collecting advice

10

bernie wolfe + @ao3tagoftheday (2/?)

bonus:

Tag Yourself (Archangel Edition)

My kale

-the Mom Friend™
-bossy
-judges everyone
-always looks calm and collected
-internally scrEAMING
-gets advice from cracker jack boxes

Lose-ifer

-annoying
-needs attention 24/7 for survival
-has never once used an ‘indoor voice’, probably has never heard of the concept
-the Vodka Aunt™
-has a sarcastic comment for EvERYTHiNG
-thinks they’re hot stuff

Ra-fail

-has no time for your shit
-the voice of reason
-the Smartest™
-constantly ignored
-Will beat u up in a dirty ally for looking at them the wrong way
-likes wearing dresses and makeup

Gaybriel

-Smol™
-will fight u
-makes fun of inappropriate things
-randomly giggles at stuff they saw 3 years ago
-actual anime character
-thinks playing dead is cool

anonymous asked:

so, ive been wondering if i actually have alters for a long time... how would i know?

when looking at DID you shouldn’t start at the alters and work towards the disorder, you gotta start with the disorder and then work to the alters.

start simple. do you experience dissociation? what kind of dissociation? what occurs in the time you are dissociating? how much control of your actions do you have during the time you are dissociating? does the dissociation impair your functioning in some way? when dissociating, do you exereince amnesia of the events that occured? during those events, “who were you”? where observed behaviors different somehow? if so do those behaviors have unique identities? if you dont have amnesia, how aware and in control are you? do those episodes have different behaviors that indicate different identites? have you eliminated drugs and alcohol as contributers to behaivors? have you eliminated other psych disorders, neurological damage, seizures, and abnormalities in the brain?

and then you start figuring out who your alters are

maybe you figured out there are people in your head, but you dont fit the other things, in that case they aren’t alters and there are different words and communities for that.

maybe you fit the symptoms but have misunderstood an overlap with a personality disorder and dissociation

etc etc i could go on but the core idea is that you have to look not for alters, but for symptoms. i dont consider alters “symptoms” rather “a diagnostic requirement” but that could be a matter of philosophy.

also talk it through with a professional, a friend, and a trusted adult if you can. do research on the disorder, not the alters. you may find that you have something that presents similarly but isnt DID ya know?

Submissions for Podcast for+by PoC & QPoC

Hey !!! This is Orion, also peachedcheeks, and I wanted to try to start a podcast for those like myself. I’m pan, trans, and I have depression (for like the past 4 years) and other mental disorders, and often I feel hopeless. So, I wanted to create a podcast that combines the experiences of those that have gone through any difficulties and how they’ve gotten through it. I want to make this so that others that are in situations like myself are able to feel more confident in their futures and that they are able to get through trying times. 

Here is a link with tons more info with more background, requirements, and recommendations: 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OksDCuCHj8YBaIn6jGJHE-18oMSpic5kqtNz26g-BQk/edit?usp=sharing

and if you have questions or anything, DM me here or send an email to:
voicesoftheliving@gmail.com

I’m hoping to get at least +5 submissions (I’m taking submissions till the end of February).  I’m also really hoping that this will grow and be made into a network for people in need. 

There will possibly be a spotlight for stuff like poetry and short stories, spanning 20 minutes each month. 

This will be updated weekly, every Wednesday. 

Additionally, this is directed to PoC (that are mentally ill, experienced homelessness, are of the LGBTQIA+, disabled, etc.) so if you’re a yt…. .. … … . .…… … . .you should catch my drift ;-)

Thank you for even looking at this ! And thank you to those that have contacted me !!! I want to be able to help people that are going through stuff like what I’m going through and I thought that this would help. 

When it comes to rape, sexual assault and rape culture - what do you think men should and could do to fight it (besides “don’t rape”, which sadly isn’t that obvious to many men …)? Can they join the fight in any other way than “don’t perpetrate the violence”? What should they know and be aware of? What need they learn? I’m still trying to collect input and advice from as many women as possible, so, please share if you have any.

honestly DID/OSDD1 lesson #1 and tbh the most important lesson

DONT FORCE YOUR SYSTEM TO DO ANYTHING. not only will it not work, it will probably backfire! 

dont force dormant alters to be present and present alters to be dormant. dont force host changes. dont force hidden alters to reveal themselves.

dont be forceful! force used against you is what forced your system into being in the first place. why would it solve problems?

lesson #2 tho

just……freaking……communicate. talk to each other. ask each other questions, appreciate the answers, keep notes. thats how you solve problems.

give yourselves the opportunity to communicate you never had before.

5

On the sixth day of christmas my true love gave to me

(a) six foot tall russian

five volleyballsfour seijou darlings, three ugly sweaters, two stupid volleybirbs & the greatest brotp


((pls click thru bc bonus is hard to read otherwise ))

instagram

How to break up with someone 101 #NoFrauds @nickiminaj

Made with Instagram

anonymous asked:

Do you have any advice for would-be rogues who wish to flirt with the fairer sex? In character and/or in real life?

Ah, you came to the right place.

First, never refer to women as “the fairer sex”, it makes you sound like a Victorian time traveller, but without any of the excitement normally attached to time travel.

Second, remember when I said you came to the right place?

There is no right place. There is no right way. Women, strangely enough, are not a hive mind. We’re all different, with different tastes, priorities, turn-ons and turn-offs. The only thing you can do is approach each case individually, and figure out what this specific person might be interested in.

Go get'em, tiger.

anonymous asked:

this might seem dumb but i trust you as a did resource. what's your outlook on alters who arent fictives and claim to be a race different than the body?

for the record, im not really a fantastic resource im p much just parroting info from did-research.org and traumadissociation.com.

alters cant control what race they are. its actually pretty normal and logical for an alter to ID as a different race than the body because most alters develop to be NOT the body that is dealing with trauma. heck, most kids don’t fully grasp race so when alters are forming sometimes the only criteria for formation is “not me.” alters are also shaped by the environment and context of the traumas and roles they fill and for that reason, can be any race.

that being said, it is important for the system as a whole to make sure that alters are not invading spaces that are not socially theres. an alter that identifies as a person of color but is in a white body should not be leading discussions about racial privilege from the perspective of their internally perceived race since they still benefit from being white. they should approach discussions and situations about race from the perspective of a white bodied individual since that is how the world perceives them and it would be disrespectful to the struggles of others to claim that their internal race carries the the same social weight as others’ external race.

HOWEVER, some alters are not in a state which they can perceive that their internal and external race do not match, specifically trauma holding, young, emotionally overloaded, and programed alters. these aren’t really the ones you’re going to run into online that often though. confronting them about how their internal and external bodies do not match will probably not go well at all and would be about as affective as telling a dog alter that they are a human.

also like….i just….wish people would be nice??? like sympathy from alters to realize there are spaces they shouldnt intrude in and also sympathy from others to understand that some mentally ill individuals may not be able to understand complex issues while in certain states of mind. like i wish ppl would be kind and understanding instead of setting up walls and attacking each other when the major issue stems from misunderstanding

(i am white and if i have spoken poorly here please let me know. i am repeating information i have learned from many sources mixed with my own opinions that are based on research. several alters in this system identify as other races and/or internally present as non-white, but we as a whole do not intrude in spaces the body does not belong in.)

A Beginner’s Guide to Prepping for Print

The Studioblr Collective | September 23rd, 2016

One of the most intimidating aspects of graphic design I was introduced to in school was preparing and sending my work to print. Before university I was used to just printing things as is on my tiny home printer or the closest photo studio, but in just the first month alone we were introduced to the so much new info on how to make sure our designs actually look like how we want them to.

Your graphics, typography, layouts etc may be amazing but they will all be rather ruined if the printed product comes out looking nothing like you want and there’s sadly no undo option for a bad print job.

CMYK not RGB:  A lot of the colours one creates in RGB are not achievable using standard four-colour process printing. In Photoshop you can easily switch to this mode via the Image>mode>CMYK color menu command to give you a more accurate representation of how your colours will print; but, it is always best to create your document from the start in CMYK colour mode to ensure you have a better idea of how your colours are going to print.

Resolution: Make sure all graphics in your print layout are sufficient quality for printing. 300 DPI is the preferred minimum resolution for print graphics. When working with low resolution images that cannot be avoided, lowering the scale of the image improves the quality slightly.

Print Layout: Used extensively in programs like InDesign:

  1. Trim Line: The finished size of the piece.
  2. Live Area: The area that is considered safe to keep any important information within ( if a graphics trim size in 8.25” x 10.25”, the live area might be 7.27” x 9.75”, this takes into consideration binding if the page is placed on the left or right of a spread, since you don’t want the graphic to be cut-off)
  3. Bleed Area: While the minimum bleed areas for a printed piece is 0.125” (⅛ of an inch), you may sometimes be required to use more than that. The bleed allows for elements at the edge of the live area to be extended out so as to ensure there is no space between where the graphic ends and where the paper is cut.
  4. Crop Marks: Indicates where to cut the paper.

File Formats: While most printers will accept multiple formats like TIFF and PDF, save all your files as PDF when handing them over to compress file sizes.

Rich Black vs 100K Black: When printing in colour, there are two different shades of black you can use:

  • Black – 100 K: Can be used for body copy and barcodes (looks a bit washed out in large blocks of print)
  • Rich Black – 40 C 40 M 40 Y 100 K: Should be used when using blocks of black

Ensure all instances of the colour black that is used, are accurate especially when printing large areas of the colour; whether using rich black or grey scale black, ensure objects are correct. For Adobe products, change the preferences to always display and always output blacks accurately.  (This is hard to see on your monitor as RGB screens show colours more vibrantly, test prints are always important for things like this.)

Photoshop:

  • In general, Photoshop usually only requires you to ensure the document is the proper resolution and the color profile is correct.
  • For high resolution prints, 600 PPI is ideal while 300-350 PPI should be the minimum.
  • If using filters or items which require RGB mode, then work in RGB and convert to CMYK as the final step before outputting the image. This step is dependent upon proper color settings.

InDesign:

  • Ensure your preferences are set to display and output blacks correctly.
  • Ensure you have proper bleeds for your document.
  • Try not to do any major adjustments to placed raster images (images that are not vector), they should be 100% and should not be rotated within InDesign. A minor adjustment may not cause issues, however large rotations and scaling of placed raster images can affect the output of those images.
  • Preflight! Preflight is the industry-standard term for quality checking your document before exporting and handing it off to your printer. InDesign’s Preflight panel helps by warning the user of problems that can prevent a book or document from printing or outputting as desired. Make sure to run this before exporting a files to check for missing fonts or files, RGB issues, over set text, low-resolution images and other various conditions. You can find Preflight in Window > Output > Preflight.

Illustrator

  • Create File in CMYK colour mode.
  • Ensure you have proper bleeds for your document.
  • Add Guides to show trim area or crop marks.
  • Rasterize all type.



Written by @herttz

Designed by @herttz

Recommended books (Inspiration)

Here are some of the books you guys recommended to me. Thank you very much for everyones recommendations i will definitely give them all a read! 

1. Soul Surfer: A True Story of Faith, Family, and Fighting to Get Back on the Board - Bethany Hamilton  
Recommended by @lightinthebottle

They say Bethany Hamilton has saltwater in her veins. How else could one explain the passion that drives her to surf? How else could one explain that nothing—not even the loss of her arm—could come between her and the waves? That Halloween morning in Kauai, Hawaii, Bethany responded to the shark’s stealth attack with the calm of a girl with God on her side. Pushing pain and panic aside, she began to paddle with one arm, focusing on a single thought: “Get to the beach….” And when the first thing Bethany wanted to know after surgery was “When can I surf again?” it became clear that her spirit and determination were part of a greater story—a tale of courage and faith that this soft-spoken girl would come to share with the world.

Soul Surfer is a moving account of Bethany’s life as a young surfer, her recovery after the attack, the adjustments she’s made to her unique surfing style, her unprecedented bid for a top showing in the World Surfing Championships, and, most fundamentally, her belief in God. It is a story of girl power and spiritual grit that shows the body is no more essential to surfing—perhaps even less so—than the soul.

GoodReads Review, 4.09/5 stars


2. Infinite Self: 33 Steps To Reclaiming Your Inner Power - Stuart Wilde
Recommended by @velumos

In Infinite Self, Stuart Wilde, one of the most profound and original thinkers of our time, shows you how to consolidate your inherent power and transcend all limitations by releasing yourself from the constraints of the ego. The simple yet powerful concepts contained in this revolutionary book will take you from the world of ego, superficiality, and illusion to the higher spirituality of your Infinite Self. One of the 33 Steps to Reclaiming Your Inner Power: STEP 19: The Power Rises from Within - The harder you try, the harder you struggle. It’s wiser to let things come naturally. The power you have is like a magnetic force. You can pull to you whatever you want. In pushing, you tend to move things away from you!

Wilde teaches readers how to consolidate their inherent power and transcend all limitations by releasing themselves from the constraints of their egos. Ego traps the individual, according to Wilde, and it is never happy for long, always wanting more, whether it’s a new job, new relationship, or bigger bank account.

GoodReads Review 4.32/5 stars


3. How to win friends and influence people - Dale Carnegie 
Recommended by @salimcg

You can go after the job you want…and get it! You can take the job you have…and improve it! You can take any situation you’re in…and make it work for you!

Since its release in 1936, How to Win Friends and Influence People has sold more than 15 million copies. Dale Carnegie’s first book is a timeless bestseller, packed with rock-solid advice that has carried thousands of now famous people up the ladder of success in their business and personal lives.

As relevant as ever before, Dale Carnegie’s principles endure, and will help you achieve your maximum potential in the complex and competitive modern age.

Learn the six ways to make people like you, the twelve ways to win people to your way of thinking, and the nine ways to change people without arousing resentment. 

GoodReads review 4.13/5 stars


4. Thirty: A Collection of Personal Quotes, Advice, and Lessons -  Emily Maroutian 
Recommended by @kush-master

Thirty is a collection of more than two hundred and thirty quotes, advice, and lessons composed by writer, philosopher Emily Maroutian. The majority of the work was written within her thirtieth year and is packed with reflective wisdom and observations gathered over decades. With topics ranging from relationships, the nature of reality, beliefs, purpose, life, and much more, every reader is bound to find some value from this collection.
The book is designed to be highlighted, bookmarked, and shared. Feel free to rip out its pages and put them up where they can better serve you. 

GoodReads Review 5/5 Stars 


5. The Little Paris Bookshop - Nina George 
Recommended by @sloth-lost 

“There are books that are suitable for a million people, others for only a hundred. There are even remedies—I mean books—that were written for one person only…A book is both medic and medicine at once. It makes a diagnosis as well as offering therapy. Putting the right novels to the appropriate ailments: that’s how I sell books.”

Monsieur Perdu calls himself a literary apothecary. From his floating bookstore in a barge on the Seine, he prescribes novels for the hardships of life. Using his intuitive feel for the exact book a reader needs, Perdu mends broken hearts and souls. The only person he can’t seem to heal through literature is himself; he’s still haunted by heartbreak after his great love disappeared. She left him with only a letter, which he has never opened.

After Perdu is finally tempted to read the letter, he hauls anchor and departs on a mission to the south of France, hoping to make peace with his loss and discover the end of the story. Joined by a bestselling but blocked author and a lovelorn Italian chef, Perdu travels along the country’s rivers, dispensing his wisdom and his books, showing that the literary world can take the human soul on a journey to heal itself.

Internationally bestselling and filled with warmth and adventure, The Little Paris Bookshop is a love letter to books, meant for anyone who believes in the power of stories to shape people’s lives. 

GoodReads review 3.5/5 stars


Again thank you so much for your recommendations, just in reading these reviews i am already planning on going book hunting for them! 

Please continue to send me through some books as i really enjoy hearing about what books you are all inspired by :) 


Cait xx 

anonymous asked:

Are there any signs when a new alter is forming? We know there has to be something that causes a new alter to form. But how do you if something like that is actually causing a new alter or if the system handled it well enough? If that makes sense.

@real-did answered this here by saying 

“Dissociating heavily is a possible sign, as well as sensing an unfamiliar presence or losing more time that can’t be accounted for by another alter.”

which is a pretty solid answer and I couldnt phrase that better so I had to quote.

I would also add that the last two splits in this system, behavior of main fronters changed drastically for a short period of time (during the traumas) and then the behavior disappeared shortly only to reappear through a different alter. The new alter also was not distinct and sure of their identity for weeks following. 

I think the only way to tell is to wait, unfortunately. Keep checking on Internal activity and keep focusing on communication. Answers will come with time.

This is also something that will vary system to system and split to split.

Clingy

Anon prompt: “Can you do one where the reader and Jughead are already dating and they are super clingy.”

A/N: I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack

“Y/N, you didn’t call me when your class finished.” Jughead says, catching up to me in the halls.

“Because it just finished.” I stop at my locker, opening it to put my books inside and get out another text book for my next class.

“You said you’d call after every class.” He pushes, watching me.

“Jughead,” I close my locker, turning to him. “I told you, it just finished and my phone is swimming in my bag somewhere. I’m sorry.”

He’s leaning against one of the other lockers, staring at me in disbelief, “Look, Y/N, next time just call me, okay?”

“It’s school, Juggie. Nothing bad is going to happen to me at school.”

“You don’t know that.” He says, tilting his head to the side.

Keep reading

jukeboxx-and-wrekkord  asked:

I'm currently working on a "care packet" for my friend, as he will become my eventual caretaker. It sounds condescending so far but if I don't write it things could be a lot harder. I wish writing "how to take care of your DID diagnosed friend" was easier :/

One thing I did back when I first discovered the alters and was switching frequently and occationaly while on skype calls with friends was a “guide”

It would list the alter, a few defining traits like how they sit or talk, something that would signal they were out if they didnt announce themselves. It would list age and pronouns, gender, strong symptoms they experience, etc.

Then for each alter there would be a Guide. like. if they front and are calm, here are some things they enjoy doing and where those things are. if they are upset, heres what you should say and how you should handle it and things you can distract them with. if they are violent do this, if they are traumatized do that, if they are sobbing give them whatever etc etc

most of the notes i wrote didnt need to be used, but when a little butted in a skype call, my friend knew to send her links to a doll website where she could play safely and keep her distracted until i came back.

include yourself too. sometiems when dissociated, rationality isnt primariy.

anonymous asked:

What are your favorite podcasts? I've recently gotten into them with Dear Hank and John, but I always want more amazing podcasts to listen to.

YES

i got you. 

here are my favorites:

psychobabble: if you’re into hank & john, i’m guessing you like youtube? this one is hosted by tyler oakley and korey kuhl- they are HILARIOUS and have had me full-on cackling in public.  the episodes aren’t that long, like a half hour or so each, so it’s pretty easy to get into. episode 45, trash talking turtles, kills me every time. if you listen to the show too much you’ll start talking just like them. 

ladies who lunch: another youtuber podcast. but you definitely don’t have to watch their videos to love this show. hosted by ingrid nilsen and kat valdez- two women talking openly and honestly about their lives and their experiences. their topics range from mental health, navigating family relationships, honesty within friendships, pollitics, spirituality, and a bunch more. listening to this makes you feel like you’re doing something good for your well-being and it’s such a comfort. 

gilmore guys: this one is kind of specific, but if you like the show gilmore girls, you should definitely listen to it. it has made me indescribably happy to hear people earnestly discuss one of my favorite shows in such depth. they go through every episode of the show- all 7 seasons plus the netflix revival. episodes are long as fuck (like 3 hours usually) which is why i love having it on in the background while doing life things. it’s made me laugh a bunch and made me feel even more connected to the show & characters. 

dear sugar: hosted by writers cheryl strayed and steve almond. beautiful and wise show where the hosts read letters written by listeners and give advice. no topic is off limits. it makes me feel connected to the world & has for sure helped me through some tough times. and it inspired me to read cheryl strayed’s book tiny beautiful things, a collection of advice columns she’s written. so SO good. my desert island book. 

comedy bang bang: this has been my constant companion for like two years straight. it’s made me laugh so, so hard and given me an appreciation for comedy in general. it’s just a silly improv show in the form of long interviews. the host, scott aukerman, has had some pretty well-known comedians on there (like nick kroll, amy poehler, ben schwartz), and some that i only know from the podcast world (like lauren lapkus oh my god she is so funny). the comedy bang bang tv show is also really really funny. 

my brother, my brother, and me: i can’t believe how long it took me to really check out this show. i just started listening like two weeks ago and it’s quickly become my absolute favorite. it’s an advice show hosted by three brothers- it’s crazy funny, and sometimes genuinely sweet? it’s great. it’s so great. please listen to it. some people recommend starting all the way from the beginning, but i’d start with the newer stuff (in the old days they were a little less woke. but one of the best things about their show now is how inclusive and open-minded they are!) also, you will 100% adopt their vocabulary. i’m so happy this good good podcast has come into my life. also you should listen to the adventure zone! also hosted by them. also great.


YAY PODCASTS 

best friends to lovers: kino
  • okay so hyunggu is so the best friend to lover type
  • probably the type to fall pretty hard for someone and since you’re his best friend, he falls even harder bc he sees you everyday and also bc you’re probably joined at the hip
  • at first, he’d probably question what the new feeling towards you was and when he’d finally understand what it was, he’d kinda repress it
  • repressing his true feelings would be kinda hard bc he would want you to know how he feels as soon as possible but he would kinda know that he should probably wait a bit
  • the whole not dating bc it would ruin your friendship wouldn’t even cross his mind bc he knows that wouldn’t happen, like, you may not date forever but you’d still be friends due to how close you’d be as best friends
  • and in a way, waiting to tell you would only make him like you even more bc he’d watch you closely to take in your reactions and mannerisms and he’d kinda learn more about you bc he’d see you in a new perspective
  • would probably be kinda shy around you but he’d still be his usual self, he’d just think about his and your actions a lot
  • so yeah after thinking things over, he’d probably ask you to hang out like any other time (or so you think) but it’d be different for hyunggu bc he wouldn’t be as spontaneous as he usually was
  • and maybe in the midst of hanging out, you have to leave for some reason and he’d kinda panic bc that wasn’t supposed to happen and he’d just blurt it out which would suck bc all of the advice he collected from shinwon went to waste
  • he’d probably be looking at the ground after he confessed bc he’d be kinda embarrassed so he wouldn’t notice you walking closer to him and then your lips would press to the corner of his bc a cheek kiss wouldn’t suffice
  • and once you’d explain to him that you felt the same he’d be back to his usual self and would ask you on an actual date and would probably ask for a real kiss with a grin on his face and you’d comply but then you’d both remember that you have to go so it’s still not an actual kiss but it’s cool bc soon you’d be a thing
  • best friend to lover hyunggu wouldn’t be all that different. he’d still be his fun, adorable self around you and since your friendship was probably strong, the transition would be smooth. so, you’d go on lots of cute dates with your best friend bc nothing would really change besides being able to kiss each other so it’s all very cute