come and get it girl

Valentina: Come on girls, you need to get dressed before the man arrives from the cat rescue centre!
Amber: But what if the cats claw my clothes?
Heather: Yes, wouldn’t it be prudent for us to remain in our pyjamas until we discovered the true nature of these cats?
Valentina: Prudent? Where did you even learn that word?

i say “straight cis men are spoiled, that’s all. spoiled brats.”

my father bristles. “oh, so i can say the reverse of that? how would you feel if i called your entire gender something like that?”

like what? like bitch? like hysterical? like keep your voice down, don’t get crazy, don’t be one of those girls, come on, just say yes to me. like what? like needy, like over-emotional, like high maintenance? 

i say, “i know what it feels like.”

he says, “men just want things and you’re pretending being denied those things doesn’t hurt.”

oh i know it hurts. but when i hurt, i hurt myself. i cut into the lip of my body and rip out all the good things. when i hurt, i blame myself. when boys around me hurt, they hurt me. come at me with fists and knives and screaming. trap me on trains while they shout names at me. lock me in the car when i try to leave. hold me down and ignore the begging.

i say, “it does. but, while women can be toxic and abusive, i find that denying a man something is like telling a spoiled child they can’t have a toy for being good.”

on my tongue are stories that don’t seem to break the pattern. stories i know other women have. men who wanted me because i was nice to them, men who wanted me because they were nice to me, men who turned equally quickly into beasts, howling about their lacking, how i owed them, how they could take advantage of me, how, like bread and water, they were starved of me. of course i should give in, how dare i let them go hungry, how selfish it was of me. 

my father says, “when. there are tons of perfectly fine men and just as many bad women. you’ve worked in retail. you’ve complained about them.”

oh, yes. i’ve had my humanity dragged through the dirt by that-kind-of-haircut, by “speak to your manager”, by still-in-the-store-an-hour-after-closing. i’ve been screamed at and serenaded by swear words. i’ve had women look like they were about to pop a blood vessel. 

none of those women ever followed me to a car. none of those women ever wrote down my name just to find me on facebook. none of those women ever followed me home, sniffed at my neck, told me how pretty i’d look naked. oh, i’m sure they wanted to kill me. but they didn’t make it about how much they’d debase me. it was a clean threat, a cold knife. 

it’s a hard thing to explain. that i knew if these women went for me, it wasn’t because of my gender, and that made those threats differ. the same way that if they had been threatening me for being gay, it would have been scary. i was just in the wrong place when they hated me. they didn’t hate me because of my identity.

i clear my throat. “a spoiled woman wants what i’m not giving her, sure. but i can usually calm her down by helping and understanding. and we’re talking about the difference between being denied an object and being denied access to my body.”

my father snorts. “i think you’re blowing this out of proportion.” 

there’s an entire group of men on reddit that we’ve just come to accept as thinking of women as objects. it’s not a small group, either, but what are you going to do. they write each other novels about how women are all animals who need to be controlled, how they’re “involuntarily celibate”, that we’ve denied them all. and how somehow, that denial is our fault. there’s been murders because men were mad they couldn’t have women. mass murders. serial murders. and so many of them were straight violence: not for the intention of killing, but of dragging out the sorrow of it. did you know rape isn’t about sex, it’s about power.

my mouth hurts. i tell him, “you should see how they act when you’re in a position of power above them.” 

how they are when they find out a hispanic female got the job. how they are when it’s me, and i’m not even five foot three, and they know they can intimidate me. how it is when they raise voices over me, and sit on my desk, and come into my room without asking, and ask who i blew in order to get here, and ask to see my resume because obviously i was given the job for diversity and not my three years experience, and ask if i’d be their office affair, and stretch themselves to expand, like a balloon, filling, filling. how their voices pop, “stole my job,” “affirmative action is reverse racism,” “i’m going to bend her over one of these days and show her who’s boss.”

my father shrugs. “if it bothers you so much, stop listening to them.”

in three days from this conversation, one of my friends will text me that a guy pulled a knife on her in a bar because she said no. in two days from this conversation, i will have someone pull up my skirt. on the day of this conversation, three of my friends and i will get wine drunk and cackle over white boys texting and their dick pics and demands for love. when they say things like “you’re a slut and i fucking hate you and i hope you die” when she says no, we laugh. when my skirt comes up, i laugh. when my friend is at knifepoint, she laughs.

did you know laughter is a fear response. 

to my father i say, “just watch. watch what happens when a woman says no.”

he shakes his head. “god, where do you even get this stuff?”

i want to live in a world where i got this from nowhere. where it’s just a figment. where i’ve never met men in the wild, only read about them, and their hands, and their ability to take things from me without feeling sorry. i want to live in a world where other women are confused about the accusations, haven’t experienced the same thing, or haven’t heard the same thing from the women close to them. i want to live in a world where it’s fake, because they treat us like it’s fake; instead of living where it’s this giant open secret like a blood boil, pulsing, a shush of things we’ve learned to answer with laughing, a big burn mark we’ve all been through but is somehow not counted as scarring. i want to live in a world where i’m making up my experiences for want of them; where i’ve never been kissed or touched or groped without my permission, where i don’t fear trains and enclosed spaces. the world i see so many men live in; where it might be a concern on their periphery, but not enough to warrant attention.

“you’d see it too,” i say through his words, “if you just stopped and listened.”

8

our stories aren’t over yet. no, they’re not.

10

Daisy Johnson in Agents of SHIELD: ‘Farewell, Cruel World!’

5

And here’s the WiP for last night’s watercolor ! I’m so glad I managed to make something messy and that it actually satisfies me.

2

girls/girls/boys - panic! at the disco

Normani doing what she does best, seeking out any camera when a 25 mile radius

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alec looking at magnus ( 5 / ?? )

Movies I learned sugar skills from

We all know Marilyn Monroe, Angelina Jolie, and Halle Berry are some of the gems we have in movies now. But I’ve watched a lot of movies that helped me gain the sugar personas I had and I want to share some of those with you all.

Girlfriend experience

This is one of the more popular movies for sex workers and it is now a tv series. I personally liked it because I was ending a relationship while I was sugaring and I did feel some of the ways Christine felt.

Another thing I loved about this movie was the documentation and research this girl did on her clients. I use to have a notebook filled with all my POTs and SDs info, status, job info, likes and dislikes, turn ons, etc. My ex stole it a while ago but lucky for me I didn’t write down searchable info, even the names were in code.

I would recommend this as the first to watch before you binge watch sex work movies like I did.

Originally posted by haidaspicciare

Memoirs of a geisha

This is one of my personal favorites because I love the Asian culture when it comes to beauty. The grace, the discipline, and the routine of these woman is really what got me.

When I saw that one look method I was determined to get it to work for me. The Kama Sutra movie below also helped me achieve this. But nothing gets a man across the room faster than an enchanting look from a beautiful woman in their direction.

From this movie I was able to learn how to move more gracefully which is very attractive for men who like “exotic” women. So if you got hips sway them, if you have long legs be swift with your steps, and if your hand are flawless move them like a water bender on avatar (anime joke).

The Treacherous

This movie is very gory so if that’s not your thing don’t watch it. But it does show some intense training for courtesans (old world Asia times).

The seductiveness of these women turned me on so I knew the same methods would turn any man on too. My favorite seductive move is the removing of clothes shown in the beginning scenes where the man challenged the woman to a strip game.

Another scene that showed me a lot of gems was the actual training of the women and how they were to taught to please. I even got some old school hoe tips for my Vag in this movie.

Kama Sutra

Yes it is spelled right and yes it is about using Karma Sutra. If you want a movie example of how some Karma Sutra techniques work then look no further.

This movie showed me how equally important foreplay is for men as it is for us. It showed little snippets of how even feeding can be sensual for men. My favorite tip from the movie would have to be the eye movements of the women while they danced. Those eyes have gotten me compliments from many dance teachers because they could see sexiness in my eyes.

Just look at these eyes:

Originally posted by jillianroses

Etiquette of a mistress

In case you haven’t noticed by now I watch a lot of Asian movies. This one in particular is informative and funny so you’ll really enjoy watching it.

If you’re a sugar that deals with a lot of married men this movie is for you. It shows you how to be properly discrete with your time together and how to deal with the cons of a married man. The best part of this movie is it shows the perspective of a veteran and a newbie, so I know my vets will enjoy this if they or helping any newbies out there.

Wolf on wall street

This is of course on here because of the famous Naomi character that we love so much. Her sharp tongue is definitely needed when you are trying to pass through all the BS talk. But another thing to pay attention to is her physical presentation of herself. Her style with her looks was like devil in a red dress but with diamonds add.

Two can play that game

This one is mostly for my brown SBs who are close to their mid 20s.

In the 2000s this movie was like the black woman’s player guide. I’ve used many of these strategies to get men back on track to what I wanted. My little black dress is still in the closet waiting for the day my fiance acts up.

One thing from that movie I don’t do is flaunt another man because doing that in this world can severe ties real quick.

A lot of people focus on Shante in this movie but I also loved watching Conny too. Mainly because I love Gabrielle Union’s acting especially in Being Mary Jane.

Originally posted by spacecadet

Whoresglory

I didn’t learn much from this movie for my personal gain but I did learn a lot about sex work around the world. So if you’re just interested in a movie that shows you different kinds of sex workers watch this.

Breakfast at Tiffany

I love a good Audrey Hepburn movie because her white woman swag is just as awesome as Marilyn’s. She taught me how to be sweet and

youthful while also being mysterious and unavailable.

Being sweet and youthful is what kept my men feeling lucky to have me. But being mysterious and unavailable at times is what kept them on their toes and more willing do what was needed to “secure” me.

Originally posted by be-holder-com

Show Girls

I’m starting to think I should’ve tried stripping because sexy dancing is one of my favorite things to do. Expressing with my body is like art to me but I was probably right not to strip, I would get addicted.

This movie however made me more glamorous and aggressive when it came to my sexy looks. I never got a chance to see real show girls in Vegas but I’m pretty sure I would be in awe by them. I’ve never been a glamorous person but after this movie I started adding a little shimmer and glitter to my style.

Chicago

Again with the dancing lol, I’m sorry ladies but these women, even with out the dancing were phenomenal. The He Made Me Do It song was an all time favorite for me.

But as far as lessons I started to see how competitive women could be when it comes to money and credibility/fame.

I learned on movies like this how to out smart them when it comes to whales.There have been many new girls who tried taking my main SD away from me but they couldn’t get to my relationship quality. Even when girls did get some dates from other SDs of mine they didn’t last long. So please remember ladies quality and good relationships always wins when it comes to real SDs.

Josephine Baker Biography

My girl next door persona has always got me the most money. So when I saw this biography I started mastering it. Her happy demeanor and tiny voice was so close to mine it wasn’t hard to practice.

What made me the happiest, was that even though she was sweet, innocent, and goofy she was also sensual. She knew how to express her sexuality without taking away from her innocence.

The end of the movie was sad and showed a lot of her flaws but she was still iconic.

Originally posted by barbara-stanwyck

Confessions of a Brazilian Call Girl

I can’t remember if this is based on a true story are not but it’s amazing. Especially with the online social platforms we have now, this movie has been very useful. This woman on here became a high class call girl based on online status alone.

She was also another person I looked to for glam sexuality and showed many women that even average women can dominate the sex world. There were bad parts like her cockiness and drug use but if she would’ve stayed in her grind she would’ve still been raking in millions. One thing this movie can show you (on the bad side) is that you should never try to “Keep up with the Jones” even in the sex world because it’s never greener on the other side.

Call Me: The Rise and fall of Hiede Fliess

If you don’t know Hiede Fliess, look her up now. She’s the greatest when it comes to call girls. The tactics she used to get where she was is amazing. She really knew how to keep connections with her clients and how to get other girls money.

I don’t know what she does now but I do respect the contributions she’s made to the sex work industry. If you’re in LA or Hollywood you should really watch this movie.

Some notable tv women I watch

Joseline Hernandez

She’s so unapologetic about who she is and will get money by any means necessary. Her and Cardi B are like alter egos I wish I had sometimes.

Originally posted by joselinehernandezgifs

Cardi B

She is one of the realest woman I’ve seen on TV and she used what she had to get her fame. Now that she got it she is doing here to the max and I’m happy for her.

Nene Lakes

I can see myself being like Nene when I get older and wealthier. She is a star in many forms and doesn’t let these women or her man interfere with her money. She went from housewife to breadwinner even outside of the show.

Originally posted by realitytvgifs

Whitley Gilbert

I get all my bougie ways from Ms. Whitley lol. Really she was a good representation of a high class but down to earth black woman for me. She started out a little too much for me but after some seasons she grew on me. I’m always a sucker for tiny voiced women because mines is tiny too (Not as annoying as hers).

Tasha Patrick

Now I’m going to be honest I just started watching power but I love this women’s attitude. She’s sexy, ride or die, and also strategically vengeful. I might update this after I finish the show but for now that’s all I have to say.

Originally posted by justalittletumblweed

Phaedra Parks

This woman beats me in being bougie and extra. I’ve never seen anyone who goes all out like she does. When I was in college I always wanted to be a like southern belle with curves so when this show came on I was tuned in. If you ever wanted to see an example of a curvy southern belle that can still get a little ghetto, Here she is.



This list is just a few of the many women I’ve watched to perfect my personas.

Now, when I switch my persona it’s not to completely change who I am but helps me adapt to different environments.


For example: If my SD likes to watch football games from his box then I’m not going to go into my prim and proper mode, I’m going to bring out girl next door me.


Depending on what your daddy likes you’re going to be put in different types of atmosphere and if you’re black than your going to need to adapt. The way to more opportunities is by building your credibility which is usually based on how much people like you. You re like an undercover celebrity lol.

Now if you don’t want to change that’s fine but that’s what’s work for me.

I change up like a Johnny Depp Movie role

Originally posted by yourlifeisinsanity

Hope this all was helpful to you ladies.

Much Love T