This is a game that lives in a funny world. It has a funny weapon called the ballistic knife. This is a knife that shoots knife blades, essentially. You might think, “That’s like a gun, but retarded.” You would be correct, except in COD’s funny world, it’s a one shot kill. Which means if you hit somebody in the leg with it, they die. You could hit their pinky finger and they’d die instantly. At the same time, you could stroll over a land mine and be all right once your ears stop ringing.
Which brings up some interesting questions about the arms makers in COD. Most people would say that it’s a very violent game. But think about it, the gun manufacturers in have made it so that a knife shooting knife is far deadlier than an M60 machine gun. The guns they make must shoot silly putty. So, that means that the gun manufacturers that the biggest countries in the world buy from have made their products not incredibly deadly contraptions. That’s a world I want to live in.
Why don’t all the guns just shoot knives, you ask? Fuck you buddy, that’s why.