coffee-and-word

Coffee… And Dessert - swanqueenfic13

Word Count: 3, 699

Summary: “Is this… Is this a play date?” Lena asks. When Kara scrunches up her nose and tilts her head in confusion, Lena continues, cheeks turning the lightest pink. “I mean, like… Should I be getting a babysitter? For Lydia? Or were you just… getting to know me as the mother of one of your students and… Is Lydia coming to this or is it just you and… y’know, you and me?” Lena is rapidly losing confidence the longer she talks. She can feel her cheeks turning pinker. Kara blushes, smiles awkwardly.

“Oh, uh, well… What do you want it to be?” she says softly.

In which Lena doesn’t know if it’s actually a date, Kara is a nervous, bumbling mess, and Lydia is a beautiful, naive little munchkin.

Note: a continuation of my last fic “Little Luthor” but can be read as a stand alone

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.

one day i’ll have coffee with Jesus
ask Him all the questions swimming around in my head
like
“do you take cream and sugar too?”
and
“why did he hurt me?”
and
“are you proud of me?”
and
“do you see the good in everything or do you get sad sometimes too?”
and
“can i do both? because most days i do.”

i’ll hug Him
and
He’ll hug me
the father
the son
the holy spirit
all three

You couldn’t look at me.

I was right there, and you couldn’t look at me.

Maybe it killed you to see that I could smile without you, that I could laugh with someone who wasn’t you. Maybe you finally realized that I could breathe and live, and that I didn’t need you after all.

Because at some point I got tired of chasing, chasing someone who was never going to come around. I was a fool, going back and forth playing your stupid, little game. The difference between you and I though, I tried to get through to your heart - I cared, I loved, and you didn’t. You could’ve let me in, you should’ve let me in, you needed to let me in.

But you made a decision, and your decision wasn’t me.

—  c.f. // “game over”