What the signs would do with a time machine

Aries: Would go back and kick Christoffer Colmbus’s ass

Taurus: Would get the winning lottery numbers

Gemini: Would pick up Cleopatra, a dinosaur and Martin Luther King, and then they’d fight crime together.

Cancer: Would go to high school with their parents, to see what they were like when they were teenagers

Leo: Would take some technology with them and use it to wow people and make them worship them like a god

Virgo: Would go back and actually do something useful, like prevent 9/11

Libra: Would go forward just a few months to check out the trends, then be a trendsetter in our time

Scorpio: Would totally have a threesome with Marylin Monroe and Joe Dimaggio 

Sagittarius: Would paint and carve naughty things in caves, just to freak out today’s archeologists.

Capricorn: Would just go a few months into the future to get that album/video game that won’t come out ‘till then.

Aquarius: Would go 300 years into the future and come back with proof of alien existence

Pisces: Would try to make friends with historical figures, and probably flirt with the cute ones