come on you yanks


Derek x Reader

Requested By @dontyouwishyouhadlove

You smiled at the little gift Derek had sent, it was a picture of the two of you, a few Hale siblings and cousins were squished in as well, you could never remember all their names. It was just like Derek to add to your hoard of photos, in fact you wondered if he sent you the pictures so they’d survive, he was forever bending or accidentally washing photos and bits of paper so it wouldn’t surprise you.

When you pulled up in the drive your front door swung open and your brother launched himself down the porch so he could yank open the door.

“I’ve missed you so much!” Scott sighed and you chuckled as you ruffled his hair.

“You saw me at gradation.” You chuckled and he rolled his eyes.

“Yeah and then we’ve had to wait for months so you could finish up there and come back home.” You groaned as he yanked you out of the car and into the house.

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Halloween Slumber Party - Daddy’s Little Lovebug

Word Count: 1825

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: None

Daddy’s Little Lovebug Masterlist

“Mommy, come on!” JoJo grabbed your hand, yanking you to her room. “It’s almost time and we need to get my costume on!”

“Ok, love bug ok!” You laughed, following her down the hall. Dean started to follow to help you and JoJo turned around, shoving herself between Dean and you.

“No!” She yelled, shoving Dean backwards. He could’ve easily overpowered her but he didn’t. “You can’t see it’s a surprise!”

“I can’t see your costume?” Dean pouted, looking down at her. “Why?”

“She just told you it’s a surprise.” You defended your daughter, picking her up off the ground and resting her on your hip, pursing your lips at Dean. “So that means it’s a surprise. It’s just that simple. You’ll see it when she’s all ready to go!”

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Not in Public

Summary: Based on the prompt from this post.

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Word count: 391

Warnings: kind of subtly written *mumbles the rest* adult activities

A/N: I can’t believe I wrote this *hides face in shame*

Originally posted by james---buchanan---barnes

“Can’t wait any longer,” Bucky hums in your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. His eyes dart from your lips to your eyes, and back before you lean forward and kiss him.

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One day late, but here’s a short birthday fic for the marvelous @misspaperjoker, who requested “anything with both Bucky(!) and Steve being artists and making life make sense” - hope this is close enough! Have some modern-day AU with married artist boys.  <3333


Bucky finally looks up after about twenty minutes. His hair’s coming loose and he’s sweaty and he’s got a mostly-healed burn on one arm, the one that can burn, anyway. He’s beautiful—Steve Rogers has always thought so, when they were young and when Bucky left to join the Army and when he’d thought he’d lost Bucky forever, another missing-in-action name lost to war; and then, oh, and then, finding Bucky again at a black-tie star-studded up-and-coming artist showcase…

Bucky says, grinning, “You admiring the view, Stevie?”

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Reaction to You Freaked by a Spider in Bed - BTS


Seokjin: *unimpressed*

“Babe, are you serious. You woke me up.”

Originally posted by go2bedjungkook

Yoongi: *you jump ten feet into the air while his face is buried into your chest*

“Really sweetheart? Last time I initiate the sex..”

Originally posted by yoongijae


“What the fuck do you mean you saw a fucking spider? Fuck that.”

*runs out of the room screaming without you before coming back and throwing you over his shoulder. Runs back out with you and you both sleep on the couch*

Originally posted by spearjimint


“A spider? Really?”

Originally posted by bwiyomi

Jimin: *has to bring Tae into the room bc he’s too scared*

“He’ll kill it baby, it’s okay.”

Originally posted by ellewhyen

Taehyung: *flushes it down the toilet without an issue*

“It’s gone now baby, come back to bed?”

Originally posted by jeonjam

Jungkook: *squishes it with his hand and yanks you back onto the bed*

“Go back to sleep please.”

Originally posted by hobilu

Heathers 101: Candy Store

Are we gonna have a problem?
Did zombies eat your brain?
You’ve come so far,
Why now are you yanking on my chain?
I’d normally slap your face off,
In front of the whole damn school.
But I’m feeling nice.
Here’s some advice.
Listen up, fool!

I like!

Lookin’ hot
Buying stuff they cannot

I like!

Spendin’ hard
Maxin’ Dad’s credit card

I like!

Skippin’ gym
Dissing her
Kissing him

I like!

Killer clothes

Kickin’ nerds in the nose!

If you lack the juice
Go play duck duck goose
Let your mommy fix you ice cream


Or come hang with me
And tonight we’ll be
Dirty Dancin’ with the football team!

Woah! Woah! Woah!
Honey, whatchu waitin’ for?
Welcome to my candy store
It’s time for you to prove
You’re not a loser anymore
Then step into my candy store

Guys fall

At your feet
Pay the check

Help you cheat

All you

Have to do

Say goodbye to Shamoo

That freak’s

Not your friend
I can tell in the end

If she

Had your shot

She would leave you to rot

‘Course if you don’t care
Fine! Go braid her hair
Maybe Sesame Street is on


Or forget the creep

And get in my jeep

Let’s go tear up someone’s lawn

Woah! Woah! Woah!
Honey, whatchu waitin’ for?
Welcome to my candy store
You just gotta prove
You’re not a doorknob anymore
Then step into my candy store

You can join the team

Or you can bitch and moan

You can live the dream

Or you can die alone

You can fly with eagles

Or if you prefer

Keep on testing me

And end up like her!

Veronica, look!
Ram invited me to his homecoming party.
This proves he’s been thinking about me.

Color me stoked.

I’m so happy!


Honey, whachu waiting fo—

H. CHANDLER:                    H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
Step into my candy store!     Time for you to prove
Oooh woah! Woah oh oh!    You’re not a door stop anymore 

Then step into my candy store

It’s my candy store
It’s my candy
It’s my candy store
It’s my candy
It’s my candy store


It was times like this that made you wish you had better friends. Or at least some that didn’t have these weird competitions that put you in the middle. “Why do I have to kiss the two of you? Go find Lydia, or Allison, just leave me out of it.” You said with a groan. 

“Come on (y/n), you’re the only one here. We need someone to judge.” Stiles pleaded as he grabbed a hold of your arm. “No.” You said as you yanked your arm out of his grip. “Come on, you know you wanna kiss us.” Stuart said appearing on your other side. “Leave me alone.” You whined, you weren’t in the mood to deal with them today, but you didn’t want to go home either. You got up off the couch and tried to walk up the stairs but the boys stood shoulder to shoulder blocking your exit. 

“Not until you kiss us.” Stiles said. “I don’t wanna.” You said putting your head in your hands. “Why can’t the two of you just kiss one another?” You asked. “Because he’d say I suck and I’d say he sucks.” Stuart explained. You looked up at your friend in disbelief. “And the fact that the two of you are siblings has nothing to do with it?” You asked with a raised eyebrow. The two glanced at one another–the realization that it was incest hitting them. “Well see now you have to kiss us.” Stiles said. “Fine!” You shouted just wanting to get them to shut up. You grabbed Stiles by the front of his shirt and pulled him close to you. 

Stiles was stunned for a moment but quickly caught on to what you were doing. His hands moved to your neck and he pulled you closer to him. His lips were surprisingly soft but he was a very submissive kisser, you were the one in control. You moved your hands and cupped his face almost mimicking what he was doing to you. “Wow.” He whispered as you broke apart, you let out a small chuckle. 

Then suddenly before you could even respond Stuart had you pressed up against the wall, his lips captured yours. Apparently looks and sarcasm were the only thing the boys had in common. Stuart’s lips were rough and he was the dominate kisser–clearly. His hands moved down to your waist and you found yourself way more into the kiss than you’d anticipated. 

Your hands roamed up his chest and locked on to the back of his neck eagerly trying to get him closer to you. He responded by lifting you up and on to the hall table.  His hands kept roaming–going further and further south–he left them rest at your butt and pulled you closer to him. 

The front door opened and shut and you quickly pushed Stuart away from you. “Sheriff–Pops, Stilinski, Sir.” You said nervously as you wiped your lips. “Hey dad.” Stuart said from where he’d landed on the couch. 

The sheriff looked between the three of you. “I don’t even wanna know.” He said before he walked past the three of you and continued to his room. You didn’t have to look in a mirror to know you were blushing feverishly. 

“So, who’s the better kisser?” Stuart asked with a smirk, you smacked him upside the head. “I’m not even going to answer that. I have places to be, and I don’t have time for this.” You said before you walked out the front door. Apparently it was too late because you’d realized that your keys and bag were still in the house. ‘I don;t need them.” You told yourself. ‘I can walk home.’ Whatever happened next, you were not going back in that house–at least not today.

Requested by Anon


That smile is both adorable and dangerous. He’d laughed when you pushed him into the pool jokingly, but the moment he popped up looking like this, you really should have run. Instead, one quick hand yanks you in with him and you come up spluttering, clothes drenched. But he holds you against him in his strong arms to make sure you can’t swim away to escape, still snickering and treading water. He makes sure you’ve caught your breath before he kisses you in his childish glee at dragging you in with him. “ Don’t think you’re going to win against me. I never play fair.” He laughs against as he starts tickling your sides so that you quail in laughter and clutch onto him.

- Admin J

hoodlum pt. II || hanbin
  • and here is the second part! lol I’m feeling iffy about the ending so I’ll write up a third part if you guys want i’m so bad at endings gahhh
  • pt. I right here!!
  • pt. III here!

Originally posted by teambgasm

           It’s odd, really, because in your eighteen years of life, you had never heard your mother scream as loud as she did right there when she opened the door. And when you broke away from Hanbin and stared at her, you could’ve sworn she was about to faint. Her face was pale, her hand was over her heart, and had her eyes gone any wider, they might’ve actually fallen out.

           “Get away from my daughter!” she shrieked at Hanbin before grabbing your arm and yanking you behind her. “You come anywhere near this house or my daughter ever again and I swear I will call the police!”

           Hanbin scratched the back of his head and didn’t seem to be affected in the slightest by what was happening, and it occurred to you that this must’ve been the umpteenth time he was yelled at and talked down upon by someone in a higher class like that. In fact, you could clearly remember that on some nights, a hood would just be strolling through the streets and people would put in the effort to step outside their doors and yell at the poor kid, saying how “trash like that shouldn’t walk down these streets”.

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Peaceful. A Matt Brown story.

Matt never walked anywhere slow. He moved fast and talked fast and never seemed to sit still for very long. Unless he was asleep. He ran full tilt from the time he woke up to the time he crashed, which could be anytime during the day. At a certain point, his body would simply begin to drag him down. He would wind up sleeping anywhere he could find a place to lay down, whether it was really comfortable for him or not.

Over the last few days, more than once you answered a knock on your front door only to find Matt barely holding himself upright on your front porch. You would throw an arm around his waist and drag him, talking and laughing into your bedroom and depositing him gently on your bed.

You hadn’t been dating long, so things between you were still careful.
“I don’t want you to think I’m only coming here to go to bed with you.” He said as he yanked off his boots and peeled off his jacket, crawling under the light covers on your bed.
“Of course not, Matt. Why would I want to have sex with you?” You joked and didn’t worry about his answer. He was already half asleep.
“Riiiiight…” He mumbled as his head hit the pillow. “It’s so much quieter here than at home.”
“Uh, huh.” You smiled and bent down to retrieve his brown jacket from off the floor and draped it across the chair.

Matt’s snores were soft and regular within seconds. You hadn’t hesitated for a minute when he asked you for a date two weeks before. The day you had been having should have made you say no to anything anyone asked. That day, too many grumpy moms and unhappy kids had tromped sullenly through the kids section of the library where you worked. The smell of tiredness and bubblegum made your stomach clench and made you wish you had a job outdoors. At least there the air was fresh and the only complaining would come from the crickets as you disturbed them in the tall grasses. Then Matt Brown walked through the door.

He shoved his sunglasses on top of his head in a futile attempt to tame his unruly curls. Curls that you immediately wanted to sink your fingers into and bury your face into.
“Hi! How can I help you?” You called out, for once eager to help a library patron with anything they might need.
“Hi! I’m Matt.” He answered back just as brightly and stuck out his hand for you to shake. “Looking to use a computer for a few minutes.”

You never believed in love at first sight. And the feeling you were having looking into his blue eyes was far from being love. The sensation you felt was much further down from your heart and not nearly as pure as love. Even Matt’s hands were sexy. Your brain tried to force your eyes to stay on his and for the most part, you succeeded. That was until he smiled and your mind was no longer in control and your eyes traveled quickly up and down his body.

And now that beautiful man was lying in your bed, relaxed and comfortable and peaceful. When he was awake, the two of you talked so much that you were often so tired afterward that you slept for hours. And when he awoke, his hands would reach out for you. His touch would start the fire that could only be quenched by him moving over you, his body heavy on yours. Slowly at first, then quickly building to a climax that left you both happy and breathless and ready for more sleep.

Matt’s mind was always a blur of thoughts and ideas and creations. His heart was so open to people that it frightened you a little. He trusted people unconditionally until they gave him a reason not to. You hoped never to give him a reason to stop trusting you. Your own heart had been so wounded so many times that you weren’t as trusting as he was. But you were learning. Matt was showing you how.

“Sorry I sleep so much when we’re together.” Matt’s words were slurred and you jerked your head over to him where he lay watching you.
“I thought you were asleep.” Your smile came quickly whenever Matt smiled at you.
“I was. But I don’t want to sleep without you tonight.” He reached his hand out for you.

Smiling shyly, because Matt always made you feel like a young girl, you slipped under the covers and pressed your back to him. His arms slid around your waist and he buried his nose in your neck, his breath warm on your skin.
Slower and slower, his breathing was steady and his heartbeat against your back calmed as he relaxed against you. It gave you more joy than you would ever tell him knowing how peacefully he slept in your bed.

“When we wake up, will you let me make love to you?” He said groggily. He was almost asleep and you could have stayed silent. But you didn’t.

“Yes. I’ll let you make love to me. And if you don’t mind,“ You reached back and ran a hand along his thigh. “I’d like to make love to you, too.” You spoke, smiling without turning around.

“I’ll wake you.” Matt whispered as he slid down into a deep sleep, his body hot and tight against you.
“You won’t have to.” You breathed as you closed your eyes.


Redacted Tonight with Lee Camp [#94]

“The nation’s most trusted name in news is literally covering how someone’s ponytail obscured a T.V., on a plane. That’s what CNN’s official twitter account was posting, at the same time there were a thousand people outside their front door.

First of all, if someone puts their ponytail in front of your T.V., don’t you just yank the ponytail? That problem comes with its own emergency cord, to fix the problem. Don’t you just stick your gum in the ponytail? There’s a lot of easy answers is what I’m saying. Secondly, if that ponytail was blocking CNN on the T.V., you weren’t missing anything. They were literally reporting on how someone created a bedroom in a shark tank. I don’t know what to do with that information! I don’t… How do I use this meaningless shit that is oozing out of your network?” - Lee Camp [April 8, 2016]

Puppy Love (Avengers)

“Hey, have you seen my arrows?” Clint asked as he walked into the room. “You lost them again?” Nat said. “No, I just can’t find them.” He said. “I’m telling you, give me a few minutes with them and-”

“No.” Clint said. “Fine. I’ll be in the lab.” He said and walked out with a cup of coffee in his hands. “Y/N, can you help me look for them?” He asked her. “I’ve actually got to help Cap with som-”

“It’s fine. I’ll ask Sam.” Steve said. “Okay. Sure, I’d love to walk around the entire tower in search of your arrows.” You said sarcastically. “Great, come on.” Clint said and yanked you off your chair.


“Face it, Clint. They’re probably gone or in the garbage.” You told him. “Probably, but a lot of stuff has gone missing. Some of Cap’s caps.” Clint said then giggled.

“Some of Sam’s books are gone and Thor has missing slippers.” He finished off. “If we had J.A.R.V.I.S we could probably find the quicker.” You said.

“Why don’t we just as Vision? He’s sort of J.A.R.V.I.S.” Clint said. “ He’s on a mission with Wanda.” You told him. “Those two have been spending a lot of time together.” He said.

“I think they’d be kinda cute together.” You said. “It’s a robot, Y/N.” He said. “An android with vibranium skin and a mine of his own.” You corrected him. “Whatever. We’ll keep searching tomorrow. Night.” He said as you walked into your room.

“Night, Barton.” You said and closed the door. A puppy then came running happily towards you. “Hey, Halo. We’re you a good girl?” You asked as you bent down and scratched her stomach.

You then saw Clint’s arrows under your bed, “No you haven’t.” You said as you grabbed them from under your bed and saw that Halo chewed on them. “Bad girl.” You told her and she whimpered.

“What else did you steal?” You asked her and Halo ran towards your closet. She walked into the small crack, then you opened it fully.

You then saw Steve’s baseball caps, Thor’s slippers and Sam’s torn up book and Thor’s chewed on slippers. “They are going to kill me.” You said.

“Thor is gonna summon lightening and that’s how I’ll die.” You told Halo and she looked up to you with her tongue sticking out.

“This is your fault.” You pointed at her. “If you weren’t so damn cute, I wouldn’t have taken you.” And Halo rubbed her head against you.

“I’ll have to tell them about you tomorrow.” You told her and she frowned. “Get some sleep.” You said and went to turn off the lights.


“What was so important you needed to wake us up at 10 in the morning?” Clint yawned. “I need you to promise not to be mad.” You told them. “Why would we be mad?” Steve asked.

“Just promise me. Especially you, Thor.” You pointed at him. “I promise.” He said and the rest followed. “Okay, so a few weeks ago I found this adorable puppy at the park.” You began.

“And she was just laying on the bench, and it was raining so I took her to the tower an-”

“You brought a dog in the tower?” Tony asked loudly. “You promised you wouldn’t get mad.” You told him. “I’m not mad, I’m just asking you loudly.” He responded.

“Halo!” You said and a little German Shepherd came running into the room and sat down next to you. “It’s still here?” Tony asked. “Well, I wasn’t going to leave her in the streets.” You said.

“There’s a thing called an animal shelter.” Clint said. “We bonded, okay?” You said. “Wait, is she the one that’s been stealing all our stuff?” Steve asked.

“Yeah, and I’ll pay for everything.” You promised. “I still don’t think it’s a good idea to keep her here.” Tony said. “I think it’s a great idea.” Sam said.

“So do I.” Steve said. “As do I.” Thor smiled. “Nat? Clint?” Tony asked. “She’s real cute.” Nat smiled. “Whatever. As long as I get my arrows back.” Clint said.

“Like I said, I’ll pay for everything.” You told him.

Teaser For Part 2 Of, Your First Taste Of Love Is Always Bittersweet(Joker X Reader)

[ Well, I started on the sequel, and thought I’d give you a preview of what’s to come]

You creep down the hall, paying close attention to your surroundings, like a gazelle trying to sneak past a sleeping lion. Except you have no idea where your lion is.

As you tiptoe past the bathroom, you stop for a moment, stretching your neck out, to get a better view of the living room. No sign of Mister J. The couch is unoccupied, and the kitchen appears to be void of any life.

‘Hmm. Where the fuck is he?’ You think to yourself, feeling confused and a little worried.

That question is answered pretty quickly when a hand comes down around your mouth and you’re quickly yanked into the dark bathroom - his forearm pressed tightly against your upper stomach, holding you still.

You try to speak but your words are completely muffled by Joker’s iron grip around your mouth.

“Ssh.” He whispers in your ear - his hot breath against your flesh, already making you relax slightly. “You’ve been teasing me for two days. Now it’s time to pay the piper.”

You’re dressed pretty skimpy - a tight white tank top and a pair of short, blue plaid, women’s boxers, so you can feel his body heat so well, having your entire backside pressed so firmly against him. He’s shirtless. You can feel his warm bare flesh against your shoulders and upper back. You can even feel the definition in his sculpted chest and abs, through the thin material of your top.

Joker breathes in deep - his nose pressed up against your neck, taking in your soft natural scent.

“I can smell your cunt.” He growls - his voice low and gravelly as usual - his words long and drawn out.

He’s probably not lying. You’re already slightly wet, from Joker’s manhandling.

“Let’s see if I’m right. Hmm?”

The hand on your stomach moves down, slipping into the front of your boxers. It comes over your now throbbing mound, and his index finger slides between your pussy lips, from your clit to your opening, settling in the juices gathered there, eliciting a muffled moan from your covered mouth.

“That’s what I thought.” Joker purrs, dragging his hand up your outer pussy as it retreats out of your shorts. “You want more, Y/N? I need the green light in order to continue, my dear.”

You nod your head and give a muffled “yes.” You’re scared to death, but dying to see what’s next.

“Gooood.” He nods his head.

Joker turns toward the bathroom sink and pushes the front of your legs up against the counter, bending you over it slightly, still not releasing his hand from your mouth.

Rp starter for @dirtydiabolikloversscenarios nswf is soon to follow~ heheh hope Yuma will make ya feel better~ ;)

You were casually walking back from school while talking to one of your male friends about today’s assignment. Though your conversation was soon interrupted by a strong voice. “Oi Sow! What are you doing?! Come here!” It was Yuma of course. He roughly yanked you by your wrist, pulling you behind a school and throwing you against the wall. His hands slammed next to your head as he started down at you, and he didn’t give two fucks about the other students who were staring at you. “I hope you have a good reason why you’ve been ignoring me!” He growled leaning closer to you.
(Sorry no pic… My sis is on the computer doing something for school ugh… Dx)