TL:DW SHINee MV’s Edition

Replay: These 5 young cuties confess their love over a smooth beat and relaxing melody with controlled but beautiful vocals. They got to dance in a set version of a dance room that was 10x better than the one they actually used at SM to practice, and Taemin’s hair was tragic, but his dance moves were magic.

Love Like Oxygen: A lot of growling, but at least no one’s hair was broken and a mess. Slick chair choreography and matching open vests. No one had a clue what the set design was supposed to be and they all kept walking away but looking back over their shoulders.

A.Mi.Go:  So a girl steals Minho’s magical light that keeps him from seeing in color and he’s like “Um no chick that light wasn’t cheap, SM said if I lost it I would have to add an extra 5 years on my contract, so give it back” but she said no and ran. He chased her while the rest of the guys sang and didn’t help. But it was cool because when he was running he decided maybe he should start acting irl. Then he caught up with the girl, and after some longing looks she gave the light back, and then he just stood there awkwardly touching her.

Juliette: Ooh look! Another song that Jonghyun starts! Go figure. Minho’s pants choice was unfortunate and bulky accessorized shades were all the rage. No one even dies or gets hurt in a song about one of the saddest tales in literature. Tie-dyed shirts were brought back even though no one really asked for them to reappear in the mainstream limelight.

Ring Ding Dong: The best song in Kpop history hands down. 5 super cool bad boys ride the rhythm of funky beats right into our hearts. Featuring confused stair climbing and seductive water dancing. Brought such innovative lines as:

We wanna go rocka, rocka, rocka, rocka, rocka, rock (so fantastic) go rocka, rocka, rocka, rocka, rocka, rock (so elastic) fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, elastic, elastic, elastic, elastic”

A lyrical masterpiece which depth goes so far as to leave you questioning your very identity and place in this world. Genius.

Lucifer:  Okay since dancing in front of one car in Ring Ding Dong went so well we should totes do it in front of 3 and REALLY blow minds dude! Bring back that weird light thing from A.Mi.Go and shave one side of Key’s hair completely…trust me it will be the best hair decision he ever made! Do you have some dull scissors? Okay good because we need to cut Minho’ hair in the dark too. Just get the same writer who gave us our iconic English lines in Ring Ding Dong and we’ll call it a day!

Hello: Onew’s smile melted your heart, as he and the rest of the guys confessed their love in the middle of a street while changing clothes, and hairstyles at least 7 times. Little known fact that this was one of the first recorded documentations of someone doing the *whip* dance and even the booty shake made popular by NCT U made its first appearance here as well.

Sherlock: SHINee’s Back. A museum that houses things that have already been found is a wonderful place to look for something out in the open with a magnifying glass! And oh floors that just happened to be good for dancing too! How convenient. Give Taemin a weave but only in certain scenes because consistency is for lames. Have a girl appear and disappear for mystery and so that the boys can give their smoldering stares to the camera. The Shawols will dig it like crazy.

Dream Girl: SHINee’s back…..again. Taemin started a song and thus began his world take over. Not quite sure if their clothing was matching but I’ll let it slide.  Onew cleaned the floor with his body, Jonghyun blessed our ears with a vocal roll to slay the angels, and everyone kept falling onto a giant trampoline.

Why So Serious?:  The harmonies were on point as they danced in front of yet another abstract set design. Pretty dope suits and coats for you fashion lovers, but no one dressed up like the Joker causing the video to fall a half a point. 99% chance that you’ll want a top hat by the end of it.

Everybody: The amount of guyliner used caused a temporary shortage in Korea. Taemin wanted to show everybody he and his body were now of age. Proved that the statement “Women can’t resist a guy in uniform” is totally true. Didn’t really make sense but when do these vids ever? The dancing was next level and iconic and it’s impossible to listen to without nodding your head at least once.  The “DJ” and “Zombie” dance really pushed this song to the cream of the crop.

Colorful: Awhh it’s Christmas! So let’s make a cute little song and use old footage from our Dream Girl & Everybody MVs.  You want more?? Okay well we’ll throw in some old concert footage and sing directly to the camera, while wearing cute coats on the outside of our shoulders….More?? OKAY LET’S EVEN THROW IN A CAKE AT THE END! If you don’t feel somewhat emotional  after all that you must be dead.

View: Proves that being kidnapped can be fun, if it’s by sexy foreigners with model bodies and flowing hair. Why be nice to your fans and make a video where we can actually see your faces when you can just use a blinding light effect instead?  Show skin and hold beer bottles just in case anyone forgot that we’re grown now and needs a reminder.

Married to the Music: The song that made you realize that maiming people for life is fun, and that 99% of SHINee’s bodies are utterly useless when you want to make your dream man. Beheadings, confetti ,plus awkward ponytails make for a perfect horror party. Probs should do a background check on the music you choose marry while you still have your whole body intact.