cole romance

nobody cares about problematic relationships when they involve a possessed terrorist or a sexually abused escaped slave (both of whom have stated they didn’t want to or couldn’t be in a relationship), but when it comes to cole, people’s justice boners pierce the stratosphere. idc about his romance, but tumblr’s hypocrisy and penchant for calling cole-mancers pedophiles burns me up. those are very serious accusations for a fictional character who isn’t even remotely an actual child. he is not in a right mental place to consent to a healthy relationship (hmm, sounds familiar). those are two very different situations.

About Cole...

I don’t write my own posts that often but here is one thing that’s been bothering me. It’s the amount of people against the Cole romance thing. I can’t help but find him attractive though, which probably disgusts some of you but here are some things you should know first before judging me:

1. I am young, in my early 20s though I continue to always be mistaken for a child or teen. I therefore do not see Cole as a child or ‘my son’ as some people refer to him, I see him more as an equal.

2. If people can call Cole immature, I seriously wonder what they would call me. I believe that he, in knowing all about love, friendship, sex and even him being a murderer, traitor, vigilante even, that yes he is definitely more mature than a lot of previously romanceable characters. Merril? Hell yes. Fenris? He has to be forced to even try to understand love! Alistair is just a giant baby when you first meet him, for heaven’s sake! (Did any of the nay-sayers even flick through Asunder? Maybe give that a go and realise the intensity of feelings that Cole is capable of)

3. His appearance. So. I’m small, fairly young and straight, always play a female character similar to me. My romance options are? Giant old men who could be my father and a girl elf who needs her mouth washed out with soap. Cole, however… He is tall, lean, mysterious. He is young and not overly muscular like Bull or Cullen (which is just off putting to me), he has beautiful eyes and a mysterious air about him. His hair is gorgeous, guys with longer hair make my brain melt. So yeah I just look at him and I’m blown away.

4. Emotional connection. I can’t be attracted to someone or even a character unless I find something heartwarming in them, kindness, compassion, caring, love… This is what makes a person 100000000x more attractive to me. The way Cole understands everyone’s feelings, how he is totally selfless and wants to spend all his time helping people. On the other hand I see how lost he is, how he hurts himself by hiding his own feelings, forgetting his own hurts and suffering on the inside because that’s how he was in Asunder and his heart broke when he thought he lost his friends.

5. Romance. I don’t actually care much about marrying him in a game or whatever but for the sake of letting me RP fully in an RPG I just want to be able to hold his hand, reach out for his problems, tell him I’ll always be there to help others with him, help him too, always protect him. I want to tell him I love him even if he never understands, tell him I’d die for him, anything it takes to keep him from harm, he is so kind that’s what he deserves. I want to open up more and do nice things for him because he spends all his time ignoring his own needs and being an angel for others.

I would be happy just with a repeatable option to somehow always make him smile.
How to Love a Ghost

The tips of his fingers are cold, always cold, but they feelwarm when they’re intertwined together with yours. Fingers between fingers, weaving a net, catching every piece of you that’s falling to pieces, falling together, becoming something new. Hold his hand often, your fingers will become warmer too.

Tell him how real he is to you. With every look, every brush, every smile. Let your heart overflow with the presence of him. Make it the realist thing inside of you until it runs over. Seeping out in the glances you give him, in the soft touches. Let it spill through your smile, rolling off of your tongue, forming words. Tell him how much he matters, to you, in this moment and every second after.

Take things slow. Escape from a world where everything is too quick, too loud. The top floor of the tavern. The balcony of your quarters, sunlit and warm. Feet dangling from the ramparts. Eyes closed under the trees in the garden. Soak in the stillness of together, hand in hand, head on shoulder, heart on sleeve. Take the whole day. Take it all in. Take it easy.

When he laughs, let it wash over you. Let the softness of his voice be a comfort. He is filled with wonder and kindness, such magnificent beauty. Let it shatter you, releasing something inside that you were too scared to feel before. As he delights in the wonders of existence, delight in how it bubbles up and out of him. Allow yourself the amazement of living, and loving. Relish in the joy, feel it together. You can laugh too, it’s ok.

He has a thirst, a curiosity to know. Tell him anything and everything. Spend nights close together, answering, asking, explaining, wondering. He’s growing, expanding. Something new every day, and there’s room for the both of you. Grow with him, learn with him. Take every moment as a gift, a lesson. Learn something new together.

Kiss him gently. Mouth bushing against cheeks, foreheads, shoulders. Dusting him with affection. Light and tender. Not an inch of harshness. Brush the hair out of his eyes. Gaze into orbs of blue, the colour of a raw soul. Cheeks in your hands, warm with affection. Love on your lips, eager to share.

About the Asexual vrs Romancable Cole Debate

So I have been seeing a lot of two mentalities lately. 

The first is people being against forcing an ace headcanon on Cole and/or the idea that he is a canon asexual character because you want to romance him

The second view I’ve seen is one which us mainly against romancing because you headcanon him as asexual.

What’s the super big problem here? It’s the fact that people are treating these two headcanons (and yes they are both headcanons, not canon… I’ll get to that later) as mutually exclusive to one another.If this was an essay this would be my thesis statement: Cole from Dragon Age Inquisition could be headcanoned as both an asexual and romancable character. (this isn’t going to be essay length bc i have to go to work in like 20 min lol)

Before I begin I want to say that this is specifically about asexual headcanons, not aromantic. Tbh I don’t see as many aromantic headcanons. Probably because people seem to have an issue differentiating between aro and ace, a big problem by itself. It’s also a whole different matter of debate when it comes to Cole. SO we’ll just leave that for now.

ok So, it seems to be a thing right now that people are arguing that romancing Cole is wrong, because “it’s canon that he’s asexual.” First of all, no…. no it isn’t canon that he’s asexual. You can ague a few things about his personality that would make this seem plausible. You coud try to do it without sounding ableist af but good luck with that. The point is, no where is it stated that he is asexual. So stop taking it as a personal attack when people disagree with you

Where is this specific brand of the ace headcanon coming from? Note that I’m only talking about arguing that ace = no romance here, not ace headcanons in general. Two sources I’d say, but both stem from a general ignorance about asexuality.

1. People who are just generally misinformed about the difference between aro and ace, and who should probably have some idea of what their talkign about before they make headcanons. It’s ok, you can fix that it isn’t a crime not be all-knowing an have a perfect understanding of sexuality.

2. People who infantize Cole, who view him as a literal child. These people are tired of being told that their ableist af, and have realized that most of the fandom sees the problem with calling Cole-mancers “paedophiles”  which I won’t get into rn. So instead they’re using this new fancy excuse, “Cole is an asexual so romancing him is wrong.” So many issues here.

Asexual does not mean unable to feel romantic feelings. It does not mean that Cole can’t be a romance option.

For the second group, I have almost the same message for you. Stop getting personally offended by ace headcanons. They don’t interfere with you romancing Cole. Again, you’re showing a lot of ignorance about asexuality when you do this.

Why is this happening? I think people who ship Cole with anyone gets a lot of slack from other fans. Maybe we’re getting a little frustrated? But it isn’t an excuse. People can headcanon Cole as asexual and it has nothing to do with your romancable Cole headcanon.

The important point here is that asexual people feel love. They can be in a romantic relationship. 

Underneath all of this is an unwillingness to communicate properly, something which seems to be a defining trait here in the Bioware fandom. Stop bullying each other. Stop shitting on other people views and headcanons. Just stop.
It’s actually pretty disgusting tbh, that whenever I think of my favourite character all I can think of is all this negativity. 

Just listen to each other for the love of God, please.

I personally do headcanon cole as asexualy. Actually my exact headcanon is that he is asexual and demi-romantic. And you know what else? I headcanon that my inquisitor gives him a lot of big smooches, and that they hold hands under the trees in the garden at Skyhold and that they love each other a lot. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

tl;dr asexual and romancable headcanons don't necessarily conflict with each other. stop shitting on people’s headcanons. stop fighting. stop doing everythig that involves treating cole like a child. just stop

tl;dr #2 

... another Fandom Rant

I’m honest.

If I read stuff like “I want to kill all people who want to romance Cole”, make name-calling, call us “pedophiles”, “nekrophiles” (inform yourself st a wiki) etc., 

I will put you on ignore.

IT IS NOT OKAY to attack, insult or be aggressive torwards people who didn’t do anything harmful to you with THEIR interpretation! 

It is **not **hurting you in any way. 

It is **absolutely **okay if you want to romance him, if you wouldn’t like a romance, see him as sexual, romantic, hetero, ace, aro, pan, bi, fluid or such or not at all, neurotypical or not, got other conditions, is a metaphor for something or not, make him more human or more spirit and so on.

No one takes something from you with their own thoughts and art.  

Everyone has it’s own headcannon and that’s perfectly fine.Let people have it if it makes them happy, respect and treat the people like you want to be treated even if you do not feel the same about this topic! 

I do not see why it is so hard to NOT attack people?! 

I do not see why you can not hold your fingers still and think that there is a feeling human beeing on the other side, cause unlike a video game we are real and there are no savepoints to undo harm/ damage you did with your attacks (yes, such undeservingly hard words can hurt!).



P.S.: My personal (head)cannon. I made him more human and would really like to see a romance in a DLC or a next installment and see him as pan+demisexual/ pan+demiromatic. And do I hurt anyone with that? Nope! The world is still standing. :)