coffee pun

bifrostie  asked:

Could you do quick coffee shop au?

Aw hell yeah I love coffee shop au’s theyre my favs. Good choice 10/10 I hope you like it!


Thor wasn’t looking for The Chemistry Cafe when he happened to stumble upon it.

He was actually early leaving for work in the morning, or at least as early as you can be when you run your own yoga studio on your own time.

So Thor decided that it might be a nice morning workout to use that extra 20 minutes to walk into work.

He noticed the little place just a few blocks from his studio and decided that he deserved to treat himself a coffee for his hard work and early morning. He walked up to the building and couldn’t stop the smile across his face at the little chalkboard sign resting on the sidewalk.

On the sign was an elegant scrawl that read: “Today’s special: E=MC^2 Energy=Milk x Coffee^2”

Thor pushed the door open and dipped inside, the bell above the doorway chiming it’s assent. The inside was brightly lit, the pale yellow appliances and warm coffee colors were subtle and homely, with white and black tables that upon closer inspection, were periodic tables.

There was a short line at the register and Thor glanced down at his phone, pleased to note that he was in plenty of time, before he stepped up to the queue.

As he waited Thor looked up to the menu behind the counter and noted that all the drink names were some kind of variations of coffee, tea  and science puns, causing a small smile to tug at Thor’s lips. He wouldn’t consider himself any kind of science wiz but he considered himself to be well versed, and many of said drink names were quite fitting and a bit ingenious.

“Next!” A soft yet professional voice rang out.

Thor blinked and looked toward the barista behind the register, who was looking at him expectantly. His name tag read ‘Tony.’

The man was, a bit short, with a stylized and gelled hair cut and well trimmed goatee. “What’ll you have?” He asked.

“I’ll have the E=MC^2 Latte.” Thor said, momentarily distracted as a second barista came through the door behind the counter carrying a box stacked with cups. He had floppy and curly brown hair and carried himself, carefully. Thor was intrigued. “I-I’m sorry what was that?”

Tony was looking at him with an unreadable expression, a cup and sharpie in his hands. His eyes slid to the barista behind him for a moment before he returned his attention to Thor. “Name?”

“Thor.”

Tony scribbled the name down on the side of the cup and gave Thor the kind of smile that gave him the same feeling of dread that Loki’s smiles did. “Hey Brucie, will you take care of this special for me?” He called to the other barista.

“Why can’t you take care of it?” ‘Brucie’ asked, turning his head slightly toward Tony.

“Because I’m going on break.” Tony whined as he took off his apron and threw it over the other baristas shoulder.

“Tony-” He tried to protest.

“Just for a second, I just need a little fresh air and I’ll be right back, promise.” Tony insisted, shoving the cup into Bruce hand, now that Thor could see his nametag. “Be back in a sec!”

And with that he disappeared behind the swinging kitchen doors, leaving Bruce staring after him. After a moment he sighed, resigned, and slid the apron from his shoulder, hanging it on a hook by the door. He glanced down at the cup and read the name before looking in Thor’s direction for the first time.

“It’s a special righ-” Bruce blinked.

Thor blinked.

Nobody moved.

Thor felt his heart pound as warm honey eyes met his behind thick rounded glasses, slightly askew from where their were perched on Bruce’s nose. He had what looked like flour on his cheek and his long hair framed his oval shaped face. Thor was absolutely smitten. “I-I’m sorry what was that?”

Bruce’s face flushed slightly darker and Thor had to refrain from leaning over the counter to get a closer look. “I-it’s the special right?”

“Oh! Yes, it, yes…” Thor blurted.

Thor felt his cheeks burn slightly in embarrassment but when Bruce chuckled he decided he might find himself embarrassing himself more often if it meant he’d be able to hear it again.

Thor stepped to the side of the register to watch Bruce as he worked. He was very fluid in motion and confident as he worked, it was, compelling to say the least, and Thor nearly felt his heart stop when Bruce turned back to him with a smile.

“S-So, Thor huh? Like the norse god?” Bruce asked, a bit shyly but mostly interested.

“The very one! My parents are both, historians in their own right and saw fit to name myself and my siblings after some of their favorite beings.”

“Well I mean, that’s certainly a name to grow into. And from the looks of it you have.”

Thor cocked an eyebrow feeling a bit emboldened. “Oh? How does one grow into such a name?”

Bruce shrugged a bit matterofactily “I mean yeah, tall, blonde, fit, good looking-”

Thor felt his smile widen as Bruce’s own eye did, cartoonishly so, and his face went bright red as he fumbled to save himself. “A-At least anyone with eyes could see yknow, that you are aesthetically pleasing and obviously take care of yourself that’s just a fact s-so-”

Thor let out a booming laugh and held up a hand to calm Bruce’s frantic rambling. “I appreciate the compliment.” He said with smile.

Bruce chewed his lip nervously and nodded, his hands twisting his apron uselessly. “Right, okay, you’re welcome.”

Thor smiled again, pleased. “If it is any consolation I find you pleasing to the eye as well.” Thor said brazenly, causing Bruce to nearly stumble from where he had turned to restocking the cups from before.

“Y-You, you think so?”

“Hm, yes, quite.” Thor hummed from behind his cup, glancing at his watch and nearly choking on the hot coffee and spilling it slightly as he noticed how late it had gotten.

“Oh! Shit are you alright?” Bruce asked, quickly wetting a cold paper towel and lightly dabbing the skin where Thor had slightly scaled himself.

“Yes I’m alright. But I must be going, I hadn’t noticed how late it had gotten.”

Bruce nodded in understanding, even as his expression appeared a bit crestfallen, as he released Thor’s hand after he was convinced it wouldn’t blister. “Right. Well, have a good day.” He offered.

Thor nodded and smiled, his hand tingling from where Bruce had gentle held it, “Yes, I will.”

-

Needless to say Thor found himself walking to work quite often in the few following weeks and could be seen in The Chemistry Cafe several times a week, and he couldn’t deny he’d developed a soft spot for Tony’s “Up and Atom” morning brew.

But It was even to the point the where rest of the employee’s knew Thor by name as he knew them. Tony was Bruce’s closest friend and Co-owner of the cafe along with Bruce. Natasha was Bruce’s childhood friend and Steve was a friend from college of Tony’s. They were all pleasant enough but tended to make a show of getting Bruce if he wasn’t otherwise up front whenever Thor walked in and he wasn’t sure if he should be grateful or embarassed by the fact.

So you could imagine his surprise one day when the chalkboard outside instead of a special read “Use your best science pick up line on the barista and you might just win a date!” and inside, Thor could see Bruce behind the register, taking orders as usual.

So of course Thor fumbled with his phone to try and find any kind of pick up line that would be moderately appropriate or possibly cheesy enough to be charming, and once he’d settled on one he marched inside, his stomach aflutter.

Thor waited in line, rocking back and forth on his heels a bit and feeling uncharacteristically nervous, which only seemed to sky rocket when he got up to the counter and Bruce looked up at him, a big smile on his face.

“Hey Thor, back for your usual I see.”

Thor smiled crookedly, his heart hammering. “You do make it best. Even better than Tony if I saw so myself.”

“I heard that!”

Bruce laughed at Tony’s distant shout and set to work making Thor’s coffee.

Thor waited for a moment before leaning on the counter, hoping that he looked at least somewhat casual, but this was more difficult than he’d thought it would be.

In the last few weeks of coming here the flirting that Thor utilized so well had tapered down and he’d actually just, gotten to know Bruce. The man was a genius, incredibly smart and well read on just about any subject. He was kind and compassionate, he loved his work and his friends all encompassingly and though he demonstrated it through actions rather than words he left no one out and made sure that everyone knows they are appreciated. Not to mention he is incredibly attractive and has often left Thor’s mouth dry, whether his showered and clean shaven or tried and sleep ruffled he was always dazzling.

And so you could say Thor was more than a bit infatuated, and although this wasn’t exactly the way Thor had intended to invite Bruce on a night out, it certainly wasn’t a chance he was willing to let slip by him.

“So, Bruce.” Thor began, listening for the small hum that let him know Bruce was listening. “This may be a bit forward of me but, I like you a latte, so I was wondering if I could get your significant digits.” Thor rushed out, the lines sounding better in his head.

Bruce stopped moving and he slowly turned, biting his lip, trying and failing not to laugh. “Did, did you just, use a coffee pun and a physics joke in one pick up line?”

Thor felt his face flood with color and he ducked his head. “M-Maybe? Do I win?”

Bruce’s face fell a bit and his eyes narrowed. “Win what?”

Thor felt his stomach twist. “The chalkboard out front, it-”

Bruce was around the counter in an instant, and rushing outside, leaving Thor looking after him as he looked at the sign and covered his mouth in shock. Before grabbing the sign and dashing back inside. “TONY!”

Thor heard a high pitched cackle from the back of the cafe and Thor couldn’t help the small thrill he felt as he watched Bruce march into the back, fuming. Although Thor wasn’t sure if the red in his face was anger or embarrassment and after a few moments of hushed whispers and conversation Bruce came back through the swinging doors, looking a bit calmer.

“I’m so sorry Thor, I had no idea that was even a thing that Tony had done. Just, ignore him okay?”

Thor felt his heart sink as Bruce went back to making his coffee and he murmured an assent of some kind.

Bruce handed him his cup and gave Thor a bright smile which he returned a bit hesitantly before he started walking out, glancing down at the cup and pausing in the doorway.

On the cup in Bruce’s neat handwriting was written. ‘I’m a bit chai, but. Here’s my number.”

Thor whipped around and met Bruce’s eyes from across the cafe, and he waved shyly making Thor laughing gleefully and wave back before leaving.

Thor put Bruce’s number in his phone immediately and sent Bruce the periodic table element, Copper. And below it wrote, “Cu tomorrow. ;)”

anonymous asked:

The Dads and kids meeting Dadson's twin during a pool party at dadsona's house.

Eeehehehehe Daddy Corvo comin back in clutch with the best thing EVER. (I’m going with this assuming they’re identical twins)

Joseph📿: (Somewhat) pleasantly surprised Dadsona hadn’t mentioned their twin sooner. Nonetheless, he’s friendly and introduces Dadsona’s twin to the kids and invites them to a block party coming up.

Robert🗡: *confused boner*

Damien🦇: Tries to compliment their appearance but fails because “wait you look the same- well, you’re both attractive of course, I just- oh dear…”

Craig💦: Has met them before, but hasn’t heard from them in a while. Spends a good deal of the party catching up and affectionately trash talking Dadsona.

And here comes Daddy Thomas to finish this post off!

Brian🎣: “Everyone says identical, but I can tell you two apart. You’re Dadsona and you are… Dadsona. Let me start over.”

Hugo📚: Starts listing statistics and fawning over their genetic history. Lots of “Are twins normal in your family?” And “For both of you to be completely the same…”

Matt☕️: Matt goes off on what sort of drinks he could name after the two. Couple Cupcakes, Twin Toffee, Brother Brew, etc…

2

Hey what’s up! I remembered to make holiday designs before the holiday lol :3
So enjoy this tiny fox, who likes you a latte uwu

>Society 6< >Redbubble<

What we know about the dads so far

Not including the info on their little introduction posts. Stuff I got from tweets and the live stream. 
Craig Cahn:
He was your roommate in college 
He has 3 kids. 2 older twins (Briar and Hazel) and the baby (River) 
He has an ex-wife named Ashley who he has joint custody of the kids with. They got divorced last year.
He drinks marinara sauce like it’s a smoothie?
He’s a total fucking bro. He and your dadsona used to go on Bro Brunch. 
He jogs daily and is strong enough that he can jog while holding River on his chest without hurting her. 
Mat Sella:
He owns the local coffee shop, the Coffee Spoon. The name comes from a poem and even Mat admits that it’s kind of stupid.
The names of all the things on the menu in the shop are puns.
Mat’s name is a Front Bottoms reference (Their guitarist’s name is Brian Sella and their drummer’s name is Mathew Uychich)
Mat has one daughter
He’s kind of awkward and really sweet.
Puns! So many band and coffee puns!
Hugo Vega:
Hugo’s son’s name is Ernest 
Hugo has a Netflix account but he can never remember his login details
He also has an old excel spreadsheet that he made years ago of wine and cheese pairings that he will deny exists but updates regularly
He thinks his son only vapes to annoy him. He admits vaping is healthier than other forms of smoking but thinks smoking a pipe is more dignified.
Joseph Christiansen:
Joseph has tattoos that he covers 
He also owns a fidget spinner
He has 4 kids. One of them is a daughter named Christie. 
He’s the first dad you meet in the game! He brings cookies he baked to your house
Brian Harding:
He has one daughter, named Daisy. She’s 10 
He also has a corgi named Maxwell. 
Depending on what you choose he’s either the second or third dad you meet in the game. 
You! The player’s dadsona:
You have one daughter named Amanda and she’s a senior in high school. She’s a photographer. Doesn’t Like authority. Kind of reckless. All around adorable. 
You had a wife but she passed away. Her name started with a C.
You were in a Ska band called the Skauminist Manifesto
You can choose whether Amanda was adopted or whether your late wife gave birth to her
You and Amanda are new in town (Maple Bay). The game starts with you packing and moving.
Amanda is pretty much aware that your into guys and is low key your wing man.
General Game stuff:
After you meet Joseph you have a choice to either go to the coffee shop and meet Mat or go to the park and meet Brian and his daughter Daisy and then meet Craig and one of his daughters, River. 
You meet Robert Small fifth at a sports bar called Jim and Kim’s (though owned by a guy named Neil) after a mom named Mary tries to hit in you
You get the option to bang him almost immediately
You actually see him before hand in the coffee shop but don’t talk to him until the bar. 
Damien Bloodmarch is most likely a vampire from the Victorian Era
There are 13 children in total (including the player’s daughter Amanda) and 3 dogs (at least one of which belongs to Brian)
That leaves Damien and Robert having one child each.
There’s a cameo from the band Pup.
Most of the dialogue in the game is grunting (provided by the Game Grumps and Friends!)
The game will cost $14.99 when it’s released on July 13th at 10 AM Pacific
The acronym for the game Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator is DDADDS and that was intentional
The creators worked on this game for over a year and a half and really care about and it comes from a heartfelt place
I’m pretty sure they’re already planning a sequel
There will be DLC. Possibly more dads. 
The creators kind of hinted that they might make a mom dating game? 

2

Dad Jokes - Sometimes they defuse the situation, most times they just delay the inevitable.

I’d say stop me but it’s almost 3AM and I’m kinda dead to the world lol.