come out of the bathroom

tekayf-blog  asked:

PI Cassian and Jyn arrive at a seedy motel to rest and get out of the rain. Cassian goes to check the perimeter and Jyn decided to take a shower because she is cold and wet. As Jyn comes out of the bathroom wearing only a towel she finds Cassian taking off his wet clothes, to dry off...

The Private Investigator AU now has its own section on AO3


Jyn shivered as the cool air met her damp skin, and her soaked pyjamas landed on the bathroom floor with a wet slap. The shower sputtered and struggled before it finally settled into a steady stream. The rain that had fallen as she and Cassian had approached the motel had been unlike any she had seen in this part of the world - the type of desert rain that the locals would talk about for years to come. Cassian had insisted on ditching the car a few miles down the road rather than parking up at the motel, which she supposed made sense if they were being followed. The clerk behind the counter hadn’t looked up at them from his television which blared something in Spanish, a shotgun resting across his knee.

This was not a four star hotel.

Jyn set her gun on the counter and pulled back the shower curtain. It was little more than a tray, as there wasn’t space for a tub, and from the decor and grime she assumed this bathroom was older than her. She stepped under the hot spray and let the contrast against her cool skin shock her into focus.

My father is alive.

He works for one of the most powerful and potentially evil corporations in the world.

His employers want me dead.

The private investigator I hired to find my father saved me from hitmen and we’re both on the run.

My father…

Jyn stuck her face directly in the spray as if to remove the man from her thoughts. Looking for Galen had been a mistake, and now not only was her life at risk, but so was Cassian’s, a man she had known only for a week.

The Ersos are cursed.

Her heart jumped into her throat as she heard the door to the motel room open and close. She scrambled, tangling with the mouldy shower curtain and nearly losing her footing as her hand landed on the 9mm on the counter.

“Jyn?” Cassian’s voice - so new and yet so welcome - called out. He had been out scouting the perimeter of the motel.  “You ok?”

She sighed, and pushed away from the counter and kneeled under the spray with her head in her hands. Exhaustion hit her like a tidal wave as the last spike of adrenaline faded. “Yeah. I’ll be out in a minute.”

Her pyjamas were a lost cause and it would take hours to dry them on the pathetic blow heater in the bedroom. She dried off and wrapped herself in a towel of dubious cleanliness and nearly lost her grip on it when she opened the bathroom door and saw Cassian at the end of the double bed.

Water dripped from his messy hair down his neck, catching in the dark hair that spread across his bare chest before narrowing into a strip that ran all the way down to the line of his underwear, visible where his belt and fly hung open. He was digging in the backpack he had pulled from the trunk of the car when they left it. Jyn’s throat closed over and her brain stuttered as the sensible part of her mind suggested that she might want to look at his face instead of at his body.

He looked up from his bag to her, and his mouth dropped open briefly and there was heat in his gaze when their eyes met. Jyn bit down the urge to cover every inch of his skin with her mouth and grip hard at his slender hips. Priorities, Jyn. Safety first, sex later.

Cassian pulled a balled up grey t-shirt from the bag and offered it out to her. “I always keep some spares and emergency stuff in the car.”

Jyn blinked back to the present and reached for the offering. Their hands touched briefly and she blamed hormones and adrenaline for the shiver that sparkled all the way down to her belly. Her cheeks flushed hot as if she were still under the shower. His dark eyes dipped down to the towel and back up again and his face flushed slightly. Oh, she thought, it isn’t just me.

Cassian shook his head and broke the spell, and picked up the backpack. “I think we’re safe, for now. You should get some sleep.”


Exhausted, Jyn dozed as the shower ran, and was too tired to take no for an answer when Cassian came out and tried to sleep on the floor instead. I want you near me, she couldn’t quite say out loud.

The springs in the bed creaked as he settled in next to her, on his side, only a foot between them in the small double. Outside the rain continued to hammer against the windows.

“I’m sorry you were dragged into my family’s mess.” Jyn whispered into the darkness. Her heart pounded when his hand reached out and touched hers, and gave a gentle squeeze before his thumb started to run back and forth across her knuckles.

“It’s not your fault, Jyn. I pushed a little harder than I should have once I got a hint of who we were dealing with.” He sighed heavily. “Palpatine’s Empire, it did some awful things to where I grew up in Mexico. The good people keep getting poorer and the bad people get richer. Cartels, slavery, arms dealing - everywhere you look, something leads back to him. Back home, I kept seeing these connections, but no one above me in the force would listen to me.”

“You were a cop?”

“Yeah. I started getting warnings, and so did my family, my colleagues… and I didn’t listen, not in time. My father paid the price.”

Jyn felt her heart break with the weight of guilt. This good man had tried to escape his ghosts, and she had opened the door for them to come back. Sorry seemed too small and insignificant a word. Jyn shifted closer to him, wrapped her arms around his torso and buried her face in his neck. He stiffened and held his breath, before melting into her. His arms around her felt like safety, foreign for someone who had kept others so far away for so long. It didn’t feel like a weakness, either.

Jyn closed her eyes tight and breathed in his clean scent as his nose brushed against the top of her head. She chased away the thoughts of tomorrow and focused on his heartbeat. It would have been so easy to lift her lips to his and kiss him and distract themselves with pleasure, and she considered it as his hands ran up and down her spine. She imagined his touch drifting lower, under and up beneath the t-shirt she wore, and she gripped him a little tighter.

But then Cassian placed the sweetest of kisses on her forehead, and whispered to her to get some sleep, and she realised that she didn’t want them to taint something beautiful with fear.

We could have something beautiful, she thought as she drifted off with his touch soothing her, if we live.

Venomous Theory

I know a lot of people assume Venomous and Shadowy Figure are the same person but maybe….that’s what they WANT us to think. They want us to think that the two are the same guy. In fact, they’ll probably do an episode where the heroes think that as well and try to unmask Shadowy Figure (believing that he’s Venomous in disguise) and when they finally corner him someone like K.O. would say something like: “We know you REALLY are, PROFESSOR VENOMOUS!” but then Venomous comes out of somewhere like the bathroom behind them and says “Someone call my name?” Which of course would prove that they’re not the same person and thus cause a hilariously epic shocked face from each of the heroes.

i genuinely don’t think i have the motivation to finish this but here it is i guess

also don’t reupload this unless u want to get ur balls cut off

The first time he sees you in lingerie - Male Avengers Headcanon

This wasn’t requested but idc, @scarlettsoldier and I were talking about plus size models lmao

Originally posted by little--batman

Bucky: 

He’d be so taken aback, but in the good way. He’d look you up and down, drinking you in. He’d bite his lip as he would make his way over to you, absolutely lost in the scraps of lace and bare skin, then he’d look into your eyes before mumbling that you’re so beautiful, before kissing you so passionately with his fingers tangled in your hair. “You’re gonna kill me, darlin’” 

Originally posted by ohevansmycaptain

Steve:

Steve would be so flustered, having never seen a woman in lingerie in the flesh. He would be rooted to to the spot once he walked into your shared bedroom. His facial expression would make you nervous, “Steve…Do- Do you like it?” “Oh G-God yes I do, doll, you look marvelous” It would be you that’d have to make the first move, you would take his large hands in yours and place them on your silk covered hips. He felt like a virgin again, but Jesus H. Christ, he was going to try and not ruin those skimpy piece of fabric the moment he got a hold on himself.

Originally posted by littlemisssyreid

Sam:

You’d be looking in the vanity mirror in your bedroom, catching a glance of the handsome man at the door in the reflection before smirking at him. You’d bought the undergarments as his birthday present. You blushed as his slender fingers made their way along your shoulders to move your hair out of the way. He would press kisses to your neck and mumble “happy birthday to me” whilst smiling as his hands wandered…

Originally posted by rad-aar

Tony: 

You’d walk into his lab wearing a black trench coat over the top, of course. His head didn’t turn until he heard your voice say “FRIDAY, lock the doors please.” He’d cock a brow up at your dolled up form, his eyes would travel down your legs and then his brows would raise when he saw them bare, his jaw would fall slack but would quickly pick back with a sly smirk. As you would unbutton the trench coat, letting it slide to the floor (whilst keeping eye contact and also biting your lip) you’d hear the words “Oh, my beautiful baby girl, come to daddy…”

Originally posted by theplacewheredreamsgo

Thor:

You had definitely remembered to pack your black corset number in your bag before Thor took you to Asgard for the first time. You wanted this trip to be memorable as possible. When he first sees you in it, you’re both in his bedchamber, you’re coming out of the en suite bathroom and his mighty facade drops completely and he chokes on his mead, he’s completely awestruck, for he had never seen such undergarments, ever. He would gently pull you between his open legs, trailing his large hands across the rigid bones of the black corset, to the silk panties below, all the way down to the lace tops of your stockings. “Do you like it, my love?” “I love it, My Queen.”

Originally posted by luvn-loki

Loki: (slightly AU)

Loki had been down the past couple of weeks, trying to adjust to being an avenger and the people around him. You wanted to cheer him up with something new, you knew behind his hard facade there was a troubled man. So you rummaged through your drawers and found the one thing you needed, the unused white lace panties and bra. You hastily slipped them on before throwing a t-shirt and shorts on over the top, before calling Loki through FRIDAY. As he opened the door to your room, he would give you a small smile before laying down next to you. “I have a present for you, darling” you would say, “and what would that be, my love?” “me, now I want you to take me out of my packaging” As he would peel your shirt up, his eyes would widen at the unusual underwear you were wearing, his hands would come to cup your breasts but at the same time, admire the fine lacework, he would let out a soft groan as he saw your panties..

Originally posted by justawkwardgirl

Bruce:

Oh god, the GIF says it all. He’d be quietly reading in his room, when you’d just saunter in casually in your pyjamas. You both usually slept in underwear, or naked *wink wink*, so as you padded towards the bed, you began to remove your clothing, as Bruce caught a glimpse of purple from beneath his lashes, he looked at you like so, and put his book down. He would murmur ‘oh god, oh god, oh god’ under his breath as you crawled your way towards him, straddling him. You would grab his hands and place them just below your breasts where the purple lace finished, urging him into touching you. His touches would be delicate and curious at first, “You like it, Bruce?” “Uh- Uh yes, baby it’s beautiful, but not as much as you” he would proceed to grasp your hip tighter as his other hand brought your chest down flush onto his, he would moan heavily into your kiss at the feeling of the lace scratching against his skin

Originally posted by arlothia

Clint:

As soon as he would see you, his mouth would go completely dry, and if you were in a cartoon his eyes would pop out of his head. He’d mumble, “Oh fuck, YES!”  before making grabby hands at you, begging you to come and sit on his lap (I mean seriously, look at them thighs!) He’d become bold and immediately kiss your breasts over the velvet fabric as his hands would ping the elastic of your stockings. He’d tell you how sexy you’d look on top of him in such attire whilst his hand would come to softly grasp your throat…

Originally posted by son-of-a-blake

Pietro:

You would be getting ready for a party- you didn’t intend for him to see you in your lacy undergarments until after the party! It was supposed to be a surprise! But as Pietro would come through your door he would make said face, giving you a once over, (ogling at your behind, obviously) whilst having a devilish grin on his face whilst saying “Ah, princezná, all for me?” making you whip around in shock. 

Alex refuses to take Kara to any human bars because every time they go out Kara will go to the bathroom and never come back, and when Alex goes to investigate she’ll find Kara sitting on the counter surrounded by drunk girls and they’re all just complimenting and validating the shit out of each other and basically every drunk girl that Kara meets immediately clings to her like velcro and its just one big validation fest and honestly it becomes a fire hazard with all those girls in there

Your Spouse goes into the bathroom only to come running out 15 seconds later. Clutching you close they tell you they fell into another dimension and what felt like seconds to you was a 1,000 years to them. They now want you to follow them back because they have built a life for you there.

Some more Twin Things™ in honour of our favourite genetic identicals

-being pissed when people don’t make an effort to tell you apart
when the new freshman backliner is stuck cleaning the court after practise: hey Andrew, can you pass me the bucket of balls?
Aaron: it’s Aaron
Freshman: same difference
Aaron: *maintains eye contact while reaching out with his foot, knocking over the bucket so that balls scatter across the court* 

-being annoyed when people can’t tell them apart (”we’re not the same fucking person”) but also weirdly annoyed if they can (”you guys don’t actually look that alike!” “yeah cool what makes you think that your opinion is relevant???”) 

-hoarding extras so that your twin can have a share of the good stuff
Andrew: *takes the last two beers from the fridge, ignoring Kevin’s protests*
Kevin: why are you taking both, you know that’s my favourite brand-
Aaron: *comes out of bathroom*
Andrew: “hey, catch loser” *throws beer at Aaron*
Aaron: *swears and fumbles catch*

-’So who is the evil twin?’ questions.
Allison: *laughs*

-Matt and Nicky are watching Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows when the scene where Fred dies comes on. Aaron steals the remote and changes the channel bc honestly fuck that shit

-holding grudges for each other, even when the other twin has forgotten about it
“Andrew why do you keep targeting that dealer.” “He tripped you with his stick.” “No he di- Andrew that happened last year

-using each other as a comparison for all their weird health problems.
“urg, i feel sick.” “yeah that happens whenever I drink milk.”
“that sign over there is blurry right?” “…uh no?” “What? no, everything in the distance is out of focus.” “No it isn’t?!” “Fuck.”
(Nicky: oh my god you’ve been driving us around for three years)

-both twins secretly wanting to dress up as the twins from the Shining for Halloween

-using ‘We’ a lot
Andrew eats tuna, proceeds to break out in hives. “Dumbass, we’re allergic to tuna.” “oh we are, are we? since fucking when?”

-even when they don’t have any evidence for it
“nah we hate maths.” “actually calculus is alright.” “…who even ARE you”

-being more insulted when their twin is insulted than when they are
Aaron’s classmate in med school: your twin is, like, a pro footballer or something right?
Aaron: sure
Classmate: haha guess you got all the brains between you, huh?
Aaron: *not sure why he’s so offended, but offended all the same*

-speaking of med classes, Aaron definitely gets that little jolt of excitement whenever a lecturer mentions twins or twin studies. quietly like ‘hey, that’s me, i have one of those’ it’s a thing

-definitely have dealt with creepy dudes at Eden’s Twilight who just have to mention the Twin Thing. Andrew punched one in the kidneys. Aaron thinks he should’ve used a knife.

-the Five Second Fight phenomenon 
Aaron: *says something rude or aggressive at practise*
Andrew: *says something cruel*
silence. they stare at each other for a few seconds. Andrew slowly reaches out and flicks Aaron on the forehead. Aaron rolls his eyes and gives Andrew his Gatorade. It’s red flavour. Andrew’s favourite. They are both appeased. Everyone else is too scared to comment.

-they don’t have twin ~ESP~ or anything, because it mostly comes from years of over-exposure. they’re still working on that classic Twin Bond. 
*both of them studying at 2am”
Aaron: i freakin’ hate anatomy, why do i need to know that the hyoid bone provides attachment for the larynx-
Andrew: that bone is often fractured in victims of strangulation
Aaron: what
Andrew: in dead bodies. if the hyoid bone is fractured, often they’ve been strangled. Neil told me.
Aaron: 
Aaron: …neat
(shhh they’re bonding)

-anyway TWINSIES 

Period Struggles Compilation For No Particular Reason

giant blood diaper

the bathroom stinks to hell for a week

sneezing

coughing

laughing

yet somehow crying my eyes out doesn’t cause debilitating pain

speaking of - CRAMPS

ALL OF THE CRAMPS

SERIOUSLY IT FEELS LIKE THAT METAL HEAD-THINGY THAT GIRL WORE IN THE FIRST SAW MOVIE IS AROUND MY HIPS

googling ways to relieve cramps and seeing pictures of women all folded up like human pretzels like what human being can actually do that with a pad on wtf

saying “fuck” every three minutes 

it’s 3 in the morning and I’m standing here in my underwear washing blood out of my pajamas literally fuck everything 

wtf these aren’t my usual pads what’s this bullshit why do these even exist

then when I get my period in a hotel and they give me cheap, crappy pads with no goddamn wings what the fuck kind of customer service is this

*drops something* *tries to pick it up without bending over*

*in the shower* is that dust or blood clots

oh hey look there’s blood on the floor again

*wakes up in a panic* IS THERE BLOOD ON MY SHEETS

oh good there’s nothing

*wakes up again two minutes later* BUT IS THERE BL—

*lies awake in bed all night convinced I’ve got a leak*

*one time, just one time, has a peaceful night’s sleep* *wakes up with a leak*

that weird feeling like you’re being stabbed in the vagina by tiny people with tiny swords

that other weird feeling like a zombie bit you inside your uterus and now it’s slowly rotting from the inside out

no I’m not exaggerating that’s exactly what it feels like

crying for no reason

did i mention giant blood diaper

because it’s literally a giant blood diaper

maxi pads. fucking maxi pads. 

hey if i jump out that window will i die 

lying in bed, curled into a tight ball, praying for the sweet embrace of death

pink painkillers 

all of the hot water bottles 

but let’s be real that shit doesn’t work 

neither do the painkillers tbh 

so then I come home and collapse onto my bed and suddenly my dog is there sniffing my butt like seriously as if this wasn’t embarrassing enough already

“alright class today we’ll warm up by running around the field” *screams* 

every time you sit out during the swimming unit in pe and the pe teachers side-eye you the whole time

plus all the girl’s periods synch up so like half the class is sitting on the bleachers dying on the inside and the pe teachers think it’s all a big conspiracy 

“you know they have invented solutions for this exact problem”

^no lie, my science teacher told us this last month. everyone just stared at him in silence until he changed the topic. 

can I get a sick note for my period?

when you have to change in the middle of class and you try to discreetly take your bag with you and everyone looks up

“hey can you check if there’s blood on my pants” 

“if you hate pads so much why don’t you try a tampon” oh yes sure let me just shove a tiny cotton stick up my vagina that sounds pleasant

when you complain about your period to the squad and suddenly half of the boys have disappeared off the face of the earth 

*displays slightest hint of irritation after being provoked for a prolonged period of time*  “geez someone’s on their period”

“looks like someone bought the wrong tampon brand lol”

no

no don’t make jokes about that

that shit is the worst

To quote iiSuperwomanii: “My shedding uterus has standards.” 

trying to open your pad as quietly as possible but you know the other girls in the school bathroom can hear

then you come out of the stall and make eye contact in the mirror and tHeY KnOw

AND HOW THE FUCK

DOES MY PERIOD SOMEHOW ALWAYS KNOW

WHEN TO COME AT THE EXACT MOST INCONVENIENT TIME?? 

oh it’s your birthday? here’s a fun present!

oh it’s christmas? guess who’s not going sledding 

oh you’re being sent on a six-hour hike on your school trip in a mountain with no bathrooms? this seems like a good time for satan’s waterfall 

oh you were looking forward to a nice, relaxed half-term break? lol bitch not anymore

*cries internally*

*cries externally*

*cries eternally*


I hope this has been educational 

Come Here Little Girl

Word count: 2,366

Warning: SMUT, daddy kink, rough sex, slight bondage

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Summary/Request: Thank you @thedevilsbestie for your request!

On a hunt, Y/N is surprised to find out in such circumstances, a kink that she has – as is Dean. They try it out when they get back to the motel room.

“I am not doing that. No way!” You shouted through the motel room.
“Come on Y/N this is where he’s going to be and it’s probably our only chance to kill him.” Dean argued. “I have to go too.”
You snorted, “You get to wear clothes though, you don’t have to go in your fucking underwear!”
You had been on this case for the past two weeks trying to find the vampire that was terrorising the city, so of course you wanted to kill the son of a bitch. But the only problem was that he only showed his face once a fortnight at a club downtown. The club looked like your average sort of club from the outside but in reality it was invite only. Not only that but the invites were for men who had girlfriends and partners that would come along only in their underwear (or less) and then, “I don’t even want to think about what sort of stuff happens in that club at night.”

Keep reading

A love of ice and thunder

Pairing: Loki x Thor x Reader.

Warnings: Smut and LOTS of it; a bit of drama too. There’s a lot of everything going on here so you might pick your blanket because this is also long af.

Summary: When Jane leaves Thor, in your heart you know he should stay with you, but as time goes by, his brother realizes that there is more to it.

A/N: I need Jesus, and when you finish reading this, you’re gonna need him too. My characters know they need Jesus, so that should tell you something. Feedback? It won’t hurt!


You poured some shampoo on your hand and gently started to massage your scalp with it. “So,” you started feeling the soft foam form in your hair, “I got a call from your brother yesterday,” you let the warm water run down your soapy self as you awaited for your boyfriend’s answer.

“Really? Thor knows how to make a phone call?” Loki snickered from the toilet seat. “Well, that is quite the surprise,” he shook his head.

“The thing is that he broke up with Jane just a few days ago and even though it wasn’t a lot, she’s given him some time to move out,” you casually said trying to elicit some kind of reaction from his uninterested being. “He’s really bummed, y’know?”

“I bet,” Loki pondered, “I’d be utterly destroyed if you dumped my ass,” he conceded, “but why are we talking about him anyway?”

“Well, I’ve been doing some thinking about it and… I wanted to ask you if he could stay here for a while,” you stuck your head from the end of the curtain and looked at him innocently. “I kinda owe him that…” you bit your bottom lip.

“How so?” He ran his fingers through his ebony hair.

“When SHIELD first sent me to the States I ended my renting contract with my landlord and I moved there, and when the agency died after the whole Winter Soldier thing I realized I had no home to go back to; Jane was still there and when your brother came to earth he stayed with her, so he asked Jane if I could live with them until I got my own place…” you sheepishly said as you rinsed the shampoo from your head. “I stayed there with them for like 4 months, so maybe he could stay here for that same time too, if you don’t mind,” you broke it down. “Can you pass me the towel, please?” You reached out your arm and he handed the soft cloth.

“What about our life?” He asked in a concerned voice. “I mean let’s face it, love; we are not the quietest ones and Thor isn’t either; he snores like a chainsaw,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, but we’ll have to be a bit more quiet and just… hold on?” You drew back the curtain and got out with Loki’s help. “Let me return him the favor, it’ll be for just a little, okay?” You looked at him with puppy eyes, it always worked with him. “Can we?”

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” he shook his head and unmade the towel, making it fall onto the humid tiles. “I might consider it,” he effortlessly lifted you in his arms, making you wrap your legs around his waist, “but only if you bribe me,” he mischievously smiled and headed for the room.

And just a few days after that, Thor was setting up this few belongings in the spare room of your apartment. He was really embarrassed for having to ask you that. He knew he was invading your privacy and your couple life with Loki, but he really didn’t have much choice or friends in the United Kingdom.

“It’s okay, big guy,” you placed a hand on his shoulder when he sat on the bed in defeat. “I know it hurts and all, but… you’ll be fine eventually, give it some time and you’ll see how things turn alright,” you shrugged lightly, “besides you’re living with us now, we’re gonna have fun!” You smiled widely and wrapped your arms around his shoulders. He rested his head on your chest and wrapped his arms around your waist. “Now come, and we’ll ask for something to eat for dinner,” you said.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

matt and sam holt invited shiro to go golfing with them once before the kerberos mission can you please describe what happened its for Science™

Matt, Commander Holt, and Shiro go golfing to Bond™ before the Kerberos Mission, oh my god. This is the stuff of dreams.

  • Shiro has never gone golfing once in his life. He was shocked to learn that Arnold Palmer was a real person.
  • Shiro: Hey so do I wear, like, the outfit?
    Matt: What?
    Shiro: You know, the outfit. With the little hat and the white pants that are kinda like capris?
    Matt: ………
    Matt: Yes. You have to wear the outfit. It’s essential to the golfing experience.
  • All three of them wear the Golf Outfits. Commander Holt and Shiro don’t get why Matt is taking so many selfies.
    • Commander Holt is wearing a pea green argyle vest. 
  • They all pile into the golf cart. Shiro insists on driving because he’s the pilot for the mission.
    • Matt and Commander Holt decide their ride doesn’t go fast enough and they make Shiro pull over behind some random shack so they can do semi-illegal modifications to it. They make Shiro stand guard while they prop open the hood.
  • Matt falls into the lake.
  • He does this three times.
  • (TBF, one of those times happened because Shiro chased after him in the golf cart and Matt was scared for his life.)
  • Commander Holt is Ridiculously Strong and keeps whopping his golf balls directly into the sun. And then he can’t find them, so he makes Matt go into the lake to fish up some spares.
    • Commander Holt: Well boys, it appears that I’ve lost my balls :/
    • Shiro: (to Matt) Can he legally say that to us??
  • All three of them are constantly doing the golf clap. Shiro comes out of the bathroom and the Holts are there waiting for him, politely cheering him on.
  • Commander Holt is like. Blatantly cheating. But Matt and Shiro don’t know enough about golf to call him out on it.
    • Commander Holt: Okay, so, because I accidentally hit that bird, that counts as a birdie!
    • Matt: What? That has got to be fake.
    • Commander Holt: Oh yeah? Why else would it be called a birdie, Matt?
    • Shiro: That doesn’t sound right, but I don’t know enough about golf to dispute it.
  • Shiro keeps trying to run Matt over with the New And Improved golf cart and Matt flips out and tries to fend it off with his golf clubs. They break. The golf cart remains unyielding.
    • Shiro: WITNESS ME

Okay but imagine.

Yixing leaves the car and goes to their dorms. He opens the door, changes his shoes, his slippers are waiting for him, not hidden in a shoe cabinet. His bag forgotten in a hall.

He goes to the living room, where members are waiting for him.

Everybody is silent, watching TV. They see him when he sits on the couch in between Baek and Sehun.

Kyungsoo smiles at him, leaving to the kitchen. He made his favourite dish, just needs to reheat it. Chanyeol goes with him, making tea for them.

Chen goes to the hall, gets Yixing’s bag and takes it to his room, so he wouldn’t have to do it.

Suho hears him in his room. He opens the door and asks “Is he there?” Chen smiles and nods.

Baekhyun curls up on the couch, hugging Yixing’s arm closer. Sehun lays his head on his shoulder. Next to him Jongin reaches his neck, massaging Yixing with his hand. He knows how horrible is the ache when you sleep in a plane.

Minseok comes out of bathroom. He sees them and sits down in front of the couch, his back pressed back to Yixing’s legs, head lays on his knees. He looks at him smiling.

He smiles back, his eyes tired, a bit sad, but also sparkling with joy.

Chen comes back with Suho. The leader strokes black hair, leaves his hand, massages his scalp delicately.

“Welcome home” he says quietly.

Zhang Yixing feels calm, relaxed.

Zhang Yixing feels loved.

Inspired by this absolutely angsty masterpiece by @jackalopes-vld

This is really angsty and references intrusive thoughts, so please keep yourself safe.

WC: 1574


Annoying.

He’s not annoying. People like being around him. He’s not annoying.

Good for nothing.

He’s their sharpshooter. He has a purpose.

Worthless.

He’s worth something.

Seventh wheel.

He’s… He is the seventh wheel. There isn’t a doubt about that.

Can’t handle the stress.

He can’t. It gnaws at him every waking moment.

Can’t deal with criticism.

Fuck. It hurts, okay? Not everyone is graceful with that shit.

Useless weight brought along out of pity.

Stop.

Nothing.

Stop!

Just fucking leave.

Please. Please, just stop. Please.

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shh || t.h

Relationship: Tom Holland x reader

Summary: there is barely a plot its just goes from fluffy to sexy times.

Warnings: S M U T (18+)

Word Count: 1.2k

A/N: this fucker has been harassing me for far too long i had to write him


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Our Little Secret-Part Five

Summary: You and Dean figure out how to tell Sam. Later the two of you try something that Dean hasn’t really done

SERIES MASTERLIST

Characters: Dean, Sam, Reader

Pairings: Dean x Reader

Square Filled/Kink: Face Fucking for @spnkinkbingo

Word Count: 4300

Warnings: Smut, fingering, oral, rough sex, squirting, language

A/N: I’m sorry. I was going to wait until tomorrow afternoon to post this, but I couldn’t help myself. Thank you so much for reading. I absolutely love writing this series and sharing it with you. Any feedback is always appreciated.



“You want to tell Sam?” He’s got that crease on his forehead, “I thought you didn’t want him to know.”

You smile, stretching your neck, kissing right below his ear, “But you do.”

“You’re okay with it?” He’s confused, “You’re sure?”

“Yeah,” you nod, “I’m sure.”

You’re not sure, not at all, but you kinda need to take the chance.

Dean pulls you up, pressing his lips against yours, kissing you deeply before breaking away.

You giggle, “I guess it will be easier too, we won’t have to come up with excuses for getting a different room.”

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Special Agent Dale Cooper’s Daily Routine

  • 5am- rise
  • 5:07am- coffee
  • 5:15am- meditate
  • 5:30am- exercise, shower, consume “shower coffee”
  • 5:55am - eats powdered donut
  • 6:05am- meets Albert for breakfast. Consumes 3 coffees, 1 orange juice, 8 pancakes, 6 slices of charred bacon, 3 pieces of ham, 2 eggs over hard, all smothered in maple syrup.
  • 6:55am- pays bill and gets coffee for the road.
  • 7:15am- arrives at Twin Peaks Sheriffs Station, immediately consumes 4 jelly donuts and 3 coffees.
  • 12pm- Lunch at the RR Diner.  Turkey sandwich on whole grain bread, fries, endless cup of coffee, 2 slices of cherry pie, 1 slice of huckleberry pie, 3 scoops vanilla ice cream, 2 chocolate milk shakes.
  • 12:50- Driving to crime scene, eats a “road donut.”
  • 12:55- tastes cocaine found at crime scene.  Washes it down with some coffee. Tastes baby laxative just to make sure the cocaine is cocaine.
  • 1:00-2:00pm- Uses bathroom for full hour.
  • 2:05pm- coffee, old-fashioned donut.
  • 2:35pm- meeting at The Roadhouse.  Eats peanuts, drinks 1 Black Yukon Sucker Punch.  
  • 3:00- Coffee
  • 3:05- Donut
  • 3:10- Coffee
  • 3:12- Donut
  • 5:30- Dinner back at RR Diner.  Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, 2 whole cherry pies with vanilla ice cream ordered one slice at a time.  Coffee.
  • 6:30pm- chews 7 sticks of gum.
  • 6:45pm- Donut
  • 7:00pm- After dinner beer and peanuts at The Roadhouse.
  • 8:15pm- Relaxes in lounge of The Great Northern with 2 coffees and 4 glasses of milk.
  • 9:00 pm- In bed with “nightstand pie” and glass of warm milk.
  • 10:07pm- Wakes up and runs to bathroom.  Doesn’t come out for a full hour.
  • 11:15pm- Back to bed.  Insane levels of sugar and caffeine intake cause vivid hallucinations of dancing dwarves and clue giving giants.
  • 1:00am- Wakes up from caffeinated sugar psychosis to call Sheriff Truman saying he’s solved the crime.
  • 1:05am- Falls asleep, forgets he solved the crime.
nefarious ❖ chanyeol

anon requested: Heyo could I request some step brother chanyeol smut where they don’t get along and are constantly teasing each other (in a sexy way?). One day chanyeol is going through the girls Phone and finds her daddy kink bdsm Tumblr and decides to punish her ;) in turn some kinky sex with spanking and bondage. (Lol sorry this is so detailed chanyeol has been fucking me up lately)


(gif not mine, credits to the owner)

7456 words | smut, daddy kink, stepbrother-stepsister relationship, light bondage (choking, thigh riding, spanking), don’t like=don’t read | velvet

✎ Nefarious: wicked, villanous, despicable or simply Park Chanyeol.


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