college isn't helping me

Yes, mom, I’m fine.

The 8th graders today were especially mean, and they told me to kill myself, but i’m fine. Maybe I’ll make a friend tomorrow.

Yes, mom, i’m fine. I just looked in the mirror too long this morning and can’t stop thinking about everything I didn’t like. Maybe if you let me wear makeup I would like it more.

Yes, mom, i’m fine. Someone threw a football at my back and a girl told me my favorite dress makes me look pregnant today, but I guess I was getting too old for it anyway.

yes, mom, i’m fine. I just beat myself up a little in the shower this morning. The bruises aren’t too bad so I don’t think it really matters.

yes, mom, i’m fine. I don’t really feel like getting out of bed, and everything feels heavy, but I think its because there’s a lot of drama going on, that’s all.

Yes, mom. i’m fine. You called me on my phone as I was standing in the middle of the road watching headlights in front of me, but I was more afraid of you finding out than dying, so I answered.

yes, mom, i’m fine. I haven’t eaten in a week and I can’t seem to walk very fast without getting winded, but I think it’s just because it’s so hot out.

yes, mom, i’m fine. I don’t talk much because I don’t have the energy to try, but i’m just tired, that’s all.

yes, mom, i’m fine. I just cut 9 lines into my thigh and blood is seeping through my pants, and i’m a little scared this time, but i’ll be more careful next time and it should be alright.

Yes, mom, i’m fine. I had to pull over on the side of the road today on the way home from school because I was afraid I would drive myself right off the off ramp on our exit, but it’s okay now; I made it home.

Yes, mom, i’m fine. My therapist gave me the number for a suicide hotline in front of you today, and you asked if I really needed it. When we got home, you yelled at me until we were both crying, but I don’t think you meant it.

yes, mom, i’m fine.” you called me today while I sat in my college dorm room. didn’t tell you I relapsed last night and haven’t left my room in four days but I think it’s just a phase. i’m fine.

12.10.16 // I need to stop lying 

  • <p> <b><p></b> <b>me:</b> *looks up simon snow fanfic* lol there's so much snowbaz out there did people actually write it omg haha<p/><b>me:</b> lol look at this one it's only 400 words haha let's see what this is all about *clicks ironically*<p/><b>me:</b> lol look at this one it's only 1000 words *clicks ironically*<p/><b>me:</b> lol look at this one it's only 4000 words *CLICKS IRONICALLY*<p/><b>me:</b> LOL LOOK AT THIS 1000 WORD PWP I JUST WROTE IN UNDER AN HOUR HAHA *IRONICALLY*<p/></p><p/></p>