coincidentally i beat the game for the first time last night

All My Friends Are Heathens, Pt.3

Summary: In an alternate universe where monsters roam freely among humans, eight of these creatures group together under one roof. Their newest member, a dark vampire, comes to meet their reoccurring house guest who may be more than what she seems.

Pairing: Vampire!Bucky x Reader
Word Count: 2118
Genre: AU
Warnings: Mentions of blood, sexual content.
A/N: Sorry this part took so long, my dears!! But it’s here now and I hope you like it!

Click HERE for a little more character information.

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 Prequel | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 |

Originally posted by injectablefame712

Originally posted by stfuandkiss

You were only home for a few days when you started growing suspicious of your friends. During your first night back it seems they noticed the connection between you and Bucky. How you seemed to gravitate towards each other, like an invisible force was trying to pull you closer together. But now any time you were just about to make the slightest contact, something would come up.

It started out unsuspectingly enough. You had been alone in the lounge with Bucky the day after your return and he was telling you about his past. Just as the moment was turning a little more heated, Natasha had walked in. She asked for your help and effectively ended your moment with Bucky.

Keep reading

Spring Break (M)| Part 2

Originally posted by minseokhoseok

Part One | Part Two

Word Count: 4,019

Genre: Smut, College AU, filthy smut, Angst  dear lord I’m sorry

Sneak peak - “So you’re really ok with this?” Namjoon raised his eyebrow as he took a seat on his bed, coincidentally the same spot you had caught him in last night. Except for this time he had on clothes and his underwear weren’t hugging his ankles.

What even was sleep at this point? You refused to leave the lounge area, knowing that if you headed back to your dorm, Namjoon would be there waiting there with an excuse he memorized. His shirtless body was ingrained in your mind and you didn’t know if you could look at him the same again. Fucked, that’s what you were.

All you could hear was Namjoon in your ears moaning your name, and by the sounds of it, it wasn’t the first time. Was this what all guys friends did, or was Namjoon just fucked in the head. Technically you were in his head. Oops.

5 A.M came rolling in on a white horse and you were pretty sure that Namjoon was already off to work by now. Exhausted, you got your numb ass out of the chair you been warming since last night and shuffled back to the dorm. You knew you looked a hot mess but you didn’t care what you looked like, only cared about getting out of yesterday’s clothes. The rest you’d deal with later.

Just opening the dorm door gave you flashbacks and you shook them off before heading to the bathroom to take the longest shower of your life before getting ready for class. You still had plenty of time to just lounge around but you didn’t bother taking advantage and you rush out the door once again.

Damp hair and all, you took your time walking to class, taking in more of school than you had before. Of course, after walking like a slug to class you still end up being almost the first there. Taking the seat you had the other day, you sat there with what you wish was a blank mind as you doodled on a fresh piece of paper.

“Is this seat taken?” Hoseok smirked as he pulled out the chair next to you. You gave him a greeting smile as you watched him slide into the chair while dig through his bag.

“So how’d you sleep last night?” he asked while taking out his notebook with a smile

The question itself made you want to crawl deeper into your seat but instead you decided to push the thoughts further out of your head. “Slept like a baby” you quickly lied.

“At least one of us did” he mumbled with a small chuckle that followed.

You tilted your head as you turned more to look at him, “what do you mean?”

“Well, let’s just say… It was hard” Hoseok began rubbing the back of his neck.

You didn’t know what to say as you stared at him blankly, letting his words register. Just then the teacher decided to make his grand entrance. It was obvious by the teacher’s gestures that today was going to be a very long, very boring day in class.

“Hey…” Hoseok nudged your shoulder. “Hey, Y/N - you okay?”

Your eyes blinked open slowly, and you felt your face flush with embarrassment as soon as you realized what had happened. Glancing frantically up at Hoseok, you hissed, “How long did I nod off for?”

He chuckled, “Only a second. I just saw your head bob and figured something was wrong.” He pointed at the lectern where the teaching was introducing yet another series of boring equations. “See? You didn’t miss much.”

You breathed out a soft sigh of relief, but cast a few quick glances around you to make sure no one else had seen your little “mini-nap.” Most of these people were sophomores and you couldn’t count on them to forget this little incident before you arrived as a student in the fall.

As the teacher droned on, you leaned back in your seat, trying to make the most out of “classes” before the College Days Program ended. Beside you, Hoseok chuckled.

“Geez… you look dead. Guessing you didn’t actually sleep either.”

For some reason the question made you blush and you ducked your head down, pretending to be interested in the book in your hands. “Is it that obvious?”

The rest of class went the same way, a whole much of boring lectures that you had already forgotten once the teacher’s words settled in your ears. You could feel Hoseok giving you small glances every so often and you fought to keep yours straightforward - let alone, open.

Soon as class was dismissed Hoseok pulled you to the side. You were both standing just outside the classroom with your back against the wall with him in front of you.

“ So about last night..” he trailed off with a smirk curling around his lips and he scratched the back of his head. “I’m sorry it had to end so soon”

For some odd reason you were feeling bold by his shyness, “it’s fine as long as you make it up to me”

“That won’t be a problem as long as you keep your volume at a level 2 next time,” he joked and you playfully shoved his shoulder as you remembered why all the fun had ended the first time.

“Did you get back to the dorm room ok? I’m sorry I should have walked you back”

What a mess that would have been if he had. You felt your face heat just thinking how what would unfold if Hoseok had walked you back. Before you could even bother answering, you watched Namjoon approached from the corner of your eyes.

He walked directly towards you and you wish you had been invisible but shortly felt Namjoon’s hand grabbing your wrist.

“We need to talk.”

Without any further words, he began yanking you down the hall and you gave a sorry look to Hoseok on Namjoon’s behave while Hosok watches you being forced away in confusion. You were pissed but you expected this to happen sooner or later.

“First of all you look like shit,” Namjoon said over his shoulder as you unlockers the door.

You folded your arms across your chest as you followed him inside, “Wow thank you I’ve always wanted to hear that”


An Awkward silence fills the room. This was totally like Namjoon always changing the subject and pointing out the obvious when he was nervous.

“So about last night, that meant nothing I was just-”

“I got it Namjoon,” you fanned him off.

“Really because I-”

“Dude it’s fine I should have knocked and like you said, these are co-ed dorms anyways so what really is privacy.” The atmosphere was already awkward you didn’t need any reminder of last night when it was still quite vivid in your brain anyways.

“So you’re really ok with this?” Namjoon raised his eyebrow as he took a seat on his bed, coincidentally the same spot you had caught him in last night. Except for this time he had on clothes and his underwear weren’t hugging his ankles.

You cleared your throat, “yeah, we’re friends right?”

He took a short pause, but you couldn’t read his eyes as he stared at you expressionless.

“Yea, right”

“Well good talk, I’m gonna go say sorry to Hoseok again for his rude roommate. Did you really have to make a scene?”

Namjoon scrunched his nose and raised his eyebrow, “Would you have followed me if I hadn’t?”

“Ok, fair enough,” you said with a slight nod.

You both couldn’t hold back your laughs because knowing your stubborn self, there really was no other way to drag you into the room without literally dragging you like he had.

“What are you doing tonight,” he asked out of the blue. You thought it over and as far as you knew, your schedule was clear for the rest of the day.

“You think later we could grab something to eat and rent a movie or something?”

The offer reminded of old times when this was something you guys did together almost every day after school. It’s been so long since Namjoon went off to college first and now that you had the chance to do the old things again it made you smile and without any further thoughts, you nodded your head.

“See you later then,” you said before leaving the room. At least that was finally out of the way.

It didn’t take much to find Hoseok as you first checked the nearest cafe on campus. You caught his eyes and sent him a tight lip smile as you made your way over to him.

“I’m sorry about earlier, Namjoon had something to tell me that probably could have waited, but you know him,” you said as you slid into the seat across from him.

“You sure everything is ok?” He leaned over to peer into your eyes.

Putting on your most natural smile - which, thinking back on it probably didn’t look normal at all - you nodded, “I’m fine.”

He accepted your answer, though he didn’t look completely convinced. A few moments later, he leaned over again, “Isn’t there this huge assembly meeting today for you upcoming college freshman’s?”

“Ugh…” you grimaced. “Yeah, the question and answer thing.”

“Wanna hang out with me instead?”

You giggled at the question as if your answer wasn’t already obvious enough, “Um, duh.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

The room Hoseok had been crashing in while you slept in Namjoon’s room had pretty much the ultimate geek set-up imaginable, for a college dorm anyway. He had a PS4 and XBOX consoles with two separate towers of games, a Wii with its cables neatly folded, and - hell, yes - a Nintendo 64.

“Nope - not kidding.”


Hoseok laughed at your outburst, “Yeah, and he’s got a couple two player games, too.”

He shouldn’t have said anything. In an instant, you were on the floor beside the bed digging through the glorious collection, “Banjo-Kazooie, Super Mario, Donkey Kong, Pokemon Snap, Starfox, Perfect Dark - oh, my God! We have to play this one.” you held up Mario Kart and smiled. “Seriously - I want to do the rainbow bridge course.”

He grimaced, but took the game from you anyway, “I hate this game.”

“What? Why?”

“All the falling off stuff and the banana peels make me rage quite a bit.”

“But you like Assassin’s Creed. You fall off stuff all the time.”

“Well, this is different. Because it’s cute. So it’s more insulting.”

You laughed, flopping on the floor and grabbing a controller. “If you’re going to be so mopey, I’ll let you be player one.”

“Actually… I was wondering…”

When you looked over at him, the soft smile had turned into something almost wolfish, and you felt your heart skip a beat. “Wondering what?”

“Let’s make it interesting. How about…” he hesitated, and you saw the faintest of blushes creep up his cheeks, “… if one of us loses a round, we have to discard a piece of clothing.”

you felt a tingling between your legs, and you bit your lip to hide the satisfaction on your face when you agreed to his terms.

Besides, you were fairly confident in your Mario Kart skills. He was going down.

Sure enough, he was the first one to lose, and off came one of his shoes. you frowned at him, having expected him to start with something a little bigger, but he just laughed, “It’s a shoe. It’s on your body. It counts.”

“It’s cheating.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Well… it’s not fair. You’re wearing socks under your shoes, I just have your flip flops. That’s two extra pieces of clothing for you.”

He winked at you, “Then you’d better not lose.”

It was a challenge, and you knew it. But, you really can’t win against the thunderbolt powerup. You’re not sure how he did it, but he got two of them and managed to win - ahead by two laps. Off came one of your flip flops.

Next was his second shoe, both his socks, your second flip flop, your headband, his shirt…

Whoa… you did a double take when he removed his first “real” article of clothing, taking his taut stomach and muscles. There hadn’t been any doubt before of how sexy he was, but now to have visual proof - you could barely contain yourself. your clit throbbed between your legs, and you felt a blush creep up your cheeks when you realized how wet you had become in the short time I’d been staring.

He grinned at you, and you gulped. If you lost this next one, the next thing to come off would be either your shirt or your pants. And you weren’t wearing a bra.

As we started the next round, nervousness began to give way to excitement, and somewhere after that you stopped caring about winning or losing, or even staying on the track. It was hard enough knowing that a shirtless hottie was sitting next to you and that you had to keep your hands off until the game was over. So, of course, due to your inattention… you lost.

Hoseok set down his controller and nodded to you, “All right - what’s it gonna be?”

You met his gaze squarely, before hooking your fingers under the hem of your shirt and pulling it off. As your breasts fell free of their confinement, Hoseok caught his breath and you heard him swear softly as he stared at you.

“Damn…” he licked his lips. “Those are… I mean, you’re… fuck,” he cursed again in embarrassment. “I’m sorry - I don’t know what to say. You’re so beautiful, and -”

“Are you just gonna sit there or are you going to make a move?” you interrupted, scooting a little closer. He nodded, and you smiled at him.

Yesterday you wouldn’t have dared to ask such a thing. But you were bolder now than you had ever been. And you knew exactly what you wanted.

He didn’t need to be asked twice. Gently, his hands cupped your breasts, his thumbs running across your nipples. You were so horny, and your tits were so sensitive, so you gasped when he took them between his fingers and rolled them back and forth.

Before you had much time to react, Hoseok’s mouth was upon them - licking, sucking, kissing, and you whimpered as sheer desire coursed through you. Somewhere in that last second the both of you just… gave in. The careful young man he had been a minute ago had somehow transformed into wanton rogue that knew exactly what he wanted and how to get it. Whatever had changed - it made you want him even more, if that were possible.

His hands roamed your body, from your cheeks to your shoulders to the dip of your waist, stopping at the rise of your jeans. His fingers slid beneath the fabric and you bit your lip, frantically moving your hands from his broad back to undo the button and zipper of your pants. The moment you was finished, he slid them, and your underwear, off.

you were completely naked, and yet every shred of nervousness you had felt before melted away. you wanted this. You wanted him. And, judging by the bulge in his pants, he wanted you too. you reached for his pants, but he caught your hands and pulled away from you.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, sitting up so you could peer into his eyes.

Hoseok shrugged, “I… I really like you, but… if you’re not ready, we don’t have to do this.”

You almost laughed. Here you were, naked and practically begging to be fucked, and there he was - being chivalrous. It would have been the cheesiest thing, except, from the furrow in his brows and the concern in his eyes, it seemed he really meant it.

It was… unexpected. Sweet.

You have never been good at flirting - all that eyelash batting and booty swaying, it just wasn’t your thing. Whenever you did it, it always seemed awkward and out of place. So you didn’t. And yet somehow, you found yourself alone with this amazing person and you hadn’t even had to pretend to be one of those “sexy, popular” girls. you had just been you.  For christ sake - you’d just been playing Mario Kart, of all things. Who does that?

So, in answer to his question, you just smiled. And you hoped that somehow you could convey in that one smile just how much you wanted this.

It worked. His grip on your wrists relaxed and you pulled yourself free, scooting forward and reaching back down to the button and zipper of his pants. Your eyes traveled down across his chest, his flat stomach, and to the button, you was struggling with. Nervousness more than anything put the slightest tremble in your fingers as you managed somehow to undo the button and pull down the zipper.

Hoseok slid out of his jeans, and you caught your breath at the bulge in his boxers. He smirked a little bit at your obvious gawking and pulled you both to our feet, guiding your hands to the waistband of his underwear, “Go ahead, take them off.”

So you did - slowly and carefully. you pulled the material down his legs and your eyes widened at the monster in front of you.

“Oh, my god…” you breathed, your hands reaching up to encircle his length. It was so thick… It wasn’t as long as you imagined, but it was wider, and so very, very hard. It pulsed beneath your touch and you almost whimpered - you was so crazy wet. Would he even fit in you?

Tentatively, you leaned forward, flicking your tongue across the tip of his cock and felt him shudder. Encouraged, you flicked your tongue again, snaking it across the small opening, and then down the underside. Slowly, your tongue moved back upwards and your eyes met his own just before you slid the head of his cock into your mouth. Hoseok’s breath hitched, and he rested his hand on the back of your head as you bobbed back and forth on just the tip.

“Fuck… yes.”

Feeling a little more daring, you lifted your free hand and grabbed the base of his cock, pumping in time with your mouth. He was more than a mouthful - and that was just the first few inches. But you wanted to try for more, and you gingerly pressed forward, taking him in until it almost hurt. You couldn’t fit all of him in your mouth, but your hand made up for the difference, and you sucked him fiercely until he was panting. On your head, his fingers grabbed your hair - more for balance, you guessed, since he hadn’t tried changing your pace.

Your jaw was beginning to ache, so you bobbed once more deeply and pulled back, smiling at the pleasure written across his face.

“My god…” he managed after a moment, pulling you again to your feet and then pushing you back against the bed. “You’re so fucking sexy…”

Flat on your back, you spread your legs for him, almost aching with how badly you wanted to feel that cock inside of you. Covering your body with his, his mouth reached for one of your nipples while his hand reached down to rub your sensitive clit. you gasped at the onslaught as his fingers alternated between sweet torture and agonizing pleasure.

You were on fire - every flick of his finger brought you closer to an orgasm and you thrust your hips forward at him, begging for more, aching for release. He took his time, however, until he felt your body begin to tense beneath him. You saw something flicker in his eyes as he withdrew his finger, and you whimpered at the mischievous smile on his face.

Before you could say anything, he covered your lips with his and pushed the head of his cock into your throbbing cunt.

The sound you made at the sudden entrance was somewhere between a growl and a groan, and you squirmed beneath him when he hesitated.

“It’s okay,” you murmured. “You won’t hurt me.”

Slowly - oh, so slowly - he pushed the rest of his cock inside of you. you let out a guttural moan, feeling just how very tight a fit he was. As it was, it was uncomfortable for only a few moments, but your cunt adjusted to his girth, and within a few more long moments he was buried all the way inside you.

“You’re so tight,” he said, his teeth gritted.

“Fuck me,” you urged him, your arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him down for a passionate kiss. When he pulled his cock out, you almost cried - it felt so empty without him inside of you- but then he thrust forward again and you whimpered as he once again stretched you out. How could something hurt and yet feel so, so good?

But he was too slow - too nice - too considerate. And you wanted to be ravaged. With a growl, you pushed him off of you and settled on top of him, rubbing your smooth pussy against the underside of his cock. He leaned his head back and groaned, and you held your breath as you plunged yourself down on his massive member.

The pleasure outweighed the pain this time, and a few thrusts later, it was all gone - lost somewhere in a fog of bliss. He filled every part of you, touching places you hadn’t known existed, and you rode him with a furious passion.

“Y/N,” Hoseok grunted. “I’m… getting close. You need to get off.”

You heard him. you really did. you just didn’t care. you increased your pace - your own orgasm was near and you wanted to reach it the same time he did. His hands - when had they reached your waist? - tried to slow you. You could tell he was only giving you a token resistance. If he’d really wanted you off of him, he could have lifted you off of him at any time. But he didn’t, so you didn’t stop. Couldn’t actually.  You were so close…

The next time he called your name, his entire body tensed and trembled beneath you. Long, thick, hot ropes of his cum erupted in your pussy and you screamed as your own orgasm consumed you. Fuck, there was so much cum - you didn’t think he’d ever stop. You almost wished it wouldn’t. Long moments later, you let yourself collapse atop him - panting and trembling. He wrapped his arms around you and held you tightly.

When you both had time to catch your breath, he murmured, “So… we’re good, right? You’re on the pill or something?”

“Yeah,” you chuckled.

“Oh, good…” he smiled. “Because that was amazing.”

“More than amazing,” you assured him, placing a lingering kiss on his lips.

“So does that make up for last night?”

You leaned up off his chest as you looked into his hooded eyes, “you bet your ass it does”

You both dressed slowly, taking most of your time to stop and kiss, or tease each other, and then packed up the games. By the time you were done and looked at the time, it had already been past 9 PM. Where the hell did time go? You said your goodbyes and shared you last kiss before leaving the room and heading to the dorm you shared with Namjoon.

You weren’t expecting to see Namjoon sitting in the dark with only a reading light near his bed on and it almost scared you half to death. You noticed his clenched jaw and the movie he held aggressively tight in your hands when it dawned on you. You had totally forgotten about movie night.

“Namjoon… I’m-” you didn’t have an excuse, you fucked up.

Namjoon sprung off the bed and brushed passed you, not even wasting his time to hear a bullshitted excuse you still tried to think of. He slammed the door behind himself and you instantly jumped by the impact. Just when everything was on the right track again, you had the best of luck with fucking it up again.

How the hell are you going to make up for this one smart one?

A/N- I’m not sure if ill write part three but if I do its more than likely the end of this short series. feedback is encouraged to motivate me to write but PLEASE do not pressure me by asking me when the next part will be out. I get overwhelmed too fam


The Hunt (Ch. 4)

Info: TMR & OUAT | Newt | Word Count: 3,223 | Ch. 4
Summary: At Glader Prep, a group of boys called the Lost Boys have all the girls of the school wrapped around their fingers. They keep a watchful eye over every student, until a new girl moves to town. Intrigued, the Lost Boys begin the hunt for her… Until they realize they might just be her prey instead.

Originally posted by mindent-elbasztam

Originally posted by projectwckd

[ Previous (Ch. 3) ]

Monday morning. You can do this. It’d only take sharply winged eyeliner and one of my best outfits to get me through the day, right? By the time I sat down in my first class, I had already realized how wrong of me it was to assume so. I entered history class with Peter and his friends close at my heel, and as soon as I sat down, they surrounded me. Peter sat behind me, the mysterious blond boy in the hood on my left, and another wide-eyed, curly-haired brunette boy on my right. Coincidental? Probably not. I inwardly groaned, realizing Peter and I had not gotten off on the right foot at the game, and Newt had probably already told him about our argument. The last thing I needed was to be the object of Peter’s wrath. While I wasn’t worried for myself, the idea of being surrounded by him and his friends annoyed me to no end. Switching schools had been no accident – I moved because I needed to restart my life in a new environment with new people; my old life had grown suffocating. The last thing I needed was to delve into this new world of drama. Yet, drama followed me regardless.

“Morning, (Y/N),” chirped Peter with a dangerous sense of happiness.

“Hello Peter,” I called back without turning around, waving my hand by my head at him. I didn’t expect him to lunge forward speedily and take my hand into his. I turned around sharply, surprised by this, but Peter’s forest green eyes were fixated on mine with determination.

He held onto my hand with a surprisingly soft touch. His thumb grazed my knuckles teasingly and my breath hitched. He smiled slightly and spoke finally in a low voice only for my ears, “I’m sorry for the way I behaved at the game last night. I didn’t mean to scare you.” His grip on my hand loosened, but did not withdraw. He watched me intently, waiting for my reaction.

Pulling myself out of my astonished stupor, I drew myself to full height and patted his hand amiably. “I don’t scare easily,” I replied simply, before drawing my hands away and turning back around.

Peter leaned forward, bringing his mouth an inch from my ear, brushing it faintly against my curls. “I find it hard not to take that as a challenge,” he whispered, his raspy voice vibrating against my ear, sending chills up my neck.

I turned my face slightly towards his, yet he was so close to me that my mouth was mere inches away from his when I hardened my voice, “It’s not.” I turned to look at him in the eyes. “You could just make a human attempt at friendship, as is normally done.”

Peter groaned and then grinned wickedly, “But normal is soo boring, love. Why don’t instead,” a mischievous glint flashed in his eyes, “we play a game?”

I raised an eyebrow. “A game?”

Peter nodded. “A game. I am willing to be friendly as long as you promise to keep a secret.”

I crossed my arms skeptically. “And what’s the secret?”

Peter leaned in closer. “You’ve gotta come closer, love, so no one overhears.” I roll my eyes and stay put, refusing to play along. He compensated by bringing his cheek next to mine, the hair above his ear tickling me as it danced along my temple. “A friend of mine rather fancies you, but is just too shy to admit it. Promise me you’ll be kind to him, no matter what, so as not to hurt his feelings.”

I drew back suddenly, expecting this to be a joke. Why did I even bother listening to him? I couldn’t trust anything that came out of his mouth. Yet, my heart couldn’t help but skip a beat instinctively, in hope… “Who is it?” I burst out breathlessly.

Peter smirked. “I think you already know. Who else? Newt.

My throat tightened, and my stomach turned. “I highly doubt that,” I replied emotionlessly.

Peter wagged a finger at me. “Uh uh. I told you this in confidence, why would I lie? I’m many things,” he smiled smugly, “but I’m not a liar. Now if you can keep this secret, and not judge him so harshly, I can keep you out of the net of the rest of the Lost Boys, namely myself.”

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever keeps me you out of my hair.” I was beginning to turn away before I added in a whisper, “I still don’t believe you, but I’m okay with keeping a fake secret, whoever it benefits.” I tossed my hair over my shoulder, and though I tried to focus on the lecture ahead of me, I couldn’t help but roll Peter’s words over in my mind. Promise me you’ll be kind to him… Newt. I didn’t trust Peter, and this could turn out to be one big practical joke on me. Yet, I found myself willing myself for it to be true, even though I hadn’t forgiven either Newt or Peter for their erratic and rude behavior. Lydia was right. I should’ve just avoided them from the start. What have I gotten myself into?


“If you see her, just apologize,” Minho insisted in an worn out tone. Newt had been mulling over his fight with (Y/N) all morning, and Minho feared he would never hear the end of it.

Newt’s head jerked irritably. “Why should I? You know that she started it first, with her judgy comments and looks.” Newt slammed his locker with excessive force and glared at Minho. “You know, who does she think she is anyway?” he burst out suddenly.

Minho gaped at the usually fairly pleasant British boy in disbelief. “Ooookay, don’t apologize then. But you should probably avoid her altogether.”

Newt frowned, as they approached their drama classroom. “Can’t. We have to act together, remember? I swear if she actually tries to practice today…”

Minho shook his head earnestly, as he struggled to convince Newt to change his mind about (Y/N). “Don’t blow off the play, man. Take this as a chance to be nice to her and make her feel welcome again.”

Newt smirked darkly, a better plan coming to mind. “Actually, I’ve got something else in mind. I’m not losing that bet to Peter, but there’s no way in bloody hell I’m going to change myself just for some girl who doesn’t like me as I am.”

Minho and Newt both sat down in their seats next to each other, but Minho leaned over and whispered fervently. “Just don’t be a shuck-face to her, okay, Newt? She actually seems like a really nice girl.”

Newt grinned. “Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle,” he remarked wickedly, aware Minho understood his true meaning. His smile was cut off short as soon as (Y/N) walked into the classroom. Today her green top was bringing out the color of her eyes, which looked a deeper shade of green than ever today. Her hair was lazily curling and flowing around her, framing her delicate body. She looked meaner and yet more striking than ever. Newt suddenly worried that she would still be upset with him, and wouldn’t speak to him at all. For some reason, he hated the idea of that.

But when she sat down, she picked the seat behind Newt again, even though there were plenty of other open seats left. Maybe it was her way of trying to make friends again, or maybe the opposite, to show she wouldn’t back down? Newt shook his head, trying to make sense of his cluttered thoughts. He was absentmindedly shaking himself free of them when he heard his name. He wheeled around in his seat slowly. (Y/N) looked up at him when he turned to her, but he saw that her eyes were softer than before. Don’t think she’s mad anymore, he thought cheerfully, despite himself.

“(Y/N),” Newt uttered the name in a low, husky voice, unable to keep himself from softening towards you.

“Yes?” (Y/N) asked lightly.

Newt blinked at her for a second. “You called my name first.”

(Y/N) looked at him dubiously. “No, I, uh, didn’t.” Shit. Did I just imagine her calling my name? Newt thought worriedly. A confused look covered his face. (Y/N) noticed, so she desperately changed the subject, laughing inwardly at the thought that perhaps Newt was just trying to find a way to talk to her. “But, um, are we still practicing our lines today?”

Newt shrugged, not meeting her eyes. “Not unless you’ve found better company,” he said quietly.

(Y/N)’s eyes flashed with hurt while Newt wasn’t looking. “Erm, no, but if you don’t want to –”

Newt cut her off by smiling charmingly, drawing himself to full height. “Why wouldn’t I want to seize an opportunity to spend time with the lovely (Y/N)?” he asked rhetorically, though (Y/N) couldn’t help but notice a hint of sardonicism in his tone.

(Y/N) let out a disbelieving puff of air, looking at the blond boy testily. “You weren’t being so affectionate last night.”

Newt raised his eyebrows. “Actually love,” he corrected. “I believe you were the one who started it,” he stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

(Y/N) leaned forward, trying to lower her voice so no one would hear. “Only because you give me a reason to question you, over and over again.”

Newt glared. “You don’t even know me.” He forced himself to soften his expression again, though. He had to keep reminding himself of his bet with Peter… if (Y/N) hated him, it would be like handing her straight over to Peter. He couldn’t have that. “Perhaps you should spend more time with me to actually get to know me. Come over, tonight, and have dinner with me.”

(Y/N) stared at the boy for a second, taken aback. Did he just ask her out to dinner? Of course, it was only because they had to act together… “Uh yeah, sure, what time?”

“Six o’clock. We can practice before and then eat. If you give me your number I’ll text you my address.”

(Y/N) nodded and pried the pencil Newt was twirling subconsciously in his hand, surprising him with her boldness yet again. “You’re welcome,” he joked laughingly.

Scrawling her number on a piece of paper and tearing it out before handing it to Newt, (Y/N) grinned and jested back, “And you’re welcome, too.”

Newt couldn’t hold back a giggle at that, and (Y/N) looked at him for the first time with an appreciation of how cute he could be. His little laugh was so soft compared to his often harsh words, and his voice was made more husky and mature by his British accent. Newt was a conundrum, no doubt, but she knew there was so much more to learn about him than he seemed to want to let on. Suddenly, she found herself anticipating dinner more than she expected.


“So tell me, what is the story behind the ‘Lost Boys’?” I popped a grape in my mouth and looked across the lunch table at Lydia curiously.

The strawberry blond pursed her lips, as if wondering where to begin. “It all started with Peter. His friends gave him the nickname “Peter Pan” a few years back due to his… ah… liberal tendencies. He gained the admiration of boys and infamy among girls; his reputation precedes him, and yet, every girl wants to be with him, and every boy wants to be him.”

I was unsurprised with Peter’s loose behavior. He certainly seemed like someone who held nothing back; one would think, though, that eventually he would be old news. I wondered how it were possible for someone like him to not be collectively despised by everyone around him. Then I remembered how intimidating he had been at the game the night before… No one had ever frightened me so. I snorted scornfully at the thought that, of course, someone like Peter had to rely on fear to control everyone around him. I shifted thoughtfully, “So where do all his friends come into this?”

Lydia rolled her eyes. “Friends? Other than the handful of ‘friends’ he has, the rest can all safely be called ‘followers’, like Felix and Baelfire. But of his friends, there are none left untainted. Gally is the school bully; while Peter terrorizes girls, Gally terrorizes boys, but not in that sense. Thomas is often the leader of all Lost Boys operations, so while Peter can claim to have slept with almost every girl he lays eyes on, Thomas can say he was the mastermind behind it all. Though, don’t get me wrong, he’s been with his fair share of girls, and even tried to play me.”

My eyes widened. “Really, you? What happened?”

The other girl seemed annoyed just thinking about it. “He had chased me for years, and when I finally fell for him, he didn’t care anymore. He just enjoyed the chase, and nothing else.”

I nodded, realization dawning on me. “No wonder you were particularly sassy to him. I noticed.” I winked and smiled. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I can genuinely say that I think your comments successfully get to him.”

Lydia flashed a victorious smile with her red lips. “That’s the hope.”

I laughed, but then remembered there was more I wanted to know. “So, uh,” I started shyly. “So what about Newt? What’s his story?”

Lydia paused thoughtfully. “As far as the Lost Boys go, he is the most agreeable. But he’s damaged goods – a few years ago, his parents got divorced, and he was dragged through the court and was put through hell for many, many months. He came out of the trials a changed man. That was when he met Peter. For that following year, he was just as infamous as Peter. He hurt a lot of people, lost a lot of friends. I can’t say that I was particularly forgiving, because after the whole Thomas thing, I couldn’t see how Newt could be any of their friends anymore. But the one person that stuck through his side was Minho. Minho refuses to identify himself as a Lost Boy; he’s different. And if it weren’t for his loyalty and friendship, I fear Newt would have ended up in a much worse place than he actually was in. But this year things have been quiet; Peter has taken the spotlight and Newt has slowly drawn into himself again. I don’t think he will ever be the same again, though.”

I swallowed slowly. I hadn’t touched my food once while Lydia spoke, entranced. I wonder why his parents were divorced? Why was it so messy? I was no stranger to parent problems; I itched to ask Lydia more about Newt, but remembering what he was like, I figured he probably talked to no one about it anyway. I didn’t speak to anyone about what I went through with my parents. It made me uneasy, though, thinking about all the things Newt did in his angst and grief. I wonder what he was like. I suddenly felt like there were so many versions of Newt I hadn’t met, and I wished I knew what they all were like. The more I thought about him, the more intrigued I became. Perhaps dinner will spark meaningful conversation between the two of us, I hoped.


I was running around the house half-dressed and in a frenzy, my hair still damp from my shower and my clothes strewn across my bedroom floor. I knelt on the floor and threw aside clothes frantically in order to find something nice to wear. My eyes fell on a plain, silky white dress that would hopefully look casual but pretty. I quickly threw it on, ducked into a gold necklace with a pink stone pendant, and started on my makeup. I kept it simple, with foundation, a tinge of blush, mascara, and a rosy lipstick to finish it. I didn’t want to seem like I tried too much; even though in reality, I probably was overthinking every little thing. I hurriedly flung my bag over my shoulder, stuffing my script, phone, and keys into it before finally running out of the house and towards my car.

As soon as I turned on my car, my phone rang. I checked it and saw it was Teresa, my best friend. I smiled and picked up. “Teresa! Nice timing, I just started driving.”

I could hear my friend’s light, tinkling laugh over the phone. “Ooh, on your date with this mysterious Newt?”

“It’s not a date!” I protested loudly, glad she couldn’t she the reddening of my cheeks.

She laughed at me, clearly not believing a word, no matter what the truth. “Mm-hmm, alright. Well if he’s an ass to you today again, I’m coming right over to deal with him myself, alright?”

I smiled at her sweetness. “I wish you could come over anyway.”

She paused for a second. “Me too. I’ve missed you since you’ve left.”

I sighed wistfully. “I’ve missed you too. But I really needed to get away from that place, you know? And anyway, Glader Prep isn’t so bad. And I’ve started to make friends, I guess. I just don’t really know anyone here, so it’s hard.”

Teresa understood. “I know. Well then, that’s why Newt’s gonna fall in love with you and introduce you to all his friends and all will be well, right?”

I laughed, shaking my head. “I can’t believe you just said that. Truthfully, I think all his friends are kind of jerks to everyone, but… I dunno why, I actually like them, in spite of it all.”

“You and bad boys,” Teresa said warningly. “It’s gonna get you in trouble.”

“I dunno why, I can’t help it!” I insisted. “But don’t worry, I’m not stupid. I’ll be careful,” I added smilingly.

I pulled up into Newt’s street and saw… Only one mansion. My jaw dropped. “Umm…” I said nervously, checking the address Newt texted me again. “I’m pretty sure I’m in the right place but…” I muttered to myself.

Teresa overheard. “What’s wrong?” She asked.

I bit my lip. “I think Newt literally lives in a mansion. Did not see that coming.”

Teresa burst out laughing. “How am I not surprised though? He dresses nice, has a British accent, is well-mannered - well, most of the time - I mean come on, it makes total sense!”

I groaned. “No, there’s no way I’m going in there. I’ll just call and cancel.” Too late. The gate buzzed and opened for me. Great, he must have seen me. I nervously pulled up on what seemed like a mile-long driveway, past elegantly engraved fountains and stallion statues and trimly cut lush green bushes until finally reaching the front of his house, where I parked my car.

“Okay, I gotta go now, I’ll talk to you later, okay?” I said to my friend.

“Okay, but tell me everything afterwards!” I could practically see Teresa jumping up and down excitedly. I smiled at that, nerves calmed a bit, and exited my car to walk up to his house.

[ Next (Ch. 5) ]

You need me, I don't need you

I finally got around to writing another thing in the series of blurbs /loosely/ based on + by Ed Sheeran. This one is a further stretch from the actual song, but after listening to it this is the idea I came up with, doing one with boxer!luke just for a bit of variety. I must warn you a) I don’t know anything about boxing lol b) it’s kinda long so grab a snack. Okay, enjoy. And if you haven’t read it U.N.I can be found here, and part 2 to that here

You were stood blocking the door of your boyfriend’s apartment, arms crossed as you acted petulantly. “You’re going to make me late.” He groaned, head falling back in frustration. “I know, thats the point” you sneered, lips turning up into a sickly sweet smile. “Why do you even want to come anyways, you hate even just the idea of it. You’ve explicitly told me so several times.” His hands were out in front of him now, laughing at your audacity to demand he take you to his match when you’d bluntly brushed the idea aside the few times in the past, much to his delight. That and the fact that you thought you were any match for him. You were so small compared to his tall stature that he could pick you up and place you out of his way within seconds, not the he was going to try it, he knew better than to play the height card. Last time it had earned him a swift but light shove followed by a very long weekend of the silent treatment. “Well I changed my mind!” You huffed, “I’m a woman, it’s my prerogative.” Your sudden stubbornness, although cute and somewhat hot, was beginning to get on his last nerve now. He took a deep breath as he brought his fingers up to pinch the bridge of his nose, hoping he wouldn’t come to regret this. “Fine.” It was barely more than a grudged mutter but it was enough for you, cheering enthusiastically as you hopped out of the way, even opening the door as you waited on him to lead the way. 

“But you do exactly as I say and stay behind the scenes at all times, understand?” He instructed, adjusting the duffle bag on his shoulder as you both made your way to his car, eyes hard as they showed just how much he wasn’t fucking around. You rolled your eyes, nodding obediently. Having never been to one of his fights before you assumed he was just overexaggerating, that ever present need to keep you safe - sometimes overly so - flaring up. “Yes, yes, I get it. Even if I did try something though there’s not a lot you could do is there? You’ll be too busy getting your ass handed to you in the ring.” You winked, grin wide as you held back your laughter. Before you had a chance to make your way to the other side of the car, his hand was on your hip, finding yourself pressed between him and the car in an instant. “You underestimate me on two accounts,” he began, tone so low it sent tingles down your spine, “the first being that you think anyone would be able to stand in my way should I find out you were in trouble.” Being pressed so close you could feel his heart race at the thought, yours doing the same given the intensity of his words - you had no doubt he was telling the truth. “The second being you thinking I’d even come close to having my ass handed to me,” his features lifted, a cocky smirk now painted across his lips as playfulness twinkled in his eye as he leaned back slightly, arms wide. “I’m at the top of my game babe, there’s no stopping me.” You rolled you eyes, finding yourself laughing along with him. Leaning forward he pressed a quick kiss to your cheek and temple before turning your hips as a reminder for you to get in the car already, not missing the chance to swat your ass quickly as he did though. “In fact, if I weren’t so preoccupied planning the best way to keep you safe on such short notice, I’d be more bothered about the fact that you coincidentally find an interest in my occupation just as I start gaining some momentum. A damn glory hunter, that’s what you are.” He teased further as you both slammed your doors shut.

 The car ride was unusually silent for the two of you, both caught up in your own thoughts, coincidentally each being about your significant others. For him it was the internal struggle of trying to get into the right mindset for fighting whilst also trying to figure out what to do with you whilst he was at work in the ring. It wasn’t exactly the best crowd of people, he knew that and be was sure you did too. You were feisty, never backing down to anyone and he loved you for it. But it also gave you a warped sense of believing you could take on anyone if the circumstances called for it, which was fine if you were on a night out and a girl threw a nasty comment your way or if a customer was rude to you at work, but this was different. It wasn’t the most legit of businesses, probably why the money was so good, but this also led to attracting not the most legit people and it had his mind running with all sorts of situations you’d get yourself into and he couldn’t be there by your side while he was fighting, he couldn’t be throwing glances your way every other minute - that’s how people got beat. 

For you, your thoughts had been mulling your mind for sometime now, finally pushing you to take action. Indeed, he was at the top of his game at this point, you’d been with him for just over year but had known him for much longer and it had always been clear that he was skilled in his craft, finally to get some of the recognition he deserved. He’d worked hard to get to where he was now, gathering followers due to him being the next “up and coming” star, but lately things had been changing. Stricter diets consisting almost exclusively of meat because his manager told him so. His tried and tested training regime extended even further than ever including such highlights as 5am runs every morning and practice at the gym most nights til the wee hours leaving you with barely any time to see him because his manager told him so. You’d also noticed that he was coming home in a worse state than he used to, taking longer to recover even after fights he’d won most likely caused by being stupid with his tactics and there was no doubt in your mind that his manager had been behind that too. The infamous manager, whom you’d only ever seen from the window if he came to pick Luke up due to the incessant need he had to keep you separate from his livelihood, also happened to be his coach. He had been since Luke was little, but only in the last few months with his career taking off had he began to take on the role of manager too. Luke adored him, you knew that and consequently knew better than to try and bring up the issue with him knowing it would just cause tension between the two of you, which was why you had decided to meet the man yourself, see him in action to decide if you were right or not. You knew it all felt a little Nancy Drew, like you were going to catch him in the act of physically taking a larger cut of Luke’s money - which you were also sure he was doing, but the thought of someone taking advantage of that kind nature he kept hidden away for the few loved ones he let in made you want to pull on a pair of gloves and go a few rounds yourself with the culprit, not wanting him to lose who he was under the trust he put in his mentor.

Keep reading

Yellow like Star

The flowertown is strong in this color au fic.

The existence of close bonds between friends allowing people to see a very small part of the color spectrum wasn’t a new thing for Luke. He had plenty of close friends in his life. Hanging with Hidden Block in their club room allowed him to see more color than before, probably because he had so many great friends in one place.

The world painted in yellows, greens, and blues. A real helpful palate when it came to them designing their patch. He enjoyed it.

More than that he enjoyed making new friends.

So when Hana joined Hidden Block he was ecstatic.

Now he had two friends in class with him it was great!

Keep reading



Genre:  fluff

Word Count: 3.5k (dang)

Warnings: swearing, pre smutish

A/N: I had to chose between writing 3 mini prompts or this big one so  i took one for the team and wrote this last night (yes i was up past 2am on a school night i was basically a zombie today) thank you guys for everything as usual. Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes, it was late okay ugh. ((((I NEED PROMPTSSSS))))

Disclaimer: I set this up in the mindset of 2009 phan but you don’t have to envision i that way. 

Fridays were always the same for me, in the sense that the routine stayed constant. Straight after school I would bike back to Sarah’s house. I specifically hung around her house so often because Sarah’s brother sometimes would make an appearance downstairs and it was a spectacle I could not miss. Phil Lester was an artifact and I prayed day after day that I would get the opportunity to uncover him. He had black hair, a slim build, and contagious laughter. I’d planned everything out in my head; I was 16 and Phil was 18 making everything perfectly legal, Phil was signing up for media classes this year and so I did too in hopes that our paths might cross and we would coincidentally end up in the same class.

“Oh just hurry up and pick a song already, Dan,” Sarah’s sweet voice sounded out from beside me. She was a nice person all around. She had copper colored hair and freckles that covered the bridge of her nose.

Without thinking I selected a random Linkin Park song and picked up my fake drum sticks. Guitar Hero was one of my favorite games and sometimes I swear I’ve dreamed of playing out my favorite songs whether it be on the drums or guitar.

“Bleed Out? Really?” A sultry voice rang out from the stairway. Over the banister peaked Phil’s black hair and barely visible were the slits of his blue eyes.

“Go away!” Sarah whined again and I wanted nothing more than to strangle her.

“Hey I live in this house too and sometimes I want to focus on my homework not your stupid friend’s horrible taste in music,” he shrugged and started to make his way down the stairs, to the kitchen.

“I picked this song at random!” I yelled out to him but all Phil did was turn around and snigger back at me.

“Whatever you say baby face,” he gave me a sarcastic wave and left out the kitchen back door. I was blushing like mad and it took everything inside me just to concentrate on the beat and follow the rhythm as best I could. In his eyes was I just an immature child? Maybe the fact that it was a Friday night and instead of being out and partying, Sarah and I were playing a game that used fake instruments.

“Why don’t we do something fun,” I said once the song came to a stop.

“What do you mean? This is fun!” Sarah went to go pick another song but I stopped her.

“Sarah it’s a Friday night and we’re inside,” I rolled my eyes. “Do you really want to spend this whole year playing video games and eating copious amounts of junk food?” Though my body screamed yes and nearly dragged me back down onto the bean bag chair, I stood my ground and waited to see a reaction.

“Fine,“ she said simply and went to turn off the console. "Since when do you want to go out to parties?” She raised a knowing eyebrow and pulled out his cellphone.

“Hey PJ…No we’re just looking for a someplace to be…I don’t care if he’s there since when did he decide where I could and couldn’t be…We’ll be there in 10,” she hung up the phone and nearly dragged me out the door.  

“Where are we going?” From what I could tell we were walking down the street to a close destination but I couldn’t remember anyone in my grade who lived on his block.

“We scored ourselves an invitation at an actual Year 12 party,” Sarah looked quite smug at that moment and the only thing I could concentrate at that moment was the fact that we’d managed to get into one of the most high-ranking parties possible. “PJ said a few others from our grade were invited but don’t be surprised that the place is crawling in upperclassman.” I just nodded before we arrived at a house similar in size to Sarah’s. The outside porch was strewn with people and even in the evening light, you could visibly see the bodies pressing into each other in what looked like a passionate makeout session.  

We managed to bypass them and make our way into the crowded house. Almost immediately Sarah disappeared off to find her boyfriend, PJ. Sometimes I felt guilty having a crush on her brother. Despite the bickering and banter they are actually fairly close. I felt my stupid crush would get in the way of the dynamic and there was no room for me to come between that.

“First party?” I whipped around to see Phil, drink in hand, eyeing me up and down. “You’re not drunk yet.” His observation was blunt and soon after a drink was thrust into my hand.

“I just got here,” I explained and eyed the drink wearily.

“Exactly, drink up,” he grabbed another drink from a random guy in a green t-shirt. “I remember the first time I went a whole party drinking.”

“How was it,” I’m pretty sure this is the most we’ve ever talked in one go.  

“It was hell,” he downed the beer and suddenly I was aware my own bottle still hadn’t been drunk from yet. “That’s why I’m here to be your personal guide to your first party.” I knew I was blushing but I blamed it on the warm room and surrounding bodies.

“Your first mistake was going to a party way out of your league,” Phil laughed at me and his tongue made a brief appearance. Cute. “Maybe next time you should stick to lowerclassman parties, okay?”

“Sarah dragged me here I would never agree to go here willingly,” I tried to point her out in the crowd but she was nowhere to be seen. “I don’t really know anybody here.” Phil grabbed hold of my hand and led me to the kitchen, a quieter place.

“Why don’t I take you home?” His face showed concern and that was defiantly the last thing I wanted. I couldn’t be seen in his eyes as the boy who couldn’t stand five minutes in a party before quitting and having to go home to his mommy.

“No!” I said a but too quickly. “I mean no, you said you’d guide me through my first party. So…guide away.” His signature smile was back and he led me back into the main part of the party. A few girls greeted Phil with flirtatious smiles and fingers that traced over his jaw and chest. Jealousy kicked in and I found myself dancing against him- borderline grinding. His face turned paler yet he danced alongside me before the girls went away.

“What are you doing?” he said in a low cool tone.

“Dancing,” I tried to act innocent but Phil wasn’t having it.

“Well that’s enough dancing for tonight because it seems like you’re not properly buzzed and we need to fix that,” he led me back into the kitchen where a cooler was filled up with assorted alcoholic drinks. “Take a swig – it’s going to be a long night.”

If you just give it a chance, loving you is not my plan
‘Cause I know one day you’ll see

I woke up with absolutely no recognition of where I was but all I knew was that I was uncomfortable. Taking a brief overview of the room I couldn’t tell what the wall color even was because it was covered completely in posters and post-it notes. The bed I was laid in was comfortable and a glass of water was on the bedside along with two tablets that I assumed were for me to consume. The thing making me so uncomfortable was the fact I’d fallen asleep in my skin-tight jeans and my phone had dug deeply into my thigh. There was a sudden wrap on the door followed by the all too familiar thick northern accent.

“Are you decent?” Phil called out before opening the door slightly.

“Yeah,” my voice was scratchy and I desperately needed water. “Where am I? I don’t remember anything past my first drink.” He chuckled and moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Yeah you’re a lightweight,” he mumbled before gesturing to the room. “Welcome to la casa de Philip!” Of course, I chucked internally, this was such a Phil room. Movie posters that covered every wall, stacks upon stacks of CD’s labeled with bands I found myself relating to.

“You know we’re actually pretty similar,” I shrugged. Way to be casual, Dan. I cursed myself at the general creepiness of the statement but Phil seemed unfazed.

“Oh really,” he looked off to the right. “To be honest all I really know you as is the only guy who is genuinely my sisters’ friend and isn’t trying to get into her pants.” With that I broke into a fit of laughter which must’ve confused Phil.

“I’m gay silly,” I hoped this wasn’t the moment where he yelled and cursed for me to get out of his room.  

“Well then Dan, since it’s confession o'clock,” he breathed in for a moment. “I’m bisexual.” I nearly wanted to scream in excitement with the possibility he could be sexually attracted to me. This day was only just beginning and it was already looking to be my best.

“This is too early to be serious,” I jumped up from the bed despite my crippling headache and sore muscles. “I need toast and tea, right now.” Phil nodded and went downstairs to prepare it while I went to go take a shower.

I’d stayed at Sarah’s house before and I generally had a systematic routine for the mornings and was surprised when I saw PJ exiting the bathroom, clad in nothing but a low-hanging towel.

“Did I just see you coming out of Phil’s room?” PJ teased. He knew about my crush and would stop at nothing to humiliate me.


“Yes,” he insisted. “Wow Dan, how do you do it? One day you can’t look him in the eyes without stuttering and the next you’re having adult sleepovers!” I smacked him on the shoulder and checked to make sure Phil was still downstairs and couldn’t hear anything.

“As if you should be talking! I can tell that you and Sarah sure had some kind of night,” I winked at him and now he was he one who was blushing. “If Phil sees you up here or figures out about this, he will beat you to a pulp and you’ll never be able to walk again.” With that PJ’s eye widened and he scurried into Sarah’s room to quickly get dressed.

My shower was blissful and sweet; I had a good wank to thought of Phil this morning. He was so sweet and caring then, but I knew there was a naughty side to him, masked by his natural charm and kindness. I stepped out of the shower and made my way to Phil’s room where I hoped to get dressed. Phil was sat on the bed with 2 plates of toast beside him, a mug on the nightstand, and holding his own mug of coffee in one hand.

“Took you long enough,” he smirked making it clear he knew what I had been up to. “Your tea is getting cold, might want to hurry up and get changed.” I started to panic, I hadn’t planned on staying the night thus I had no clothes to change into. Phil immediately picked up on my discomfort and threw a pair of joggers at me that he’d found on the floor.  

“There’s shirts in the dresser behind you,” he smiled again before leaving the room.

All the things that we can be

I left two hours later and made my way home. After being lectured by my om for not calling home, I secluded to my room where I spent the afternoon mindlessly browsing the internet.  

After a couple of hours of scrolling through Reddit, the familiar ping of my phone sounded beside me. NEW TEXT MESSAGE: 03069 990204 “hey u were pretty funny last night. I had a good time!”

I double checked the number through all my IM chat rooms and came up blank, I had no idea who this guy was?

Who is this?

don’t tell me u already forgot me :’(


it’s phil remember???

Nope doesn’t ring a bell?

I can’t tell if ur being a twat now or u actually forgot me

I’m always a twat :P

wow the tongue emoji??? Save it for the second date!

There would have to be a first you know Philip.

tru. im too lazy to move so that’ll never happen

You’ll never know what we could’ve been!

2 bad. so sad. idc.

Your text speak is horrible for a person who hope to major in English linguistics…


You told me that this morning! You kept rambling on about poor grammar usage and how it made you want to bang your head into the wall every time you’re on Tumblr.

oh yeah, now I remember.

Well how did you get my number you stalker.

my sis being your bff has its perks what can I say. not everyday you get a hot guys added to your phone.

*gasp* Are you flirting with me!

no. im talking about the picture of Channing Tatum I just downloaded, don’t be conceited.  

Ohh well now you’ve hurt my ego

I’ll be leaving now

So long

see if I care


no but we should hangout sometime?

Now you’ve got my interest….

how about we meet at the buffet

You don’t want to see me at a buffet.  

oh the horror! how about a café? ik a great place that serves the best croissants.

Fine but you’re paying

Well you know it’s got to be, something wonderful to me

We had a great time hanging out, just as I’d feared. It was now pretty obvious that we both felt a sort of attraction to each other but the hesitance was obvious as somehow Sarah gravitated into every conversation and they were reminded of what they were doing. At the end of the “date”, something Phil insisted we call it, he gave me a peck on the cheek and went back to his car but not before I could see his flushed cheeks. I spent the night chatting with PJ who advised me to confront Sarah but I couldn’t find it in me.

“What do I tell her?” I joked. “Oh hey Sarah, I fantasize about your brothers’ dick on a daily basis, hope you’re okay with that!” PJ laughed but we both knew the reality of the situation. Sarah wouldn’t be happy and losing my best friend just to get the by of my dreams didn’t seem like a fair trade.

If you just give me some time I can open up your mind

After a couple of more real dates the time came when we both had to confront the situation.

“Phil we’ve been on over four dates and I think it’s time Sarah knew,” he froze up at that and both his arms fell to the side. “We can’t keep pretending we’ve never talked before when we see each other in the halls  and Sarah is nearby.

"Fine,” he huffed out. “Just give me some time to process it, she means so much to me.” Phil dropped me back off at my house and this time instead of the usual kiss on the cheek he pecked me on the mouth. It was short and sweet yet I could feel his arms snake around my waist and pull me closer. He gave another kiss, this one lasting much longer, more passionate than the last. I could feel our lips move in rhythm almost like a beat. I opened my eyes briefly to see his eyes closed and his black lashes contras with his almost sheet white skin. I moved my hand through his hair, it was softer than I thought and smelt of dry shampoo. I noticed the scent of his aftershave too, it was musky yet comforting and I honestly wished I could smell him all day. We must’ve been snogging for a while because my dad cleared his throat behind use.

“If you could come up for air for a second,” he snickered and looked Phil over. “Don’t you dare hurt my son or so help me God, I will hurt you.” With that he left and effectively killed the mood.

“Thanks for tonight,” I smiled up at him and looked him in the eyes. I still could not believe I’d shared my first kiss with Phil Lester.

“No problem,” he gave me final peck on the cheek and turned back to his car. “Sweet dreams.”

…baby just give it some time

The next time I came around to Sarah’s house, PJ was there. Phil was sat on the recliner near them and they both gave me a knowing smirk. He mouth “it’s time” and I knew that today would change a lot of things between Sarah and I.

“Hey,” I sat down on the couch, sandwiched between PJ and her. “Can we talk?” She muter the television and turned to look at me.

“Phil shoo,” she waved him off with her hand. “Be gone.”

“No, uh, Phil should stay,” she looked confused yet accepted it and gave me her full attention. “The thing is, Phil and I haven’t been completely honest with you…”

“We’re dating!” Phil blurted out and all the attention shifted to him.

“Very funny,” she chuckled and turned back to me. “ Now what’s the actual thing you want to tell me?” After a moment of tense silent and PJ muttering under his breath about how he’d predicted it, she finally understood.

“No this can’t be happening? What if you breakup and I have to choose sides?” She pulled at her hair slightly. “How long has this been going on for?”

“Since the party a month ago,” I spoke so softly I was afraid she wouldn’t hear me. I couldn’t tell her emotion right now and that scared me. She did a great job at masking her emotions, no wonder she wants to be a cop.

“I honestly don’t know what to say,” she paused for a moment and looked between Phil and me. “Congratulations?” She forced a grin onto her face but I could see the cracks and how it faltered.

“We promise we won’t make you choose sides in the case we do break up,” Phil eased the awkward silence and laughs were squeezed out of everyone.

“I’m applying for uni right now,” Phil twirled a piece of my hair between his fingers. “I’m looking for a place near Manchester though. I want us to be near each other still.”

“Manchester is your home too,” I added. “All you’ve ever known.” Phil laughed and kissed my cheek. He turned to get off the couch but I pulled him back down by the waist.  

“I want proper kisses,” I tried to wink and be sexy and by the growing bulge in Phil’s jeans I could tell it was working. I moved my hand under his shirt and started to pull it over his head.

“Wait,” Phil paused and listened around him. “I think Sarah’s at PJ’s but we should move this upstairs.” This was exactly the way I wanted to lose my virginity; with the man of my dreams.

“I’m ready,” I said as we walked up the stairs and into his room.  

“Have you never done…this before?” he suddenly seized on top of me and stopped with the trail of kisses he was leaving down my neck.

“I-I-I have not,” I blushed and glanced down at the trial of hickeys already forming on my chest.

“I will be gentle I swear,” he leaned back down and kissed me and suddenly the passion was back.  

And now that’s it’s over, I’ll never be sober
I couldn’t believe, but now I’m so high

“Come on Dan pick up your feet,” Phil rolled his eyes and tugged the mat up the hill. “If we don’t get there in time we’ll miss it.” It’d been 8 months since we’d started dating and so far there weren’t many hitches down the road. Of course there would be at some point, but so far we posed to last a long time and seemingly, as everyone said, we were soulmates.

We laid at the top of the hill and watched the day dissolve and the sky darken and we were cast into the nightly show of stars.

“Wait for it,” Phil said obnoxiously and a few moments later a dozen lanterns illuminated the ground below them.

“What are they doing?” I stared in awe as people danced and singed, all while waving their flag in the air and proclaiming scripture into the night sky.

“It’s a Nigerian festival,” he held me close in the July heat and I could feel his heartbeat quicken. “I know it’s beautiful but the best part is they’re just celebrating being alive. I researched into all of the Igbo culture and I want to do it for my college thesis.”

“Alive,” I repeated and he nodded approvingly. We sat in a comfortable silence for awhile. Taking turns glancing between the starts and the dancing lights below.

“I got accepted into the University of York today,” he whispered. I went to congratulate him but something about his facial expression told me to stay quiet. “We’re a flame you know that, right?” I nodded because it was true – our relationship could burn so many people.  

“We can’t be extinguished,” I said after some time. “I don’t care if you move to fucking Antarctica, I will make us work because there is no way we’re going to be snuffed out like this. This is just a flicker okay? We’ll only be less than 2 hours apart…”

“I’ll make the drive every weekend if I have to,” Phil pouted and we both agreed because we all knew he would. “I-I think I love you.” He fidgeted nervously with his hands and this was the Phil I loved the most; quiet and reserved.

“You’re so stupid,” as we sat and watched the festival thrive on beneath us. “But I think I love you too.”

Now I’m so high.

naruhina; light the night

prompt: festival (D-13)
rating: K+
a/n: i think this is my longest entry so far. another au, although a more depressing one compared to my other fics. enjoy!


“A beautiful thing may not be perfect, but it still takes your breath away.”


Though his memory may fail him at times, he could easily recollect the time he first laid eyes on her with ease.

The main streets of Konoha morphed into a vibrant atmosphere of excitement as the residents of the village bustled about, indulging in the assortments of activities and delicacies offered by the merchants and vendors scattered around. Some with lovers, some with friends, some with family, some alone yet all with wide grins etched on their faces. Everybody truly elated the festival they waited for annually finally happening – the well-known Konoha Lantern Festival that managed to attract a wide audience with its unique purpose.

Naruto happened to be an exception, acknowledging himself as a rare one that was rather disinterested with this festival, preferring instead to entertain himself with other occasions. Somehow his friends had convinced him otherwise, an instant regret as he found himself stranded all alone, abandoned the second his pals set their sights on the attractive women roaming around donned in their traditional attire.  

With a scowl and curses under his breath to his so called companions, he decided to at least take the chance to look around, hands stuffed inside the pockets of his orange hoodie with his beanie holding down his unruly golden locks from the calm howl of the night breeze. Children continuously ran about him, letting their youth shine as they became enthralled by the engaging decorations hung across the area, setting an amorous ambiance filled with intimacy for the people to bond over.  

In each hand of each person, lanterns of various sizes were held, lit up and prepared to be set off to the dark abyss of the sky above. Chatter regarding the wishes written on these lanterns floated around him, natural seeing as that was primarily the attraction of this festival. The concept of instilling a wish on a burning object that would be thrown up into the air in hopes of the wish floating high till it reached the heavens so God would be able to grant their inner most desires was what mainly drove the interest of the audience to attend this festival.

Naruto wasn’t much of a believer in such tales, but little did he know she would change that.

The blaring sound of what he assumed was a horn echoed throughout the venue, alarming everyone to prepare for the countdown to start. The young blonde watched as pairs of people started huddling together, furore evident on their features as their eyes gleamed at the lanterns in their hold, some even linking arms to supress the over excitement in casting the objects up into the sky. A voice booming through the speakers started the countdown, preparing everybody for the awaited moment.

3, 2, 1

His heart froze.

For before his eyes, stood a woman with incomparable beauty.

The fluorescent glow emanating from the hundreds of lanterns surrounding them illuminated her silhouette perfectly, giving him a magnificent view of the alluring young lady in a simple lavender yukata with an equally simple flower ornament nestled nicely between her dark tresses standing only a few metres away from him.

He drowned in mesmerisation by the image of such a piece of artistry who had on a beautiful smile as she watched the lanterns flying high with glee, her eyes never leaving the wondrous sight above her as much as he couldn’t avert his attention anywhere else.

As the lanterns continued rising, he found his heart soaring along with them.



Fate played its role, dropping the dice on the board game that was his life, allowing him to make his move.

To his delight, the refined woman from the festival happened to be a friend of Sakura, who also happened to be a good friend of his too. Without hesitation, he requested the unthinkable, asking Sakura if a possible gathering including the charming girl could somehow be organized, emphasis on the attendance of the person that plagued his mind for the past few days since he last saw her. So many nights had passed with him envisioning meeting her again, imagining the sweetness of her voice that would complement her angelic form perfectly, the desire to discover the story behind the beauty.

Sakura fulfilled his wish, but handled it her own way.

“Umm… Sakura-chan told me she couldn’t make it today.”

Naruto almost paid no attention to what she had informed him, finding himself more transfixed by the delicate sound of her voice. It was lighter than he had thought, feeble as her appearance, though she still looked as radiant in a casual loose dress with a cardigan wrapped around her petite frame. Now that she was standing at a much closer distance, he noticed the extent of her frail demeanour, her beauty masked by a hint of fragility that made him feel afraid she would shatter if he stepped even an inch close to her.

His mind finally took in the meaning behind her words, gritting his teeth at Sakura’s blatant evasion to give him what he had truly wanted, alone time with this enchanting girl – his inner self feeling more gratitude than resentment for his pink-haired companion. “O-Oh, umm, well, looks like it’s just the two of us then,” he said with a light-hearted tone, ruffling his blonde locks nervously, suddenly finding himself unprepared for what laid ahead despite his heart pounding at the opportunity to spend a day with her.

After introducing each other brusquely, they decided to just take a walk first before choosing their first activity, an awkward silence looming over the more they walked. Naruto noted she wasn’t much of a social butterfly, her face avoiding his glance often, with her motions seemingly unsure on how to react to his attempts at small talk. It was almost as if a huge wall blocked their interaction, her anxious side putting up a strong barricade to prevent him from breaking into her protective shell too much, a challenge he willingly wanted to overcome so he could uncover the true self.

He knew of a way to start, coincidentally, her stomach grumbled, much to his amusement watching her try to cover it with stammering.

“Fancy having some ramen? I know a really good place nearby.”

She hesitated slightly but her shy exterior melted with her lips curving into a gorgeous smile, nodding curtly. “I’d love to.”

He swore he could feel himself falling more for the enchanting enchantress that was Hyuuga Hinata.



It didn’t take him long for him to wreck the shields she had used, his persistence paying off as after a few weeks of consistent meet ups and brisk coffee sessions to get to know each other better, she had agreed to his invitation to an actual date and they began a new journey as a budding couple. There was an unfortunate catch to what could have been a perfect addition to his life.

Hinata had a terminal illness that ate away her lifespan day by day.

To say he was surprised when she had first told him, no, warned him was false, he felt himself being more sympathetic than anything, because she herself was clueless on the time she had left before this parasite of a disease took her away so she did not wish to promise him a fairy tale ending to their love story. Instead of feeling intimidated, it did nothing to drive away his intention to stay by her side no matter what. In fact, it enhanced his urge even further.

Ever since then, Naruto made it his mission to ensure every single day he spent with her was worth her time. He spoiled her with meaningful gifts prepared with love, entertained her with little surprises that set her heart aflutter, proclaimed promises of an everlasting affection for her and showered her with physical tender gestures that proved his desire for her.

They fell into a cycle whereby all that existed in the world was each other and Naruto wanted to make sure he made her remaining days an unforgettable memory shared with him.

However, although her heart still beat loud and proud for him, the weakening state of her body existed as a painful reminder of the cruel truth for him. Moments such as when she needed to excuse herself to expel the food she had just consumed, the sudden migraine attacks that were strong enough to force her collapsing to the ground instantly, the fainting colour of her skin losing its life as more time passed by, only further swallowed him from the inside at how helpless he was to cure the pain eating inside of her. Seeing her struggle with her battle against this illness as he sat by the side lines impotently killed him bit by bit.

Hinata being the sweet person she was, attempted to ease his worries, constantly emphasizing for him to focus on the brightness of this dark situation, no matter how dim it may be. So that’s what he did. He thrived his best to make her forget all about her sickness, enveloping her in a warm love meant to last with gentle promises of a future they could build together while they could.

His mouth forged images of a happy ending that he continuously fed her, which she ate wholeheartedly, not caring about the bitter taste of the lies ruining it.

“Naruto-kun, do you have something impossible you’ve always wanted to try?”

He glanced down at her, nestled comfortable in the crook of his arm, her delicate hand placed over his beating heart as she relished in the feel of its rhythm. To conserve her limited energy, they both decided to enjoy spending time together simply in the comfort of his apartment, basking in the calm atmosphere whilst indulging each other’s company and just share whatever was on their mind.

“Hmm,” Naruto thought deeply, stroking his chin. “Nothing that I can think of right now. Do you?”

Hinata smiled, her fingers drawing lazy circles on his shirt, her breathing content with the feel of his strong arm protectively around her frame. “Don’t laugh, but I’ve always wished I could fly.”

He smirked. “That really is impossible.”

She giggled softly before continuing. “I bet the feeling of flying is amazing. Imagine soaring through the sky with no worries, nothing binding you down, nothing trapping you. You’re free to follow the wind, free to go as high as you want… and nothing can limit you.”

She looked up at him, her eyes gleaming with earnest. “That’s why I love the lantern festival so much. Seeing those lanterns fly high up to the sky, carrying the pure wishes of people, I’m a bit jealous of them.”

He understands the dilemma behind her confession, yet he knows he can only comprehend only a fraction of the misery she’s going through being stuck in a body that was withering away with every breath she took. His grip around her tightened, his lips seeking hers, wanting nothing more than to kiss away her pain – because that was all his pathetic self was capable of doing at that point.

“But… ever since I met you,” Her voice turning raspier. “I get that feeling. Somehow, you make me feel that way. You make me feel like I’m flying.”

Her hands snuck under his shirt, hotly caressing his burning skin, his hissing of pleasure from her light touches fuelled her to continue.

“So promise you’ll be with me till the end.”

He hushed her, his lips begging for her not to utter such words as he moved their position, lowering her down onto the sofa while he began covering her with desperate kisses, attempting to make her forget all about the harsh reality and focus simply on his utmost love that might be enough to guide her to fight harder for her life.

Because that’s the only thing he can do for her.

He wanted to be the light in the darkness of her future, no matter how dim it may be.



Seconds turned to hours, days turned to months, and seasons turned to an entire year.

Hinata had fallen to her lowest point.

The doctor ordered her under permanent bed rest, concerned that further strain to her crumbling body would cut the days she had left even more. It had been a brutal curse for her to have her energy to even lift a finger dissipate from her body bit by bit, and Naruto could only watch brokenly as his lover started shattering into pieces, even the strength of his love wasn’t enough to rid the effects of the illness away.

So he focused instead on what he could do, and god damn, he would do his best to keep that smile on her face.

He entered her room in the hospital, putting on his usual bright grin for her, no matter how difficult it actually was for him to hide behind a false mask of pretend happiness – especially when he saw her body being strapped to machines like a soulless puppet that merely existed. Hinata turned her face slowly to him, the tiniest amount of life returning inside of her when her eyes met his. “Naruto-kun.”

Another piece of his heart chipped off upon hearing how tired her voice had gotten.

He walked over to her, kissing her forehead as tenderly as he could, following the doctor’s orders of being extra gentle with her fragile form. He sat beside her, as she immediately demanded to know the current happenings of his life as well as the outside world. Natural, considering she was forced to be imprisoned in this room for weeks already, he could only imagine the torment of being motionless with no hope of ever stepping outside again.  

“I have a surprise for you,” he spoke softly, one of his hands letting go of hers to reach for his bag, the other still clinging to it like his life depended on it. Hinata watched curiously through hooded lids, wondering what he was rummaging through his bag for when he brought his present out for her and her dying heart clenched at what he was holding.

A handmade lantern, similar to the ones she always saw during the festival she loved so much.

“It’s not perfect,” he admitted with a cheeky grin. “I’m not the best at crafting, but I still tried.”

Hinata shakily moved her hand to reach for it, Naruto already meeting her halfway as he helped her wrap her fingers around the object, her eyes staring at it with fascination. “It’s beautiful.”

He smiled seeing her cheeks flush with a hint of red, returning some life back even if by a little. The annual lantern festival was actually a few weeks away but seeing her condition and the doctor’s estimation on how much time she had left, it would be a true miracle if she could make it to see the lanterns herself. He didn’t want to take the risk, he promised to keep that smile on her face till the end after all. “Let’s light it together.”

Before she could argue, Naruto was already helping her off the bed, gently detaching the cruel machines off her and carrying her bridal style – his mind lamenting over how light her frail body had become. He brought her over to the chair near the windowsill, landing her slowly before opening up the window wide for her. Her tired eyes managed to take in the astonishing view of Konoha at night.

He lit the lantern, watching her face glowing along with it, her pale lilac irises mesmerized by the burning object that brought so many emotions through her. Her hands began to shake but she did her best to hold on dearly to it.

“Make a wish,” he whispered. She took a moment, closing her eyes as she thought deeply about her inner most desire. He took that time to appreciate the beauty of the withering flower before his eyes. After she was done, Naruto placed his hands over hers, helping her direct the lantern outside of the window and gently, she let it go.

They watched as it floated perfectly, slowly beginning to rise higher and higher with each second. Although Hinata’s attention was fully on the lantern, Naruto became engrossed with watching her. It was almost as if he was transported back to when he first saw her, how her face was filled with so much life as she smiled brightly seeing the lanterns float towards the never ending horizon of the sky.

Yet the difference now was the way her body trembled as she tried to muster enough energy to continue seeing her lantern off with tears streaming down her eyes.

For once, he let her cry, let her be vulnerable, let her show her weakness because she deserved to, after putting up a strong fight against an impossible battle that had attacked her from the very beginning. It didn’t matter if she fell down, for he would be right there to bring her up as many times possible. No matter how much she would shatter, he would patiently put back the pieces and make her whole again. No matter how drained she got, he would be there to be her pillar and hoist her up with his undying love, standing beside her till her final breath.

She turned to face him with a tear-stained face, wearing the same smile he first fell in love with. “Thank you.”

Even if it was for a second, Naruto was able to feel truly happy.



The streets of Konoha was bustling with excitement, patrons dressed from traditional attire to casual wear roamed around with bright grins, lanterns in hand. The annual Konoha Lantern Festival graced the village once more and this time, a bigger audience came to participate. Naruto walked nonchalantly, the smell of delicious treats sold by vendors as well as the warmth of bonding between families and lovers filled the ambiance, making him appreciate the nature of this festival even more.

In his hand, a lantern ready to be sent off.

The familiar siren rang, causing people to prepare themselves to launch their lanterns into the air, the similar sight of pairs huddling and linking their arms together as they excitedly got ready to send their wishes to the sky above.

He too got in position, holding dearly to the burning object.

3, 2, 1

He set his lantern free, watching as it started to float above, joining the others and creating a beautiful imagery of the fire of people’s hopes and desires illuminating the darkness of the night. Flashes of the first time he saw her, the first time he fell in love, sped through his mind. He could never forget how pretty she looked, how alluring she was, even till her last breath, he thought she was the most perfect being ever. Now, she was joined with her fellow angels, looking down at him with hopefully that smile he missed so much.

It felt like it had been forever, but a genuine smile stretched across his lips.

‘I hope you got your wish of flying, Hinata.’

As though she was answering, his lantern flew higher than the rest, soaring to the heavens above. 


previous day // next day

The Worst Thing I’ve Ever Said

This is the story of the worst thing I’ve ever said.

It was a joke. Well, it was supposed to be a joke. Immediately relax. What I said was no shade of offensive, it was not racist, sexist, or derogatory towards giraffes.

The worst thing I ever said was such because of timing. It was a bad time for a joke. I shouldn’t have said it. 

Every person I’ve ever told the story to responds the same exact way: they half-smile despite themselves as they rub their forehead and say “Anthony…”

Before I tell you what I said, there are some things you should know.

Mom is an earnest woman of small stature with the resolve of a 25 year old trying to find communal importance through Facebook statuses. She tries her best and relentlessly wants to let you know she is. Sad story short, she was regularly abandoned by her troubled mother and father and didn’t grow up with much genuine parental love. Mom is equal parts tough, sweet, and naive. She also can’t take a joke to save her fucking life. Her devotion to being a good mom and person sometimes makes her gullible or insusceptible to sarcasm. She’s been the perfect audience for my bullshit for 29 years, and not once has she ever suspected she was an audience member, even when she was physically sitting in the audience while I performed on stage. For example, her response to that last sentence would be something like “No! I know when I’m in the audience at a show you are performing at!” Mom sold makeup at Macy’s for about twenty years and she always looks beautiful. With or without product. She goes to church every Sunday and prays for me. My mom is four foot eleven, loves Barry White, and eats cookies with milk in the middle of the night. That’s my mom. Mama Shelly. Michelle Ann Apruzzese.

I think what attracted my mom to my dad was that he was sixteen years her senior and generally knew his way around life. He was both her husband and a father figure in the least creepy way possible, you asshole. Dad was many things: a bookie, a U.S. Army Ranger, a horse racetrack enthusiast, a hairdresser for Carol Burnett, a bartender, a plumber for the Jersey City Board of Education, a baseball player, and for all intents and purposes, the love of my mother’s life, the love of my brother’s life, and the love of my life. Dad was the heart and soul of the Apruzzese’s of Bayonne, New Jersey. He was an accessible, kind, understanding, and incredibly smart man for someone who only graduated elementary school. Above all, he was consistent. He was always there. With every year that passes and the further away from him I become, the more I love him. Dad never sat me down and gave me life lessons but I have an endless well of knowledge I’ve gained from him that will guide me through the rest of my life. Dad wasn’t preachy. His approach to life was the same as the great philosopher Rick Ross: “Don’t talk about it, be about it.” Countless times I saw my him do the right thing, even when doing the right hard thing was hard. I never saw the seams on him, I never knew if he had any doubts. If he felt bad, he never took it out on anyone or even let us feel the pressure of his feelings. I don’t know how he did it. He was also very fucking funny. All of his jokes followed with laughter. Not once did I hear him explain “what he was going for.” For example: my brother, Joe, came back 20 pounds heavier after his first two months away at college. When dad saw him he said “Jesus, Christ, Joe, you put on some weight!” My brother, in an effort to save face, lied and said “what are you talking about? I just lost 10 pounds!” Dad replied, “Where? At a crap game in England, you fat fuck?” Laughs. All the laughs. That’s my dad. Big C. Carmine Romeo Apruzzese.

You might have just thought to yourself, “this is nice but, what the fuck does this have to do with the worst thing he’s ever said? Oh, nice, a box of peach iced tea Snapples!” Relax, I’m getting to it. Open up the box of peach iced tea Snapples, take out each one and throw them in the garbage. Peach iced tea Snapples are terrible. Especially if you don’t realize they’re peach until after you get a mouthful of it’s awfulness. I imagine it’s a similar feeling that heterosexual men have when they pick up what they think is a female prostitute but later, after it’s already too late, find out it is a man in drag. That’s right. I imagine the feeling is the same. I wouldn’t know. Is your palate cleansed from my sincerity yet? Good. Now let’s dive back in.

To get a proper understanding of why what I said was the worst, you needed to know the key players and my relationship to them, which you now do. I’ll never forget the date of the worst thing I’ve ever said. It was September 30th, 2008, the day my dad died. I remember the day incredibly well. I had just graduated college a few months prior and didn’t have a day-job yet. I was still living at home and making pocket money by bartending three nights a week. On that particular sunny day, I woke up around 11 then watched “The Untouchables” starring Kevin Costner, Robert DeNiro, Sean Connery, and a young,  tight Andy Garcia. After that, I went to lunch with my friend Pat (which given how the day transpires, refuses to get lunch with me to this very day) at a place we frequented. A place in Jersey City called, coincidentally, Carmine’s Italian Deli. Ugh. I ate the day’s special for lunch: ravioli parmigiana. This was the first time I had ever heard of/violent consumed ravioli parmigiana. Essentially, it’s a bunch of raviolis, which are pasta-cheese pockets, covered in marinara and, get this, more cheese. After I over-ate, Pat was driving me back home when I got a call from my brother telling me to head to the school my father worked at because something “had happened.” At the time, my brother didn’t know dad had died yet either. As Rob Zombie has said (at least once in his life, I’m sure) “ignorance is bliss, Dragula.”

Second we pulled up to the school, knew something was wrong. There was a police car (key indicator) parked outside. I ran into the school and was cut off by a police officer who asked me who I was and I told him my name. His response was something I’ll never forget. He put his arm around me, lead me inside and said, “Anthony, we’re gonna have a bit of bad news for you.” This, of course, went down as the biggest understatement of 2008, merely edging out a thirteen year old’s science project that year entitled “The Sun is Good.” Once I got in the school, I saw my cousin Vinny (yes, I have a cousin Vinny and YES he is Joe Pesci), who’s a detective in Jersey City and he let me know my father had passed of a heart attack. I was the first of my immediate family to find out. They let me see him. He had died in the supply room in the basement of his job.

Job. My dad died at his job. I can’t type that without crying. When I went into the supply room I saw him laying on the floor. I asked my cousin, the other cop, and some paramedics to leave me alone with him and they abided. I still can’t get over the unfairness of it all. Not for me, but for him. My dad died alone on the unswept floor of an elementary school supply room. No pillow beneath his head, no loved one by his side, he deserved better. He deserved the best because that’s what he was. But man, that’s life. This is how it goes: unexpected and grossly not what we had imagined. Unfair. I approached his body. Rested on him was a generic looking, thick, pale sky blue blanket the had paramedics placed on him. It covered him from his ankles to the clavicle. His left arm lay against his side and his right arm was outstretched, pointing nine o’clock. I try not to think about why his right arm was like that. However, thoughts creep in my head that paint a picture of him struggling hard, reaching for life but coming up empty. It’s hard to imagine him like that because I never saw him struggle in real life. I grabbed his left hand. I could feel the life leaving his body as I promised him, through tears, that I’d try my best. Only he and I really know what that means and only he and I know if I’m keeping that promise. I did him a favor and the world a disservice by shutting his coffee with milk brown eyes for the last time. My dad, the heart of the Apruzzese’s of Bayonne, NJ, had beat for the last time. That’s when my brother arrived and got his bit of bad news. Shortly thereafter, the hardest thing I’ve ever witnessed happened. Mom got there. She knelt beside her dead husband, the father to her children and in some respects her too and wailed. She asked God “why?” and begged my father to come back. The girl whose parents abandoned her was now a woman and abandoned again. After what I’m sure was only twenty seconds but felt like my whole life, I pulled her up from the ground, wiped the tears off of her face, looked her in the eyes and said it.

“Mom, I think you might have to get a second job.”

Needless to say, the attempt to break the tension by joking about how my mom will get by financially now that everyone’s favorite Apruzzese lay dead at the toes of my New Balances fell flat. It, as always, did not register with my mom as a joke and my brother briefly marveled at the consistency in which I never cease to disappoint. I’m not sure if they even remember I said that. It probably got swallowed up in what was most important about the day, the ravioli parmigiana special at Carmine’s Italian Deli.

I have told this story to a few people, but never with this much detail. There’s still much more that I have chosen to omit because it both doesn’t serve the purpose of this essay and because what’s left is mine and his. In writing this, I realized how I had chosen to immediately emulate my dad the second both my mom and brother arrived at the scene. I didn’t cry in front of them that day. The first thing I said when we were all together was a joke. I tried to act like it didn’t bother me, for them.

Or, I’m an asshole.

I wish the years that followed were as retroactively well intentioned. The truth is, I grew cold. I tried to convince myself and everyone around me that my dad’s death didn’t bother me. I distanced myself from my mom and brother. I didn’t have my mom’s courage to love despite having lost badly in the past. Only recently have I tried to bridge the gap between who I became in order to survive and who I believe I am: Carmine’s son. It’s hard and scary to try. But that’s life. 

You can’t give up.

Well, that’s it. That’s the worst thing I’ve ever said. The sentiment came from what I believed was a very good place, like most of the worst things people have ever said.

anonymous asked:

Please please please can I have a courferre au where they're doctors or maybe courfeyrac is a nurse that all the old ladies love and sneaks the little kids candy and stickers and ferre is "that charming doctor" who gives kind smiles and is always thoughtful and brilliant. And oops the cuties fall in love/love each other.

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We’re doing a project where we ask people: what’s your UCB? We had a great time talking to J.D. Amato about experimental improv, ( ), the Gethard Show, and creativity. 

(Note: We actually did this interview last May, but due to insane laziness on my part, it’s only now being posted. Dumb! - LW)

LW: How’d you find UCB? 

JD: I literally stumbled upon UCB. I accidentally found it.

The summer before my senior year at NYU, a bunch of us went to shoot my friend’s thesis film down in Georgia, and while we were there, there was a freak accident, and one of our classmates was killed on set. It was awful. It shook us up for obvious reasons. I lived alone in the East Village at the time, and when we came back, there would be nights where I wasn’t doing great. I’d be not in a good headspace, I’d need to get out and not be alone. So I’d always go to NYU’s Tisch game center. Back then, the game center was just two arcade machines: a Namco pick-a-game and an Asteroids machine. So any time I needed to get out of the apartment, I’d go there and just distract myself by playing Asteroids. One night I was there and it was midnight, the lights were off, and I was in there by myself, and security told me I couldn’t be there anymore. I didn’t want to go home, so I just wandered through the city.

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