An alternative to Bitty being completely oblivious to Jack’s feelings

Bitty is a gay man in a collegiate sport who grew up in the Deep South. He is Aware™ of himself at all times, even if he doesn’t talk about it on his vlog. He probably knows that although he is accepted now, if he crosses an invisible line of physical/emotional affection with some of the guys that acceptance can disappear in an instant. We can speculate on the sexuality of the other guys, but none of them are open in the way Bitty is, so he has to operate on different rules than the other guys.

We know, canonically, that he is mostly exempt from rough-housing. This isn’t because he’s smaller, it’s because he’s gay. Rough-housing is toeing that line and Bitty would probably be careful to exclude himself whenever possible. The other guys probably exclude him with the excuse that he’s small, but there’s a layer underneath that they would never acknowledge. This is the sort of thing that even really supportive straight friends do, often unconsciously. It’s part of the “unwritten rules”.

So, back to Jack. We’re shown the two of them getting increasingly touchy in the background of several panels Year 2. We’re shown through Bitty’s twitter that Jack seeks him out, incessantly chirps him (which by Bitty’s own admission, is a variation on flirting), and starts to include Bitty in the rough-housing. Bitty overheard the conversation with Parse and heard Parse interrupt Jack with what was probably a kiss. Bitty can connect those dots - he’s not dumb. The thing is - he’s also never going to bring it up, because Bitty understands living in the closet and how scary it is. He also understands that Jack’s future is on the line. Jack already has so much stacked against him - the overdose, the crazy expectations, his own crippling anxiety - and Bitty surmises that Jack can’t also live with his sexuality out in the open too. So, he lets Jack get closer, orbiting him, but never, ever pushes him or even hints that he knows. It’s a secret and Bitty isn’t going to violate that.

Instead, he just cherishes the moments he gets. He catalogs them carefully, even though it probably really hurts. The guy he has an outsize crush on keeps seeking him out and sitting too close to him and giving him piggyback rides and lending him his jacket. Bitty knows that this is outside the bounds of his other friendships. He knows that Jack is crossing the line and he lets him, instead of closing himself off and not allowing it like he might have with the other boys. He just shakes his head and says this boy.

What I’m getting at here is that Bitty might have known, or at least strongly suspected, that Jack had non-friend feelings for him. However, he also probably thought that Jack didn’t think they were important or big enough feelings to actually act on. That’s why we find Bitty literally sobbing in Jack’s room after graduation because Bitty thinks that it’s the absolute end of the road for them and even the casual flirtation will be gone as soon as he boards that plane to Georgia in a few hours. Jack is moving on to Providence and the NHL and Jack isn’t going to take the risk on his future. Bitty wasn’t expecting Jack to kiss him, but not because Bitty was oblivious to Jack’s feelings. He doesn’t expect the kiss because he has convinced himself that Jack does feel something for him, but not strongly enough to actually pursue it.

ETA: now in 5k-word fic format, for your angsty needs

Athlete: Allison Stokke
School: University of California, Berkeley
Team: CAL Bears
Sport: Track & Field - Pole Vault
Competition: 81st Clyde Littlefield Texas Relays
Opponent: Various
Result: 6. Place
Location: Mike A. Myers Stadium - Austin, Texas, USA
Date: 04-Apr-2008


A NEW ERA OF ALUMNI NEWS 1950-1978 (part 2)

“University’s Chemists Busy Researchers”
The Redman, October 1951

This issue of The Redman alumni magazine shows Professor Horan at work in a chemistry lab at the Uptown (Lewis Avenue) campus of St. John’s. As this feature article explains, he and the other faculty in the chemistry department worked on their research as well teaching and advising students. Professor Horan was focused on investigating cobalt compounds, and a series of mixtures of aluminum compounds, to better understand their properties and determine if there could be a future commercial use for them.  (image 1-2)

“SJ Athletic Program Helps Serve Education”
The Redman, February 1953

“Sportsmanship, fair play, teamwork and leadership are the aims of any collegiate sports program in its service to education.” Providing an historical overview of the athletic programs at St. John’s for alumni readers, this article illustrates the many opportunities for student athletes, from the earliest games in the last decades of the 1800s, to the proliferation of varsity, freshman, and intramural programs of the 1950s and today.  (image 3)

“St. John’s Celebrates 100 Years”
Alumni News, May 1969

The commencement exercises of June 1969 marked the start of the 1969-1970 Centennial Year - the 100th Anniversary of the founding of St. John’s University. Another front page article highlights one of the many activities for the Centennial celebrations, a concert series at Philharmonic Hall in Lincoln Center.  (image 4)

The female players from the Foxes and Trojans teaming up. Dan, Renee, Allison, Lalia and Alvarez being part of a Play Like a Girl movement which calls out the sexism in collegiate and professional sports and encourages young girls to play Exy.

Non-sexualized photo shoots in athletic wear and full Exy gear.Action shots and highlight reels of them playing - block goals, stealing balls, scoring, checking, just generally being badass. Allison talking about how she went against her parents wishes to play college Exy and doesn’t regret it one bit.Dan talking about how she became captain of the team that upset the Ravens’ era in dominating college Exy. Thea and other female pro-players getting involved as well. Just a lot of positive reinforcement and encouragement.

Sorry guys I just need to rant about this whole thing in Arizona.

Whether or not others choose to believe it, Arizona cares about hockey. It’s a major high school sport, collegiate sport, and pickup sport here. There are quite a few rinks and pro shops. Just because the Coyotes don’t sellout every game doesn’t mean that we don’t care. Yeah the Coyotes had trouble, and they’re in trouble now, but that doesn’t give any right to other fans to say we don’t care for hockey.

Coyotes fans gathered in their gear multiple times to plead in 100+F (35+C) degree weather for this team. Just because this is the desert doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy a sport on ice. Coyotes fans are some of the most loyal fans I’ve ever seen, especially as of late.

Stop saying that this was bound to happen. Stop saying Arizona doesn’t care for hockey. Stop acting like you’re above the Coyotes. We’re a hockey family and they are a part of it whether you credit them or not.

Owning up

I remember why I started this blog.

I saw a picture on the worldwide web of a nightstand that was made from an oak tree stump. I wanted to recreate it. So I followed the link. Spent the next two days chopping down a tree in my parents backyard, chiseling off the bark, sanding it down to make it useable next to my bed.

I found the original picture on a blog on this website. I scrolled through the pictures and fell in love.

So I started my own. I was a 20 year old college student drowning in my studies to become a nurse and juggling being a two sport collegiate athlete. I longed for a dog. I relished the outdoors and longed to be there than in the library.

4 years later, I’m done with school. I have an incredible husky. I’m no longer an athlete and I’m practically a lumberjack with the amount of time I spend outside.

But now, I’m a trauma nurse.

The magnitude and weight of those words can not be quantified.

Why am I writing this? For myself. I never started this blog for anyone but myself. Putting my words down has always helped me get a grip on my feelings and my emotions.

How do I tell myself about what I’ve seen over the last year and explain to myself why I’ve gotten away from this blog?

It all comes back to those two words. Trauma nurse.

I’m 24 and walk into work everyday not knowing if I’m going to be the last person someone sees alive. I’ve held someone’s heart in my hand after a thoracotomy has failed and the manual compressions I was performing weren’t enough. I’ve had to be the first to tell parents of a newborn that they will never again hear their child cry. I’ve cried more than I ever thought possible. Literally, it’s unimaginable.

Taking my nightly antidepressants has become a habit I don’t even think twice about. If I close my eyes, the only thing I see is blood and death. Thus, I’ve turned to prescribed sleeping aids just to be able to wake up and do it all over again.

I’m practically going through the motions when I’m not in the middle of life and death.

However, it is the only time I feel truly happy. I’m that sick and twisted.

Im constantly asked me why I do what I do. Why I willingly choose to take the hard road.

I always respond the same way. Simple: why do you assume I see two roads? I don’t necessarily believe in God. But I cannot deny that there is a higher power. For I know, that no matter how trying and difficult my job and life has become, I know beyond a reasonable doubt that this is the life I was created for.

I’m sorry to myself for stepping away from this blog for a year. But I’m finally to a point where I know who I am, and it’s time I accept that.

Morgan Cheripko
@ Morgan_Lynnn

I have played sports year round since I was 7 years old and went on to play collegiate sports. Although I’ve been active, I’ve never considered myself happy with my body constantly torturing myself with cardio hoping that I would get somewhere, but I never saw the results I was hoping for.
My progress with BBTG has changed the whole way I live. I’ve gone down 2 clothing sizes and feel stronger than ever. I have now learned to love my body for what it is. My energy levels are off the roof, I’m more positive and I am always in a good mood because I supply my body with good foods and proper exercise. I am now “HEALTHY” instead of just “Active” and it couldn’t feel better.

Made with Instagram

Teamwork 👟

LDTB, all day every day 💗

I miss college, and I miss my teammates, and I miss the adrenaline of leaving it all on the cross country course. I don’t miss spandex that rose up CONSTANTLY, but hey, it’s all part of the cross country runner aesthetic.
So I wonder what will come of this
A proposed bill to bring "actual accountability" to the National Collegiate Athletics Association could give the federal government a role in reshaping the way the NCAA treats college athletes.

The bill’s authors are Reps. Charlie Dent (R-PA), Joyce Beatty (D-Ohio), John Katko (R-NY), and Bobby Rush (D-IL). Among other provisions, it …

… calls for the creation of a presidential commission on intercollegiate athletics that would analyse the diminishing role of athletes’ academics in major college sports, the lack of health and safety precautions for athletes, and the ever-growing finances of the NCAA. The commission could then make reform recommendations to Congress and the White House.

I tend to think the “ever growing finances of the NCAA” is the most important thing to look at. The “revenue sports” – that is to say, football and, often, men’s basketball – are the most popular and generate the most revenue for the NCAA and for its institutions. And with that huge amount of money comes huge problems, as we’ve seen for years (SMU in the 1980s comes to mind. On Netflix, watch the ESPN 30 for 30 documentary Pony Exce$$ for a good going-over of the SMU scandal).

Whether some individuals like it or not, college sports aren’t going away, but I can remember when it wasn’t the bloated monolith it was today. And remember when you ruminate upon how much money it makes, the NCAA is a tax-exempt organisation. Even the professional National Football League (another bloated monolith) is voluntarily giving up its tax-exempt status.


Should have posted this earlier this week. Yes, I do pay attention to the NCAA Tournament, obviously. But don’t think I’m unaware of the complete bullshite that bubbles to the surface like unto a geyser each March. John Oliver lays it down, hard, and good for him. This is one of the best segments I’ve ever seen of his programme (admittedly I have to catch these on YouTube … no HBO).

BIO’s from the PTX official website

Seriously though, if you haven’t already, take the time to read these! 

Scott is a songwriter and pianist who has been performing since the age of 8.  Following his graduation from Martin High School in Arlington, TX, Scott enrolled at USC where he joined the SoCal VoCals, a popular and accomplished campus a cappella group.  Involved with a variety of musical projects, Scott has been a finalist on CBS’ Star Search and has performed the National Anthem and “God Bless America” at numerous professional and collegiate sporting events, including home games for the Texas Rangers, Dallas Cowboys and Dallas Mavericks.

Mitch is the youngest member of Pentatonix and a recent high school graduate (he was a high school senior when taping of The Sing-Off commenced).  In addition to immersing himself in music theater in Arlington, TX, Mitch’s music tastes skew heavily toward underground club and electronic music.  A veteran of many vocal and talent competitions, Mitch took first place at the Teen Talent Follies for his rendition of Scott Alan’s “Kiss the Air.”  Mitch is honing his skills in production and DJ-ing while excelling as a lead vocalist for Pentatonix.

Kirstin is a National Hispanic Scholar and was a sophomore Music Theater major at The University of Oklahoma before joining Pentatonix.  She developed her vocal and performance skills during her eight years as a touring member at Theatre Arlington where she’d learned to sing eight-part harmonies.  She began her classical training during high school and was a member of the Texas All State Choir for three years.  A four-year show choir member and dance captain, Kirstin held numerous roles in local stage productions, performing at shows around the Metroplex, including Casa Manana and Bass Hall.

Avi is a serious student of classical music who also plays guitar, composes and arranges music for both choral and a cappella.  A Visalia, CA native, Avi moved to Walnut, CA in 2007 to attend Mt. San Antonio College, known worldwide for their strong choral and a cappella tradition.  In 2008 he joined Fermata Nowhere, a high-energy male a cappella group that became the first community college a cappella entrants to win the prestigious ICCA.  Avi won the competition’s award for “Best Rhythm Section,” the first year that this award had ever included a vocal bass (the award was called “Best Vocal Percussionist” before Avi’s victory prompted the language change).  In his third year at Mt. San Antonio, Avi joined Sincopation, an award-winning jazz ensemble that won the Monterey Jazz Festival Competition in his first year.  He has performed at venues worldwide, including New York City’s Lincoln Center and Carnegie Hall.

Kevin grew up in the small town of Owensboro, Kentucky, the son of a Nigerian psychiatrist and a Grenadian nurse.  At an early age, Kevin began learning piano, cello and saxophone.  He performed at Carnegie Hall twice as soloist on the cello and saxophone and has appeared on NPR’s “From The Top.“  After finishing high school at Phillips Academy Andover, Kevin enrolled in Yale University where he was pre-med and majored in East Asian Studies.  He spent 18 months in Beijing becoming fluent in Chinese as a part of his Yale fellowship.  While in college, Kevin began developing his “celloboxing” skills and in 2009, he won second place in the “Celebrate and Collaborate with Yo-Yo Ma” international competition.  Ma would call Kevin’s celloboxing version of "Dona Nobis Pacem” both “inventive and unexpected.”  In 2011, Kevin’s “Julie-O” celloboxing YouTube video was featured by CBS, AOL, Huffington Post and Washington Post, among others.  Kevin was also named one of 100 “History Makers in the Making” by NBC’s TheGrio and was hand-chosen by Quincy Jones to represent him in concert at the 2012 Montreux Jazz Festival alongside Bobby McFerrin and Chick Corea.

My Thoughts on Small College Athletics

A couple of days ago, I posted a lengthy piece on Facebook that related to small college athletics (not basketball-specific) that has caught quite a bit of attention an has been shared quite a bit. 

As such, I thought that I would share here…..enjoy!

This may be a little lengthy (o.k…..I think that it’s probably the longest post that I’ve ever had), but I’ve had a few thoughts on the brain that I wanted to share, so here goes.  If you take the time to read the whole thing, this may provide a good amount of insight, and (hopefully) cause you to think a little different about collegiate athletics.

Since I’ve been involved in collegiate athletics for 20+ years now (wow, where has the time gone?), I often get asked a lot of questions about intercollegiate athletics.  Some are great questions.  Some, well, not so much.  Some come from people that are well-informed….and others, well, again, not so much. 

I often hear comments about the large sums of money that coaches make at the collegiate level.  I hear people talk about the prima donnas within collegiate athletics.  People have commented to me about the “corruption” in athletics.  I hear about how student-athletes aren’t really going to school to get a degree, but just to showcase themselves for their professional career. 

Then they bring up the subject of student-athletes getting paid…..oh, good Lord.  Unions are now a topic of discussion. 

Then people want to talk about television contracts, the money involved in bowl games, the CBS contract with the NCAA for March Madness (and the rest of NCAA championships - except, of course, football). 

Keep reading

“I was enchanted to meet you” May 20 in Bossier City, LA you met me and my little sister, and I was so excited I forgot everything I wanted to say to you! First off, I have been praying for you and your family so much since your announcement about your mom and I hope everything is going well. Secondly, I have been a huge fan since I was 13 years old and heard “Tim McGraw” for the first time. You are only a year younger than my older sister, and you will never know how much you have influenced my life. I was at the age where everything was changing and I soon found out that my “friends” weren’t really my friends, I was alone but you were there through your music and you understood. Then as I grew older I went through the normal breakups from high school boyfriends and you guided me through that, I played soccer and tennis for years during school which led me to play collegiate sports, your songs helped me prepare mentally for every game throughout 11 years of soccer and 8 years of tennis. My freshman year of college I sustained my third concussion and discovered over a month later that I had memory problems from the damage to my frontal lobe, your music helped me cope with the fact that I couldn’t play the sport I so dearly loved anymore. The end of my senior year of high school, I let a guy out of the friend zone and fell in love with him very quickly, we dated for three years before he broke my heart and I have never felt so much heartache in my life, your music guided me throughout the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. It took me a year to get back to feeling like myself because I had to see him every single day in class and at tennis practice, and I felt pathetic for taking so long, but you still seemed to understand everything I was going through. Your songs “All You Had To Do Was Stay” and “Clean” directly applied to my life and helped me so incredibly much. Over the past year, I have also seen my little sister go through difficult times being bullied and dealing with anxiety. We were so blessed to meet you Wednesday night, and the words you shared on stage before you sang “Clean” felt like they were meant for me and her. We were almost in tears because of it, you really impacted her that night since then she hasn’t stopped smiling. I won this contest right after my 22nd birthday and had been playing 22 on repeat and singing and dancing like no one was watching for days, I have now graduated from college and finally got to see you in concert and meet you in person, so this was not only a birthday present but a graduation present. I also felt incredibly special when you dedicated one of your Billboard awards to graduates and almost cried then too! You have so much influence in the world and help so many people through your music, I just wanted to thank you for everything you have done for me and my sister, we both love you and will never forget the experience we shared at your concert! taylorswift