come on now womb



The Daily Mail’s “incomparable”* Richard Littlejohn has written a book about his life**, which is being serialised in the paper. I’ve been sharing bits and pieces*** over on the Pointless Letters twitter page and thought it might be nice to come and share the magic**** here on Tumblr, too.

WONDER as Littlejohn asks what his dad would make of the world today! (my theory is he would look crestfallen and say “Oh Richard, son, I love you, but why do all these people hate you? What did you do, son?”)

THRILL as Richard reveals that he wrote the book because in a way, in a very important way, we are all Richard Littlejohn!

SHUDDER as the story of his birth gives way to a terrifying vision of the future!

LOOK A LITTLE SICK AND UNCOMFORTABLE as he passes comment on modern marriage and decides to use the opportunity to have a bit of a sneer at the idea of young women owning adult toys for their own pleasure!

Honestly, from what has been serialised so far, it’s like Alan Partridge has found a way to kick down the fourth wall and escape into the real world. I wonder if Littlejohn ever eats Toblerone?







* A word that can go two ways when you stop to think about it

** TL;DR - everything is shit now, there’s all these uppity foreigns and women and gays and everything, it was so much better back in the 50s when there were no uppity foreigns or women or gays or anything

*** Taking the piss

**** Take the piss

36 weeks!

hey there baby! Well I am the worst at keeping this up every week, and here we are (at full term!!) and it’s been weeeeks since I’ve taken/posted a belly photo!

you’re practically done growing in the womb and now can come out anytime, little buddy! preparing for you has been the sweetest and craziest time. we had our first baby shower a few weeks ago and got some very helpful gifts, along with a lot of cute gifts, along with a lot of good advice and encouragement! we also just bought our first big haul of diapers from Costco (it’s weird how excited we got about it) and installed your car seat (that thing is MASSIVE, kid) and packed the hospital bag!!!! so basically it’s all gettin real now.

you have grown sooo much, you basically live on my spine now (NOT comfortable, at all FYI) and kick my right side all the time. you still love your daddy’s voice and can tell when he touches my belly. you also love all things sweet, STILL, and love to keep me up at night with your sweet little wiggles and kicks.

both your daddy and I can not wait for your arrival—we talk about it every single day! we wonder what you will look like and what kind of personality you will have and if you will be super fussy or not and what color your eyes are gonna be and what sorta hair you will have! we have so many wonderful things in this world to show you and can’t even wait to start. you are so so loved and the anticipation is killlllling. soon soon soon. but for now, we will wait! and make the most of allll the moments your daddy and I have together before you come! And pray everyday for your heart and your health and your life. (I also pray that you come earlier than my due date and that I am calm and strong and not afraid during labor …..ha. It’s pretty terrifying!)

we love you so so much forest. you are the greatest human already, we can’t wait to snuggle ya!

love, your mama bear

remember in like 2009 when liking vampire weekend made you REALLY hip and unique and people got scared just 2 be around u and ur ridiculous indie cred and like nowadays fukkin babies come out of the womb doing air guitar to Diane Young

anonymous asked:

Hey I'm a christian but I totally fully support abortion. It's the mother's choice. But since God is omniscient, doesn't he already know if the mother will have an abortion or not?

Who is man that they should decide life or death? Christians must believe that God gives life because it is written in Genesis 2:7 (“Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being”). He breathes life into us, and bam, we are living.

I believe that people who support abortion don’t view the growing baby as a legit baby. They change the wording/ term from “baby” to “fetus”, claiming the baby is not really a baby, simply because the baby in the womb is not “born” yet.

when do you decide that a baby is alive? Is it when the egg implants to the mother’s uterus? Is it when the baby is physically out of the mother’s womb? Who gets to decide life or death? God or human beings?

Yes, God is omniscient. He is the only omniscient One. But just because He is omniscient and all powerful DOES NOT make him stop us from sinning, or doing something we will regret, because we are HUMAN. It was in His design to let us have free will.

God knew Adam and Eve would eat the forbidden fruit. God knew Cain would kill Abel. God knew the people He created loved the life of sin (Genesis 6:5-6). But He didn’t stop them, nor will He stop us. We DECIDE what we do, because we will be responsible for our sins when we are on judged by God and Christ (2 Corinthians 5:10).

I will end my thoughts with this. we live for God. If we say abortion is the mother’s decision, then we are literally saying that murder is okay. So if a mother has the right to kill her baby, then I guess it is okay for a mother to kill her 3-year old son? What is the difference? One baby is in the womb growing while the other baby is outside of the womb growing? Come on now. Committing abortion means committing death.

ABORTION IS INTENTIONALLY KILLING A BABY, GOD’S CREATION, OR IN OTHER WORDS, GOD’S CHILD. We are supporting the right for a person to kill His child. Why? Why? Seriously… why?

God is the creator of all things… then what makes us have the right to kill His baby while he/she is growing in the womb? For it says, “What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground.” The blood of innocent babies reach out to Him.

Again, I say this because there may be women who have already gone through abortion that will be reading this… 1 John 1:8-10 says, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.“

I am not better than you. We are ALL sinful. But to receive forgiveness, we need to acknowledge our wrongdoings and ask God to redeem us because the blood of Christ is enough. We just need to confess and find healing in Him alone.

God bless,

Reminders of His love


Object[s] +

Paranoiacs in the witnessed crowds of tazed racials,
coloring and embraces, satisfyingly fettered in convos,
imagining ciphers of futures, smilling in lowly plaids—
Fornications in the eyes of crosshair-edly numb ideas,
freezing blahs and proclaimingly frozen laughters fur photos,
dangling through halls in empty rhetorics fur toiles,
spewed at by echoes and solos and merry claps
for mere blacknesses of boxed ink inducing tempts:
If done, turn through exits with heavier wallets;

Object[s] ++

Watchful plus brainwashed, pools of sweats masqueraded,
camouflaged and ignoring in ecstasy, sutured and threaded
by governing thinkers’ generalities of ignorances—
Wonderful soundtracks man and nice themes too,
composed facials dude and steaming souls indeed,
gulped slavers spilling ‘round to fed stomachs of y’all,
pushing, popping spitted pills, hanging, swallowing em’ all:
Crackling voices from masochists on stonewalls, chickened,
accepting brains and qualified, envisioned and reviewed;

Object[s] +++

Shots on the top roofs, clacks and clacks of teeths
digesting cloned minds’ escapades into wondrous shocks,
mind not, keep the carelessness, bloody eyes like our hands—
Stern stares of ambiguities, ‘voiding fiscals of indignities,
fading glares of secrecies, inner screamings of coolies,
praised walking filths filling visible spacings
insulting severe lines of yuppie ants subterraneously,
obeying talk show hosts’ cocksure dances of mouths:
Thinking bettered, acting uniquely, easily unpleased;

Object[s] ++++

Closures patternized, copied pasted, screenshots marketed,
slogans and banderoles in singers’ lyrics, idolized and shined,
idolized and evolved, new styles of unoriginal juggernauts—
Smash it, burn it, lick it, lead ways, lead days, say vows,
kill the poverty, stretch pigskins for the facades, slash em’
grant unisex weddings and seize em’ taxes, fake headlines,
blind the computers, buy lingual recognitions and steal faces,
confiscate records and erase comedies, lay more tragedies:
Let it work, make it hard, have pirouettes on electric wires;

Object[s] +++++

They are a bit of bitter asphyxias, can you not breathe it, androids?
Can’t ya escape, O so grounded and erased you are, dear levitators?
Born on Earth, sprouting from humanities’ wombs, how come?
The wounded are now raising glasses to successful banners,
speaking in tongues in thoroughfares, harmonized, uselessly,
caskets and societal bats, crosshairs in eyes like rabid sheeps—
Somewhere: Hibernated through fascinating diagrams,
intangible urges calmed down like dead flies, trying planning flying,
falling still for resurgences of more taped cynical mirages, satisfied;

- The Conquistador

ArtworkGovernment Bureau by George Tooker