I met one of the Sprouse twins (who was incredibly buff for some reason?) on the patio of a city Italian restaurant. He asked me to go on a date with him, I asked [my IRL husband] if it was okay to go for celebrity-schmoozing purposes and he said, “Yeah sure, here’s my credit card just in case. Have fun.”

For the date we went zip-lining (which morphed into us doing couple’s parkour??) At the end of the date, Mr. Sprouse started getting very physical and invited me back to his penthouse to “get to know me better.” Then I woke up.