columbia theatre

So we did a rocky horror car wash because publicity and funds and we did it in full costume along the high way. Literally small town people called and was like “they are dressed and dancing provocative” and “they are encouraging the gay and lesbian lifestyle” and just Jesus Christ they literally turned off water in the middle of a car and we had relocate.

Highlights from my College Essays this Year

EDIT: I had this queued to post on May 1st, but for whatever reason it never did. I’m posting this now because a few of you have asked me about some of my essays. These are all from 2014-2015. These are mostly opening lines btw

  • “Like most moments in my life, my first impression of academia can be summarized by Stephen Sondheim lyrics: bizarre; fixed; cold.” (Stanford)
  • “I think eighth-grade-me would hate myself for painting.” (Columbia)
  • “For as long as I can remember I’ve concocted elaborate assassination plots against myself” (Stanford)
  • “Ever since I draped an executioner’s hood over my face, shredded bundles of lettuce, and sent the resulting “Veganism” PSA to my entire school on April Fool’s Day, people told me I’m overly dramatic.” (Brown)
  • “From the age of eleven I’ve lusted for revolution.” (Brown)
  • “Dear Brown: You’re not like the other colleges.”
  • “In her grand Act I finale (“Take-A,Take-A,Take Me/Spooky College Wait Dream”), the candidate anxiously envisions her UChicago dream while encouraged by visions of Steven Levitt and Carl Sagan, whilst dancing cups of Ramen Noodles surround her.” (UChicago-I wrote the whole thing like a summary of a musical)