col mustard

Newsies of New I have a story for you.

So my current job is as a waiter at a restaurant that happens to be right by a professional theatre. Sometimes we’ll get the people who do their shows in for lunch/dinner. I always love serving these people because when do I not love talking about theater?

One Wednesday I look in our reservation book and I see that we have a reservation for 4 pm for 4 people. Now 4 pm is a really weird time bc it’s too late for lunch and a little early for dinner, so that time was usually when I would take my food break. So I was already like “ok who’s making a reservation at 4 pm…”

So it’s 4 o clock and the reservation comes in. It’s a man with three elderly women, I assumed his mother and/or his aunts. I was the only waiter there, so I sat them, and as soon as I sat them down, I overhear them talking about the current show at the professional theatre (which was Clue) so I smile and as I go over ready to serve them I say “Are you going to see Clue?” And all the women point at the man excitedly and said “He’s in it!”

So I start talking to this man (who’s name is Kevin) and I find out that he’s playing Col Mustard, and I tell him that I love musicals and that’s why I’m waiting tables so I can move up to NY.

And then.


He asks me…

“Did you see Newsies?”

And I’m pretty sure I looked like I was about to burst into tears as I tell him “It’s my favorite musical!” And as he says that he was in it, I realized who he was.



So my little nerd heart couldn’t take it and thank god I didn’t have any more tables bc I was so engrossed in talking to him about when I saw Newsies and how much I loved it and how much he loved it. And all the while he’s looking at me with a look that clearly said that I reminded him of himself when he was my age.

Unfortunately our talk was cut short bc he had a show to get to and I had a shift to finish. So two amazing things happen:


2.) When he gets up to leave, I shake his hand. I shook the hand of the guy who played Teddy Roosevelt in the Newsies movie. And I fangirled over him. In that moment, I *WAS* Jack Kelly.

That is the end. I’m sorry I don’t know how to end stories I suck at endings but like this was definitely one of the best moments of my life and I love how much he appreciated it and wasn’t freaked out by my fangirling. Like honestly Newsies are the best.

anonymous asked:

Okay, but the crows playing Monopoly, or life. Ooh! HAVE THEM PLAY CLUE

Here’s Clue, with Life and Monopoly probably to follow:

          “Clue,” Matthias stated, looking down at the box left on Kaz’s kitchen table. “That’s the murderer game, isn’t it?”

          “Detective game,” Wylan amended quickly, making a face.

          “It’s the murderer game,” Kaz interrupted. “That’s why we’re playing it.”

          Inej lifted the lid to the game and set out the game board, then shuffled the cards as Nina set out the game pieces. Matthias excused himself to wash his hands.

          “I call Miss Scarlett,” she called, dropping the chip on the board.

          “Mr. Green for me,” Jesper added immediately.

          Wylan made a thoughtful face, “Col. Mustard.”

          “Professor Plum,” Kaz said, snatching the purple piece.

          “Then I’ll take Mrs. Peacock,” Inej grinned as Matthias walked back into the room. She held out the white piece in Matthias’s direction. “That leaves… Mrs. White.”

          “What?” Matthias asked. “Why do I have to be Mrs. White?”

          “ ‘Cause you missed when we were choosing characters,” Jesper nodded sagely.

          The gameplay started with several turns without any so called “suggestions”, but then, Kaz landed in the kitchen and said, “I think it was Col. Mustard in the kitchen with a candlestick.”

          “Nice try,” Matthias quipped, then leaned over and showed a card to Kaz. Kaz made a face and put an x in one of the boxes on his paper.

          The game play continued, with Inej then suggesting, “Professor Plum in the library with the candlestick?”

          Wylan merely shook his head and slid a card across the table. Inej frowned and scribbled a discreet note.

          “What about Mr. Green in the ballroom with the lead pipe?” Jesper asked, scrutinizing the card Nina held out to him.  

          “You think it was your character?” Wylan asked with disbelief.

          “Well, maybe. We’re all capable of murder, and you have the most amazing face. Your skull’d be the prize of my collection, Wylan.”

          Jesper winked dramatically.

          “Don’t philosophize,” Kaz chided drily. “It doesn’t suit you.”

          Each member of the group made multiple suggestions, in turn, and the gameplay continued for some time, until Matthias nodded his head with finality and said, “I have an accusation.”

          “I think it was Professor Plum in the Billiard Room with the lead pipe.” When no one responded or moved to show him a card, Matthias looked down at his cards once more and nodded. He reached to the center of the board and picked up the confidential envelope. The rest of the room waited on bated breath as he examined the three cards inside and then placed them down on the table.

          “I win,” Matthias shrugged, seemingly uninterested, but the smile that he directed down at his hands said otherwise.

          Kaz, looking rather smug that his character had been the murderer, collected the rest of the cards and shuffled them again for a second round. “I think I’ll keep this piece,” he remarked.

Luca would have been more freaked out by the party if she’d not expected something ridiculous to happen. They were Bernard, after all, and frankly everyone was asking for something grisly to happen at a murder mystery party a week after a literal murder. Honestly, she’d said to anyone she’d spoken to at that party how stupid it was. But she was there, dressed as Col. Mustard so she could sell some shitty coke to freshmen and get all the good coke for herself and her friends. She’d considered taking some mushrooms too but she was definitely relieved she’d not bothered considering the events. The thing that was freaking her out the most, though, was that she was in the same costume whoever murdered the guy was, and her only alibi was that she was in the bathroom with a friend snorting a line after spending the rest of the night selling. So. She was kind of fucked. She decided to play it safe. “Crazy that the shit can go on right under your nose, right? One minute I’m dancing to a fucking Avicci song, the next I’m being herded out of the building. The real crime was the DJ putting Avicci on in the first place.”

Fire Extinguishers Are Pretty Awesome / Exciting Fire Trivia

Since everyone and their cousin is passing around that kitchen oil fire eruption video, I thought I’d comment on one thing I don’t see mentioned in all the bazillion and six re-tumbles, namely, the optimal uses of fire extinguishers. 

Although in my day job I’m your literary torturer, on the side I’ve been a firefighter since 2005 (good god, ten years now). Here’s my standard photo of myself doing so (note that while this was live fire, it was also a staged training exercise in an unoccupied house). WOULD YOU TRUST ME WITH YOUR KITCHEN FIRE? OF COURSE! LOOK HOW GOOD I WAS AT STOPPING THIS ONE!

Caveat: What I’m about to discuss applies to fire extinguisher labeling in the United States, because that is where I live and was trained as a firefighter. I cannot vouch for how labels work around the world. I know there are some slight differences, so do a bit of research.

Second caveat: JESUS CHRIST do not throw flour on a kitchen fire. EVER! Flour and flour dust are immensely flammable. Just Google search for “grain warehouse explosion” and “grain dust explosion” and you’ll never be tempted to do this ever again. I’ve also seen some nice Youtube videos of people (in prepared laboratory environments) throwing handfuls of flour over a Bunsen Burner flame for instant whoosh-flash effects. Very exciting! You do not want this excitement in your kitchen.

Okay, the important part: You should have multiple fire extinguishers in your place of residence, and you should know exactly where they are, AND you should place them in areas that are not especially likely to erupt into flame. For example, if you keep a fire extinguisher in a cabinet above or next to your stove, go watch that water-onto-burning-oil video again. Now, be honest, are you really going to be able to even approach (let alone reach through) that mess to get an extinguisher above or directly beside it? No. Your extinguisher might as well be on the moon in such an instance, so pre-position these things more smartly. 

When you look at a fire extinguisher, you should be able to immediately spot a label that has big clear letters on it, for example AB or ABC. These are both very interesting and very important.

You see, in the fire service it’s absolutely critical to identify, as rapidly as possible, exactly what might be burning in any given fire. This is why businesses are required by law (at least until the maniacs and idiots finish breaking down every last concept of useful government regulation) to disclose types and quantities of hazardous chemicals at a commercial site, and to have that information readily accessible to emergency responders. Some burning substances react horrifyingly to the application of water. Cooking oil, for one instance. Large vats of hydrofluoric acid for another. 

The thing below is often referred to as a “fire diamond” or “hazard diamond.” The technical name for it is “NFPA 704 Placard.” It’s a quick visual guide to relevant qualities of a given chemical substance, and in this instance the big W with a crossbar through it means HOLY SHIT DO NOT APPLY WATER TO THIS STUFF. Since our primary approach to firefighting involves spraying high-pressure water at dozens or hundreds of gallons per minute, this is, as the kids say, relevant to our interests.

But I am digressing. You shouldn’t have an NFPA placard in your kitchen unless you’re some kind of comedian or a hot pepper sociopath. Back to ABC. The fire service classifies all types of possible burning substances into just a few groups, and the interesting part is, this system has absolutely no concern for their proper molecular or scientific relationship or any of that foofarah– this system is based on how stuff generally behaves when it’s on fire, and how it can be extinguished.

Class A materials include wood, plastic, rubber, paper, and most construction materials, etc. and are often referred to as “ordinary combustibles” because they really don’t do anything unpredictable and can be relatively easily extinguished with water. Class B fires involve flammable liquid or gas, and can actually be made worse by the careless application of water. Class C fires involve potentially live electrical equipment, and class C extinguisher chemicals are formulated to be non-conductive for added safety.

So there you have ABC… most readily-available domestic fire extinguishers are going to be rated AB or ABC. I strongly recommend having at least one ABC on hand in case you find yourself having to, say, shoot it into a burning desktop computer (as I did some years ago). Also remember that if you have a burning appliance and you can safely unplug it at a distance from the fire, you can then apply a non-C extinguisher to it without any further worry. 

Although you should still exercise extreme caution, an AB or ABC fire extinguisher is immensely preferable to most other approaches (such as attempting to slam a lid down on a wildly out-of-control grease fire, or attempting to fling handfuls of baking soda at it). These devices will allow you to put the right chemicals on the kitchen fire while keeping a safe distance. Distance is your friend. More distance is always more of a friend. Fire extinguisher goop is not a melee weapon. You want some range on that baby.

I should mention two other, rarer fire classes. Class D fires involve burning metals, like magnesium or zirconium. Like oil fires, these can react unpredictably or even dangerously to water. You shouldn’t need a class D extinguisher in any common domestic situation and you won’t even find them on sale in most places, except as a specialty industrial supply. If you have large quantities of Class D material in your house the cast of Person of Interest is probably going to be kicking your door in fairly soon, so you’re not really my problem.

Lastly, there is a newer classification, Class K for “kitchen.” K extinguishers are specially formulated for higher-risk greases and oils. K extinguishers are mostly intended for commercial or industrial applications, like restaurant-sized deep fryers. The good old ABCs should be more than sufficient for nearly any domestic situation.

Now for the most important thing I am going to write all day: If a kitchen fire is well and truly raging, climbing the wall(s) and spreading to the ceiling, don’t be a hero. Get the fuck out. Get everyone in the house or apartment out and call for emergency help. Don’t put yourself inside a room that is rapidly going up in flames on multiple sides, even if you have an extinguisher. Get the fuck out. Your primary duty in a serious fire is to get yourself and your loved ones away from it, alive and uninjured. Fuck everything else. Run. 

If the situation is less serious than that, and you do manage to extinguish the disaster in progress, here are a few final but crucial tips. First, ventilate the area as soon as you can. Open doors and windows. People with breathing difficulties, such as asthma, really should go outside for a few minutes until you can clear the air. Even a little bit of smoke can be irritating, and fire extinguisher chemicals, while not actively hazardous, can be a little annoying, too. They taste like salty dish soap. Try not to breathe or swallow those particles if you can. Salty dish soap. Really.

Once you’ve used a fire extinguisher, even if the gauge still indicates remaining material inside, don’t keep it on hand for future use. Get a fresh and unused extinguisher to replace it. Weird things can happen to the propellant supply of a used extinguisher, and a fire extinguisher without propellant is only useful for bludgeoning Col. Mustard in the Library. Trust me on this, you want your extinguisher to go “FWOOOOOOSH” and not “fppt.”

Last thing (I promise!): After a small domestic fire is extinguished, closely examine the area around it and the area above it. Make sure that flames have not penetrated nearby walls or ceilings. In the fire service we call this “extension,” and locating/preventing it is a major part of our operations. You don’t want to blithely walk away from an extinguished stovetop fire, only to discover that the interior wall spaces of your home are full of flames ten minutes later. In fact, if you have any worries at all about the issue, call emergency services. We check up on this sort of thing all the time, and we have a lot of cool tools like thermographic imagers to locate hidden trouble. You are always better safe than sorry, and I assure you, no matter how tired we look, we exist to be bothered like this. We would really rather spend ten minutes finding no fire in your house than four hours filling it with water and tearing it apart. I suspect you feel the same way. 

I rly hate how in the BBC Sherlock that broken umbrella looking motherfucker is essentially psychic, i know it’s part of the ~essence~ of Holmes and they do it on Elementary etc too but in those it seems more like ~oh you overslept this morning bc ur socks don’t match~ and in the BBC one its ~TWAS COL MUSTARD IN THE SOLARIUM WITH THE SWORD AND COL MUSTARD HASNT BEEN BORN YET NOR HAS THE PERSON HE IS GOING TO SWORDSLASH ALSO YOUR MOTHER WAS A LESBIAN AND YOUR FATHER HAS JUST DROPPED DEAD WHILST TRUFFLE HUNTING IN THIS SPECIFIC AREA OF THIS SPECIFIC FOREST WEARING A BLUE SWEATER LISTENING TO I AM BRITNEY JEAN LET ME DRAW YOU A MAP SO THAT YOU CAN FIND HIM FASTER~