A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.
—  Lao Tzu

Anyway, back to @coffee_dad. As the name implies, he’s a dad who likes coffee. A lot. So much so that a solid 98 percent of his tweets are just shit like you see above.

If you look closely, you’ll note that almost every one of those seemingly pointless ramblings has over 1,000 retweets each. Can all of that activity be chalked up to his massive following of 161,000 coffee fanatics? Maybe, but it’s way more likely that people are hanging out for those occasional moments when the coffee talk ends and this begins:

That’s right, from time to time he breaks up the cafe monotony with a tweet or two about his dead kid. Just bask in that particular strain of weirdness.

Is any of this real? The general consensus seems to be that it’s not, seeing as how this account pops up on lists of the best parody accounts on Twitter constantly. So, rest easy knowing this isn’t really a dad grieving over the untimely death of his son; it’s just a dude pretending to grieve over the untimely death of his son. That’s what makes it funny!

Holy shit Twitter is a strange place sometimes.

5 Social Media Accounts That Waaaay Too Many People Follow

Here we go, my very first imagine ever! Warning: I love commas. I like, really love commas. If I would pause there when speaking, I comma. 

“Imagine bumping into Barba”

You were late. You were always late. But today you had outdone yourself in tardiness. You hurried along the busy downtown Manhattan street, regretting those thirty extra minutes in bed because now you couldn’t stop for your usual morning coffee. And the smell of coffee was everywhere, deliciously wafting out from the plethora of coffee shops and cafes. God, this week sucked, and it was only Tuesday.

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There are of course MANY things people do this with, but the two big ones are the ones I’d like to address… coffee and alcohol.

I like coffee and alcohol. I mean granted I mix much tastier things INTO them to make them even more, but those are things I like. Other people? DON’T like coffee and/or alcohol.

And that’s OKAY.

I cannot count the number of times I’ve seen some one say “I don’t like coffee/booze” and some one responds with “oh well you just haven’t found the RIGHT one, you’re mixing it up wrong, you’re probably getting it from the wrong source, etc etc”

Guys… chill. Let people dislike things. It’s OKAY. Hell it’s GOOD sometimes. Those friends are guaranteed to never steal your coffee or booze. It’s all yours! Everyone wins!