come back jake
New Girl: Here's the Story Behind Schmidt's LOL First Name
The following story contains major spoilers about Tuesday’s New Girl. Proceed at your own peril. And we repeat — if you haven’t watched the episode, don’t read any further.
By Michael Ausiello

Baer: “ All indications are that it’s a very good possibility that we are coming back. I think what Jake was responding to was the fact that we were trying to… end of the season in a way that could satisfy audiences.”


Finkel: “We still feel like we have stories to tell. And given where the season finale ends, you can sort of see where we could pick up and where future stories can come from.”

That’s exactly what I’ve been saying all along. There are so many more stories to tell.

Peraltiago Headcanon #2

So the day that Amy has to start desk-duty only when she’s pregnant is the most dreaded day in the history of the 99. Everyone, and I mean everyone (even Hitchcock and Scully), have been fearing this day. So when Jake runs into the precinct 10 minutes early with a terrified look on his face none of them are surprised. They aren’t surprised at what he says next either:
“Listen up everyone! I don’t care what is going on, what drama is up in your life, because this woman will cut your head off. So don’t say anything to offend her because she will kill you. Also Charles please don’t eat lunch in the bullpen today because your food stinks for realz”
However, they are all surprised when 5 minutes later Jake comes back up with what seems like a perfectly normal (even more enthusiastic about work than usual) Amy Santiago. She just sits down at her desk and starts to work. Meanwhile Jake is staring holes into the top of her head to the point where he gets less work done than usual (but to be honest how much work did he do before?). It gets to the point where even Rosa has to pull her aside and have a semi-heartfelt talk. To which Amy’s response is “Rosa I’m fine. It’s just paperwork. I love paperwork”
This goes on for a week or so when suddenly everything crashes.
Amy now comes in trudging after her husband in his old NYPD academy sweatshirt holding a decaf coffee (something that scares the living crap out of Charles until Jake reassures him that “no Charles there is no caffeine in it. Yes I bought it. Yes I checked with the barista. Charles it won’t DONT TALK ABOUT MY WIFE’S PLACENTA CHARLES”). Amy now sits at her desk filling out paperwork with the speed of a tortoise. She no longer asks if she can fill out anyone else’s work for them. It gets to the point where she is volunteering for door duty (to which the answer is no. From both the captain and Jake “babe, there could be a murderer at one of the doors” “I’m pretty sure that there isn’t. It’s a senior retirement community”).
But when she has to finally take maternity leave is when the monster in her is finally unleashed. (She still comes to the precinct. Not as “Detective Santiago” but as “Jake’s wife only here to bring him lunch and totally not to work on a case, Terry do not unplug my computer!”)
She ends up going into labor at the precinct while Jake and Charles are on a stakeout. Jake of course freaks out when he sees the 30+ voicemails from Amy, Rosa, Terry, Gina, and Holt. Most of them being along the lines of
“hey babe so I think I’m in labor. Please get back here”
“Dude, your wife’s in labor.”
“Jake, your baby is being born! This is the best day of your life, where are you?”
“Jake so your wife is pushing out your fetus as we speak. Wait what no it’s just contractions. Get here soon. This is disgusting. Also someone stole all the gum in your desk and it totally wasn’t me. Bye boo”
“Jacob, it seems as though Santiago has gone into labor with your child. She would like to know where you are. Would you like me to help her or do I make her too uncomfortable?”
By the time Jake and Charles get back to the precinct Amy’s contractions are about 6 minutes apart and Charles is freaking out for the both of them. After they get to the hospital it takes about another 3 hours for the baby to be born
“I take back what I said, Sarge, THIS has to be the longest birth ever. And this prison doesn’t even have free wifi, ugh”
Everyone is in a nervous-yet-sluggish mood, that is until Jake comes running out the double doors leading to the maternity wing screaming “It’s a girl! I’ve got a daughter! I did it!”
Hugs and handshakes are passed all around. Even Gina cries a little the first time she sees the “either most awesome or most boring child in the world, there is no in between”.
Even Kevin visits “she doesn’t have your nose, Jacob, that is an accomplishment”.
The day ends with Amy and Jake snuggled up in her too-small hospital bed and their little girl sleeping peacefully beside them surrounded with flowers and gifts from her many aunts, uncles, and “Grandpas Ray and Kevin” (Holt totally doesn’t cry “it’s just allergies, Kevin, 30% of the population experiences it” (despite the fact that it’s winter))

anonymous asked:

...fluffy headcanons for dirk&jake?

imagine one day a bunch of salamanders and nakkodiles get curious about what’s inside the secret robot workshop tower their royalty lives in, so being simplistic creatures they’re like LETS FIND OUT :D and just roll in while Dirk & Jake are out one day and make a huge fucking mess

like dirk and jake come back and shit is everywhere, their kitchen is upended, the food that jane makes goddamn sure they keep stocked because left to their own devices they go feral is just scattered all over, piles of flour on the floor, eggs splattered on the walls, cookie crumbs lead a sinister trail higher up 

and they find the culprits just up in their literal private rooms, there is a group of nakkodiles roasting marshmallows with the welding torches and dirk runs in yelling like jesus christ this is not okay this is our private shit you shits are not nearly intelligent enough to be swinging a welding torch around this very precariously arranged workshop you are going to get everyone killed 

this group of salamanders walks in and they’re just dressed up head to toe in dirk and jake’s clothes, there are literally just dirk salamanders they have found spare pairs of shades 

dirk sucks in this breath to start yelling but jake just takes one look at this and BUSTS A FUCKING GUT and dirk chokes on his own tongue watching this because jake english laughing so hard he slumps down and starts crying is far more compelling than any other chaos in front of him at any given time

and it’s definitely chaos there is endless nakking and bubbles fill the room

Jake eventually crawls off the floor gasping for breath and pulls his phone out and is just like GET OVER HERE CHUM WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY GOT TO CATALOG THIS look at this one dirk holy shit this buddy likes your style!!! and he’s enthusiastically gesturing for Dirk to pose with this salamander dressed in all his clothes

and dirk just does it because jake is so excited and his cheeks are all flushed and he’s just so fucking happy and dirk’s heart is skipping every other beat watching this so he just slings his arm around this salamander doppleganger and poses for 400 photos and Jake is teasing him like wow Strider try not to laugh too hard it’s not like anything objectively hilarious is happening here and Dirk is just internally screaming forever

he’s going to send these snaps to jane and roxy and dave and everyone isn’t he


(yes he is)


Requests: “Jake Riley 2,3,4 from the prompt list😍😍” Prompt List

“If you keep watching and getting angry its only going to spur her on.” Another officer whispered to Y/N. “She flirts with all of us here. But lately she’s had her eye on your Jake.” Just that sentence alone made Y/N fume. It wasn’t the officer’s fault for telling her. No she wanted to fight that stupid…beautiful blond haired officer. “If it makes you feel any better, Jake doesn’t give into her.”

Y/N swallowed the anger down and crossed her arms. “You know I come to give him his lunch like once a week. And its like she knows. And when she knows shes always touching his shoulder or pressing her hand to his cheek.” She was pretty sure her face was red. She probably looked like that angry emoji.

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