college-roommates

anonymous asked:

🔥 anime

“Oh… You watch live-action? Isn’t most of it for kids? And the rest is borderline porn, right? Don’t get me wrong, I loved Power Rangers back in elementary school, but it’s kind of weird to watch that kind of stuff at our age… Yeah, I know some of it is for adults - my college roommate once showed me Game of Thrones, and it had a few of those kinds of scenes. So live-action isn’t for me, but to each their own, I guess.”

Fanfiction Tropes I’ll Never Get Tired of
  • lab partners (bonus if it’s a high school bio or chem assignment)
  • nerd and jock
  • detention
  • body switching
  • best friends since childhood
  • just pretending to hate each other
  • new college roommate
  • academic rivalry
  • sports rivalry
  • reincarnation
  • kissing to keep cover in a spy AU
  • enemies to friends to lovers
  • chapped lips
  • high school/college AUs

I hope joaquin keeps his powers after the apocalypse is over and like he doesn’t really use them but like one day he’s in his college dorm and his roommate startles him and he jumps and accidentally sets a thing on fire and his room mate is like dude wtf?? And joaquin is like ‘oh yeah remember when the apocalypse happened last year? So i got magic powers and they never really went away idk how it works or what but’

every time i see some tumblr poetry or whatever about how beautiful it is that certain songs can remind you of past memories all i can think about is how my dad is still enraged by the rawhide theme song because one time his college roommate got blackout drunk, crawled into my dad’s bed crying, and wouldn’t leave until my dad sang him the entire song in a soothing and gentle tone

gudyote  asked:

Even TF2, where the lore Valve has made is only loosely tied to the game, makes more sense than overwatch writing.

I mean the difference is that Team Fortress 2 relishes in the fact that it’s lore makes no goddamn sense.

Like how, for instance, canonically stairs were invented by Abraham Lincoln and before that everybody got to the second floor of buildings by rocket jumping.

And of course the Sniper is actually from Atlantis (also known as New Zealand) instead of Australia because he’s not hyper-muscular, moustached, versed in super advanced 1960’s technology and immune to fire, as all Australians are.

If this were TF2 Reaper would have gotten his powers from loosing a bet with his college roommate, a immortal medieval wizard who owns the entirety of Florida after winning it from beating the previous King of Florida in a hotdog eating contest.

Mercy wouldn’t be a doctor, rather having developed her healing technology after an experimentation involving the developmemt of more tasty fruit snacks that resulted in her own skeleton being removed and placed into the body of a gerbil. A year later it turns out the gerbil has been piloting Mercy’s body every since.

The story would revolve around a failed hero organization being reduced to taking on mercenary jobs in order to pay rent. Ana coming out of hiding? Needed to it the bills. Winston bringing back Overwatch? Sure he wants to relive the glory days of being a team of heroes, but his lease on Gibraltar is almost up.

Widowmaker is actually the spawn of the entire 1991 performance art company Blue Man Group, who travelled forward in time to assasinate the head of Overwatch, only to travel too far and find that Overwatch has already been disbanded.

Moira operating through piss healing is actually canon. Nobody wants her research for obvious reasons.

Living With a Roommate

One of the most nerve wracking parts of going off to college is the fact that you must live with a roommate. Here are some tips and advice about living with a roommate, whether they be a stranger or someone you know already!


1. Decide if you want to choose or go random

Most colleges give you the option to list someone to live with or to have the college decide for you. People like choosing their roommate because they are afraid of exactly who they will get and so they will often talk to other incoming freshman. Most colleges will have a facebook page for your class and people will talk on there, describing their lifestyle (clean or messy, etc) and see if they want to live together. If you decide random, your college will have a list of questions for you to answer and they will match you with someone compatible. 


2. Adjusting to Roommate Life

Understand that a dorm room is small for two people, and so talk to your roommate about your preferences or concerns. If you don’t discuss things you may have a problem with, your roommate will never realize why you get so angry when they’re studying with the light on at 3am. Communication is key and will keep everyone happy. Try to be understanding and don’t give your roommate a hard time about something they can’t change. 


3. Do your part

Just like you expect respect from your roommate, they expect it from you. If they told you it bothers them when you leave your socks on the floor, pick them up. Often we only focus on what’s bothering us and not what might be bothering others. If you want to write an essay but your roommate wants to sleep, go do it in the study lounge. Things that may seem little can make a huge difference.


4. You’re going to fight

You are going to fight with your roommate. You are living with someone for (usually) a full year. It’s expected and it’s healthy. However, don’t be passive aggressive. When you’re both angry, ask to talk about it immediately. Once you talk it through you have a better understanding and you actually feel welcome in your room once again.


5. You don’t have to be best friends

Every buzzfeed article I see about roommates talks about being bffs. You don’t have to best friends to live with someone!!! Most likely you’ll become friends with your roommate, but you do not have to go everywhere with them or hang out with them all the time. Sometimes it’s nice to get away from them a little bit just because you see them all the time. 


6. You might get a bad roommate

People always hear roommate horror stories and are scared to death by the fact that they might be one of those people. As someone who survived a terrible roommate, do not worry!! First, if you can tell you and your roommate will not live well together, the college will give you a month or two to switch rooms. If something happens later than that, you’ll be able to move out at the end of the semester. Make sure to talk to your RA about any concerns you have- that’s what they are there for! If you’re really worried about a bad roommate, just remember that you’ll be in class/working/with friends most of the day and that your room is just for sleeping. (I could never study in my room anyway, it’s too distracting.)


7. It’s not as scary as you think it is

Thanks to technology, you’re going to “know” your roommate before you move in and this will make it way less awkward. Even if you chose a random roommate the college will inform you who they are and you can talk to them on facebook, text, snapchat, etc! Once you move in together you’ll have time to talk as you’re arranging your room and often helps ease the tension. It’s both exciting and nerve wracking but I promise you’ll be fine!


8. You can be friends and not live together

Sometimes living together can put a strain on the friendship that had formed between you and your roommate. It’s ok to not live with them next year! Your friendship may grow stronger without the pressures of trying to adjust to each others lifestyles. Don’t be afraid to talk to your roommate if you don’t want to live with them another year. This isn’t a bad thing or the end of a friendship!!!


That’s all the tips I have! These are just based on me and a few others experiences and may not apply to you! You may get a roommate who becomes your best friend for life, but I’m just discussing the average college experience. Have any more tips you want to give or have questions? Send us an ask!

dysfunctional-college-roommates  asked:

42 + andreil? :)

It only took me all month to answer this! So sorry!

42: “I swear it was an accident.”

Andrew hasn’t even made it into the apartment and already he knows there’s trouble. His first hint is the smell: smoke. Not cigarette smoke, but a gross, acrid, burnt smoky smell. The second hint is the wail of the smoke detector and indistinct shouting. The third and most telling hint is that the door is half open, a definite no-no in the Minyard-Josten household.

I am so done with this shit Andrew thinks and then What the fuck is Neil doing? He pushes the door open, wrinkling his nose at the smell, which is almost overpowering.

“Honey, I’m home,” he calls out, voice heavy on the sarcasm.

Neil comes tearing around the corner, shirtless and inexplicably covered in blood.

“Oh my god! Andrew!” Neil yells. He’s holding a bloody towel and trying, ineffectually, to keep the blood from dripping on the floor. “I swear it was an accident!”

Andrew drops his bags and strides forward, checking Neil over. The wounds are superficial and look a lot like scratches. But that doesn’t explain the bloody nose.

“What the fuck happened?” Andrew demands.

“Neil, I can’t find Sir anywhere—oh…” Andrew stares hard at the man who has just walked out of the bedroom—he and Neil’s bedroom. “Andrew! Hey, uh, wow. This is awkward.”

Their landlord, Aubrey, is for reasons unknown also shirtless and covered in scratches. Andrew looks at Aubrey, then at Neil, his face as blank as always.

“Explain.”

Neil looks on the verge of a breakdown. “Aubrey, can you shut off the damn smoke detector? I swear to God I am about to lose my mind…” Neil hops up on the kitchen counter, head tipped back to try and stop the bleeding. “Christ. This is what I get for trying to be romantic.”

Aubrey snorts and Andrew shoots him a nasty glare. The snort turns into a terrified meep. Aubrey busies himself with the smoke detector, climbing on top of one of their chairs and unscrewing the covering to remove the batteries. The ceiling fans, Andrew notices, are circulating at top power and all the windows are open, letting in the muggy summer heat.

“So, what had happened was,” Neil starts. “I wanted to make you dinner.” Already Andrew is shaking his head. “I know! I know I’m not supposed to use the oven while you’re gone but I was just going to heat up some bread while I microwaved a lasagna. But I got distracted by the game… you know… and the lasagna blew up in the microwave.” Neil waves his hand to indicate the mess dripping out of the microwave onto the counter and floor. It looks like something from a horror film. “I started trying to clean that up,” Neil continues, “but I forgot I had the bread in the oven.”

“You forgot to mention the salad,” Aubrey interrupts. He looks like he’s enjoying this story too much, or maybe he’s just enjoying the view of Neil without his shirt. Andrew places a protective hand on Neil’s thigh and squeezes.

“Right, the salad. I bought a salad in a bag and I put the glass salad bowl Allison gave us on top of the stove so I wouldn’t forget.” Andrew already knows where this is going. “But I didn’t realize that I had accidentally turned on the burner when I turned on the oven? So the bowl got super hot and exploded!” Neil spreads out his fingers to mime an explosion. “Some of the glass sliced me. It scared the crap out of King and Sir. I stepped on some glass trying to go look for them. Then the bread I don’t know caught fire? Or something? It started smoking and set off the alarm.”

“Meanwhile I was getting calls from y’all’s neighbors about the noise and came up to check,” Aubrey interjects. “Neil answers the door covered in blood so I, uh, took off my shirt to staunch the bleeding.”

Andrew literally cannot believe Aubrey. He just stares at him. Stupid Aubrey and his 5’5” and his stupid football player build.

“While we were talking King snuck out,” Neil points at the door. “Aubrey chased him and brought him back but King scratched the shit out of him. We managed to get him in the bathroom. Which, okay, everything was fine but my feet were bleeding and I slipped on the linoleum and Aubrey tried to catch me and we both went down and I hit my nose on the side of the tub. Hurt like a motherfucker.”

“He swore a lot,” Aubrey adds.

“Right, so, that’s it. In a nutshell. Totally an accident, all of it.”

Andrew surveys Neil, bloody and with bruises already blossoming on his skin. He takes in the wrecked kitchen, the bloody footprints leading everywhere. The oven is open, the last of the smoke drifting out of the apartment. Through the open window he can see two charred baguettes smoldering on the balcony. Lastly, he looks at Aubrey, still clutching his blood stained T-shirt to his obnoxiously waxed and muscled chest.

“Well,” Andrew says, “this is a cluster.”

—–

After Aubrey leaves Andrew takes care of Neil, cleaning up his injuries like he’s done time and time again, though this is the first time that Neil has ever sustained culinary-related wounds. Thankfully the scratches and cuts are shallow but Neil will have black eyes from the nose job.

Once Andrew is done with First Aid he carries Neil back to the bedroom, settling him down on the bed. Sir, who has been hiding on the high shelves in the closet, jumps down and joins Neil. Andrew lets King out of the bathroom and King gives an indignant merow before getting on the bed. All four of them form a pile of bodies, human and feline. King settles on Andrew’s chest, kneading him and purring, sharp claws poking through his shirt. Sir licks the side of Neil’s face.

“I’m really sorry, Drew,” Neil sighs. “I wanted to do something nice for you and it ended up a disaster.”

“That’s what you get for breaking house rules,” Andrew grumps, flicking Neil’s ear. “But… thanks.”

Neil looks at him, blue eyes wide and startled. Andrew flicks him again. “But I better not catch you in our bedroom with another man, again.”

Neil laughs, head tipped back on the pillow. “Can you believe Aubrey took his shirt off? Who does he think he is, Magic Mike?”

Andrew groans. “Never should have let Nicky pick that one for movie night.”

They’re quiet for a minute; the only noise is the sound of the cats purring. Andrew scratches behind King’s ears and then does the same thing to Neil. Neil squints at him but smiles and leans into his touch.

“I’m glad you’re back,” Neil says.

Andrew tugs at Neil’s earlobe. “Glad to be back.”

The Roommate // Steve Harrington

Summary: Finding out your college dorm roommate is a male was a shock but it slowly turns good when a tragedy brings forth your feelings. Soon you head to his hometown when an embarrassing situation happens when a certain curly haired boy decides to break in to see his ‘older brother’.

Characters: Steve Harrington x Reader, Dustin Henderson, Mr and Mrs Harrington

Words: 2434

Prompts # 5. “Damn you are a kinky motherfucker….I like it.”
    15. “Well this is awkward…blueberry?”
    26. “Wait, where are my clothes?”

Disclaimer: I do not own Stranger Things or the characters involved. I only own the Reader and her plot. I also do not own any gifs or images that may appear in this either. The desktop theme provides the owner of the gifs. I only own the prompts and plot of this.

Warnings: Swearing, death, angst, fluff and nudity

Author: Caitsy.

Requested: @maryland03

A/N: I tried to make the reader a POC but it may not have completely been obvious. I tried to make it so the reader can be relatable to many audiences.

Master List

Prompt List

ASK US A QUESTION LIST

Originally posted by queenc-x

First year of college and it was already starting at a shitty pace from the minute you stepped into your dorm room. Somehow the college had accidentally paired you with someone of the opposite sex. You knew it the minute you walked in to see the teen male throwing a ball in the air that you’re adult life was already starting off shitty.

“Are you fucking kidding me.” You groaned dropping your bag on the ground with a huge thump.

“Can I help you?” The teen spoke sitting up on the average sized bed.

“Please tell me your the boyfriend of my roommate.” You begged with him.

“No this is my room and I’m guessing you’re my roommate?” Steve trailed off slowly taking in your form with as little interest as he could display. He was royally fucked because you were attractive.

“There has to be a mistake.” You cried tossing your other bags on the unmade bed on the other side of his. You sat down in despair trying to figure out a way to fix this mess but of course you had demanded you get the full college experience from your parents.

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Cas getting a job in college as a pizza delivery boy, just to pay the bills.

Dean, his asshole college roommate, ordering pizza whenever he knows Cas is working. He likes making Cas drive across town to his own dorm room, finds it hilarious. And he likes making the strangest requests, when he orders.

“Sing a song when I open the door.”

“Balance the pizza on your head.”

“Kneel when you give me the pizza, and call me Your Majesty.”

Cas goes along with it, because - well, he finds it funny in a way, even if he would never show it. It’s something that isn’t monotonous, at least, something different. Something weird. And Dean is kind of good-looking… and he seems less and less like a douche, the more Cas gets to know him.

In fact, he’s kind of… kind of the reason Cas doesn’t sleep at night, for the butterflies in his stomach. Kind of the only person Cas can think about.

Cas rearranges the pepperoni on Dean’s pizza one night, so that it’s in the shape of a heart. When he delivers it, he’s so busy blushing and throwing the pizza at Dean that he completely forgets to fulfill Dean’s typically stupid request at the door, and just runs.

The next night, though, when Dean’s request comes in, Cas doesn’t forget it. He thinks about it the whole ride across town, and when Dean opens the door - looking unusually shy and flustered and hopeful - he smiles.

“Kiss me?” the request read. And Cas does.

“Meet Me” Series

The one where Harry is your college roommate and you both catch feelings for each other.

Chapters

The Doorway

The Living Room

The Finish Line

The Hallway

The Morning 

The First Time 

Extras

A Little Cheeky

[in progress]

What we know about the dads so far

Not including the info on their little introduction posts. Stuff I got from tweets and the live stream. 
Craig Cahn:
He was your roommate in college 
He has 3 kids. 2 older twins (Briar and Hazel) and the baby (River) 
He has an ex-wife named Ashley who he has joint custody of the kids with. They got divorced last year.
He drinks marinara sauce like it’s a smoothie?
He’s a total fucking bro. He and your dadsona used to go on Bro Brunch. 
He jogs daily and is strong enough that he can jog while holding River on his chest without hurting her. 
Mat Sella:
He owns the local coffee shop, the Coffee Spoon. The name comes from a poem and even Mat admits that it’s kind of stupid.
The names of all the things on the menu in the shop are puns.
Mat’s name is a Front Bottoms reference (Their guitarist’s name is Brian Sella and their drummer’s name is Mathew Uychich)
Mat has one daughter
He’s kind of awkward and really sweet.
Puns! So many band and coffee puns!
Hugo Vega:
Hugo’s son’s name is Ernest 
Hugo has a Netflix account but he can never remember his login details
He also has an old excel spreadsheet that he made years ago of wine and cheese pairings that he will deny exists but updates regularly
He thinks his son only vapes to annoy him. He admits vaping is healthier than other forms of smoking but thinks smoking a pipe is more dignified.
Joseph Christiansen:
Joseph has tattoos that he covers 
He also owns a fidget spinner
He has 4 kids. One of them is a daughter named Christie. 
He’s the first dad you meet in the game! He brings cookies he baked to your house
Brian Harding:
He has one daughter, named Daisy. She’s 10 
He also has a corgi named Maxwell. 
Depending on what you choose he’s either the second or third dad you meet in the game. 
You! The player’s dadsona:
You have one daughter named Amanda and she’s a senior in high school. She’s a photographer. Doesn’t Like authority. Kind of reckless. All around adorable. 
You had a wife but she passed away. Her name started with a C.
You were in a Ska band called the Skauminist Manifesto
You can choose whether Amanda was adopted or whether your late wife gave birth to her
You and Amanda are new in town (Maple Bay). The game starts with you packing and moving.
Amanda is pretty much aware that your into guys and is low key your wing man.
General Game stuff:
After you meet Joseph you have a choice to either go to the coffee shop and meet Mat or go to the park and meet Brian and his daughter Daisy and then meet Craig and one of his daughters, River. 
You meet Robert Small fifth at a sports bar called Jim and Kim’s (though owned by a guy named Neil) after a mom named Mary tries to hit in you
You get the option to bang him almost immediately
You actually see him before hand in the coffee shop but don’t talk to him until the bar. 
Damien Bloodmarch is most likely a vampire from the Victorian Era
There are 13 children in total (including the player’s daughter Amanda) and 3 dogs (at least one of which belongs to Brian)
That leaves Damien and Robert having one child each.
There’s a cameo from the band Pup.
Most of the dialogue in the game is grunting (provided by the Game Grumps and Friends!)
The game will cost $14.99 when it’s released on July 13th at 10 AM Pacific
The acronym for the game Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator is DDADDS and that was intentional
The creators worked on this game for over a year and a half and really care about and it comes from a heartfelt place
I’m pretty sure they’re already planning a sequel
There will be DLC. Possibly more dads. 
The creators kind of hinted that they might make a mom dating game? 

jikook fics recommendations MASTERPOST (PT.1, long fics)

(pt. 2)

finished

  • *= smut

[3/3 chapters, 9k] shallow beds  (college!au)

[3/3 chapters, 8k] chemical reaction (canon!au)

*[2/2 chapters, 5k] digital (???? au)

*[2/2 chapters, 5k] how to seduce your dancer teacher by jeon jungkook (college!au)

*[5/5 chapters, 32k] once upon a timeshare (college!au, vacation!au)

[17/17 chapters, 57k] after hours (starbucks!au one of my favs)

[16/16 chapters, 58k] all the lovely unremarkable things (college au!)

*[12/12 chapters, 73k] dream maker (college!au, living together!au, poor!au one of my favs)

*[8/8 chapters, 30k] listen to my heartbeat (it’s calling you at its own will) (highschool!au, badboy!jk)

[18/18 chapters, 62k] riptide (canon!au)

[2/2 chapters, 13k]  you broke my heart (but i broke it myself) (jimin is marrying the wrong person!au lol)

[2/2 chapters, 19k]  wander (fantasy!au, nature!au, country-hotel!au, one of my favs too i cry everytime)

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dysfunctional-college-roommates  asked:

What if Andrew and Neil had a teammate named Nathan?

Objectively, Neil knew that this was going to happen. Maybe not this, but… Nathan is a common name. He knew he couldn’t avoid it for the rest of his life. It’s just that Neil thought he was better prepared to deal with it when it did, eventually, happen. For months after the Baltimore incident, Neil had been bombarded with his birth name and his father’s name. There had been a trial and endless interviews and more panic attacks and nightmares than Neil could count. He had thought that he would be numb to the name by now.

He was wrong

Andrew is at his head, holding him down by the back of his neck. Neil wants to run, but his legs are lead, they’re being held down - no, they’re not, are they?

Andrew,” he gasps, his fingernails claws curled into the floor of the court, hooked into the fabric of Andrew’s shorts. 

“Shut up,” Andrew says, pulling Neil closer by his jersey but keeping a grip on the back of Nathaniel’s neck. “Just shut up and breathe.”

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Being college roommates with Peter Parker would include

Done with the amAZING @purelyparker  

  • When you move in you walk into the dorm and the first person you see is Aunt May
  • She’s just folding all of Peter’s clothes and making his bed (doing Mom stuff)
  • Peter’s in the corner of the room like “Aunt Mayyyyyy” cause he’s annoyed by her doing everything but secretly loves it
  • When he sees you at the door he immediately drops what he’s doing and runs over to help you with your boxes
  • But he kinda trips
  • Cause his side of the room is still all messy
  • And so your first meeting is basically just him uncomfortably tackling you
  • “ohmygoshimsosorryareyouokayhereletmehelpyouwithyourthings”
  • May starts to leave and Peter gets all e m o t i o n a l
  • But he wants to seem tough so he tries to hold in his tears
  • As soon as she leaves though he’s a goner 
  • He starts BAWLING AW BABYY
  • You don’t really know what to do cause he’s just apologizing to you the whole time
  • Once he calms down a lil bit you go and sit with him and try to make him laugh
  • It works and he stops sniffling
  • “I’m just really gonna miss her”
  • After that he’s convinced he made an awful first impression 
  • Even though you found it really touching
  • But he does everything in his power to make you like him
  • He’ll come back to the dorm with an assortment of cookies
  • “I didn’t know which kind you liked”
  • You guys eat cookies and laugh and watch some tv while you set up your beds and stuff
  • He’s still convinced you hate him though :’(
  • He sees you brought a joke book and so he flips through it and tries to memorize the funny ones to weave into conversation
  • Like he actually tells knock-knock jokes when he knocks on the door
  • “Knock, knock!”
  • “Peter you can just come in”
  • “You’re supposed to say who’s there”
  • “Who’s there?”
  • “Disc”
  • “Disc who?”
  • “Disc is a recorded message…” *snicker*
  • You laugh a lil extra to make him feel better
  • Then he starts trying to impress you with like clique guy things
  • He legit prints out the Wikipedia page for “Football” 
  • The kid studies the page
  • So when you guys actually go to your college’s football game he cheers like the entire time even though he has 0 idea what’s going on
  • But that’s okay because you buy you guys pom poms and you both just cheer together and are just really cute
  • “Wait do you actually know what’s going on”
  • “No, Peter, I don’t like sports”
  • “Oh thank GOD
  • He quits the act and you can tell he’s a lot less squeamish around you
  • Okay okay but both of you hate going to class
  • You are both always, always late but you kiss up to the professor for each other so it’s okay
  • Sometimes you guys will take turns going to class
  • Your schedules are almost identical anyway
  • Peter will take notes in class and bring them back to you to copy if he heard that you went to bed really late the night before
  • He’ll actually turn your alarms off because he knows you need your sleep
  • If you fall asleep studying he’ll put a blanket over you
  • And then a pillow under your head
  • And just do so much to make you comfy that he’ll wake you up
  • “Peter what are you -”
  • “Shhh, shh, go back to sleep”
  • He’ll take selfies with you while you sleep though
  • Like pose with you and make stupid faces and all that cute stuff
  • He’ll draw mustaches on you
  • “If I can’t grow facial hair then you should be able to”
  • And then he’ll send them to you so that when you wake up you can see him giving you bunny ears while you druel on your paper
  • You actually find out about him being Spiderman within like the first couple weeks though
  • Cause he always swings aiming for your guys’ room but might end up crashing into someone else’s
  • Why do all the rooms have to look the same??”
  • He always accidentally puts his suit in with all of your laundry though so everything always shrinks and turns pink
  • But Peter actually has no clue how to do laundry
  • “Can’t I just send May my clothes? I can send yours too, if ya want”
  • “Peter we are not sending your aunt clothes to wash
  • He tries to use detergent once but puts way too much in and everything smells like soap for like four weeks
  • He doesn’t know how to go grocery shopping either
  • He’ll like send you pictures of stuff at the store cause he doesn’t know which brand mac and cheese to get you guys don’t even need mac and cheese
  • You try to help but he just is afraid he’ll mess it up so he comes home with like 17 boxes 
  • “Peter are those all mac and cheese boxes?”
  • “There were just so many - I chose the ones that looked the yummiest”
  • He ends up trying to cook the mac and cheese in the microwave in a plastic bowl without any water and a metal spoon
  • Soooo the fire alarm goes off and the whole building has to evactuate
  • He’s so careful about showering and stuff
  • He hates communal showers
  • “What if I get… like.. foot fungus?”
  • He’s so sweet about you showering so innocent
  • “Peter can you hand me some shampoo”
  • “Are you sure?”
  • “Peter I need shampoo”
  • He falls over everything because he was covering his eyes and shutting them
  • “Peter are you okay? What’s taking so long?”
  • “I fell in the toilet”
  • “You wh AT?”
  • Peter loves your girly shampoo
  • He uses it like every day but never wants to fess up to it
  • You totally realize you’re going through it a lot faster though but it’s okay because it makes his hair smell so good and he knows it
  • OKAY BUT PETER ASKS FOR GIRL HELP LIKE 25/7
  • Before he goes on a date he’ll buy like seven colognes and ask which one “gives off nice guy vibes”
  • “It’s cologne Peter, none of them do”
  • He’ll find your bras and thongs lying around sometimes and feel really bad when he does
  • Thongs confuse him so much though
  • “But… where does the… where does the butt go?”
  • Peter oh my gosh
  • One day he actually just asks “what are turn ons”
  • One time you guys tried kissing but vowed never to again because you’re friends
  • On your period he is so damn clique
  • Like buys you a bunch of ice cream and stuff
  • “What size, uh, tampons do you wear?”
  • “Peter did you go to the store just to get me tampons?”
  • “…Yeah, uh, about that, what do they look like? Like I know what they look like but what does the box look like?”
  • “Peter you don’t have to get me tampons I have plenty”
  • “But… what if you run out?”
  • On Valentine’s Day you guys will just chill in the dorm and pretend to be chocolate connoisseurs 
  • “Hmm this one tastes very… chocolatey” 
  • “Peter that’s the wrapper”
  • Whenever you go on dates Peter won’t let you walk home alone
  • “Peter it’s okay I’m like five minutes away” 
  • “But it’s - it’s dangerous. I don’t want you getting hurt.”
  • HES JUST TOO SWEET AND PROTECTIVE
  • Whenever he gets rejected by a girl he’ll just be super sad for the next couple of days
  • But you’ll just give him super long hugs and he’ll feel better
  • He actually loves rom coms but won’t fess up to it
  • You guys love watching shows together but can never agree on ships
  • “BUT THEY’RE SO PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER”
  • “Peter you’re WRONG”
  • “But looK AT HOW HE LOOKS AT HER
  • Peter being curious about your makeup so you give him a makeover once
  • “How do I look?”
  • “You look gorgeous”
  • “R-really?”
  • “No this was an awful idea”
  • Legit pillow fights ALL THE TIME
  • Sometimes you’ll be trying to work and he’ll just jump on the bed to try to distract you
  • “Peter will you stop jumping?
  • “YOU’VE BEEN WORKING FOR SO LONG”
  • You guys will 100% have Star Wars marathons after midterms
  • Then you’ll get all geeky and make another Lego Death Star to decorate your dorm
  • Also video-chatting Aunt May whenever possible
  • Peter will leave lil inspirational and positive post-it notes around everywhere when he sees you’re stressed or sad
  • You guys just care so much about each other it’s ridiculous
  • Peter always sleeps with a bear and a night light though because honestly he’s still just a little boy
  • Sometimes he’ll have really bad nightmares and you will get up to calm him down
  • He occasionally loses his bear too, so you serve as replacement
  • He loves being the little spoon
  • He’s memorized your coffee order and will go on a coffee run to help you during all-nighters
  • Also he knows your food order for literally every restaurant around you because you guys get take out 4/7 days of the week
  • Your guys’ favorite is Thai of course
  • Cause you larb each other
  • Oh yeah PUNS ALL THE TIME TOO
  • You steal his pun shirts because they’re just too pure
  • “Have you seen my telekinesis shirt?”
  • “Which one? Thiiiiis one?”
  • “THATS MINE YOU CANT JUST WEAR IT WHENEVER YOU WANT
  • But honestly you can wear it whenever cause Peter finds it endearing
  • Literally everything you do Peter finds endearing
  • And you for him
  • You guys are just the best
  • Best friends and just the. best.

anonymous asked:

deaf/HoH or blind sterek?

I see you, Nonny, sneaking multiple asks into one  :P  I do like these types of fics tho.  :P

Also:

anonymous said: Hii! Do you know any sterek fics where one of them or both are deaf, blind, or can’t speak? If you could put a mix of them in there that would be great (: thank you so much your amazing !         

This list fills your ask too, but also check out our mute!Stiles tag for those fics (cause this post is already kinda crazy long, lol).

Enjoy the fics!  -Emmy

First up:  Deaf

Originally posted by milena198702

(Ooooooh…he gives me Derek vibes :D )

Deaf!Derek

You Don’t Have to Hear Your Heartbeat to Feel It by redhoodedwolf

(1,186 I General I Complete)  *sterek, college au, TA!derek, college student!stiles

It took Stiles longer than he’d like to admit for him to discover his TA for Mythological Studies was deaf.

Little Gestures by Stereksale7

(1,976 I Teen I Complete)  *sterek, driver!derek

Derek is a deaf Uber driver.

He’s hardly thanked by his passengers, and when he is, it’s seldom genuine.

In comes Stiles Stilinski, who changes it all.

Give Me a Sign by WhichWolfWins

(2,215 I Explicit I Complete)   *sterek, loss of virginity

Stiles decides to learn sign language so he can communicate better with Derek and he ends up using it to communicate his feelings for him.

Laughter is the Best Medicine by literaryoblivion

(4,432 I Teen I Complete)  *sterek, human au, doctor!stiles

He hasn’t always been deaf.

Although, sometimes, he wishes he was. Mainly because he knows what he’s missing. He remembers what the rustle of the wind in the trees sounds like, remembers what kids playing in the playground sounded like, what laughter sounded like.

He misses it. A lot.

Speak to Me by Ember

(9,168 I Teen I Complete)

Derek became deaf from the fire that took his family long ago, and has refused to speak since. But when he is forced to speak in the court case of the woman who betrayed him long ago, he begrudgingly accepts the help of a newly graduated speech pathologist. Stiles, however, is about to teach a whole lot more.

Bones Straining Under the Weight by weathervaanes

(15,645 I Explicit I Complete)  *sterek, au, food blogger!derek

One of Stiles’ favorite things about life is Derek Hale’s food blog. He never expects to meet the man in person.

~

“Derek,” he says again, and the name feels very strange on his tongue. “You don’t mean Derek Hale.”

His professor’s eyebrows reach up, eyes widening. “You read his blog?”

“Uh. Worship. Would be a better more descriptive word. That is Derek Hale?”

Jimmy chuckles. “Good-looking guy, huh?”

“You mean to tell me the Food Network hasn’t snatched him up to dethrone everyone else from daytime TV.”

Jimmy smiles a small private smile. “I don’t think TV is his medium.”

Stiles raises an eyebrow. “Shy?”

The man laughs heartily at that. “No, I wouldn’t say that. He just has particular forms of expression, like eyebrows and chili powder.”

Counting to Infinity by artenon

(15,763 I Teen I Complete)  *sterek

When Derek goes deaf, he finds himself going to Stiles for help. Stiles does.

Want You To Shut Up (Even Though I Cannot Hear You) by ChairmanChurch

(19,487 I Mature I Complete)  *sterek, college au, roommates, alive hale family

“Wait, wait,” Scott scrutinized him suspiciously, “is all of this about the killer thing or just that you want to ogle at your roommate’s body?”

“No way, dude. I have my standards. Not the guy with eery green grey eyes, perfectly trimmed stubble and stupid bunny teeth.”

(Or the one in which Derek is deaf and Stiles doesn’t stop talking, and Isaac’s finally being helpful)


Deaf!Stiles

The Music Of your Body by GameCake

(2,389 I Teen I Complete)  *sterek, dancer!stiles

Derek inspected the paper with curiosity. It was a poster that seemed to be advertising a dancing event. There was a dancer in the middle, dressed in ballet clothes, body toned and hard, but the movement that was captured screamed smooth and melodic even from the picture.

I don’t understand. He signed with a frown.

It’s an invitation. I am one of the dancers in the group and I would like it if you came. Stiles replied nervously.

Hush by gryvon

(5,101 I General I Complete)  *scott/stiles, alive hale family

Scott becomes infatuated with Derek’s friend Stiles.

Heartbeats by lizleminem

(5,441 I Mature I Complete)  *scott/stiles

When they’re sixteen they steal some of Stiles’ dad’s alcohol. They’re a little tipsy when Stiles starts whining about how he’s still never kissed anyone. He makes a face and signs, “I’m sixteen, Scott. This is ridiculous. I’m gonna wither up and die before I ever kiss anyone.” His signing is a little loose and sloppy from the alcohol, and when he finishes he collapses backward on the bed, sighing like the world is crumbling around him.

Scott leans over him, rolls his eyes, and signs, “I’ll kiss you if it means you’ll shut up about it.”

Savagely Wicked by KrAuEd

(6,241 I Mature I Complete)   *sterek, model!stiles, nerd!derek, alive hale family

Stiles Stilinski, also known as the most famous model any underwear company has. He’s on billboards, magazines, covers of packaging. Anything and all. Most people say he’s popular just because he’s gay, others say it’s because he’s hot, or because he’s deaf. His life is busy and he works a lot, but it all changes when he meets Derek, a local man who treats him like a normal person.

(Previously known as ‘Really? That’s how you want to play?’)

Communication (And Lack Thereof) by impalagirl, wilddragonflying

(7,761 I Mature I Complete)  *sterek, proposals, weddings

Sheriff Stilinski has been waiting for this day for a long time. As he watches his visitor walking up the path, he thinks about everything that’s happened in the past year and his fingers twitch for his gun. But he can’t do that; he can’t shoot this man, as much as he might like to sometimes. Maybe he can go one worse, though.

Wild Tonic by officerstilinskihale

(11,010 I Mature I Complete)  *sterek

Stiles nodded and smiled again, his teeth flashing brightly and he signed something again, before looking frustrated with himself.

“You’re welcome,” Derek told him, feeling a wave of relief when Stiles’ face brightened. That would’ve been awkward if Stiles hadn’t been trying to say thank you.

“I had a really good time, so yeah. I’m glad you came with me,” he said, feeling his face grow hot. Derek wasn’t usually like this. He wasn’t confident. Sure, he had the looks and he could flirt shamelessly when he got hit on, but he always got shy around the people he genuinely liked, not that there was too many of those.

But Stiles didn’t let him dwell on that. He gripped Derek’s arm, grinned cheekily and pointed at himself before lifting two fingers. It took a while for Derek to get it but when he did, he couldn’t stop a smile from spreading across his face.

Me too.

And the Rest Was Silence by Reaping

(13,417 I Explicit I Complete)

April 16th: Noise

“Still can’t hear, go away.” He forms the words carefully, not sure how loud they are, but sure the wolves will get it.

Passing Notes to Say I Love You by AceLotti

(18,618 I Mature I Complete)  *sterek, college au

Love is Deaf. You can’t just tell someone you love them. You have to show them.

Silent by Handsofred

(28,313 I General I Complete)   *sterek, mates, kidnapped stiles

Alone, Stiles could feel the tiredness start to run through his body, the cuts on his body aching and other places hurting which made him wonder how they were hurting before he blinked a few times, eyes lifting towards the windows and the grey sky, Stiles hoped that the pack would find him. Slumping down in to the bonds, Stiles dropped his chin to his chest as tears gathered in his eyes, he felt scared for the first time since the car accident and he hated the fact that he couldn’t hear for anything which could creep up on him, hated that he couldn’t protect himself, squeezing his eyes shut tightly, Stiles tried to keep the tears away as he finally let the tiredness wash over him.

Silence is Loudest by codarra

(132,553 I Explicit I Complete)  *sterek, human au, sick!stiles, hurt!stiles, first time

Monday dawned fresh and cool and with a lack of Stilinski.

The buzz in the school changed over the week, once Derek started paying attention to it. No longer was the student body talking about where the students were going on vacation, or lack thereof for the more middle-class populace. They were bandying about a different series of words instead.

“Accident.”

“Car crash.”

“Hit and run.”

“Sick. Really sick.”

“Disease.”

“Brain damage.”

“Brain dead.”

“Stilinski.”

“Stilinski.”

“Stilinski.”

Blind

Originally posted by draikinator

Blind!Stiles

Blind Guy Walking Here by foodunderstandsme

(1,141 I Mature I Complete)  *sterek

Stiles could remeber the last thing he saw, it wasn’t the car that was about to hit him it was Derek Hale. Stiles is now Legally blind hiding his secret from his friends for Three years now their back and his life is turned upside down and all he can think about is Derek.

It’s Just Like You To Come And Go (series) by wednesdays

(2,469 I Teen I Series WIP)

Stiles is blind. Derek may or may not like him a little lot.

Blind Trust by FairyNiamh

(3,255 I General I Complete)  *sterek, high school au, human au

Derek hates his life, hates moving, and hates that some kid keeps staring at him.

I see You Better by theroguesgambit

(4,686 I Teen I Complete)

He dreams, sometimes, of his last moments of seeing.

At the church in Mexico, Stiles is blinded by a Berserker. Derek uses his new wolf status to act as a guide dog, while Stiles adjusts to his new reality.

In the Darkness by Boy On Strings

(7,817 I Mature I Complete) *sterek

Stiles is blinded in the final showdown with the Alpha, Derek tries to comfort him after realizing he almost lost something forever.

Can’t Stay Away by mommymuffin

(10,689 I Not Rated I Complete)  *sterek, magic!stiles, mutilation

“It’s really quite simple, Derek,” Deucalion drawls. “You pick one to kill tonight, you kill the rest later, you become part of my pack.”

“And if I refuse?” Derek growls.

“We’ll kill one of them anyway.”

Heretics and Bastards by JusticeBanana

(13,229 I Mature I WIP)  *steter, historical au, medieval au, nobleman!peter, magic!stiles

Peter is sick of court and the drama it entails. His sister is creating a life for her and her children in a new and promising land that Peter finds cold and horrid. Soon he is dragged into something much bigger than himself and the usual royal court happenings. This boy he thinks he failed to keep from harm may not be safe but he is alive.

Love is Blind by super_queer

(14,238 I Not Rated I Complete)  *major character death, sterek, werewolf!stiles, alpha!stiles

Stiles loses his sight in a terrible accident, but Derek is determined to give him a good life regardless.

Sinking Like a Stone by iamnightbird

(20,012 I Mature I Complete)  *sterek

Derek Hale is convinced he can protect his pack from anything. Kanimas, other packs, even the supernatural that remain myths (like demons and the such), but an event hits him like a punch to the gut to remind him that the things he can’t protect his pack from are the everyday horrors in which life makes us her bitch. [Blind!Stiles]

What Big Eyes You Have (Series) by A_Lesbian_With_Pink_Hair

(20,978 I G-E I Complete)  *sterek, mates

An AU ‘verse in which Stiles is born blind and is Derek’s mate. The rest of the world is just going to have to adjust accordingly because if you think that’s going to stop the boy who runs with wolves, you are horrendously mistaken.

Serendipity by mynamjo

(45,141 I Explicit I Complete)   *sterek, artist!derek, magic!stiles, florist!stiles

Derek moves back to Beacon Hills to open up his new art gallery when he meets a blind boy who won’t leave him alone.

Cornerstone by Vendelin

(83,738 I Explicit I Complete)  *sterek, marine!derek, ptsd!derek, human au

Suffering from PTSD, ex-Marine Derek Hale moves back to Beacon Hills to open a bookshop and find a calmer life. That’s where he meets Stiles, completely by accident. Stiles is talkative, charming and curious. Somehow, despite the fact that he’s blind, he’s able to read Derek like no one else.

He Sees Me For Me by Karlarado

(23,999 I Not Rated I WIP)  *sterek, dad!derek

Derek and his adopted daughter move to Beacon Hills to try and start up a normal life. They meet Stiles in a park with his service/seeing-eye dog and while Malia bonds with the dog, Derek ends up bonding with Stiles.

Windows by dr_girlfriend

(83,015 I Explicit I Complete)  *sterek

Derek has a new neighbor who won’t stop looking.

Blind!Derek

Definitely Actually a Love Story by saltyavocado (rainglazed) 

(2,057 I General I Complete)  *sterek, Scott and Derek are brothers

Second and final part to the Bigbro!Derek verse.

The Colors of the Rainbow by MagnusBanewood 

(3,425 I Not Rated I Complete)  *sterek

When Derek arrives at his new high school he is afraid that people will make fun of him again. But then he meets Stiles and slowly falls in love with his voice.

Feeling You by secretfanboy 

(6,158 I Teen I Complete)  *sterek,

When Derek loses his sight and hearing saving Scott from an attack, the Stilinski’s take him in.  As nurse and patient Stiles and Derek grow closer, but what will happen when Derek gets better?  Will Stiles be left with a broken heart?

On the Social Dimension of Disability: “I don’t think of you that way.”

I can’t count the amount of people who have said some variation of “I don’t think of you that way” when it comes up that I’m disabled.

Disability (n.):  a physical or mental condition that limits a person’s movements, senses, or activities.

I have permanent paralysis in my shoulder, arm, and hand from an injury to my brachial plexus. My range of motion in that arm is about 40% of what a typical, uninjured arm would be, not to mention my underdeveloped strength, dislocated shoulder, and the resulting scoliosis. I could go on. Based on the simplest, literal definition, I am definitely disabled, because at the very least, compared with a typical body, my movements are limited.*

So, why am I always hearing “I don’t think of you that way”? 

Often a person says it to relieve their own social discomfort or cognitive dissonance, either because I’ve self-identified as disabled or because they’ve said something disparaging about disabled people. Examples:

  • My boyfriend’s mom says she has “crippling self-doubt.” My boyfriend says, “bad word choice,” gesturing to me. She does a double take, looks my way, and says “Oh, I’m sorry, it didn’t occur to me because I don’t see you that way.”
  • My college roommate and I are chatting and I mention, in a neutral tone, that I am disabled. In the voice of someone finally expressing something that’s been bothering her, she says “I don’t know why you think of yourself that way. I don’t think of you that way.”

In the first example, my boyfriend’s mom uses “crippling,” (cripple (n.): a person who is partially or totally unable to use one or more limbs) as shorthand to say that her self-doubt prevents her from normal activities, or at least from the activities she’d prefer to take part in. When my boyfriend points out that this metaphor implies physical disability (such as mine) necessarily means abnormal, negative, or useless, she experiences discomfort. She relieves it by saying, “I don’t think of you that way,” preserving the abnormal, negative, or useless associations in her head with physical disability. Because she sees me as normal, useful, productive, I must not be disabled. The definition of disability shifts from a value-neutral description of physical or mental difference to a negative social role, in order to exclude me.

In the second example, my roommate does something similar. Although I don’t express sadness or anger when calling myself disabled, it makes her upset, and she pushes back. That’s because, rather than seeing disability as a value-neutral physical or mental difference, she sees it as a negative social role. In her mind, by self-identifying this way, I’m insulting myself.

The problem with both these lines of logic is twofold:

  • The definition of disability shifts at will in order to protect the nondisabled person’s perception of disability as a negative attribute.
  • Inclusion and exclusion into this social role shifts at will in order to protect the nondisabled person’s perception of disability as a negative attribute and attitude toward disabled people that they do “think of that way.”

If I’m not disabled, then I have no way to explain why I was told not to become a lifeguard, or why men routinely refuse to date me because my “arm is just too weird,” or why strangers approach me to tell me how great it is that I’m out living life. I lose out on putting a name to these negative experiences (which is a necessary part of healing from them and fighting back) in order to protect nondisabled people’s shifting definition of disability.

Worse still, if I’m not disabled, then disabled people are just the faceless, abnormal, negative, useless Other. If, as soon as a person because a valued figure in your life, they’re excluded from that group, it is far too easy to dehumanize, objectify, and disenfranchise that group. 


*I wouldn’t trade that limitation of movement for the world, as it’s caused me to develop an interesting set of physical skills that nondisabled people lack along with character traits that are integral to my personality. But that’s for a different post.