when will the ground underneath jungkook’s feet open up into the yawning chasm of hell so that he may be returned to his rightful place as prince of the underworld and i can resume living my life in peace without fear of having to see his abdominal muscles 5 million times on my dash 

A tiny freakout.

Sometimes - and I’m sure this is the first of many times I say this - I look back on tabs from x years ago and think ‘how did I do this?!’ Going through one of those phrases pretty majorly right now when looking at my undergraduate life and times. I still can’t for the life of me see how I learnt eight modules while running the EAS and OSPL, and still come out of it with friends and sanity and healthy relationships. Possibly the answer is little sleep, much caffeine, and the belief that my undergrad was the be all and end-all of pretty much everything. 

Postgrad life is much more chilled out. But it shouldn’t be, really, and now I’m finally getting to Finals, I can see I’m filled with thoughts of 'but I have such little time left!’. Mostly I can’t really tell what I did for most of this term - and last term - in terms of my academic work. Where did I learn Arabic? How did I not do any work on Mass Media in the Middle East? How is my thesis *still* in its infancy stages? 

So many questions. 

The answer, I have decided, is in finding Things to Do that stretch to a post-MPhil future, where things make sense and I am competent and everything comes together in a glorious whole. Yeah! (hopefully…)

Which is why I’m spending the scant amount of time I have available today writing internship applications rather than fixing my thesis. Oy vey… 

I shall also buy tons of instant coffee, and risk the flatmates’ (coffee purists, to a tee) wrath by submerging back into quasi-hibernation and just pushing through with work.

In other news, how lovely is this photo, from about this time last year? This is how I look when everything is going okay. (all credit to Santhy Balachandran) 

Codicil - have just ended an application letter with the hope that I can help to 'explode a narrative’. Let’s hope McKinsey recruiters have a sense of humour. Or a memory of university life and academic jargon…