call me when your falling over your own feet because you’re too drunk to stand on your own, so intoxicated that your sub conscience is speaking my name. call me when the kisses stampeded into your delicate cheeks do not reek of me anymore. call me when the you are trying to grip at the emotions of another’s throat, and it’s in the way your mouths move that remind you how i am more wolf than i ever was woman. call me when you remember the time where you stuck your fingers in between my thighs not expecting me to howl at the moon.
call me when chaos is the only thing rotting your mind. when your shoulders are dripping with old lover’s blood. when you walked with darkness holding your hand. and ghosts spreading to your fingertips leaving your shoulders heavy. call me when you want me to be the artist that brings your soul back from the dead, when you want my voice to paint the quiet. and have my iridesent tongue speak so loudly, your chest brightens.
call me when you fingers are numb and you feel broken. when the music has bit at the sides of your cheeks for too long, leaving a swollen spot. call me when the wildflowers crawl into the knacks of your spine wilted because you decided i wasn’t home for you anymore and no longer can stand the dead skin cells underneath your fingernails where the corpse of my soul sinks forever. call me when she’s no longer the ghost spiraling dandelions around your ribs.
call me when the stars are streaming and they remind you of my eyes, when you happen to stare at the moon and all you can think of it the way it used to bounce off in my eyes. call me when you begin to see me in the coffee cups and glass soda bottles. or see me in the strangers with their hands intertwined across the street in a large, busy city. or hear my name in the rhythms of the birdsong. or think of the way my body curved into the sides of your ribcage when the church bells ring in your ears. or even when the waves crash along the shores.
Yo! So this took me a little bit, I was expecting it to be done at 4 (CT) but I decided to take a break and watch Outlander. (Which is a great book as well, I suggest it. It’s one of my favorites.) So,as usual, it’s late, but I did get to write one today. I hope you enjoy it. Again, I would like to place a warning that it is a little rough.There aren’t very many vulgar words in this one.
You could hear the music from down the hall, some sort of fast and heavy song. It vibrated your coffee cups on the shelf as the bass grew even more intense. You were sure the people closer to the noise were getting their eardrums blown out.
You knew exactly where the noise was coming from. It was that greasy dork from down the hall. By saying greasy dork, you meant it more in an affectionate way than an offensive one. You and the boy, were somewhat friends.
His name was Gerard.
He was an awkward human being, always referencing some sort of band, or superhero. Half of his shirts were practically rags with holes showing off his pale flesh underneath. He either was wearing sweat pants or skinny jeans, and if he wasn’t he stood around in his boxers.
He didn’t leave much, but when he did there was times where he would dress up. He was very secretive about his work, and would hardly let anyone into his apartment until the secret had been put away in either drawers or in his shutdown computer.
You were tired of being the messenger but you found it was easier for him to respond to someone he was familiar with. Someone he knew a little bit.
You get up, putting on some shoes and tying your hair up in a bun. You wore a black cardigan today, in which you wrapped yourself up in.
You carried your cup of coffee down the hall, knowing you wouldn’t need to wait for a refill. Gerard had this obsession with coffee, you didn’t know if he just liked the taste, or if it was because he needed to be up for most of the night. Whatever it was, it didn’t bother you, as long as he had coffee.
You knock on his door, lightly. After a moment of just his music blaring through the speakers you pounded harder. The speakers shut off and he opened the door, quickly, in almost a fit of anger. He then looked at you, his face softening, and becoming awkward.
Today he was in the really aged Watchmen t-shirt he got a couple of years back. He actually had enough motivation to pull himself into skinny jeans. His eyes had bruises under them, but the slight caffeine shake is what convinced you he was alert. Again, his eyes. They were ringed with black eyeliner from yesterday, and smudged and smeared about. His hair wasn’t as greasy today, you suspected he actually took a decent amount of time in the shower last night.
“Good morning Gerard! I thought I’d stop by to tell you you’re music can be heard from my room.” You chuckle, shifting your weight onto your other foot.
“Oh shit, I’m r-really sorry.” he stutters, scratching the back of his raven head. “I was just… um working on this project. It k-kinda needs to be done by next week and I can’t think.” His voice was small, but he stood, guarding his apartment with a firm stance, not even tempted to let you in.
“Gerard. Let me help. You aren’t going to get through this block if you can’t even open up about it and share ideas?” You talked like a mother, knowing he was older than you. He was just acting less mature than you at this point.
“Fine. Come on in.” He gave up, stepping aside slowly, letting you in. His room smelled like rich coffee, just the way you liked it. His computer was turned off and you could see several papers sticking out of the drawer in his desk.
“So what are you working on, Gerard?” You say, looking around, going sitting on one of the dining chairs. He looks over at you nervously, backing his way to his desk. He sits down in the worn out office chair, rubbing the side of his face with his hand.
He takes a sip of his coffee, and enthusiastically opens the drawer. The papers bulge out of the wooden container. They were little sketches and colorful drawings of people and animals. They were either in extreme detail, or they were like cartoons. “Y/N.” He spoke quietly. “I’ve been working on a project for the last couple of months, just trying to find the right plot, and I can’t even write a damn script!” He exclaims. He talks with his hands, swallowing and pursing his lips as he goes to take a breath. “I just can’t seem to get a good idea anymore.” He presses the bottom halves of his palms against his forehead, grimacing slightly. “I… I have this f-fucking migraine and it won’t go away.”
You look at him, scanning over the helpless man in front of you. You felt sad for him. “Gerard, take a nap.” You suggest, shrugging and taking a sip of your coffee.
“No Y/N! Not until I have at least a page done!” He takes another large gulp of his coffee before sighing and setting it back down. “I just want to have accomplished something today. I slept my four hours, I just want to have an idea pop into my head.” He says sadly, looking down at his keyboard with an even sadder expression, and just lays his head down on it.
You furrow your eyebrows. “Would you like me to pitch you some ideas, honey?” You get up, making your way slowly and cautiously over to his desk. You crouch down, getting on your knees, and place your hand on his head, comfortingly. He sighs.
“That would be great.” Gerard sits up, making you jerk your hand away. “What would a beautiful lady like yourself want to see in a graphic novel?” He says sweetly, smiling.
You look down, holding your hand. “Don’t give me any bullshit romance in that novel of yours.” You start, licking your lips, and looking up intently at him.
“You’re obviously into superheros. How about your write something about villains instead?” You come up with another idea, tilting your head.
“No. No. No. No.” Gerard shakes his head. “Listen Y/N. I want to write something about superheros but I can’t think of anything unique! This isn’t helping me!” He shouts, getting physically angry.
You cringe. “I’m sorry Gerard. I tried!” You yell back.
“You tried! You tried!” He groans, bolting up out of his chair, leaving you still on the floo. He towers over you. “Do you think I want these paltry attempts at an idea? No, Y/N, I want something juicy, I want something good. I want it to be more than just a fucking book! I want it to speak to people!” He paces, trying to calm himself down.
“Gerard stop being a little dick! I’m not obligated to fucking help you. You’re an asshole! I’m leaving. I hope you find an idea with that mother fucking adittude!” You push yourself up, and make your way to the door, leaving your cup behind you.
A strong hand grabbed your wrist.
“Little dick?” Gerard laughs loudly. “I don’t mean to be cocky, but,” he pauses, taking time to shake his head and laugh some more, “this thing would destroy you.” He laughs.
You add on to the laughter. “Would it now?” You throw your head back.
“Do you want me to try, missy?” He growls, his tone becoming dark. His grip on your wrist became tighter until he pulled you against him, wrapping his arms around your waist. He held them there, abnormally low. He wasn’t hesitating, though he just wanted to see your reaction, he wanted to you you uncomfortable.
Your hands rested on his chest, and you looked up to him, sneering. “Try me, boy.” You challenge him. “You couldn’t even last two seconds.”
“I could say the same to you.” He looks down at you, holding you closer, almost in an attempt to crush your bones one by one. “By the time I’m done with you, I’ll be begging for more.” He slides his hand down, pulling your skirt up your backside, slowly. “I’m going to break you Y/N.” He nips at your ear, and turns you around, pushing you up against the islands in the kitchen. You are forced to bend over. He throws your skirt up over your rear end. He takes his time to feel your soft flesh, hitting it roughly and taking pleasure in leaving prints.
With each slap! you gasped, feeling his inventive hand come in contact with you. He slid your panties down your legs. You could feel his weight as he squatted, taking off your sandals and spreading your ass cheeks apart and attacking you at the core. It was forced, but you weren’t fighting him, you were enjoying the feeling as he took the time to delve into each fold and dip in your most sensitive region. He lowered his mouth, biting and kissing at your inner thighs. You could hear him grunt, feeling satisfaction at the newly formed bruises on your skin.
By the time you were to make it out of there he wanted you to be decorated in marks inflicted by him. He wanted you to fall submissive underneath him as he fucked you senseless. You could feel your core becoming wetter and wetter with each nip closer to your center.
You felt him spread your folds apart and he purred. He was satisfied with how wet you were. You pushed yourself out to him, begging to be tasted again.
He turned you over, picking you up like a doll and setting you on the counter. He kisses you, his thin lips becoming swollen. You kissed back, forcibly against him, breathing heavily at the feeling. His hands went to your blouse, unbuttoning it until he couldn’t unbutton anymore, right above your navel.
His hands reached inside of your shirt, cutting your breasts through your bra, massaging them. You took your cardigan off, flicking it on to the floor of the kitchen behind you. In a swift movement, Gerard had slid your blouse up and off of your arms, tossing it away. He had you bent backwards with him leaning over you as he kissed down your neck, leaving another huge bruise just like the ones on your legs. You moaned, feeling the blood rush to that spot, bearing his intensive bites. He kissed down lower, expertly unhooking your bra and gliding it off of your shoulders and down your arms.
You wondered if he’s ever taken a women like this before. So rough and boisterous. You wondered how vulgar he really could be. The thought of it made your skin develop goosebumps, and the hair on the back of your neck rose, despite it being slicked down with sweat. His tongue slithered its way down to your breasts, circulating around one of the soft buds. His hand massaged the other breast, pinching lightly at your nipple every once in awhile. He took his time, teasing you with every second of it.
One of his hands slid down, working on your clit on a gentle manner, designed to drive you over. Your back arched, you were ready to release, but nothing would come. You sat there for what seemed like minutes waiting until your slow but intense release came. You moaned softly, it rolling past your vocal chords like a wave. It was unbelieveable how tense it made you. Gerard, satisfied with the response, lowered himself, kissing and nipping all at your stomach, slapping at your thighs whenever you would make a movement he didn’t enjoy.
He got to your core, letting your legs drape around him, he got on his knees. He went to work on your center, stroking it softly, but mercilessly. He didn’t let you move, his fingers digging into you and leaving abrasions here and there as he scratched at your legs.
His tongue moved quicker, flattening out over the entire being, and delving it inside of you making you gasp.
Your upper half was freezing now, lined with sweat, but left alone for a while.You could sense his fingers near, getting ready to push into you, and when they did you moaned, loudly.
They made their way in and out as Gerard licked through your folds, slurping up every sweet taste of you. Your legs became weak, but they clenched around Gerard’s head as your hips bucked. Your walls clenched around his fingers, feeling the hotness and mild intensity of your orgasm.
“I want to fuck that pretty little face of yours baby, get down here.” He tugs you down by your legs, making you stand. Your skirt fell to cover your wanting parts. Gerard began to strip, taking his shirt off as exposing his pale, only lightly toned chest.
You were the one to grab the waistband of his pants, dragging him closer to you. Unbuttoning his pants, you bit your lip. You were waiting for a surprise. By the look of the bulge in his jeans you could have made a mistake by accusing him of having a small dick.
“Come on Y/N,” he groans “I want to see those pretty pink lips wrapped around my cock.” He stares down at you, watching every movement. You bring your hands up to his crotch, massaging him lightly.
He groans, pushing his hips outward, waiting for you. You finally take the step and pull them down, he steps out, taking his socks off in the process. His boxers came next, and you were more than happy to see how big he was.
You happily took him into your mouth, sucking lighting lightly.
Gerard had different plans though, he grabbed your hair, forcing your mouth to bob quicker on his dick. You could feel him hit the back of your throat, almost gagging in response as he did so. You held his thighs, digging your nails in them to leave crescent shaped marks. He pulled out, giving you a second to catch your breath.
There was a string of saliva, and you gush in extreme embarrassment and cover your mouth. “Hurry up, I haven’t got all day.” He groans, waiting a little impatiently. He wasn’t at all bothered by the sick appearance of your saliva.
You turn back toward him, opening your mouth, waiting for him. “Nah, babe you take over. Don’t take too long though.”
He groans, as you push him all the way in, slithering your tongue as best you could down the underside of his dick. You bobbed your head swiftly, looking up at him through your eyelashes, pumping with your hand, what couldn’t fit in your mouth.
He grabbed your hair again, thrusting in and out lightly, his moans filling up the room along with the wet noises of your mouth. When he finally stopped you were left breathless. Your chest heaved as you tried to catch your breath, when finally he lifted you to stand.
“Bed. Now.” He demanded, hands on his hips. He was painfully hard and you could tell, he bit his lip as he watched you.
The rooms of the apartment were laid out exactly the same, which was how you could figure your way to his room. You have never been in his room, and you were surprised to see it cleaner than the rest of his apartment.
You plop yourself down on the bed, watching Gerard follow in.
“I want to see that pretty little ass of yours.” He vocalized. “I want to see how red I can make it before I fuck that sweet little prize you have there.”
You turn over, somewhat reluctantly and wait.
When his hand came in contact with your rear, you clutch the pillow underneath you, gasping into it. You could feel the mark raising on your skin and he left another, on the other side. One more was placed on that same side he started with, stinging when it collided with the first of the marks. You screamed into the pillow, and many more times after that as he continued to spank you.
You enjoyed the pain, taking an ill pleasure in the feeling of his hand repeatedly making your ass brighter than it was only a few seconds ago.
There was a moment of silence, the only sound in the room was you two breathing heavily. As you waited you could feel the wetness soaking you again, and Gerard told you to flop back over on to your back. When you did, there was a stinging pain, you could feel every pore screaming for help as you put pressure on your ass.
You spread your legs willingly and watched as Gerard slowly but his entire length into you. He propped himself up on his hands and thrusts quick and hard into you.
It made your insides turn, and your mouth groan.
You were finally being satisfied from what felt like forever you were waiting for him. He moved his hips, taking on a nice speed. It wasn’t fast, but it wasn’t slow either.
Your legs were up, thighs right up next to your breasts, making an easier way to get deeper inside of you for Gerard.
You took great pleasure in moaning his name, whether it was voluntary or not. You squeal and squeaked into Gerards neck as he thrusts.
Sometime later, you could feel his teeth on your neck, shutting his jaw tight, and rocking the entire bed with each thrust.
You could feel your climax coming along, and he demanded you to keep it in, so you did, you tried hard, the feeling coming more and more intense as you did. His hips moved faster, and his jaw locked on your skin. You could feel the heat of the injury as he did so, blood making its way past his teeth as he sucked slowly and gently.
He never let up on the movements of his lower half.
You screamed, feeling the pain and pleasure of this encounter. Gerard’s new side made you uncontrollable, and all you wanted was for him to cum hot and sticky inside of you.
For once in your life since you’ve been taking it, birth control would actually help.
He moved his hips in circles, the g-spot being touched repeatedly was too much for you to handle and you came, clenching your walls around his dick as you did so, moans ripping through your body as you became limp and frail against his body.
You could still feel him moving and you were enjoying the intensity of how sensitive you were. You didn’t notice it until now, but he released his bite on your neck. You looked up at him, blurry eyed and in bliss, to see his pale face, with a smear of your blood across his cheek. He held you firmly at the throat and kissed you, his pace slowing down a little bit, trying to get you to cum again.
He wanted to watch your face this time.
His other hand grabbed you at the hip, and he propped himself somewhat on his knees. He pushed your hips down on him, reaching deeper inside of you.
“Fuck!” You scream, feeling another knot in your stomach, the heat rising to your skin from everywhere on your body. His name was said several times before he finally let go of your throat, and held you up, your body bobbing on his cock.
You screamed, you chest being pushed up to his face at your head flew back in reaction to your orgasm, it ripped through your body as you shook slightly, your walls clenching and unclenching again around him.
Finally, in reaction, he spilled into you, riding out his high by moving his hips in small circles.
You sit like that for a couple of minutes before Gerard lost all motivation to hold you up. You two fell next to each other, sitting silently, trying to regain some of your breath before you spoke to each other.
You curled up next to him, resting your head on his shoulder.
Another moment of silence.
You open your mouth to speak, getting slightly cocky. “Do you have an idea now?”
“You could say that.” Gerard laughed. “I’m sorry if I hurt you. I just get into those frenzy modes. I’m usually not like that.” He admits, kissing you on the forehead. “I’ll take you out after I get this script finished I promise.”
“Until then, I can come over and give you motivation daily?” You raise your eyebrow and look up at him.
“Why not. I need some physical activity.” He agrees.
“Why don’t we get up and get our clothes back on? We can sit down at the computer and write.” You suggest, propping yourself up on your elbow.
Gerard nods and gets up. “You’d better hurry, I’d rather not hurt you like that again…” He says shyly, nodding to the fresh bite on your neck.
You put your hand on your neck, feeling it only slightly leaking blood. “I forgot about it until now.” You sit up. “You obviously enjoyed doing it, so I don’t mind it all that much.”
You both make your way into the kitchen, you fix your skirt, that was still on, pulling your panties on under it, and then your shoes, bra, and the rest of your clothes that were chucked around in random corners of the room.
Gerard was at his computer by now, typing away. You felt proud of yourself, no matter how terrible the situation was, you got him back into a regular thing. You watch him type, quickly. Letters and words appearing on the screen.
By the time you left, your neck was only hurting slightly, but your mind kept thinking about the intimacy and the aggression.
How could someone go from being so timid to that aggressive?
These are all the gifts I received from people over the weekend! Save for one large print from TJ / Pirate Dash, which is either in my car or at my parent’s house, WHOOPS. Also some delicious cinnamon tea from thebronyinmycloset! AAAND some honey vodka from askrustynail which is sitting in my fridge, haha. I had some last night and UNFFF IT WAS DELICIOUS. And an Applejack badge from bingk!
I’m missing some usernames of gift-givers so if you recognize a thing you gave me, please speak up so I can properly thank / credit you!
1. A KING SOMBRA CAKE POP. It was a little melty because I didn’t think to stick it in the fridge but LOOK AT IT, IT’S GLORIOUS. From serenthepony!
2. A Sombra canvas painting, two mini-paintings, and a sleeping Wiggles figurine (also from serenthepony) and a Princess Shelf mint case filled with a teeny-tiny herd of AKS characters from askthehenchponies!
10. A Gilda button and TSSF / Enterplay / Horsefamous cards from bonusjosh, a teeny Twilight magnet from asksweetdisaster, a screaming Sketchy from katottersart, a Sombra from alskylark, a Sombra from asksweetcream, a Troubleshoes sticker and AJ bookmark from dennybutt and then the mascot pins from Bronycon! …And I also bought myself a Blank Canvas plush hurr hurr
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH AHHHH <333 It was great meeting you all and to those who might have missed meeting me because I was too busy mascot-ing… THERE’S ALWAYS NEXT YEAR <3
The journey to minimalism is slow going but constant for me. I’ve gotten rid of 3 large boxes of clothing and another box of books and shoes and an additional box of candles and body was and all that good stuff.
Yet I feel like I just keep having more and more. I donate stuff then another box in storage appears. I have a whole other box of full size bed spreads to donate since jason and I have a queen bed.
For furniture for our new place I’ve been eyeing up some minimalist style end tables and coffee table with no shelf or drawers to prevent clutter. The tv stand I ordered has four small drawers and space for our Xbox and router box. I want to get rid of my night stands and buy new ones because they have three drawers each. But I’ve opted to just paint them white with blue drawers to save money. We’re getting a double dresser instead of two separate ones and using my old one as a stand for owls tank. Jason is downsizing to a corner desk with no drawers. It’s slow going. But I’m keeping at it.