cold pint

shopping fic for @wellyfullofale because when my wife asks for something, i deliver


Aaron’s got three bags slung over his shoulder, the fancy kind with string handles and branded tape. He’s got a elbow propped on a clothes rails and his phone in hand. This is painful.

“What about this one?”

Robert’s holding up a shirt that look like at least four other shirts be already owns. 

Aaron shrugs, he stopped offering opinions about an hour ago, just to make it perfectly clear that he does not care.

“This one?”

Aaron nods, eyes on the football scores. He could be in the pub right now, ice cold pint in his hand, bag of nuts on the table, top forty playing inoffensively in the background rather than loudly enough to be heard in space.

His head is pounding. This shop smells weird and his back aches. He hates shopping.

“You’re not even looking,” Robert points out, perfectly reasonably.

Aaron nods, doesn’t look. “Looks good.”

That gets him a huff. “Do you want to wait outside?”

Aaron does look up at that. He would love to wait outside. “Can I?”

Robert looks equal parts frustrated and fond, emotions Aaron knows only too well. “Just go. I’ll find you when I’m done, yeah?”

It’s nice out, so Aaron gets himself an overpriced smoothie from the wanky juice bar on the corner, nurses it on one of the stone benches facing the fountain. There’s a couple smoking over to his left; something about the smell almost turns his stomach these days, even though he’d still have one of they offered.

He watches a pigeon do battle with a pizza crust for a while, lets the sun warm his back, listens to the fountain splash.

By the time Robert’s shadow falls across him, he feels almost human again.

Robert’s empty handed.

“You didn’t get anything?” Aaron asks.

“I took the bags back to the car, I couldn’t find you.”

Aaron checks his phone. It’s on silent and he’s got six missed calls. Whoops. “Sorry, I was just,” he waves an arm around.

Robert sits beside him, leaning over for a sip of Aaron’s drink, straw turning pink until he pulls away.

“You get everything you wanted?” Aaron asks, an olive branch because he’s been kind of an arse today.

“Think so. I got you some stuff too.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

Robert shrugs. “Thought you deserved it after surviving the torture of shopping with me,” he’s pulling a face but Aaron can tell he’s only half joking.

And really, he does hate shopping, hates shopping with Robert specifically, but he doesn’t hate Robert at all.

“Sorry. You knew what you getting into when you married me.”

That makes Robert laugh, gets Aaron a casual arm around his shoulders. “It’s what husbands are for, isn’t it? Complaining and holding all the bags?”

Aaron knocks their knees together, slurps the end of his drink loudly just to watch Robert wince.

They’ll get tea now, have a beer and grin at each other across the table. Then they’ll go home, Robert will put on all of his new clothes, look at himself in the mirror while Aaron watches, catalogues the quickest way to get him back out of them.

As days go, it’s not all bad.


Gif source:  ((Unknown))

Imagine Scott is acting really weird and you think he may break up with you, but really he proposes.

——— Request for anon ———

“Just get it over with,” you demand, unable to handle the pity-dinner any longer. Scott looks up at you with a look of bewilderment, causing you to only get more upset as you elaborate, “You didn’t need to cook me a pity-dinner in order to break up with me, Scott. I’d rather you just say it to me and get it over with!”

“Break up with you?” Scott begins, looking utterly shocked. “Why would you think I was going to break up with you?”

“Um, ‘We need to talk,’ doesn’t exactly scream that you’re happy!” you could feel your nose burning with the threat of crying as you reference the text he’d sent to get you here. “Not to mention how distant you’ve been the last couple of days!”

“Distant?” he shakes his head, standing from his seat across the table from you in order to come around and crouch beside your chair, “You’ve got it all wrong. I’ve been avoiding you because I didn’t think I could hold out until tonight if I didn’t, without tipping you off!” Scott laughs, making you become even more confused.

“What are you laughing about?” you huff, crossing your arms in worry.

“You! If you had just waited for dessert,” Scott laughs again, running into the kitchen to grab your favorite Ben and Jerry’s ice cream flavor from the fridge before rushing back to your side. He hands it to you with a grin, “Look inside.”

You do as he says, taking the cold pint and opening it, only to gasp at what’s inside. By the time you look back to him from the engagement ring he’s centered on top of the ice cream, he’s getting on one knee, looking completely amused at the fact that you’d thought he was going to break up with you.

You realize you got this all wrong, “Oh, Scott!”

DIY Herbal Remedies

Can’t wait to try some of these!!


One of the best methods for extracting the more tenacious plant material, such as roots, bark and woody stems is by making a decoction. To make a decoction add one ounce of root/bark to one pint of cold spring water. Bring this mixture to a boil… then simmer for 15 – 30 minutes, depending on strength of decoction desired. Always keep the pot tightly covered. Store any unused portion in refrigerator. Use only glass, ceramic or enameled vessels for your herbal preparations.

To make an infusion pour boiling water over the herbs and allow the herbs to steep 15 to 30 minutes, depending on the strength needed. Remember to keep the container tightly covered during the infusion process.

Solar Infusion
I place my herbal mixture in a large glass jar with a lid. I add cool spring water over this and place in direct
sunlight for several hours. When the infusion has reached desired strength, strain the herbal material from the liquid and store the infusion in the refrigerator.

Lunar Infusion
Follow the above directions, only place your jar of water and herbs under the full moon’s rays overnight. Fresh flowers are quite lovely in lunar infusions. Do not use poisonous flowers! Avoid sprayed flowers. There are a lot of good reference books on edible flowers. Check them out before experimenting. Safe, edible flowers; Calendula petals, Chrysanthemum petals, Dandelion petals, Fuchsia, Hollyhock, Honeysuckle, Johnny-jump-up, Nasturtium, Pansy, Rose petals, Snapdragon and Violets. These are a few of the edible flowers that I use in infusions, salads and other herbal formulations.

Herbal Tinctures
I personally use the old folk method. To make a tincture, fill a clean dry jar one-half way with your herbal mixture, cover completely with vodka, brandy or grain alcohol, adding a couple more inches to allow for expansion as the dry herbs absorb the liquid. Steep in a warm place for three to eight weeks. Shake daily, strain when done and store in a dark colored bottle, label with content and date of preparation. I suggest keeping accurate files on all preparations, there is nothing worse than not being able to recreate a prize tincture. Over the some odd forty years of making tinctures, I have lost a few great recipes, simply because I was in a hurry and didn’t bother to write them down.

Medicinal syrups have been traditionally used for treating coughs, sore throats and digestive problems. Syrups are easy and fun to make. Because of the high sugar content in most syrups they will last for several weeks, if refrigerated. I’ve had a few of my syrups last for months and some of  my students have reported the same results.

To make an herbal syrup, add about two ounces of herb to one quart of water. Bring to a gentle boil, then simmer until liquid is reduced to one pint. Strain, and while the liquid is still warm, add ½ -1 cup of honey (or brown / white sugar or maple syrup.) You may also add six to eight tablespoons of plain or fruit brandy to the your pint of syrup. Brandy relaxes the throat muscles and helps to calm coughing spasms. Bottle for use and store in refrigerator.

Liniments are used for soothing strained muscles and ligaments. Liniments are for external use, and should be labeled accordingly. One of the most popular liniment recipes comes from the famous herbalist, Jethro Kloss. I use this for rubbing on tired, strained muscles after a busy day in the garden. I’ve also noticed that it keeps fleas and bugs off my legs. Combine one ounce of each of the following; golden seal powder, myrrh powder and echinacea, plus ¼ ounce cayenne powder. Place these dried herbs in a bottle and add one pint of rubbing alcohol. Shake this bottle daily for three to ten days.  Strain and store in a bottle.

Salves / Ointments
A salve/ointment, is a preparation that when applied to the skin will remain in place because of its thick
consistency. A salve can be made by first heating one cup of infused oil and  about one-fourth cup of grated beeswax. Stirring gently with a wooden spoon until all of the beeswax is completely melted. Remove from heat and let this mixture cool until you see a ridge forming around the edge of  your ceramic pot. Add a couple drops of essential oils of your choice, blending well. Immediately pour this mixture into small containers and store in a cool dark place. If you store your salves/ointments properly they will last a very long time. I have a tea tree mixture in my herbal closet that is over two years old.  When they lose their color and smell rancid discard them.

A compress is applied directly to the skin to enhance the healing process. To make a compress, use a clean soft cloth made of cotton, linen or gauze. Soak this cloth in a hot infusion or decoction. Place this as hot as is comfortable, without burning upon the affected area. Change the compress as soon as it cools. For a cold compress use  a cold water infusion or cold water with a couple of drops of a soothing essential oil swished around in the water. My favorite essential oils to use are lavender, Clary sage, Chamomile and Jasmine. Remember only one to two drops of essential oil to one cup of water. Make sure you mix the oil and water well. When I’ve had a hectic day I pour some spring water into a lovely hand painted cup, add a couple of drops of  Clary Sage then dip my favorite fine linen handkerchief into the mixture. I wring out the excess water and place this over my forehead. It’s wonderful. I also keep a couple bottles of rose and orange water in my refrigerator, and I sometimes use the waters instead of infusions or decoctions. You can usually find these waters at well stocked Asian stores.

Tisanes / Teas
Place the herbs in a container with a tight fitting lid and pour boiling water over them. Replace the lid on the
container. Allow the tea to steep for five to twenty minutes. Steeping time will depend on herbs/flowers used. Sun tea can be made by placing your herbs in a sun tea jar and pouring cold spring water over the herbs. Place this jar in direct sunlight and let it infuse for several hours. To prepare lunar tea,  place the herbs in an open glass bowl. Cover the herbs with fresh water and place directly in the moonlight. I sometimes cover the bowl with a glass lid to keep the neighborhood  squirrel out. Allow your tea to infuse overnight and refrigerate first thing in the morning.

Infused Herbal Oils
Infused oils are simply wonderful, I use them in making my cosmetic creams, ointments, massage oils, salves, dream balms, shampoos, hand lotions etc. I use either dry or fresh herbs. I find the lighter oils such as almond, apricot or grapeseed oils are the best. If you choose to use fresh herbs, make sure they are completely free of moisture. To make infused oils I simply add two ounces of herbal mixture to two cups of oil in a large glass jar. Cover tightly. I place these jars in a warm sunny spot on my windowsill. Let the mixture infuse for two weeks, strain, adding a fresh batch of herbs to the oil, and infuse for an additional two weeks. At the end of the two weeks, strain the herbs into a new bottle, and store it in a cool dark area. When I’m in a hurry I use my crock-pot. Place the herbs and oil in a crock-pot turn to the lowest setting. Check for overheating and allow this mixture to infuse from two to four hours. Strain the mixture and pour into clean dry bottles. Store your infused oils in a cool, dark place. The left over oil can be pressed from the herbal residue and stored in a separate container, this oil is usable, but of a poorer quality. My favorite infused oil is made by using equal parts of Calendula flowers, Roses, Lavender, Chamomile flowers and Comfrey. Comfrey used as a cosmetic herb,  is reported to regenerate aging skin. To the finished infused oil, I also add a few drops of Blue Chamomile essential oil.

The bloody heatwave, I swear to God– All I wanna do is to hang around in the pub and don’t give a damn about the heat with a pint of Harvey’s and the air conditioner on… and the next thing I know, Mum hands me over the boxes and asks me to help out. I mean, peeps, I love you and all, but it’s not really my job.

There’s always a bright side, right? Ain’t nothing better than a cold, moist air of the basement on a day like this. Yeah, scattered showers my ass. 

pearwaldorf  asked:

Pike and Scanlan. I could see Pike as a slightly more ethereal bard, but I want to see what a cleric Scanlan would be like.

Fun fact, did you know Pathfinder has a diety that ascended to godhood accidentally and continues to spend his time drinking and carousing and telling tall tales?


Scanlan is ten, maybe eleven, when he sneaks in the backdoor of the tavern that will change his like. It’s name, Freedom’s Fortune, sounds like as likely a place as any to try and talk someone into a meal for the night. He’s getting a little old for the ‘poor child’ routine, and in all honesty, it’s only because humans are shit at telling the ages of gnomes he’s been able to milk this as far as he has. There’s a man sitting at the bar, already deep in his cups with half a plate of food in front of him gesturing wildly to an uninterested audience that has easy mark written all over him.

So Scanlan goes up to him, all wide eyes and ‘gee mister’s and ‘won’t you tell me that one again’s and against his own will, gets sucked into the story. Dressed in simple chainmail, the man at the bar speaks with an authority that belies the number of tankards in front of him. He speaks of the freedom of the open road, of the good that a stalwart adventurer could do in the world, of the joys to be found in a good cup of ale coming in off the road, and he does it all with a glitter in his eye that Scanlan envies. 

Scanlan, because he is just a kid and starving, steals a tankard off the bartop when everyone else is looking the other way, distracted by a brawl between the half-orc performer and an unruly farmer.

He tries to pawn the tankard the next day, and finds it returned to his pack by nightfall, his coin purse eight copper lighter. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

how would bakugou and todoroki act if they were both trying to romance the same girl ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (and good luck with the blog!! ^^ ))

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Oh man, these two. It’s basically a silent fight over who could get more praise from you and getting to spend time with you as much as possible with these two as rivals haha

Anywaaaaay… This accidentally became the prompt for my celebrating 300+ followers project? *nervous laugh* In summary, there’ll be four parts, and from part 2 the story kinda branches out depending on your ‘choice’? (But of course you’re free to read both!) That sounds good? Ok? Ok. Enjoy!

Part 1 | Part 2 

Bakugou had as much sense of romance as his temper – or to put it simply, nonexistent.

Todoroki was no romantic, he’d rather freeze himself than say all those popular and cheesy pick up lines.

Funny how the two guys with no sense of romance fell in love with the same girl, who was denser than brick and diamond combined.

“Good morning, Todoroki-kun,” your gentle voice roused him from the hands of sleepiness that had been pulling him down into unconsciousness. He couldn’t believe his luck. To be able to see you the first thing in the morning, and knowing that such coincidence might happen again in the future completely woke his laggy mind.

“Good morning,” he paused for a second and decided to add in a strike of boldness and bravery, “You look particularly– neat– this morning.”

“Thank you! You look as sharp as always. Should we go together to class?”

This had to be because he let that stray kitten finish his lunch yesterday. Good things always comes back to you, they said. This had to be some kind of good karma his mother used to tell him when he was younger.


He could somehow smelt your shampoo as you fell into steps beside him – or was that just you? Do girls normally smell this good? Does noticing this make him a pervert? The calm in your eyes made the slight brushing of your shoulder with his own even more unbearable. He could’ve swore his heart was caught on fire at the minuscule contact, and he really hoped he wasn’t blushing.

Out from the corner of his eyes, he saw a certain blond giving him a death glare.

“Step aside, you idiot!”

You looked positively surprised and alarmed at the urgency in his tone, and Bakugou scolded himself for losing his cool so easily at the notion of you getting hurt by a measly, small, and harmless baseball. Well, not exactly harmless seeing as hair-for-brains had thought it was acceptable to use his own hardened arm as a substitute for a wooden bat, but still.

“Oh, thank you, Bakugou-kun! I didn’t see that ball,” your simple gratitude made something inside him felt mushy and warm all over.

“I didn’t do it for you, airhead idiot! Don’t get too full of yourself!” he bristled, the permanent scowl on his face softened ever the slightest for a drop of second, “Pay attention to where you’re going, nitwit.”

“I will, thank you for the reminder!”

The warmth spread to his cheeks, and his grip on the small white mall crushed the poor sphere. Kirishima yelled in protest because it was his owned item, and Bakugou yelled back shut the fuck up, unless you want a broken baseball shoved down your throat.

Meanwhile, red-and-green eyes watched the scene unfold behind the glass window on the second floor.

It wasn’t surprising to say that the whole 1-A was quite the tight-knit group. There were many factors contributing to this fact: the small class size, the similar goal they shared, the rivalry that sparked between each other, and their numerous encounters with villains, however unplanned, did more good than bad. Their bonds grew even more under the closed dorm environment, and they adapted almost immediately to the change of lifestyle. So well, in fact, that on one particular group movie night, Ashido came back from the bathroom looking sulky and literally announced to the whole class that she had gotten her period and she needed tampons.

The boys seemed horrified and unsure of what to say to that, because really, how were they supposed to respond?

“Uh, would chocolate help?” Satou piped. Ashido beamed. The male population of the class sighed inwardly in relief. At the very least they would get spared from another boring lecture on ‘what to consider when you are living in a dorm with some girls who could kick your asses if they wanted to’.

Jirou offered to give her stash away in a much softer tone, and suddenly Uraraka had an idea.

“Why don’t we all go shopping for our necessities at the dorm? This time, the whole 1-A?”

And that was precisely why you were now standing in the middle of the crowd, along with your classmates – most of them excited, but some seemed indifferent or weren’t too pleased to be here.

“For efficiency, I suggest we split into groups, just like before,” Yaoyorozu suggested, “Who doesn’t really have anything to buy?”

Your hands slowly raised above your head. And so did Uraraka’s, Todoroki’s, and Bakugou’s. The cheerful girl waved and bounced towards you in excitement after you received the shopping list from your class’ vice president. Your other group mates joined soon after, and your small group departed towards the mall’s department store.

“Tch. This is stupid,” Bakugou growled under his breath, glaring at the trolley as if he wanted to incarnate it using his eyes.

“Do you want to switch job pushing the trolley?” You asked, not wanting to make the short fused male do what he didn’t want to do. The fact that he came in itself was already shocking, afterall.

“You have the list. I think Yaoyorozu wanted you and Uraraka to choose,” Todoroki said before his friend could respond, “The both of you would probably do the job better than us.”

“You think so?” You threw a smile at the boy and read over the list once more, intent to do your part as a good dorm mate and missed the spark that seemed to prickle between the two boys’ glare.

“We need some common items for the fridge in the kitchen and restocking the snacks in the cupboard,” Uraraka summed up after she skimmed over the list and led the the group into the store.

The four of you leisurely walked towards the first shelves you saw, picking up things that might be useful for everyone and double checking the list to make sure you hadn’t missed anything. Such a mundane activity would normally be boring, but shopping with your friends could never be boring especially with Uraraka present to brighten the mood, not to meantion you could somehow feel at ease with the two boys guarding the rear, mostly silent but helpful to check the items.

Everything went well until you arrived in the vegetables section. Truth to be told, you knew absolutely nothing about choosing good ingredients, and so did Uraraka who confessed that she would usually just pick the cheapest one. You held a carrot in one hand and was trying to determine whether it was good, but what exactly defined a ‘good’ carrot? You had no idea.

“It’s better to pick the medium sized ones,” Bakugou said, full with boredom, “Thicker carrots are tough and harder to cook with.”

The sudden advice threw you off guard but filled you with relief. “Really? I didn’t know you were so good at these, Bakugou-kun! Then again, I suppose you did handle the knife really well back then on the school trip…”

“I-It’s just common sense, dumbass,” he scowled when you beamed at him. His heart was slamming stubbornly to his ribs and he was holding back the urge to look away from your smile.

“You know, maybe you could help us choosing the ingredients? To be honest I don’t really know what I’m doing,” you scratched your head in embarrassment, expecting to understand if Bakugou declined. But to your surprise he leaned forward to read over the list on your hand and walked over towards the potatoes, easily picking them up and tossing them into the plastic bag.

“Thank you, Bakugou-kun!” You cheered along with Uraraka.

Bakugou smirked as he placed the vegetables into his own trolley. Todoroki’s grip might have tightened a little harder than necessary around the handle, but oblivious to the small exchange, you and Uraraka marched ahead. 

Your steps slowed to a halt however, when you saw the array of fridges containing sweet treats, eyes widening in recognition.

The white-red haired boy noticed this and pulled over on your side.

“Which one do you want?” Todoroki’s hand wrapped around one of the display fridges’ handle, “I remembered you liked this brand’s product. You should pick one.”

You were shocked at the sudden proposition and the fact that he had remembered the small fact you had told him randomly on your mindless chatter with him, “Oh, but won’t it melt? We still need to go to other stores…”

“It won’t. I could hold on to it.”

“But that would trouble you–”

“I don’t mind.”

You gave him a sincere smile and patted his right arm gratefully before pointing towards your favorite pint of cold snack, “You’re too kind. Thank you, Todoroki-kun!”

Despite the ability residing on his right side, the place you touched seemed to burn warmly. Unbeknowst to you, when you stalked off to Uraraka to call her over, the two boys’ eyes met and narrowed in glares, exchanging a silent message.

Neither was going to give up, hell no – this was the one fight they refuse to lose.

Just For Us

Chapter Eleven 

Liam and I took the train to Reading earlier that Friday evening, with Niall driving over later after his scheduled practice ended to meet up with us at some local pub. The festival was the next day and with Liam already having secured two hotel rooms adjacent to each other, we decided to make a longer trip of it and leave a day early, hitting up this nice little grub and pub. Some good food and equally as good drinks, it was nice getting to finally relax and to also see Liam letting loose a bit. It had been awhile since I had seen him like this, a little bit sloshed and his inhibitions down, and it brought me back to when we had first started dating. The thing was, when I met Liam he had just started uni and was a bit of a party boy, his drinking couldn’t match Niall’s by any means, but he sure did try and keep up to the best of his ability. He was loud and fun and silly, a huge flirt with his big doe eyes and heart stopping smile; he could charm the pants off any girl that he wanted.

I guess you could say that’s how he bagged me. I hadn’t had much experience dating guys by the time I decided to move from Birmingham. I had just turned 20, dropped out of uni and left home to try and follow my dream of opening my own yoga studio and quickly fell right into a relationship with him, not even a few weeks after getting settled in London. He was everything I was looking for, everything that I needed at the time. He was sweet and supportive, caring, thoughtful and an absolute joy to be around. He was unlike any boy that I had known back home and that in itself had attracted me to him right away.

I had felt a connection to him that, at that time, I had yet to feel towards anyone else.

Until Niall.

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“Happy Sire day everyone! In order to show your creator how much you appreciate them, why not treat them to a day out at the Old Oil House for a meal and a nice cold pint of energon for free? Better hurry, because this offer ends today!”

Warning: You must actually be a creator or guardian in order to qualify for the offer. Terms and conditions apply.

INTJs at work

I’ve noticed in myself that I tend to act and think differently at work depending on my state of mind. So have a list of what I think are the different types of INTJs in the workplace. Going from what I think is most to least common.

Bored INTJ
The most common state for an INTJ to be in. Nothing has piqued our interests today, we don’t care enough about what we’re working on to give it our full attention but we care enough to get it done in the shortest amount of time possible so we can get back to daydreaming about world domination.
Outcome - Finishes task in record time but it’s nothing amazing, the epitome of JFDI (just fucking do it).

Slightly annoyed INTJ
Still common but not as common as bored. Someone has said something stupid or done something horribly inefficiently or wasted our precious time, they don’t experience that famed INTJ wrath but they are definitely not getting away with it.
Outcome: INTJ ends up doing it themselves whilst muttering under their breath about how stupid everyone else is.

Happy INTJ
Congratulations, the day is off to a good start! Everyone else is late, INTJs email inbox was empty when you got, the HR department hasn’t received a complaint about INTJs attitude in 2 days and as a result INTJ is left to work in peace. Headphones on, volume up. Fingers are bouncing off the keyboard with barely any effort, looks like its going to be a good day, that is, until someone asks you for help.
Outcome - 5 days worth of work gets finished in 3 hours.

Reclusive INTJ
This is when the dominant introvert function really takes over. Normally a sign of stress or over stimulation from external sources (most typical after a long uninteresting meeting) the reclusive INTJ will seek the quietest, lowest traffic area to work in to minimise chances of being approached by colleagues. Do not approach the reclusive INTJ in this state, their bullshit tolerance is very low and even the slightest hint of time wasting will be punished, severely.
Outcome - Everyone asks if INTJ is ok, the person closest to INTJ will assure them that this is normal and to leave INTJ alone. The death stare works on those who don’t heed their warning.

Woke up on the wrong side of bed INTJ
Everyone wakes up on the wrong side of the bed from time to time, but when an INTJ wakes up on the wrong side of the bed watch out. A little ball of rage walks into the office and attacks the first inefficient process that happens upon their gaze. HR receives several complaints that day that INTJ has been insensitive and difficult, even though INTJ was right. Nothing they say is wrong, but poorly communicated.
Outcome - INTJ gets called into the managers office for a training session on respecting others in the workplace. Manager comes out of training session questioning everything they believed in.

Euphoric INTJ
Doesn’t happen very often but something happened overnight to put the INTJ in a great mood, they are focused, determined and motivated. Nothing will stand in their way today, on the way to work they have formulated a plan to get everything done and they’re going to see it through. From the moment they sit at their desk an aura of efficiency radiates, they finish their first 9 tasks before the coffee machine has even warmed up. By lunch they have successfully negotiated the redesign of every process in place and after lunch they get started on implementing the changed.
Outcome - by the end of the day the entire company is 168% more efficient, costs are reduced by 42%, profit is up 18% and INTJ has emailed these facts to their boss.

Warpath INTJ
Oh… Fuck. Since INTJ got in this morning they’ve not said a word, resting bitch face has set in, teeth are grinding and some of the more savvy co-workers have picked up on this. INTJ is not in a good mood, but wait, it’s 8:39am and it looks like Gary from accounts is coming over to ask INTJ if they finished the budget report he asked INTJ to do at 5:59pm yesterday. Oh Gary. You’re in for a world of hurt. An impressive 8 minute long rant about how the INTJ has a life outside of work and many personal comments about Gary’s lack of brain has resulted in INTJ once again being called into another training session on respecting others in the workplace. This time INTJ doesn’t even have patience for the training. Now the HR administrator is crying, the boss is lost for words and and Gary is dead.
Outcome - INTJ is suspended for a week and forced to apologise to Gary. Sorry Gary… Sorry your wife has to live with such a waste of air!

I don’t care INTJ
Monitor your INTJs very carefully, if they say the words “I don’t even care any more” (and mean it) then they are broken inside. The stupidity of the world has defeated them this day, no work gets done, the INTJ spends all day reblogging and looking at pictures of cats wondering how they got so lucky not having to deal with these morons. Nothing gets completed, nobody gets shouted at for being “an inefficient piece of sparrow turd”, and productivity is at an all time low. Partners of INTJs in particular have to watch out for this when the INTJ returns home, despite their hard exterior there is a lot of feels bubbling underneath the surface. Cuddle them, listen to them complain about Gary for 2 hours and watch some dark stand up comedy on Netflix to cheer them up.
Outcome - Company stock falls 8%, INTJ contemplates killing self for having such a horribly un-productive day, INFP girlfriend convinces INTJ that not all humans are bad. INTJ feels cuddly AF but also vulnerable due to high levels of feels.

Hungover INTJ
The rarest workplace INTJ known to man, their passion for their work almost always results in them turning down requests to join the rest of the department down the pub. But it’s been a long day, Gary has pushed INTJ to the limit and INTJ is stressed. Maybe a cold pint might help calm INTJ down. 6 shots of tequila, 9 pints and some green monstrosity called le lendemain matin has knocked INTJ for six. Se has taken over and now INTJ is regretting not listening to logic when the green thing was slapped infront of them. INTJ has “called in sick” an intends to spend the day wallowing in self pity, slowly eating a whole pack of honey roast ham and watching BBC wildlife documentaries in the hope that the animal noises ease the throbbing head.
Outcome - The only outcome was the mid-session kebab at 2 o'clock this morning. Was not pretty, also gave INTJ an idea for a new complaints system at work for some reason.

Not Listening When You Say Goodbye

Originally posted by pewdameron

This is a story that I’ve posted bits of way before, when I was hardly doing anything with this blog. It’s actually twenty-two chapters in, so while I’m not able to spend as much time as I’d like writing new things right now, I’ll share this story with you guys, give you something to read until I can get back on track with everything. This is the first SPN fic I wrote, so forgive me if it is rough in places. Also, @busybee612 made me do it. If you guys don’t really like it, I’ll pull it. 


Summary:  South Mosely has said goodbye to almost everyone near and dear to her. She thought she had gotten used to it, but that was before the lights started flickering wherever she went; that was before a blast from the past came cruising into town in a 1967 Chevy Impala.

Part One: Flickering Lights

Pairing: Dean x OFC

Word Count: 2500

Warnings: Couple of swear words. Dean gets punched in the face. 

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A Hellish Encounter

Starter for @thxtknight

It had been a long, tiring day of collecting souls and seemingly endless paperwork. Eric nearly ran out of his office when his shift was finally over.

Deciding that he’d deserved it, he ported to an alleyway in London, heading for one of his favorite pubs for a cold pint. He paused mid step when he caught a whiff of sulfur in the air. A groan escaped him. Demons? Now? Really?!

He sighed and looked around him, but saw only darkness. “Show yerself, demon,” he growled, fingers itching at the thought of a fight. He summoned his death scythe just in case…