BLACKDONALD(listen.) he wishes he could just bend down and place feathery kisses all over her skin
young folks, peter bjorn and john
5 years time, noah and the whale
the way of mary, the night cafe
heartache, relient k
stubborn love, the lumineers
the bird and the worm, owl city
collapsible lung, relient k
flower, relient k
say something, a great big world
salvation, gabrielle aplin
the call, regina spektor
ho hey, the lumineers
oh, it is love, hellogoodbye
mad love, neon trees
im okay, thanks so much!!! 3 years ago i had two surgeries where i got this bars but into my chest so it wouldnt collapse on my heart/lungs and i got them out last monday. im still kinda sore but im healing and i should be back to work soon! :D
I think the scene where Percy controls the water in Akhyls’s body is more powerful than initially thought. Not only does Percy reveal a darker side to him, it proves the gods’ fear of the Big Three having children isn’t misguided. They are dangerous if they survive long enough.
Could you imagine the same thing happening for the other Big Three children? Nico could snap his fingers and cause your lungs to collapse. Thalia could turn cities to ash.
Teamed up, the children of the Big Three could destroy the gods.
you may fall in love and it will hurt like lightning has struck your skeleton, and you heart will crumble into sand, and your lungs will collapse in as if they can not longer grasp oxygen because someone special has stolen all the air in the room.
you may fall in love and you will never recover. heartbreaks don’t heal until you fall in love again, and god knows, nothing will be the same.
hold their name on your tongue like honey, taste the syllables and savor them. your thoughts are candy, so sweet, and they cover someone in salty beauty and you have fallen in love.
and it hurts like lightning. but it also illuminates the night sky in a silhouette of shadows that spread across the horizon in a future that you have never seen before. it also wakes you up as if you had never lived before, as if you had never seen the sun.
someone burns you as if they are the sun and you are a scorched venus, and oh darling, you have fallen in love with the pain.
If she closes her eyes hard enough, and just at the right moments, Y/n can feel Harry in Dan.
It’s quite peculiar, how she finds Harry in almost anything. It’s something she finds so riveting yet so dangerous at the same time. He’s everywhere, he’s in every breath she takes and in every move she makes, and it’s something that brings her an overwhelming sense of comfort yet an overbearing sense of instability.
Dan—an individual full of insecurities and excitement—who varies oh, so differently from Harry, can feel like him if she really tries hard enough. His arms don’t hold her quite the same, and his lips aren’t as soft and flavorful, but if she squeezes her eyes shut, and she loses herself in the memories of Harry, it’s like he’s almost back again—only in the most minuscule of ways.
Which is why, now, in this moment in time, Y/n can barely keep her eyes open.
It’s the first time Y/n brought Dan to the house, letting him stop by to watch a film after his shift. It’s a little something he’s wanted to do for a while, and after many coffee dates and many pleads from Dan, she finally took the step of being completely alone with him.
Gabby decided to go to a friends house and insisted they take their time together. It started off wonderfully; a bottle of red wine, a box of chocolates, and a bag of popcorn while they watched Jaws.
It was all wonderful, until Dan decided to make the move.
Dan is on top of her, lips connecting to hers in a lustful motion. It isn’t that Y/n doesn’t want to be in this position, but more of her being hesitant to do so. She hasn’t kissed anybody since Harry, and although Dan is one of the nicest people she’s ever met, she can’t find it within herself to keep moving any more forward.
And everything about it feels wrong.
Between all the touching, all the kissing, all the feelings within her, she can’t stop thinking about Harry. She can’t stop thinking about how much she misses him and how much she wants him back. She’s still in love with him, so much so that doing this with someone else makes her feel dirty—makes her feel like she’s betraying him.
And it’s all too much, because no matter how hard she closes her eyes, no matter how hard she tries to feel him, he’s not there, and she can’t help but seem to think that he never will be—not anymore.
“No, no, stop.” She whimpers, shaking her head in an attempt to reject Dan’s restless lips.
He doesn’t stop, however, too engaged in the moment to really understand the words stuttering from her mouth. He continues kissing her, instead, moving down to her collarbones.
At this point, Y/n starts to hyperventilate. Between the sobs daring to escape her chest and the lack of air from her previous activities, everything is straining against her. She doesn’t fully understand how she was able to get this far without it being with Harry.
Her arms push Dan off of her until she’s alone on the couch as he’s panting on the floor. She can’t breathe. Her chest is tightening and her cries are so harsh that her lungs are collapsing inside of her.
She reaches her hands up to the roots of her hair, pulling back on them as she tries to gather all the oxygen she can. At this point, her head feels light and her sight is completely blurred by the tears flowing out of them—ones that she doesn’t even try to stop.
“I’m s—so sor—ry.” She hiccups, her head falling to her hands.
Dan gulps as he tentatively stands from his spot on the floor, his hands up in front of him as if in a panic—trying desperately to figure out how to fix the mess being made in front of him.
He looks around the room, as if in search for something to guide him through this situation, but there’s nothing. All the room occupies is a broken woman, sobbing breathlessly on a couch in front of him, muttering incoherent phrases under her breath.
“Okay,” he huffs out, nodding his head to himself, “It’s okay, yeah? You’re okay?”
He occupies the empty spot next to her, hesitantly wrapping an arm around her shoulders in an attempt to comfort her. In all honesty, Dan is complete shit at helping people during emotional breakdowns, and considering this one had happened so suddenly, he had absolutely no warning that he would be put in this position.
Y/n feels bad, she does, considering Dan doesn’t deserve the treatment she’s given him and surely doesn’t deserve what was once an innocent date to end up a complete disaster. But she can’t help it, and she can’t stop now, no matter how hard she tries.
“It’s Harry, isn’t it?”
His voice is nothing but a whisper, and the words that spoke out from his lips nearly brings every movement in Y/n’s body to a halt. She never told him that it was Harry who broke her heart, and to be honest, she doesn’t even find the strength within her to begin to question how he even knows of Harry—especially his relationship with her.
Of course, their relationship has been publicized for years, but Dan is a very closed-off type of person. He’s not much into music, either—another part of him that differs so drastically from Harry—and spends a majority of his time working or spending time outside rather than succumbing himself in social media.
He looks down at the rose ring wrapped around his pointer finger, twirling it around with the hand that was once wrapped around Y/n’s shoulders.
He knew the moment he saw Harry’s reaction that this ring very much belonged to him. He wasn’t quite sure why she sacrificed it so mindlessly—why it seemed to have no story behind it. But between everything Gabby’s told him and everything he’s gathered from her previous relationship, she wanted nothing more than to get rid of every reminder she had of him.
He doesn’t feel worthy enough for it, though. If Y/n and Harry don’t find their way back to each other, he feels she should at least give it to somebody that she loves, not somebody she needs to help her get over her heartbreak.
He slides it off his finger, placing it gently on the palm of his hand before closing his fingers into a fist.
“We can’t keep doing this, Y/n. Not if you can’t talk to me.” He mutters softly, “Not if you’re still in love with him, we’ll be getting nowhere.”
This makes her cry harder. She still doesn’t have the audacity to look up at him, no, how could she? After everything she’s done?
This is why she always ends up alone. No matter how in love she is, no matter how much effort she puts into a relationship, they always end up leaving her. It’s happened long before Harry, and she was so convinced he’d stay when he came around. She was so dead set on him being her forever, but the same thing happened again. He left, just like everyone else.
And now, Dan is leaving her, and although she can’t exactly blame him for doing so, it’s another wound to her heart—it’s another pain in her chest that only seems to increase with pain.
He sighs sadly at the sight in front of him, upset with himself that he’s probably a partial reason for her soul-shaking sobs and lack of air, but he has no other choice. If he stays with her, he’d be forcing her to love someone she doesn’t. He has to let her go if it means to possibly make amends with her happiness again.
He takes one of her shaking hands away from her face and bringing it towards his lap, spreading her fingers away from her palm so that he can set the ring softly against it.
She sobs at the sight, bringing her opposite hand to her mouth as she tries to quiet herself down.
“This was Harry’s, it always was. This belongs to you, Y/n, not me.”
She nods, trying her best to smile at him as a form of appreciation, but it fails miserably. He understands, though, that she cares, and doesn’t ask her any questions.
“I’ll let Gabby know to come home now, okay?”
He kisses the top of her head, the way he always does, before removing himself from the couch and toward the front door.
“Take care of yourself, Y/n. I mean it.”
And then, he’s gone, leaving Y/n alone in an empty house and her haunting thoughts. She feels the world is closing in on her, only giving her a restricted amount of air and a limited amount of light to see what’s in front of her.
She’s alone—she’s left by herself in a dark room that’s only being illuminated by the television light, where nobody can hear her, where nobody can touch her, where nobody can see her; in a place where she just can’t trust herself.
She’s left alone, as she’s always left, and she just can’t take it anymore.
Her emotions become so strong that her body collapses onto the floor, her head throbbing and throat burning from all the tears and cries. She can’t breathe, her lungs failing to take in oxygen and her chest is pounding.
It’s so bad that if Gabby doesn’t come home soon, she actually believes she’s going to die. She feels the tug on her heart and feels how hard it is for it to do its job properly—she practically feels it overworking itself.
Gabby finds her on the floor, making her immediately drop her purse and run to her collapsed body. Y/n is a withering mess underneath her, completely drenched in sweat as violent sobs erupt from her body.
She’s quick to sit her up properly onto the floor before lifting her back onto the couch, running a comforting hand down the side of her neck as she begins to shush her down to a calm state. However, her attempt falters when Y/n shakes her head to remove Gabby’s touch from her neck.
“I can’t—I can’t—“
She tries to find words to explain what’s happening to her right now. Between the pain in her body and the feeling in her head, her brain is scrambling with so many fearful thoughts that the only thing she can truly comprehend is being saved from this horrifying feeling.
Gabby is taken aback when she says it, completely astonished by just how serious this all is. She realizes this isn’t a situation that she can fix on her own, and it makes her feel like such a bad friend that she can’t give her what she needs.
Tears fall from her eyes in panic, well aware that her friend is undergoing something far worse than a mental breakdown, but also knows that the hospital won’t be able to help her.
Only Harry can.
“Let me call for help, okay?“ She asks softly. “I’m gonna send help.”
When Harry sees Gabby’s contact light up his phone, something inside of him instantly fills with worry. He knows, without a doubt, that Gabby hates him more than anybody ever since what happened. And knowing her so well, she would never reach out to him, especially when her negative feelings toward him were so strong, unless it’s serious.
“You have to do something, Harry.” She cries through the phone, peaking over her shoulder to look over Y/n from her location in the kitchen.
She’s still a mess, holding her hand over her heart as if it were going to mend the pain. Her head is thrown over the back of the couch, her other hand running over her face continuously. Her sobs haven’t settled, only seeming to increase with panic over the unfamiliar reaction occurring over her body.
“She thinks you don’t want her and—Harry she thinks she’s dying. Her heart is so broken. She keeps saying her heart is going to fail her and I don’t—I don’t know what to do. I don’t think there’s anything I can do. She—she was trying so hard. Harry, please, you have to—you have to—“
Harry leans on his elbows over the kitchen counter, huffing out a shaky breath when he hears both Gabby and Y/n’s cries through the phone. He rubs his hand over his face, doing anything to prevent the tears nearly pooling out from his eyes.
He’d be lying if he said that guilt isn’t eating him alive in this moment. And it’s not that he hasn’t felt any remorse or any guilt since he’d broken Y/n’s heart, but he’s now fully aware that he has to look at the damage he’s done. He’ll have to witness all the pain, all the heartbreak he’s put her through, and nothing makes him feel worse.
“I’ll do anything.” He whimpers. “Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it. I promise, I won’t keep doing this to her, you have to believe me. Just—“ he lets out a broken breath, reaching his hand up to rub his eyes to prevent any tears from escaping, “just tell me what to do.”
Gabby wipes the tears from her cheeks, yet again peering over to watch over Y/n on the couch. To her dismay, there is absolutely no improvement.
“Come here, pick her up, and bring her home. Just talk to her, please. Nothing makes her feel worse than believing you don’t want her anymore. Hell, even if you don’t—I don’t know with you anymore—just give her something. You’re the only one that can fix this.”
He sighs, nodding his head before making his way out of his house without much of a response to her. He’s only concerned for Y/n, and is so focused on getting to her so that he can prove to her that he’s changed—that he’s not the same Harry he was and is going to be there for her for as long as his life lasts, even if she doesn’t allow it.
But it’s upon arrival he realizes how much more serious this is than he thought. She’s completely breaking down, every inch of her shaking and fear written on her face. She’s a complete and utter mess, a completely wrecked version of such a beautiful, unbroken woman who had so much love in her heart and surrounded by so much love in the air.
And even though Harry knows she believes she’s going to die, apart of him believes she’s already dead. The life inside of her has burned out and is now just a product of what once was. The Y/n he always known is long gone—so far gone he almost doesn’t believe it’s her.
He looks at her with the most distraught and sympathetic look Gabby has ever seen. She has never seen so much guilt in somebody before that—no matter how much she hates him—she can’t help but feel sorry for him, too.
“Baby, hey. Hey now, it’s alright.” He whispers, kneeling in front of Y/n’s shaking figure and tentatively reaching for her hair so that he can attempt to calm her down. “I’m here now, I’m right here.”
A pitiful sound leaves her lips when she looks up at him; something between a whine, a sob, and a groan. It’s messy from her throat being raw from all the screaming and cries, and it leaves an indescribable pain that only makes her cries stronger.
She can’t even think properly, everything in her body overworking itself. It’s something she’s never experienced before, and all the fears of it being permanent rush through her veins—leaving her with an overwhelming amount of anxiety.
“She’s having a panic attack.” Harry mumbles to Gabby, making sure to rub gently over the back of Y/n’s neck. Although panic attacks weren’t common for her, whenever she was overwhelmed and stressed, this gesture always seemed calmed her down.
“I don’t know what to do. I can’t drive with her like this I—Gabby, how do I focus with her like this?” He cries, the situation in front of him making his body turn to shambles, “Especially when it’s my fault? How do I—do I keep her here until she’s calm? I don’t—I don’t know—”
Gabby shakes her head, reaching her hand over to graze his tense shoulder. She squeezes the muscle softly, almost as a sort of reassurance.
“She needs home, Harry—” she whispers, “she needs you.”
He nods, choking back sobs as he brushes the hair out of Y/n’s face. The skin of her face is red and completely soaked, but this is the first time he’s seen her since the morning in the grocery store, and she’s never looked so beautiful.
“I’m going to take you home with me, Y/n. But I need you to breathe for me, can you do that?” He asks, holding her face delicately between his hands, “Breathe with me.”
Y/n sucks in a deep breath when Harry inhales deeply, attempting to rid all the anxiety and pain settling inside of her. Her inhale is broken between hiccups and cries, but as she keeps eye contact with him as she tries to calm down, a little part of her feels revived.
“It hurts.” She whimpers between sobs, referring to the pain in her chest and the throbbing in her head that just can’t seem to heal.
She watches as Harry’s face scrunches with an agonizing cry, and she knows he’s aware of exactly what she’s talking about. She’s been brokenhearted for so long, she doesn’t even think he’s the least bit shocked when she tells him her heart is hurting.
“I know, baby. I know.” He whispers as he kisses her forehead gently. “Let’s get you home, yeah? Make you feel better?”
And as much as she wants to hate him, or yell at him for everything he’s done to her and make him understand just how much of her life he’s ruined, she genuinely feels like her body is going to collapse at any given moment. She needs him, even if it’s just for right now, she has to just focus on everything happening in the now. Harry’s come back to her and she’s about to go back home.
Because if she doesn’t think about the present moment—Harry holding her, Harry kissing her, Harry about to take the both of them back to their house—she’ll never find a way to fix herself. She’ll be stuck in this anxiety and pain for far too long—so long that it could actually kill her.
So she closes her eyes, only focusing on his touch and his breath fanning over her wet face. She forgets the t-shirt, she forgets all the times he’s ignored her after declaring them to take a break, and she forgets about Jessica. At least for right now, she can focus on all that tomorrow.
She nods, and it’s then Harry notices how much more calm she is. Although she’s still crying and still incapable of speaking much from the aching in her throat, she’s breathing properly again and her once undying sobs have turned into soft whimpers.
He leans in so that he can properly wrap his arms around her, hooking one hand on her back and the other under her knees. There’s no way in hell she’s capable of walking—not like this, and in all honesty, he would much rather hold her now than leave her side for another second.
It’s when Y/n is being held so close to him again that the aching in her chest seems to almost vanish completely. And although there is still a weight on top of her lungs, and still a slight uncomfortableness in her heart, she’s finally able to breathe again.
“I’m gonna make this all better, okay? I promise you, gonna fix you.” He mumbles with his lips against her hairline, making sure to keep rubbing the back of her neck softly.
It’s a promise he intends on keeping—a promise he never plans on breaking again. He could never live with himself if he were to keep putting her through all of this pain. She’s the most undeserving person—he knows that—and he knows she’s too pure to go through all that she’s been through the past couple of months.
The car ride is completely silent, only Y/n’s cries and small sniffles filling the empty space. Although she still isn’t completely calm, she’s improved so much since he first came to pick her up and it is able to keep his mind at ease. At least while he drives.
And he doesn’t miss her hand sneaking over the console to intertwine her fingers with his. He doesn’t expect it but he also doesn’t mind it. If anything, it makes him feel better just as much as it does her.
When they pull up to the driveway of their once shared house, every bit of composure she’s withheld in her body is breaking down by the second. Her strength is wearing thin, and knowing she’ll be reuniting in the house where Y/n and Harry once had everything makes her more afraid than ever.
Harry notices her sudden shift in mood and doesn’t hesitate to unbuckle himself from his seat and walk around the car to where her exhausted figure is sobbing, slumped against the passenger seat. He sighs meekly before unbuckling her, as well, and lifting her against him the way he had before.
“Hey there, s’alright, I’m here. We’ll work this out, but you need to sleep first, yeah? Looking very pale and I know you well enough to see you’ve been lacking sleep.”
Although they both know Y/n isn’t going to respond, she wants to continue listening to him speak. It’s something she hasn’t heard in so long, and she wouldn’t even care if he was talking about the goddamn weather, she just wants to hear him again.
He keeps talking, too, because he notices the effects of his voice on her anxiety and how the muscles in her body relax under his words. He’ll stop at nothing to make sure she’s okay again, even if it means having a one-sided conversation.
“You know how you are, too—grumpy and sensitive when you’re tired. Almost take my head off if you don’t get more than seven hours. Remember that one time at my mum’s Christmas dinner party? Barely slept the night before from wrapping so many gifts that you genuinely got upset with me for not knowing your favorite alcoholic beverage.” He chuckles softly. “Funny lil thing.“
Through the nonstop crying and the frown that hasn’t left Y/n’s lips in what feels like an eternity, the first smile stretches from her lips. It’s the smallest closed mouth smile he’s ever seen, but it’s there, and it’s the most genuine feeling of happiness she’s had in so long.
When Harry unlocks the door, he wastes no time making his way over to their couch. He knows very well that she wouldn’t want to sleep on their bed, considering she’s well aware of what he did with Jessica on that bed and he wants no reason to upset her any further.
He sets her down in front of the couch, petting the top of her head softly before gathering a blanket and a pillow for her to sleep on.
He sets it up like a bed, almost, before turning to leave so that she can have her privacy. He doesn’t think she’d want to sleep with him, so he decides to sleep in the guest bedroom since he knows she’d always pick the living room couch over that room.
But before he gets too far, Y/n weakly captures his fingers in hers, pulling him back towards her.
His head snaps down to her finger, noticing the rose ring being worn beautifully on her middle finger. He almost chokes when he sees it on her, eyes wide and lips slightly parted in half confusion and half in awe.
“Please,” she whimpers, “stay.”
He snaps out of his trance at her words, slowly nodding his head as a small “of course” falls from his lips.
He lays comfortably on the couch, looking up at her when he finds a position where she can lay beside him.
“If you want you can take the—alright” he huffs.
His eyes narrow as he watches her lay on top of him—fully on top of him; her cheek nesting right where his shoulder meets his neck as her arms slither around his sides until her hands meet under his back. Her legs tangle perfectly in between his, and in any other circumstance, this probably wouldn’t have been an ideal sleeping position for the either of them. But Y/n is exhausted, both physically and mentally, and she feels this is the only position she can sleep.
Harry doesn’t mind, and easily ignores the subtle uncomfortableness in his back as he wraps his arms securely around her frame.
Although Y/n is already fast asleep on top of it, he’s unsure how he can close his eyes for longer than a blink. This could be the last chance he has to be with her in this way. He’s unsure what tomorrow holds for the both of them and their relationship—it could end entirely or create an entirely new beginning.
With the possibilities almost endless against their favor, he doesn’t want to miss a second of what could be the last of her in his life. So, he embraces the feeling of her tight hold, the little puddle of drool on the shoulder of his t-shirt, and the tickle on his chin from her loose strands of hair, because this could be the last time he feels all of that.
But he also can’t help but feel that small bit of hope still latching onto him. That somewhere—deep down—he knows they belong to each other for the rest of their lives. And that, maybe, if the universe decides that their relationship should end tomorrow, he knows destiny will find a way for the both of them again.
So, he holds her a little tighter, breathes her in a little harsher, and soaks up all the extra warmth in her body, and prays that everything will be okay.
I’m so amused by how different Iron Fist’s standard of “beaten to crap” is from Daredevil. Iron Fist’s badly beaten- a split lip, some reddish bruises, one stab wound on the arm. Daredevil badly beaten- can barely stand, collapsed lung, broken ribs, multiple stab wounds including a deep one in the side, off to fight the Russians again (and that’s the second or third worst injury that Matt walks away from a fight with).
I want the rest of the Defenders to be bewildered by Matt’s ridiculous standards for what constitutes being hurt, and to join Claire and Foggy in the default position of “oh my gosh Matt, you’re bleeding from like twelve different wounds, please sit down”
have you ever wanted something so badly it felt like your lungs were collapsing. like the need was so sharp you were folding in on yourself. like maybe your heart had the choice to stay quiet or to break itself chasing the light and it chose self-destruction.
I used to think, he was so dangerously in love with you, that hurting you would be like his lungs collapsing because he inhaled too much smoke. I used to think, that you were the only person that ever touched his heart because he looked at you like you were the only thing that could make his heart beat. But now, I see a boy who doesn’t know what he’s doing. I see a boy who thinks he’s in over his head. I see a boy whose judgement is so clouded that he hurts the one thing that he promised he wouldn’t. Maybe that’s just his way of showing you how much he loves you but I really don’t think so.
this came from a conversation i had with @minyarrd03 where we were discussing headcanons about neil + learning to function in the Outside World without being a) extremely suspicious b) plain weird (he’s failing miserably)
so one day neil learns what ‘nailed it’ means
and matt jokingly says ‘ah you neiled that one’ and neil thinks it’s s o c l e v e r (kinda helps it came from matt. neil thinks everything matt says is clever)
and from that moment on he won’t stop saying it
literally won’t stop like? shoots in goal and scores? ‘neiled it’. wins an argument against kevin? ‘neiled it’. catches smth right before it falls to the ground? u fuckin guessed it ‘neiled it’
and like. okay it’s slightly obnoxious and all but the way his eyes light up like it’s the funniest joke in the world…. it’s so endearing so no one says anything
not even allison (given matt has to shush her a few times)
not even andrew. andrew. the first time a drunk neil nearly knocks over his glass but manages to get it up right before any liquid spills out and slurs out a ‘neiled it’, andrew can’t even find it in himself to glare
it’s almost sweet, the way he’ll roll his eyes and instead ask to kiss neil to shut him up
but one day. one day.
andrew and neil are making out sweetly kissing in the dorm room and a slightly intoxicated nicky suddenly barges in before they can go back to pretending that ‘this is nothing’
and nicky. my poor son. lets out a slurred but distinct ‘looks like andrew neiled that one’
and oh boy nicky is gone. so far gone. Joke Of The Year™ what a comedian
and he’s nearly collapsing a lung laughing until he realizes that neil is digging his fingers in andrew’s upper arm to keep him from taking a swing at him
and so nicky just takes off running because OH BOY he doesn’t want to die tonight
not after catching them together and winning at least 70 bucks in a single night in bets
they say if you listen carefully enough you can still hear nicky’s screams ringing through the dorm halls
Author’s note: Hi, hello!! An early update!! I wasn’t feeling too hot about this part but I hope you guys like it. Any and all feedback is appreciated, as always. Enjoy!
It’s not pleasant to wake up in a room without blinds.
Light pierces your eyes, even through the lids. The sun is blaring hot. You can feel an uncomfortable layer of sweat coating your back. When you open your eyes, it takes a few panicked moments to remember where you are.
The first time Lily Evans meets him is at the self-checkout service at Tesco Extra. He’s got these tall, gangly legs that look like they could go on forever and (from what she can tell from the back of him anyways) an unruly bed of jet black hair.
And, if first impressions were anything to go by then he was also an absolute fool. Clumsy and, to be honest, bordering on idiotic.
Genre: ANGST Words: 1,821 Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: Stalking, injuries, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK Summary: Soulmate AU in which one’s heartbeat becomes perfectly in sync with their soulmate’s once they meet.
There was a sea of people surrounding you. Unfamiliar faces swarmed through your hazy vision and voices were muffled, barely audible at all through the constant ringing in your ears. You couldn’t distinguish anything through your heavy eyes except for the white tiled ceiling above you.
The panicked atmosphere seemed to consume you, muffled voices sounding determined yet rushed. There was a red spot in your vision, no doubt from blood that had gotten into your eye, and it was covering the view from your left side. It was hard to tell what was hurting, your brain only knowing that something everything was.
A bag valve mask was placed over your mouth, attempting to adjust the rate of your breathing. You weren’t sure if it was too rapid or too slow. You couldn’t feel your heartbeat, you couldn’t feel your breathing, you couldn’t feel your own skin. All you could feel was air rush past as each person reached for equipment.
And then a face moved past the red spot in your vision, leaning over you and mouthing something to you with so much resolve, that you couldn’t look away. His eyes pierced into yours, breaking open whatever trance your body was in. You were sent gasping for air through the mask, and your ears opened up to the sound around you.
Hii, Here is part 2 to ‘Give me a Break.“ I got so many great responses to it and I cant thank you enough. I hope you enjoy it.xxx
During the first week without him Y/N was alright. She busied herself with working and cleaning up the house and doing everything to take her mind off the fact that something was missing.
During the first week without her Harry was heartbroken. Just like every time he was away from her. It was worse this time though. He didn’t talk to her. And he had no idea where they were standing right now.
And he missed her.
During the second week without him it finally sunk in that he wasn’t there. Y/N finally realized what ‘taking a break’ really meant. It meant radio silence. Nothing. Nothing but her mind wandering to him and what happened. And how everything was so messed up.
And that was when she understood Harry’s doubts.
During the second week without her he got used to the empty feeling inside his heart. He got used to the sleepless nights and mornings filled with tears. He didn’t eat properly anymore. He hadn’t smiled ever since he left her standing in their foyer. He felt like he wasn’t able to breath. Like his lungs would collapse anytime.
When the day of his departure finally came he didn’t know what to do. He wanted to see her before he left for two weeks. He wanted a good luck kiss from her or else he was sure he would mess up SNL.
But when his finger hovered over the call button he hesitated. What if she didn’t want to talk to him? What if she didn’t want to see him?
He was scared.
But he had to talk to her. He couldn’t take another second without hearing her voice.
So he took a deep breath and called her. And he waited. And waited. With ever beep his heart sunk lower and lower. Until finally it shattered when a female voice told him he could leave a message.
He tossed the phone onto the bed and gasped for air. Tears welled up in his eyes and streamed down his cheeks. Whimpers and silent sobs wrecked his body.
This can’t be happening.
She can’t be serious.
And again he began to doubt everything.
Two hours later his phone rang. When he saw her photo on his screen he closed his eyes for a second before he lifted his phone to his ear.
“Harry, oh my goodness. I’m so sorry I didn’t pick up earlier but I took a nap and I didn’t hear my phone ringing. I’m sorry. Please tell me you didn’t leave yet.”
His eyes closed again when he finally heard her voice again.
“Alright. Okay. Then I’ll come over. You want me to come over, right? Or maybe you just called to let me know you’re leaving and you don’t even want to see me. God, I want to see you, Harry. Or even worse you called to-”
“Love. I want to see you. Or course I do.” he chuckled quietly.
“More than anything.”
“You don’t hate me?”
“I told you I could never hate you.”
“Okay. That’s good, because I don’t hate you either. I actually love you and-” she stopped talking abruptly.
“And I’m rambling.” she sighed out.
Harry chuckled and for the first time in weeks he smiled again. Because of her. Because she made him smile during the worst times.
“You want to come over now?”
“Yes. Of course. I’ll be twenty minutes tops. See you!”
And with that they hung up.
He noticed that his hands were shaking and his face was burning up. Twenty minutes. Twenty minutes until he saw her again. God, he missed her.
He went into the bathroom and studied himself in the mirror. He had a bit of peach fuzz going on above his lips and around his jawline but he knew she liked that. His hair was messy but not too messy. He filled his hands with cold water and spritzt it onto his face to make sure he looked a bit more fresh.
He was wearing the yellow and black pullover from Gucci which Y/N absolutely loved. His legs were covered by black skinny jeans like always. On his fingers sat all the rings Y/N loved.
And she loved him.
Y/N was shaking too when she placed her phone down, her breathing heavier than usual.
She went into the bathroom to check her appearance. Her hair was straightened and framing her face nicely. Her makeup was natural but complimented every feature perfectly. She was wearing a dark blue V-neck pullover and around her neck she wore the golden necklace Harry gave her on their one year anniversary. Her legs were covered by blue ripped jeans and she knew Harry loved them.
But did he lover her?
When she finally arrived at Gemma’s house she was more nervous than ever. She didn’t know what would happen now. If she would only walk in, wish him good luck and then leave again. The worst was that she didn’t have a lot of time. Only an hour before she would have to leave in order to be on time for her dinner plans.
She took a deep breath before she got out of her car and made her way to the front door. She lifted her shaking hand and rung the doorbell. A few seconds later she heard footsteps making their way to the door. And then he opened it.
And he stood there in all his glory, looking even more handsome than ever. A soft smile grazed his lips and she heard him release the breath he was holding.
He didn’t get to finish his sentence because Y/N threw her arms around his neck and squeezed him tightly. She heard his surprised gasp and prayed he wouldn’t push her away, but he didn’t. Of course he didn’t. He only pulled her closer and nuzzled his face into her neck.
She smelled his familiar scent and tears sprung to her eyes immediately. His pillow lost his scent long ago and she missed it.
She smelled just like he remembered as well. Fresh and girly and so like home.
They stood like that for a few moments before Y/N pulled away and wiped the tears from her cheeks.
"Sorry, didn’t mean to jump on you like that. Just really missed you.”
Harry closed the door behind her and took hold of one of her hands.
“I missed you, too.”
Their eyes met and they both felt their hearts breaking all over again when they saw each others sadness.
Harry wrapped her in a tight hug again, his hands rubbing over her back in the way he knew she liked.
“You look very beautiful, my love.” he whispered into her neck.
“You look very handsome as well, Harry.” she replied and pulled back a bit so she could look at him.
Harry reached up to cup her cheek and stroked over her cheek gently.
“I cooked dinner. My legendary chicken that you love so much.” he smiled softly.
“I’d love to stay for dinner, but I can’t. I already made plans with someone.”
Y/N watched with horror as Harry’s face fell immediately and his hand dropped from her cheek. He took a step back and scratched his head awkwardly.
“A-Alright. Uhm, well-”
“Harry? Did I say something wrong?” she panicked, her hand reaching out for him but he took another step back.
“No. Everything’s okay.”
“Is… Is it because I said I made plans with someone?”
He looked at the floor, his fingers nervously playing with his rings. She sighed and shook her head.
“I made plans with someone new from work. His name is Tim and he needs some information and we thought it would be nice to do all that stuff over dinner.”
His eyes closed briefly when he heard his name. Tim.
Y/N sighed again, closed the gap between them and threaded her fingers through his.
“This is a business dinner, Harry. Not a date. I don’t go on dates with anyone but if I would want to I’d only go with you. Tim is nice and we get along and he needs a bit of help. That’s all.”
“Do you like him?”
“I don’t know him so there’s nothing to like or dislike.”
“Do you want to get to know him?”
“Harry!” she exclaimed frustrated.
“I told you it’s a business dinner. You have nothing to worry about, alright? Believe me, I would love to stay here and eat dinner with you. But I don’t think that’s exactly what we should do during our break and I can’t just ditch Tim.”
His eyes snapped to hers and his brows furrowed.
“You think we can’t spend a evening together just because we’re on a break?”
Her eyes closed briefly and she sighed. She looked up at him again and lifted the hand that wasn’t holding his to his cheek.
“We said we needed space, remember? I don’t want to mess anything up just because we’re desperately missing each other.”
“You said we needed space, not me.” Harry mumbled.
“Harry.” she all but pleaded and Harry sighed and nodded.
“So you don’t have that much time, hm?”
“Well, at least you came. Wasn’t sure you’d want to.”
“Of course I wanted to. I missed you like crazy.”
The both stared into each other’s eyes for a few seconds before Harry sighed and leaned his forehead against hers.
“What are we doing, love?” he asked in a whisper.
“Let’s not talk about it now, yeah? We’ll do that when you’re back and we’ll have time.”
Y/N reached her arms up again and wrapped them around his neck, pressing a tiny kiss right behind his ear.
“I’m scared, H.”
“Me too, love.”
They pulled back and both sighed.
“I think it’s better when I’ll leave now.” she whispered after a few seconds.
Harry wanted to shake his head and hold her so she couldn’t leave. He wanted her to stay with him and not go out with another man. She was his after all.
But he nodded anyway. Because it was for the better.
“Promise me to take care, yeah? And don’t go out without at least one bodyguard, you know how crazy the fans in New York are.”
“I promise.” he smiled weakly.
“And promise not to forget about me.” she whimpered and Harry was shocked to see tears falling from her eyes.
“Love, I could never forget about you. I love you so much.”
And now they were both crying.
“I love you too.”
“God, we never cry this much when I have to leave.” Harry chuckled.
Y/N giggled softly wiped her constantly falling tears away.
“You can still call me anytime you need to, okay? I’m never too busy and I don’t care about time zones.”
“Same goes to you.” she nodded.
“Can I get a good luck kiss? Or else I think I’ll mess up.”
She laughed softly and leaned up to press her lips to his. Harry moaned quietly at the contact and pulled her closer. She melted against him like she always does and opened her mouth so Harry could deepen the kiss, but only for a moment before he pulled away to breath. He held her in place with his hand in her hair so she wouldn’t pull away and pressed countless soft kisses against her mouth. He wasn’t ready to let go yet.
“Be late.” she finally finished with a laugh when she pulled away enough that his lips didn’t touch hers anymore.
“Don’t care. That Tom guy can wait.”
“Even if his name was Gustav, Rudolph or Theodor I wouldn’t care.”
Y/N kissed him through her smile and pulled him closer. She wasn’t ready to let go either.
“I really have to go now.”
He sighed, nodded and kissed her again.
“You’ll kick ass in New York, alright?”
He chuckled and nodded.
They kissed again and again until she really had to leave or else she would definitely make Tim wait.
“You know that I love you, right?” he asked just before she exited the house.
“I do. I love you, too. We’ll get through this.” she smiled at him.
“Pinky promise.” she nodded and slung her pinky around his.
“Bye.” he whispered.
“Bye. And let me know when you’ve landed, yeah?”
And after another kiss she left the house.
She made it to the restaurant right on time but Tim was sitting at the table already. She made her way through the room until she reached him and he stood up when he saw her.
“Hey.” he breathed and kissed her cheek.
“Hi, I’m sorry you had to wait. And I’m sorry that my outfit is so casual but I was a bit distracted earlier.” she blushed.
“Yeah.” she nodded and sat down on her chair.
She made it through dinner without thinking about Harry every second. She was actually able to let go for a bit and enjoy it. Tim was fun and made her laugh a lot which she really needed for a change.
She decided that she liked him, he worked hard and was very interested in all the things she brought for him and he was also relaxed and cool. And she would be lying if she said she didn’t find him attractive.
If she didn’t knew Harry, she thought, she might go out with him again. But she knew Harry, and was his girlfriend. And she knew that no one could ever compare.
When they left the restaurant Tim insisted to walk her to her car just to know she was safe. The still laughed and giggled and the atmosphere around them was light.
“I really enjoyed dinner with you, I really needed some fun.” she smiled at him when they reached her car.
And something about the was he looked at her and smiled should have let her know that they weren’t on the same page.
He leaned in and Y/N thought he’ll only kiss her cheek but when she felt his lips brush hers her eyes widened.
summary: after falling for your already taken best friend, min yoongi, your confession results in a less than surprising fall out. three years later, you find yourself at your own wedding, except whom the last millisecond of each one of your heartbeats is beating for isn’t the groom; it’s him.
prompts: “do you think we’re bad people?” “i tried my best to not feel anything for you. guess what? i failed.” “if you had asked me to stay, i would’ve.”