So I don’t really consider myself a fan of the franchise but to be honest I actually really really like Call of Duty: Black Ops and I kinda sorta almost would like to see what a film adaptation of it would be like especially if the film adaptation went for a less “America fuck yeah” version of the plot than the game franchise pretty much always has for all the games
This is a game that lives in a funny world. It has a funny weapon called the ballistic knife. This is a knife that shoots knife blades, essentially. You might think, “That’s like a gun, but retarded.” You would be correct, except in COD’s funny world, it’s a one shot kill. Which means if you hit somebody in the leg with it, they die. You could hit their pinky finger and they’d die instantly. At the same time, you could stroll over a land mine and be all right once your ears stop ringing.
Which brings up some interesting questions about the arms makers in COD. Most people would say that it’s a very violent game. But think about it, the gun manufacturers in have made it so that a knife shooting knife is far deadlier than an M60 machine gun. The guns they make must shoot silly putty. So, that means that the gun manufacturers that the biggest countries in the world buy from have made their products not incredibly deadly contraptions. That’s a world I want to live in.
Why don’t all the guns just shoot knives, you ask? Fuck you buddy, that’s why.
Today I learned that former Panamanian dictator Manuel Noriega is suing video game company Activision, makers of the ubiquitous and hugely successful “Call of Duty” series, for including his likeness in the “Black Ops II” installment of the series without his consent. Click the link to see a picture of Noriega, and a screenshot of his likeness in the game.
His suit is likely to fail because he’s a public figure - Activision is protected by the First Amendment. But Activision isn’t messing around. The attorney they’ve hired to represent them? Rudy freaking Giuliani. When asked for comment on the suit, Giuliani said:
I am morally outraged that a man like Noriega is seeking to inhibit our creative rights in the United States … If creative rights have to be sacrificed, they shouldn’t be sacrificed for someone like Noriega, nor should anyone have to send millions of dollars down to a Panamanian jail because this madman is making absurd claims.
Now that’s zealous representation! I didn’t even know ol’ Rudy was a lawyer, but there he is, a principal partner in the New York law firm of Bracewell and Giuliani. He chairs the firm’s white collar criminal defense practice (unsurprisingly), and also does corporate, broker/dealer, and bankruptcy, general litigation, internal investigations, and regulatory enforcement. At least he’s not a lobbyist, I guess. Maybe. He probably is.