch up so like half the class is sitting on the bleachers dying on the inside and the pe teachers think it’s all a big conspiracy 

“you know they have invented solutions for this exact problem”

^no lie, my science teacher told us this last month. everyone just stared at him in silence until he changed the topic. 

can I get a sick note for my period?

when you have to change in the middle of class and you try to discreetly take your bag with you and everyone looks up

“hey can you check if there’s blood on my pants” 

“if you hate pads so much why don’t you try a tampon” oh yes sure let me just shove a tiny cotton stick up my vagina that sounds pleasant

when you complain about your period to the squad and suddenly half of the boys have disappeared off the face of the earth 

*displays slightest hint of irritation after being provoked for a prolonged period of time*  “geez someone’s on their period”

“looks like someone bought the wrong tampon brand lol”

no

no don’t make jokes about that

that shit is the worst

To quote iiSuperwomanii: “My shedding uterus has standards.” 

trying to open your pad as quietly as possible but you know the other girls in the school bathroom can hear

then you come out of the stall and make eye contact in the mirror and tHeY KnOw

AND HOW THE FUCK

DOES MY PERIOD SOMEHOW ALWAYS KNOW

WHEN TO COME AT THE EXACT MOST INCONVENIENT TIME?? 

oh it’s your birthday? here’s a fun present!

oh it’s christmas? guess who’s not going sledding 

oh you’re being sent on a six-hour hike on your school trip in a mountain with no bathrooms? this seems like a good time for satan’s waterfall 

oh you were looking forward to a nice, relaxed half-term break? lol bitch not anymore

*cries internally*

*cries externally*

*cries eternally*


I hope this has been educational 

The American Medical Association says anti-trans “bathroom bills” are harmful to people’s health

  • The nation’s largest association of medical doctors has officially come out against discriminatory “bathroom bills,” saying that they’re harmful to both the mental and physical health of people affected by the legislation, NBC News reported on Thursday.
  • At their annual meeting this week, the American Medical Association adopted a resolution officially opposing “bathroom bills” that prevent transgender people from using public bathrooms that match their gender identities. Read more (6/16/17)

Inspired by this absolutely angsty masterpiece by @jackalopes-vld

This is really angsty and references intrusive thoughts, so please keep yourself safe.

WC: 1574


Annoying.

He’s not annoying. People like being around him. He’s not annoying.

Good for nothing.

He’s their sharpshooter. He has a purpose.

Worthless.

He’s worth something.

Seventh wheel.

He’s… He is the seventh wheel. There isn’t a doubt about that.

Can’t handle the stress.

He can’t. It gnaws at him every waking moment.

Can’t deal with criticism.

Fuck. It hurts, okay? Not everyone is graceful with that shit.

Useless weight brought along out of pity.

Stop.

Nothing.

Stop!

Just fucking leave.

Please. Please, just stop. Please.

Keep reading

Come Here Little Girl

Word count: 2,366

Warning: SMUT, daddy kink, rough sex, slight bondage

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Summary/Request: Thank you @thedevilsbestie for your request!

On a hunt, Y/N is surprised to find out in such circumstances, a kink that she has – as is Dean. They try it out when they get back to the motel room.

“I am not doing that. No way!” You shouted through the motel room.
“Come on Y/N this is where he’s going to be and it’s probably our only chance to kill him.” Dean argued. “I have to go too.”
You snorted, “You get to wear clothes though, you don’t have to go in your fucking underwear!”
You had been on this case for the past two weeks trying to find the vampire that was terrorising the city, so of course you wanted to kill the son of a bitch. But the only problem was that he only showed his face once a fortnight at a club downtown. The club looked like your average sort of club from the outside but in reality it was invite only. Not only that but the invites were for men who had girlfriends and partners that would come along only in their underwear (or less) and then, “I don’t even want to think about what sort of stuff happens in that club at night.”

Keep reading

Special Agent Dale Cooper’s Daily Routine

  • 5am- rise
  • 5:07am- coffee
  • 5:15am- meditate
  • 5:30am- exercise, shower, consume “shower coffee”
  • 5:55am - eats powdered donut
  • 6:05am- meets Albert for breakfast. Consumes 3 coffees, 1 orange juice, 8 pancakes, 6 slices of charred bacon, 3 pieces of ham, 2 eggs over hard, all smothered in maple syrup.
  • 6:55am- pays bill and gets coffee for the road.
  • 7:15am- arrives at Twin Peaks Sheriffs Station, immediately consumes 4 jelly donuts and 3 coffees.
  • 12pm- Lunch at the RR Diner.  Turkey sandwich on whole grain bread, fries, endless cup of coffee, 2 slices of cherry pie, 1 slice of huckleberry pie, 3 scoops vanilla ice cream, 2 chocolate milk shakes.
  • 12:50- Driving to crime scene, eats a “road donut.”
  • 12:55- tastes cocaine found at crime scene.  Washes it down with some coffee. Tastes baby laxative just to make sure the cocaine is cocaine.
  • 1:00-2:00pm- Uses bathroom for full hour.
  • 2:05pm- coffee, old-fashioned donut.
  • 2:35pm- meeting at The Roadhouse.  Eats peanuts, drinks 1 Black Yukon Sucker Punch.  
  • 3:00- Coffee
  • 3:05- Donut
  • 3:10- Coffee
  • 3:12- Donut
  • 5:30- Dinner back at RR Diner.  Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, 2 whole cherry pies with vanilla ice cream ordered one slice at a time.  Coffee.
  • 6:30pm- chews 7 sticks of gum.
  • 6:45pm- Donut
  • 7:00pm- After dinner beer and peanuts at The Roadhouse.
  • 8:15pm- Relaxes in lounge of The Great Northern with 2 coffees and 4 glasses of milk.
  • 9:00 pm- In bed with “nightstand pie” and glass of warm milk.
  • 10:07pm- Wakes up and runs to bathroom.  Doesn’t come out for a full hour.
  • 11:15pm- Back to bed.  Insane levels of sugar and caffeine intake cause vivid hallucinations of dancing dwarves and clue giving giants.
  • 1:00am- Wakes up from caffeinated sugar psychosis to call Sheriff Truman saying he’s solved the crime.
  • 1:05am- Falls asleep, forgets he solved the crime.
Dean’s Plaid

Summary: You and Dean do NOT get along. Until the night that you do.

Warning: smut, anger sex

Word Count: 3200

A/N: Hope y’all enjoy some Dean smut! XOXO

There are two things in the world you really hate: plaid and Dean Winchester.

There are plenty of things that you don’t like, that irritate and annoy you, that you’d rather not deal with. But those are the only two things you actively hate. A store with a window display of plaid clothing is enough to get your blood boiling these days. And Dean? Well, you make sure you never think of Dean. That just tailspins your world into a mess of violent anger for days before it wears off.

So the fact that you are currently wearing one of Dean Winchester’s plaid shirts, listening to him hum along with the radio as he drives you to his motel?

Yeah. You’re gonna need something to kill.

Or you could just kill Dean.

Keep reading

Sixpenceee Glitch in the Matrix

I had a glitch in the matrix once, sort of I think. So when I was a kid we lived right by this giant, incredibly expensive, creepy af hotel called The Mansion. Now me and my friends would go down to the park and play in front of this place, and since it was closer than our houses and open to the public most of the time we’d go inside any opportunity to go to the bathrooms. They were fancy and we had fun pretending we were rich. So one day my mom and I were in there, coming out of the bathroom. A woman we’d never seen before appears, beautiful, tall, dark. It was easy to assume she worked there due to her clothing. She sees us, dressed in my dirtiest play-outside-clothes and says, “would you like to see our million dollar chandelier?” So my mom and I look at each other like obviously, we’d never explored the place. So this woman turns around and starts walking without another word to a room I didn’t know existed before, her heels the loudest thing in the building, echoing against the arched ceilings and marble statues. When she stops she shows us the chandelier, which was pretty ugly imo but whatever we were like, cool. Then, after a split second we turn around to ask her something and the woman was gone. These rooms are huge, it takes a full minute to even reach a door to get to the next room, which we can see into through the giant doorways. and her shoes were so loud we would have heard them. So we’re freaked and get the hell out, running past the scary statues to the outside door. I grew up near there and neither I, my mom, or anyone else I know has ever seen her since.

Keep It Down (Smut)

MASTERLIST

Request: Aaliyah has friends over, but Shawn is needy. 

Word count: 1,301 (kinda short, so let’s call it a blurb)

Shawn grabbed roughly around your waist, after slamming the bathroom door, making sure to lock it behind you.

In a quick move, he picked you up from the floor and you wrapped your legs around his hips. He banged your back against the wall, leaving behind a loud noise, as he roughly smashed his craving lips into yours.

Keep reading

The View (m)

Summary: When a supposed bath for one leads to something a little more fun.
Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Genre: Smut
Warnings: PWP, exhibition kink, dirty talk, teasing, oral sex
Rating: M
Word Count: 4218

Originally posted by dream-bts


The tub is full, water sloshing over the sides any time either of you move an inch however, neither of you give a second glance at the liquid building up on the tiled floor. You both are too preoccupied with each other.

Keep reading

His || Jungkook || 0.19

Member: Jungkook x Reader

Type: Angst, Fluff, Smut.

Teaser | 0.1 | 0.2 | 0.3 | 0.4 | 0.5 | 0.6 | 0.7 | 0.8 | 0.9 | 0.10 | 0.11 | 0.12 | 0.13 | 0.14 | 0.15 | 0.16 | 0.17 | 0.18 | 0.19 |

Keep reading

Hey Jude

A/N: This is my really late submission for @percussiongirl2017 ‘s birthday challenge! Hopefully it was worth the wait. I had the prompt, “You can’t tell me how to live my life. You’re not my mother.” & my song is “Hey Jude” – The Beatles. The pairing is Dean x Sister!Reader however there is some Sam in there as well. The reader is the oldest sibling.

Dean x Sister!Reader   Sam x Sister!Reader

“Take care of Sam and Dean.”

That was your motto. You were eight years old when your mother died in the fire that turned your life upside down. You could remember the heat, the fear you felt, and how you had never gripped Dean’s hand or held onto Sammy so tightly then you did that night when you brought them out of the burning house.

Ever since then your father gave you one task, to take care of Sam and Dean. It wasn’t something that was foreign to you; it was something that you had loved helping your mother do. She had always lovingly referred to you as the mini mama because you enjoyed it so much.

So that’s what you did.

Keep reading

The Real Deal

by Andy Weir

“I tell ya, it’s the real deal!” Ray said. “The real deal!”

“Oh yeah?” Bobby replied. “Tell me more.”

“She’s the most amazing woman I’ve ever met!” He snatched his cigarettes from the coffee table. “I mean, we’ve only had one date, but wow! I never met a chick I could really talk to before, ya know?”

Keep reading

10

Heavily inspired (or completely ripped off?) by an apartment I saw on @apartmenttherapy. This is a wip but probably will never come out of the wip department. I had intended to do a bathroom and work-space but you know me… or maybe you don’t, hi my name is Blue and I never finish things.

I started off with a totally different space (I wanted to do something more like an industrial loft) and then had to do some recolors and fell down the Pinterest rabbit-hole looking for some fabric inspo which had me stumble across this gem of a space… yeah this is all unnecessary rambling, I’m in that kind of mood right now.

NEway something relevant. CC probably (because I think with Tray importer even if had something on the lot at one point but deleted it it stills shows up in the list of Custom Content so sorry if I tg you and your stuff isn’t actually here) by: 

TSR or Other Site: Darasims + Simcredible + Mutske + ShinoKCR + Sweetmint + Khany + BuffSumm + NynaeveDesign + NumbersWoman + simman + Joy6 + Mony Sims

Tumblr: @chisimi || @peacemaker-ic || @daer0n || @dreamteamsims || @lina-cherie || @loree-sims4 || @anbs || @ mxims || @brazenlotus || @dominationkid || @sanoysims || @veranka-s4cc || @javabeandreams || @simsza || @13pumpkin31 || @baufive || @onyxsims || @jools-simming || @mrmonty96 || @sympxls || @martinessimblr || @minc7878 || @theplumbobarchitect || @saudade-sims4 || @mio-sims || @jennisims

Alison is faking her pregnancy.

This is something I’ve gone into at length in my episode recaps, but I wanted to condense some of it into one single post dealing just with this topic.

We’ve known of Ali’s pregnancy for six episodes now, and we have yet to see one bit of proof that she is actually carrying a baby, let alone one conceived from Emily’s eggs.

In 7x10, she announces that she took a pregnancy test, and yet we don’t see it. She’s not holding it when she comes out of the bathroom, she doesn’t show it to Emily, Kind of strange, considering you’d think a normal reaction would be to insist it’s not true and demand to know if Emily could see the two lines on the test as well.

Then Emily arranges to take her to the doctor, to get the pregnancy confirmed. But Ali informs her that she’s already gone without her - and she is indeed pregnant. Why did she suddenly change her mind? Why didn’t she want Emily at the appointment with her? Perhaps because there was no doctor’s appointment, no pregnancy confirmation…and no pregnancy.

Finally, we’ve seen no actual evidence of the baby being Emily’s. Sure, they went to get blood tests together, but I highly doubt the doctor would have felt the need to ensure that Ali really is pregnant beforehand (after all, what kind of person would make this up?). We don’t hear what the doctor has to say about the results. We don’t even actually see the results themselves. Once again, all we get is Ali’s own words, that she got the blood test results and that Emily is the mother.

Three separate instances where the writers easily could have provided some kind of proof, whether through doctor’s words or through a physical piece of evidence, that Ali is pregnant…and they keep choosing not to. Why is that?

Maybe because she’s not actually pregnant. And if she’s not carrying a baby, she’s not going to have one to deliver in nine months, either.

But then why didn’t she just fake having the abortion? That would be the perfect way for her to end the pregnancy without anyone being any wiser.

If there’s one thing Ali loves, it’s being the victim. We’ve seen it time and time again since she returned, back in high school. She loves making herself look helpless, and she loves being coddled and protected by her friends, especially Emily. Getting an abortion would be the opposite of being victimized - it’s taking control of her own life and making a conscious, strong decision.

And that’s not good enough.

There was something very sketchy about that fall in the school. She supposedly got pushed down by someone she conveniently couldn’t see well enough to identify. And yet we didn’t see it happen, didn’t see a shadow pass along the wall or even hear footsteps running away. All we heard was Ali let out a scream and then her sitting at the bottom of the stairs.

There is absolutely no way anyone pushed her. Mona was all the way at the other side of the hallway, the person Emily heard and ran toward. And why would A.D. even be there? The whole point of that set-up was to distract the girls so Aria could sneak in to Ali’s house and destroy the nursery. There’s no reason why they would be sneaking around the school.

So why fake it? Maybe because falling, especially down the stairs, is an easy way to trigger a miscarriage. And what would be sadder than that? Ali finally gives in and decides to have the baby, to start a family with Emily, and then A.D.’s antics force her to miscarry. Once again, she’s the total victim, the one that needs to be comforted and babied by the others, just as she likes it.

I will not be surprised at all if Ali ends up “miscarrying” within the next few episodes. You can’t exactly give birth if there’s no baby, after all.