How to make an INTJ:

(a bunch of sarcasm ahead)

Us INTJs can be very rare and hard to find sometimes.

Do not worry!!! :)))))

In this post I will teach you how to make an INTJ from the comfort of your own home!!! :)))

This recipe will serve 0 people and tolerate NO ONE’S bs.

Preparation time: a while


• A lot of sarcasm
• As many books as you can
• A CRAP LOAD of salt because we can get salty AF
• -100g of social skills
• Quite a bit of awkwardness
• Tonnes of SASS
• Earphones
• Energy drinks and/or coffee
• A handful of good comebacks
• The words “why” and “technically” (no extra vocabulary is really needed)
• An affinity for planning EVERYTHING
• Random facts


• Parties
• Any sense of direction
• Too many feelings


1. Mix all ingredients together
2. Bake to the hottest temperature your oven will reach to account for good roasts
3. Your INTJ is almost ready! Simply add a sprinkle of extra sarcasm (gotta make sure), coat with bluntness, and you’re done!


Do not engage the INTJ if they are:
• Listening to music
• Reading
• Writing

Ignoring the safety rules may result in:
• Receiving the signature INTJ Death Stare
• Severe roasting
• Silent treatment
• Death (in their heads)

anonymous asked:

You mean wawa as in the gasoline station??

Yeah listen I’m from California and we do not have them I was impressed and I got a really good coffee AND a hashbrown that DIDN’T contain beef like McDonald’s hash browns which I used to enjoy before my vegetarian ass realized I was getting tricked into beef consumption…. I like wawa

anonymous asked:

Hello! I love your blog! Three questions... 2, 13 & 37. Happy a nice day! 😊

Hi! Thank you :) 

Ha, this is a funny list you picked.

2. How old are you?

13. What talents do you have?
Running, sleeping, making good coffee, raising two humans, design, driving fast and eating. Those are all talents, right? 

37. Favorite swear word?
Fuck. For fucking sure. 

Thanks :) 

rules: answer + tag 20 followers you’d like to know more tagged by: @purplesce 

tagging: @pkbeamgamma, @snakerope, @cxsaltwater, @rainbowrod, @pixeldpotato (i might tag more later but for now i’m Lazy)

NAME: Izzy

NICKNAME: Xen/Zen is all i can think of atm ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

HEIGHT: 5'6"/167 cm?

NATIONALITY: mostly italian/irish

ORIENTATION: pan i think?







FAVOURITE ANIMAL: pretty much any mollusk or arthropod. cats are also very good

COFFEE, TEA, OR HOT CHOCOLATE: all. all are good. usually depends on my mood though

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: ranges from 5 - 9 rip

CATS OR DOGS: i prefer cats but i also adore dogs


DREAM TRIP: italy or france, or maybe hawaii or japan. i just want to travel :‘D

BLOG CREATED: i think my first blog was made in august 2015, but i moved to this one around february 2016 i think



namseok’s newlywed life

namjoon: i asked you to marry me…
hoseok: haha
namjoon: so would you like me to feed you some of my food?
hoseok: hahah it looks so delicious!!!
namjoon: right?!?!
hoseok: mmm! [caption: j-hope, he’s waiting to be fed too]
namjoon: shouldn’t i get something back?
hoseok: hahaha! what would you like to eat? would you like to drink my coffee?
namjoon: no~ no~
hoseok: then what?
yoongi: you have to feed, you have to feed him!
namjoon: wouldn’t it be good if you gave me something healthy/for well-being?
hoseok: well-being? 
namjoon: mhmm
hoseok: i really don’t know…
namjoon: you don’t, really? ok, well coffee is good 
hoseok: [realizes] oh, it’s the same thing!!!!
hoseok: success? dingdong! 

& (trans by me)

As much as I feel so blessed that I get to travel often, I’m so happy to come back home. I realized how much I missed everything about my hometown (and my own bed). This past week was sleep, thrift shopping, and coffee with good company.

Now Playing:

Hard Feelings/Loveless- Lorde

Little of Your Love- HAIM

Let’s Get Married- Bleachers

anonymous asked:

Please make one with lance on coffee ☕️☕️

Good thing: Hunk already know how Lance is going to prank them if he became a ghost. In every awful detail. He is prepared. So whatever.  

Bad thing: Keith now know too and he have no idea if he is joking or not (spoiler: he isn’t). But he hope. For his sanity and his hair.

The Post - Lance&Keith - Hunk&Shiro - _&_

can you believe that in fifteen years, sana and isak will be working in the same hospital, and some days she’ll bring coffee in the morning, and some days he will, and each time they’ll hand each other the cup of coffee and say “good morning, bud!” and one morning sana will also tell isak “looks like you really need it. long shift?” and isak will yawn and shake is head and say “nah, even was working on his film until, like, three” and sana will smile and say “not easy being married to norway’s most adored director, hm?” and isak will sigh exaggeratedly, but he won’t be able to hide his fond smile when he’ll reply “oh it’s the worst”

bakery au (oldie but a goodie)

Part 1

“He hates me,” Bitty moaned, flopping on his couch. Holster was raiding his kitchen, listening to his rant about Jack Zimmermann.

“I don’t even know what I did wrong! Maybe it was because I told him that he played a hard game last night the first time he came into the bakery? All he does is glare at me and say stuff like ‘Eric, the coffee is too sweet,’ or ‘Eric, you need more protein.’”

“Brah, maybe Zimmermann just has a total resting bitch face,” said Holster as he pulled out a leftover pie from Bitty’s fridge. “Guy seems fucking intense. At least he’s good for business.”

“He keeps on glaring at me! And he comes in, like, three times a week. Orders a coffee and just drinks it in his corner, ignores my attempts at conversation even though, mind you, he has already said some pretty rude stuff!”

“The guy’s a celebrity, he probably has his head so far in his ass and doesn’t care about shit, and also just wants some privacy. Bits, you haven’t been taking pictures of him and posting it on twitter have you?” Holster asked, alarmed.

Bitty gasped, “Adam Birkholtz! I would never!”

“Then just treat him like an antisocial customer, he can’t be the only one going to the bakery who doesn’t want conversation and just wants service and food,” Holster said, dropping down next to Bitty on the couch with two tins of pie.

“I know,” Bitty sighs. “He’s just…so handsome. And he was so nice to Nursey when that fool tripped. And he tips generously. And he’s just so gorgeous, even when he’s glaring at me and speaking in grunts whenever I ask him how his day has been. I just want him to like me!”

Holster navigated the TV to a rerun of Golden Girls and handed Bitty one of the pie tins. “I think that’s your problem. You’re an amazing person, Bits, but maybe you can be a bit too friendly for resting bitch face robozoid Zimmermann. Maybe stop asking him about his day and just let him chill.”

Keep reading