Today I talked with my professor, a truly wise woman with decades of experience in theatre.
She’s told me that she noticed that when I perform I try to please her and other professors. She told me it’s bullshit and I must stop doing that if I want to make progress.
Time of education - she said- whether you pay for it or not, is your laboratory. This is the time and space for you to find out things - what you can and can’t do, what you want, who you are.You may and you WILL fuck up, but that’s ok. You’re still learning, you’re growing, and you have to communicate with the world to do so.
She’s said she’s 70, and she’s still learning. Sometimes she stays at home all day eating chocolate, falling asleep, eating more chocolate, calling her friends who don’t pick up bc they’re too busy. Sometimes she fucks up too. And that’s fine. You have to get bad things, to learn what is good
You must eat junk food to know it’s better to get veggies. You must stay at home to go out. You must be alone to feel a difference when you’re with people.
I for example, did an utterly shit project last week and the cringe is real. But she said - girl, it was shit. But now you know what to correct. And if you don’t want to - screw it. Start a new project. With new rules, new world, new mind. Every day you can reinvent yourself.
anyway, I’m only repeating what she said. she knows her stuff tho. real inspo. will throw in some more later.
Since my manager is in the hospital I didn’t have work today. I got up early and went to Target with my best friend, and then we spent the rest of the day studying in my apartment. We studied quietly and alone for a little while until my roommates woke up and came into the living room to do homework with us. Even though our kitchen table got pretty cluttered, it was kind of refreshing to be able to sit back and see all the productivity.
We started planning a spring break trip to Maine and somewhere along the way we ended up sharing stories of good winters and sledding incidents from when we were younger. It was a really good day, and I was glad to have extra time to get work done.
Last week I didn’t work out as much as I wanted to and I didn’t eat very healthy. Even though I was already down emotionally, not maintaining my health didn’t help with my mood either. This week I’m hoping to get back on track and find my balance again.
science: classical music is good for your concentration while studying!
classical musicians: *practice fingerings along with the recording, procrastinate by googling the piece and the performer and analysing his/her playing, do the simultaneously-laugh-in-amazement-and-cry-uncontrollably-because-their-playing-is-so-good-and-so-much-better-than-mine thing* hmm yes concentration
High School English Teachers: This is how you interpret it. This is how it is. Explain why it’s like that. That’s what that means. Annotate the text. I’m going to be very particular about this.
College English Professors: What is your interpretation? Why? Question that. Question everything. Question what I’m telling you right now. Question your own thoughts. Question my thoughts. I don’t know everything. Nothing is certain. F*ck. Just do the reading. I don’t care if you annotate or not. Just prove you’re using your brain. Say something! Sh*t I’m tired of you being quiet. Participation is 20% of your grade you know.