come here baby

More Humans are Weird

Because this hash tag is SO FUN and thought-provoking. 

GENDER: 
No one can keep up with humans and gender. There are no easy signs to tell who is what, not clothing, not body morphology, not how they paint themselves or their grooming or vestigal hair. The humans themselves argue about how many genders there are. Eventually they quit trying and refer to all humans as ‘they’. Most humans are fine with that, even compliment them on their support (?) and progressive views (??). A few humans are offended, but are shouted down by their other humans. The other beings of the galaxy officially give up. 

SEX: 
Some humans want to have sex all the time. Others barely can stand to be touched at all, even casually. Some will have sex with their own gender, which does not produce offspring and is confusing to many. Some will have sex only with certain people, some will have sex with anyone. SOME will have sex with other species, occasionally challenging their own safety and everyone else’s. None of this is considered strange. Anyone saying it is strange is again shouted down and shamed into silence. The other beings of the galaxy officially give up. 

CATS: 
Humans adopt small predators as pets and kiss their “widdle faces” and giggle over their clawed toes (???) and fuss and are thrilled when the predators sleep with them (isn’t that UNSAFE? IT IS FULL OF POINTY BITS) and often sport scratches and bite marks inflicted when the animal was ‘playing’. 
“When were these ‘cats’ domesticated?”
“Oh, we never really domesticated them. We just let them move into the house with us. Aren’t they CUUUUUTE? Come here, baby.” -kissy noises-
The other beings of the galaxy again give up. 

RELIGION: 
Wars fought. Millions - probably billions, through history - killed. Crew members huffy with each other. Various holidays celebrated, none of which make sense, some of them celebrating events that are physically impossible and could not have happened. All for something that can’t be proved. 
The other beings of the galaxy would think this was all an elaborate prank if it wasn’t for the body count. 

GERMS: 
Humans get INFECTED and act as if it is a personal affront, and cuss about it. They confine themselves to quarters so they don’t infect the rest of the crew - very kind, in that respect - and otherwise wrap themselves in bedding and bitch about it for three days while doing their work by remote - “It’s fine, just a cold.” followed by horrifying noises they call ‘coughing’ and ‘sneezing’ -  and HOW. HOW DO THEY EVEN. 
The other beings of the galaxy, for whom infection is always life-threatening, boggle from a safe distance. With respirators on. 

ALPHA PREDATOR…? 
They come from a death planet, these naked apes with no armor, no fangs, no speed. They have the ability to conquer the galaxy, if they only agreed with each other long enough that it was their goal. Instead they poke their noses into other death worlds, ‘exploring’, they call it, adopting horrifying creatures and making friends with other predatory beings, brewing poisonous beverages from whatever they can scrounge, which they then drink for fun. The rest of the galaxy is relieved. If humans had an attention span, they would truly be in trouble. 

No one wants to know what a ‘shark’ is. Humans seem to be afraid of them, and if it frightens the humans, the rest of the galaxy is, to a being, terrified. 

2

@jaydickweek:  Talons/Court of Owls // Father Todd 

I know canon gives us formal and somber priest!Jason, but imagine snarky youth group minister Jason (a.k.a. my fave). No connection to Bruce or the afterlife, still the same snarky little shit he was as Robin. He’s a bit gruff because it wasn’t the joker that made him terrible at showing weakness, but he’s protective as hell. The kids fucking love him.

Well. 

Most kids. Most kids love him. 

And then there’s Damian. 

Little feral assassin Damian, fresh out of a disastrous first meeting with Daddy Bats, and he most definitely doesn’t love Jason. But Jason knows an abused kid who needs a way out when he sees one, even if that situation is way out of Jason’s league. 

Jason has just started making real progress when Talon shows up. Luckily, and to his very great surprise, Jason’s got Damian to protect him. Of course, then Damian gets attached. 

Fast forward, Damian rehabs Talon!Dick by taking the don’t-be-a-murderous-asshole lessons he learned from Jason 30 seconds prior and teaching them inexpertly to Talon. He gets confused and territorial when Youth Minister Jason and Talon start building their own connection, which may eventually go in a slightly unexpected direction.

a.k.a. makin’ out. ♥

Dealing with sassy littles!! 😇
  • Me: -rolls eyes-
  • Daddy: Baby, did you just roll your eyes?
  • Me: -sighs dramatically-
  • Daddy: Don't you be sassy with me.
  • Me: -mumbles under my breath-
  • Daddy: Princess. Don't give daddy attitude.
  • Me: -crosses arms grumpily-
  • Daddy: I think you need a hug.
  • Me: -nods angrily-
  • Daddy: Come here baby, let me make it better.
  • Me: -smiles a little and walks over shyly-
  • Daddy: -gasps- WAS THAT A SMILE!?
  • Me: -covers my face and pretends to be mad-
  • Daddy: Are you blushing!?
  • Me: -growls softly while smiling-
  • Daddy: Don't laugh baby girl you know it's my weakness.
  • Me: -starts to laugh and giggle-

Nomanita is the most beautiful wlw ship I have seen in years,

They’re the fucking epitome of ride or die.

Like what wouldn’t they do for eachother? Paint your toe nails? Come here baby I got you and blue looks lovely on you. Burn a hospital down after your bigoted mother tried to kidnap you? Someone hand me the lighter. Wear silly costumes that are over the top even when my taste is more simple? Always baby there’s nothing like how you smile when you have a project. Go on the run from the fucking government and accept your life as a dangerous hacker who has 7 other people living in her brain? This sound like a costume opportunity babe I’m thinking Nancy Drew but with leather.

3

perhaps one day for @thedisdainfullysilentvisitor

Lay With Me

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! A little smutty something for you guys. I didn’t put a specific character for this so I’m letting your imagination run wild with this smutty fic. Enjoy as always and happy reading!

Warnings: Smut (unsafe smut), swearing

Word Count: 1273

(gifs not mine, credits to the owners)

You laid on your stomach, scrolling on your phone as you waited for him to get home, wanting the feel of his skin against you, his lips, his embrace, everything. You sighed. You weren’t a fan really of him going home at late hours even though you don’t really sleep early as well but you wanted to just cuddle for a longer time until you fall asleep. You were starting to fall asleep but you fought it in hopes he might come home any time now. You looked over to your nightstand, the clock flashing 8:30 pm. You considered to take a few minutes of nap just because you were tired and your eyes felt too heavy for some reason.

Keep reading

His Pet-names For You|T.Holland

Baby cakes:

  • This would be one of his favorites
  • Calling you baby cakes when he wants your attention
  • You’d be reading a book and he’d be staring at you with a pout
  • “Baby cakes come snuggle in cold.”
  • So much whinnying
  • “Baby cakes won’t come give us attention Tessa..”
  • making the give me more hand motions as you walk by
  • Calling you baby cakes when he finally sees you after a long time
  • Finally giving in because he looks so cute and snuggly

Angel:

  • Would be reserved for when you were upset
  • He’d always call you an angel because angels don’t deserve to be upset
  • “Oh angel.”
  • Lots of forehead kisses and tight hugs
  • “Everything will be okay angel, I’m not leaving you.”
  • “Oh sweet angel of mine.”
  • Soft kisses to you lips as he softly whispered ‘my angel’ between kisses

DARLIN’:

  • Would be an everyday thing
  • He’d never call you by your actual name
  • “Darlin’ you ready?”
  • Always waking up to soft kisses and a ‘good morning DARLin’”
  • “Darlin’ have you seen my shoes”
  • Him loving how your cheeks would turn the loveliest shade of scarlet when he called you darlin’ in public
  • He’d simply calling you darlin’ because you were in deed his darlin’ and he loved you to pieces

FLOR:

  • Is what he called you when he wanted you to feel special
  • “You’re my FlOr..”
  • You looking at him confused making him have to explain
  • “Flor means flower in Portuguese and I wanted to call you something unique because you are so special.”
  • Secretly loving this pet name the most because it wasn’t used often so when he did call you Flor you’d be a stuttering mess
  • “Flor you ready to you.”
  • “Bloody hell Flor, you look breathe taken.”

Peaches:

  • This nickname came about after you got your wisdom tooth removed
  • Your cheeks were all swollen and his heart was swelling up at the sight of you
  • “Oh peaches!”
  • “Harrison, peaches needs me!”
  • Having to fly home to take care of peaches
  • This becoming your nickname for whenever you got sick
  • “My peaches is sick, I need to go tend to her every need.”

SuNShINE:

  • Would be your nickname when talking to others about you
  • “My sunshine is coming to see me!”
  • “Who the fuck is sunshine?!”
  • “It’s y/n..”
  •  Screaming out SuNShINE when he sees you walk on set
  •  Running up to you and spinning you around before pressing a soft kiss to your lips
  •  Screaming around saying that sunshine is here to see him
  • Explain to everyone why you’re his sunshine
  • “Simply my sky’s are always grey when she’s away cause she’s my sunshine.”

BAbyGIrl:

  • Would be reserved for bedroom actives
  • “Fuck Baby girl right there”
  • Knowing he wanted some sexy time when he would hum out “Baby girl come here..”
  • Calling you baby girl softly when out just wanting to get you alone
  • Whispering dirty things in your ear
  • Cause BAbyGIrl did things to him
  • BUT LIKE WHERE DO I GET MYSELF A TOM